Into the Everfree
“Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!” Mayor Mare said. The guards’ wings however, was bent in a way that probably needs medical attention.
“Really? Thou thinks a couple of guards could stop me?” Nightmare Moon asked incredulously. “Thou must be kidding.”
Nightmare Moon turns back into blue smoke and wisps away. Rainbow, seeing this, uses her hoof to get Applejack’s mouth of her tail and tries to chase the smoke, failing to do so however. “Night forever?”
“No! This can’t be happening! Sun’s good for my coat or something!” Pipp whined. “Oh, yeah, and night is bad or whatever.”
“...Yer kidding right?” Applejack asked, in disbelief.
Twilight and Sunny sprinted outside of Town Hall. Rainbow, who saw them, started flying after them with Applejack, Zipp, Hitch, Izzy, Rarity, Pipp, Misty, Fluttershy, and Pinkie following the rainbow maned pegasus.
“Wa-ait! Where are we going?” Pipp asked.
Inside the light house, Sunny tucked Spike in bed while Twilight ran to the library. After making sure Spike was secure, she followed behind her.
“Elements, elements, elements... E, E, E...” Twilight said, scanning the bookshelves before groaning. “How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?!”
Twilight turned around, only to see Rainbow right there behind her with narrowed eyes. “And what just are these Elements of Harmony?” She asked in a suspicious tone. “And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy!?”
“Rainbow, stop!” Zipp said, entering the conversation. “Look, if she was a spy, she wouldn’t want to stop her!”
“Zipp’s right, Rainbow.” Applejack said. She turned to Twilight, the others looking at her too. “But she sure knows what’s goin’ on, don’t ya Twilight?”
Twilight was about to speak, but paused. Should I really trust them? I don’t even know them! She turned to look at the group, seeing their concerned faces made her rethink. She sighed and gave in. “Back in Canterlot, the Princess assigned me to research on The Tale of the Two Sisters, once I cross-referenced that to The Mare in the Moon, I figured out that the Mare in the Moon is infact Nightmare Moon. The only things that can stop her are these mysterious powerful artifacts called the Elements of Harmony, but I don’t know where they are! Or what they do!”
Pinkie, who wasn’t listening, took a book from the bookshelf. “Ooh! Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide! This looks cool!”
Twilight uses her magic to tear the book from Pinkie’s hooves. “How did you find this?!”
“Oh, it was under E~!” Pinkie said in a sing-song voice.
“Ooh, this library is soo cozy! This is lots of cool vibes and stuff.” Pipp remarked. She then saw some cobwebs on the corners. “But, uh, it needs some cleaning.”
“Pipp, focus.” Zipp said.
“Oh, yeah. Uh, you were saying, Twilight?” Pipp asked.
Twilight rolled her eyes as she used her magic to open the book and flip its pages.
"There are twelve Elements of Harmony, but only eleven are known so far." Twilight read as she flipped to the next page. "Honesty, Selflessness, Kindness, Empathy, Laughter, Creativity, Generosity, Confidence, Loyalty, Courage, and Hope, the twelfth is a total mystery...”
“Ooh, a mystery! Zipp could help with that.” Pipp said.
“No way, Pipp! It’s fun and all but Mom would never allow it, though when would that stop me.” Zipp said. “Anyways, where are these Elements.”
“It is said that the last known location of these Elements was in the now ancient castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.” Twilight said.
“Castle? There’s nothing like that here,” Hitch said. “Or anywhere else. Well, besides Canterlot.”
“In 2022, Archeologist Pine Bone has found that the castle is now located in what is now...”
The twelve are now standing infront of a forest on the outskirts of Maretime Town. “...the Everfree Forest.”
“Ooh, spooky! It actually does make sense that old, powerful, ancient artifacts are in a creepy old forest!” Pipp said, ecstatic.
“How in any world would it make sense?” Hitch asked.
“Well, duh! It’s a classic plot line in movies!” Pipp said. “My personal favorite is Savannah Flint! Her movies are amazing!”
“Yay! Let’s go!” Pinkie said, bouncing towards the entrance before Twilight stopped her with her magic and dragged her back to where she was. “Aww...”
“Look, I appreciate the offer. But I’d rather do this on my own.” Twilight said.
“No way, we can’t let you go there all alone.” Sunny said.
“She’s right, Twilight. The Everfree Forest ain’t natural, we won’t let any friend of ours go inside alone.” Applejack said.
“That’s right! I’m gonna stick to you like caramel on a candy apple!” Izzy said, moving closer to Twilight.
Twilight laughed nervously at that statement. “Great...”
The twelve ponies ventured in the forest, hearing the silence, Sunny decided to speak up. “Soo, none of you have been in here before?”
“Heavens, no! Just look at it, it’s dreadful!” Rarity said.
“Yeah, even if I like horror films, I’d never go in here.” Pipp shuddered.
“It ain’t natural, Sunny.” Applejack said. The group arrives on a cliff edge. “Folks say it don’ work the same as Equestria.”
“Huh? It’s just a forest, what could happen?” Sunny asked. Unbeknownst to the group, blue wisp entered the cracks of the cliff.
“Nopony knows. You know why?” Rainbow said, creeping closer to Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Hitch, Pipp, and Misty.
“Rainbow, quit it!” Applejack said.
“’Cause everypony who’s ever come in has never.. come... OUT!” Just as she said that, the edge of the cliff crumbles and takes all the earth ponies and unicorns with it. Zipp, Pipp, Rainbow, and Fluttershy get airborne just in time.
“Quick!” Rainbow said, diving in after them.
Rainbow grabs Pinkie’s tail and carries her to safety. Fluttershy uses her teeth to grab Misty’s tail to slow the fall. Zipp grabs Hitch and Izzy’s tail with her teeth as well. And Pipp carries Rarity’s tail with her hooves followed by a- “My tail!” from Rarity.
Applejack, however, uses her teeth to grab on an exposed grab. The farm mare saw Twilight and Sunny sliding down towards the edge and releases her hold on the branch to help them. “Hold on! Ah’m-a-comin’!”
Reaching the edge, Applejack grabs Twilight and Sunny’s forelegs in time. “Applejack! What do we do?!”
Sunny felt her grip on Applejack’s hoof loosening by the minute. “Where are the others?!”
Applejack looked and saw that the pegasi in the group were still helping the non-pegasi get down safely. She felt her grip loosening when she saw the terrified looks on her friends faces. She knew she couldn’t hold them forever.
“Let go.”
When Applejack said this, Twilight and Sunny’s faces instantly became one of shock. “Hehe- what?” Sunny asked incredulously.
“Ah said, let go.” Applejack said.
“Are you crazy?!” Twilight said.
“No, ah ain’t. Ah promise ya, y’all be safe.” Applejack assured... which did not help.
“That’s not true!” Twilight said.
“It’s a long drop! We’re not gonna make it!” Sunny said.
“Now listen here. What ah’m sayin’ to ya is the honest truth. Let go, and ya’ll be safe.” Applejack said. For a split second, an orange hue shone across her eyes, which nopony noticed.
Inside Twilight’s mind, she was battling a fight between her brain and her instinct. So was Sunny, but it looked like instinct was winning for her.
The two release their grip, coincidentally at the same time, and start screaming as they fall. Until Rainbow and Fluttershy catch Twilight while Zipp and Pipp caught Sunny.
“Phew,” Twilight said.
“Oof, I think I saw my life flash before my eyes.” Sunny said as Zipp and Pipp bring her to the ground.
Unbeknownst to them, the blue smoke exits the cliff and heads on ahead.
“All right, everypony. We’re in uncharted territory, I repeat, uncharted territory!” Hitch instructed. “We cannot, I repeat, cannot split up. The Everfree Forest is dense, it can be easy to get lost.”
“Yes, yes, I wouldn’t be going anywhere near this... dirt.” Rarity said. “How much longer until we get there?”
“Uh, you do remember we’re lost, right? There’s no time estimate.” Zipp said.
“So, you’re saying, we could be stuck here for days?!” Rarity realized.
“Yep,”
“WHAT?! I cannot be stuck in here for days! Months?! Years?!” Rarity reacted.
“It won’t get to that, right, Zipp?” Hitch said, slightly irritated.
Zipp rolled her eyes when a thick mist suddenly started rolling in, which Hitch took notice of. “Everypony, stick together!”
The group did so and started stepping closer together. “Twilight, do you, like, know any spells that could uh, blow the mist away?”
“Princess Celestia taught me one, but it’s a high class spell. It’s going to take me a while.” Twilight said, her horn flaring up.
The mist suddenly advanced much, much quicker, enveloping the group completely.
Hitch, who’s eyes were closed, didn’t notice blue smoke slowly pulling him towards the forest. He opened his eyes to find he was in the forest... and Nightmare Moon was infront of them. Wait, what?!
“Nightmare Moon!” Hitch said, cross. “What did you do to my friends?! If you’ve hurt them, I’m going to-”
“Thou has nay reason to worry, thy’s friends are safe.” Nightmare Moon said. “Thou has come here to negotiate.”
“Okay... I’ll bite.” Hitch cautiously said. “What are the terms?”
“Thou could have wealth! Thou could be a puissant!” Nightmare Moon said.
“Nope.”
This stunned the moon alicorn. “What?”
“I don’t really want riches, or whatever puissant means. I’m okay with the life I have.” Hitch replied. “And if being rich means being with those Canterlot elitists, then I’d say no. Sparky shouldn’t live in a place of racist jerks. So, no.” During a split-second, his eyes flashed green.
Nightmare Moon growled and turned back into smoke and wisped away. Hitch, who was surprised, shook it off and started walking back to his friends.
“Hitch! Hitch!” Sunny called. “No, no, no, no! Hitch!”
“Maybe he’s just hiding? Like a game of hide and seek?” Izzy said, trying to light up the mood.
“Izzy, please! This is serious! Hitch wouldn’t just run off like that!” Sunny said.
“Sorry... I was just trying to lighten up the mood.” Izzy said, slightly hurt.
Sunny took a deep breath before talking. “No, I’m sorry, Izzy. I’m just worried about Hitch.”
Suddenly, Hitch came out of the forest, out of breath. “Hitch!”
“What happened?! Why were you...?” Sunny asked.
“Eh, Nightmare Moon tried to negotiate with me. Something about riches, puissants.” Hitch summarized.
“What!? Why didn’t you accept?! You could be mega rich!” Pipp said, shocked.
“Well, first of all, I’m happy with the life I have already. And second, Canterlot elitists are racist jerks. Sparkly shouldn’t live in a place like that.”
“Huh, I did not expect you to be right on the money about Canterlot. Though, not everypony there is bad, just like... sixty percent of them.” Sunny said.
“Let’s get going if we want to reach the castle by... well, night.” Hitch joked while everyone else groaned.
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This means that Nightmare Moon says that Hitch came to negotiate when it makes more sense for her to claim that she herself came to negotiate. Also why does Nightmare Moon think Hitch in particular would be interested in her offer?
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She saw that Hitch was like the leader of the group in her view, so if he left, it wouldn’t be long before the others give up. Also, I had no ideas for Hitch’s part.
UPDATE: Wait, by re-reading that comment... I’m gonna edit the chapter.
Hey there. Another well done effort on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up in this chapter. REALLY liked Zipp pointing out to Rainbow that Twilight is trying to STOP Nightmare Moon in addition to Applejack's stuff, as well as Pipp's observations about the lighthouse (though, given Sunny has much bigger concerns right now, it IS understandably that she hasn't pointed out that nobody has lived in the lighthouse for a bit more than ten years - when she and her father moved to Canterlot). And the additional information on the stuff from famous explorers concerning the Castle of the Two Sisters was also quite welcome (though I'm surprised Hitch didn't point out that, as sheriff, him going into dangerous places to help the innocent is all part of the job when Twilight initially wanted to go in alone). And, yeah, Applejack showed a bit of downplayed Adaptational Badflank (it's not the correct Trope term, but I try very hard to avoid using bad language on public forums) in briefly catching both Twilight AND Sunny (though she could have mentioned that there was already Pegasi in place to catch them both [that was more of a point out concerning the canon episode, though]). The work going into Nightmare Moon's attempt to tempt Hitch was also good, as was Sunny's point out that, while more than half of Canterlot's nobles might be that bad, there were 40 percent that were fairly decent (she would be able to speak from experience in this universe). And, yeah, I could see Hitch helping Fluttershy in helping out the Manticore (such as gently talking to the Manticore while Fluttershy gave the paw that had the thorn in it proper dressing).
REALLY looking forward to more of this ESPECIALLY the rest of the trials.
honesty is resonating
Interesting story. Can't wait to see the next chapter!
Traces of the detective that canon Zipp is?
This adds depth to her thinking, but is she just being generically 'I am the smartest person in the room by far, and don't need Ponies interfering or panicking.' is she thinking 'need to know'?
All ditzy reality warping rather than (also) having having a different, but often effective thinking system? If this is a variation to her overall character I.don't like it, but it could be an okay variation to the moment if that is all it is.
Nice pointing it out be the Mare who knows everypony.
So the Everfree isn't quite as unexplored in the modern era as it is in canon?
Not sure the jumps cut works as.well here... Should maybe have Twilight go silent and just put Spike to bed (maybe Hitch suggests a "sleepover"*) and then she just walks out the door and refuses to explain until it becomes obvious as they walk with her than where she is going...
*Actually, shouldn't Twilight have a LITTLE trust for Hitch since he is a sheriff? I hope you aren't using his less competent posts movie portrayal here?
(Posting to avoid losing too much if something goes wrong. May edit this (perhaps several times), continue in a new post, or, if things don't work out, stop commenting.)
Arm hurt. Typing less. Should be "root".
Nmm's line to Hitch still makes it sound like he came to her I think? Something is off.with it anyway.
Why it's story is cancelled?
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Problems in IRL came up, and trying to write in maybe the busiest time isn't exactly doing favors for me.