Once, Fluttershy was a humble citizen of Ponyville, one with a kind heart and a love for animals. However, that changed when Iron Will came into town. Her submissive and timid personality changed and soon she was asserting her will over everypony else. After insulting her friends, she realized what she had become. Fearing what she might do next, she left Ponyville for good.
Her luck changed when she came across a nice little village, one where everypony was Equal.
One year of a pleasant life in this town later, she writes to her old friend, Twilight Sparkle, asking her to visit.
[Cover art made using https://www.derpibooru.org/images/1554309 ]
Chapters (1)
That is the most horrifically soulless image I've ever seen in my life. Well-done. 😨
Awww, now that sure is a very sad story, with Ponyville gone, the Mane 6 separated, and pretty much everything. But on the other hand, it's so satisfying to see this being an alternate story to The Cutie Map, with Fluttershy being the one to set everything right with Twilight's help. This makes me actually prefer this storyline over the actual episode.
Job well done, and a fave well deserved.
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Thanks! I do have some ideas for futures stories that expand further on this timeline, so perhaps we might get to see where things go from here, as well as a bit more info on what happened to Twilight.
For want of a nail...
Fascinating premise you got here. There could still be a chance for things to be set right between the mane 6, for them all to find closure at the ripple effect Fluttershy's actions upended their lives. Maybe things can't go back exactly how they were but there's loads of juicy drama you could milk from this here premise. Awesome work!
The premise is unique and pretty interesting, but the realization... I feel like it was too rushed. The moments that should've been very emotional fit into a couple of paragraphs with minimal buildup done beforehand, the dialogs are pretty dry and sometimes the story reads more like a description of the events that will be expanded into proper scenes in the future.
Okay, Twilight comes off as an absolute ***** here. blaming Fluttershy for everything that went wrong. If Flutters chose to run away, then that's her choice, and that's where it ends. I feel like Twi needs to pull her head out of her arse.
You did do something pretty unique with the whole equality thing with Our Town. Most fics never use the idea that, Yes special talents are unique, But it can be shared with everyone.
It has a different kind of equality with Fluttershy's change. Providing until everyone is equal(Fluttershy's way) is a starct contrast to stripping away until everyone is equal(Starlight's Way)
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Yes but also no. Fluttershy is linked to one of the elements, and like it or not, that’s a massive responsibility. The fact the elements are unusable is absolutely on Fluttershy here, and Twilight has every right to be mad when shy deserting then led to this. I have no idea how they defeated tirek, but Twilight is objectively right that Fluttershy being there would have allowed a victory without the cost of Ponyville. We’ve seen that timeline.
Running away from your problems leaves a lot of loose ends, and in this case we also know flutters fears were unfounded: she did improve and work past her issues with assertiveness. Twi could also be coming from a place of “I know you could have overcome those issues if you’d let us support you through it.” Fluttershy also just ghosted all her friends, who cared deeply for her.
So while Twi definitely could have had more tact here, Fluttershy running from her fears hurt Twi, and the rest of the elements who Twilight cared for too (imagine how devastated Dash would’ve been if shy disappeared). She has reason to be pretty ticked off even before factoring in the destruction of Ponyville.