Ms. Mare: Convicted Crotch Sniffer

by Kassaz

The Yells

Had Anonymous been told that he’d be teleported to another world, in which the females lust after him to the point they break into his house regularly, he would’ve been ecstatic. Now that he lives in that world, he understands that a man loses an awful lot of sleep that way.

Tonight, he woke up after something jumped on him, knocking the air out of his lungs. By now, he wasn’t worried about someone trying to kill him, not that it was really much of a concern with the peaceful ponies anyway; he knew what she wanted. Another telltale sign was how they never struggled against him, such as when he would lean over to start a light, but it’s awfully hard to properly light a lantern with a mare who weighed at least as much as he did pressing down on him regardless, and so he now had a shining crystal covered with a cloth that he used in these situations. After his coughing fit ended and he could just barely breathe, he yanked the fabric away, and illuminated the entire room.

He was greeted by a bubblegum pink butt pressing down on his chest, and the tail with stripes of silver and rust colours even obscured his view of anything he may have wanted to see. On both sides of that butt was a cutie-mark depicting a chocolate bar. “Goddamn it, Mare!”

“Yeah, say my name.” Ms. Mare spoke without lifting her head from him, each word interrupted by another loud sniff.

Really, he wouldn’t even mind that much, or at least he preferred to think he wouldn’t mind that much, if he got something out of this. A sexy night with a different mare from his harem of crotch sniffers could be nice, but they never did anything except sniff. They wake him up, nearly every night, and all they do is sniff. They’re right there, and they only ever sniff, and never anything else. It was torture.

Ms. Mare was playing in the bushes around a tall and impressive tree, but something else wasn’t right about this. That tree was flanked by two large and very impressive boulders, and somepony else was enjoying the nooks and crannies around there. He moved Ms. Mare out of the way, as much as he could, to look around her and see a white pony with a squiggly tail dressed ridiculously. “What the fuck are you doing here, Rarity?!”

Rarity, to her credit, pulled her head away and looked at him in horror. “H-However did you recognize me, d-darling?”

“It was a lucky guess.” Anonymous rolled his eyes before answering.

Rarity felt like a fool; he hadn’t seen through her disguise at all, but his wits had nevertheless duped her into revealing her hidden identity. Being a gentlemare could be such a burden. Her gaze turned from his head to his head, and she decided that she couldn’t possibly get in more trouble with him now; she resumed what she’d been doing, sniffing furiously and giggling.

Anonymous lay his head back down on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. All of this, and yet he was staring at the ceiling. It was time for his usual nightly routine.

He stretched out his left arm as much as he could, and brought it to hover over Ms. Mare’s flank a few times, to make certain he were aiming correctly. He slapped her with all of his might, the sound so loud it drowned out the sniffing noises. Ms. Mare jumped with a yelp, now straddling him, and he put a hand against her barrel to push her off; Ms. Mare unceremoniously rolled off the bed and landed with a thud.

Rarity was paying him no mind, still. He simply grabbed her by the horn and moved her out of the way so he could rotate to a sitting position on the bed and then stand on the floor. She made some weird noise he couldn’t quite name. His slippers were where they always were, and he slid them on before letting go of her horn and walking to the closet.

It was a cold night, so he’d want a robe at the least, but he couldn’t be too picky since he had to choose quickly. He slid on the first thing he found and headed for the door. Rarity followed him, sniffing all the way, and Ms. Mare had picked herself up by now. He quickly walked down the stairs, glared at the lock on his door for a moment before opening it, and entered the cold outside as they followed at his heels, and his crotch.

---

Rarity wasn’t really paying attention to what was happening around her, not since she’d decided to throw away her last bit of caution. She noticed when she tripped and scuffed her poor pants, however, but it was only a momentary distraction before his scent tickled her brain and beckoned her to continue following him, wherever he was going. He led them somewhere familiar, into some building, and then a quaint little room.

She noticed herself being pushed into the wall by a unicorn’s magical grip. The wall was cold, in fact the entire little room was cold. She looked around to notice Anonymous on the other side of the prison bars, talking to the stallion in full guard uniform. She felt herself gently lowered to the stone floor.

“Thanks officer. I’ll be going back to sleep now.” He left. He left without even saying goodbye.

The sweet smell that was him was now completely gone. Sobriety, however, couldn’t yet turn to the mare. She turned to Ms. Mare and began to speak. “What do we do now, Mare?”

Ms. Mare was asleep in one of the little beds, snoring away. No, it was the only little bed.

“I see this is your first overnight stay with us, Miss Rarity.” The stallion was calm, but his voice full of contempt. “Ms. Mare prefers the bed, but you’re free to the corner.” Rarity followed his hoof to see there was another bed in the room, a traditional bed made of hay.

It stunk, and not in a good way.

Author's Note:

Ms. Mare’s appearance is under-specified. Her description in this chapter will be changed if the need arises.

Comments

[Aiwhisper]

Oh Rarity

[Iron Comet]

What? Not even a phone call and getting bailed out by one of her friends?