• Published 7th Mar 2024
  • 2,304 Views, 4 Comments

Beneath the Empire - Holocron



Prince Frosty and Princess Cadance discover an ancient chamber under the Crystal Empire, and become trapped inside.

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Comments ( 4 )

Pretty good story, though there are a couple of grammar mistakes you may want to edit.

For example, there's a part where you call both Cadance and Frosty princesses.

he Princess and Princess moaned out, feeling as their passions only swelled and swelled.

And one part where you say "effect" instead of "effective".

“You don’t say.” Cadance replied, almost wide eyed as she was realizing what he was getting at. Nervously laughing, she couldn’t help but fidget a little. “And…how effect would this enchantment be?”

11844736
Thanks, I was struggling a lot cause I hardly ever do a Flurry genderbend story. :twilightsmile:

Wow that was so good! Is there gonna be a sequel?

11852346
If the commissioner wants it.

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