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This story is a sequel to Full Friendship's Magic #1 (The Filly From Mitaly)
After the Pie cousins reunited, both lived happily together in Sugar Cube Corners. But how long can she keep her appearance, promise, and her lies from her cousin and her new friends?
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✶✶✶⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
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Oc with Identity crisis why?
11793146
Its more like a
cutie mark crisis.Hey, I have read your stories earlier and I liked reading the story. I found a few spelling/grammar and punctuation errors but not that many, IIRC. However, the fact that you used quotes when explaining something instead of when the characters are talking was something that I had to get used to. In my opinion, if you want to pick up where you ended, I think you should watch for that. Moreover, I think the plot should be only in one story instead of multiple since the 2 stories didn't really put an end to the plot in those stories (if you know what I mean).
This is meant as constructive criticism and I'm not trying to sound mean or anything. I hope it can help you and like I said, I really liked the story. I'm looking forward to read more of this story.
11851895
I'm glad i got at least some feed back. Tbh i thought no was active enough to even leave feedback (since I've reposting threads for months). What that being said, I get what you mean by the swap of dialogue and plot is somewhere I started and was pointed out to me before. I will fix that part along with finding the right words to shorten the pronounce since I know is a mouthful to read.
Plot wise I decided to split it apart just so I'd be easier to keep track on what happens. (I'm going for by arcs) In short. I tried to keep it as one but it's hard to make a clear synopsis.
The story is interesting, although the order of the dialogues is a bit confusing.
Getting back to the story, mm I'm not sure how Luna fits into all this. An innocent prank perhaps.
Pizza Pai does try hard to be like Pinkie, it's a shame that Discord is a heavy critic for those things.
11875246
Yeah, I'm not a top-class writer and just do my corrections on my own on a little laptop in my spare times.
Luna gets involved in a later chapter on this arc.
As for Discord, I brought back his old-self to give it some spice over her re-encounter with the Pizza pie protagonist.
Hey, it's me again!
I just finished the 2nd arc, and I gotta admit, it was pretty good too! I can sense the build up you're going for with the story, and the way you ended this arc very abruptly was very enticing.
Also I've decided to give the 3rd arc a look as well before I give feedback, but it probably won't change much because it's still incomplete. I'll finish up my thoughts in the next few days and give you what for.
See ya later!
11886947
Thank you so much for the feedback, I said it before the connection between the prologue and current will intertwine. But what you're reading in this arch will soon be revise. I'm switching to comas to its correct use and might add or reduce some dialogue as one feedback I received mention. But at your next read in 3rd arc will already be set correctly. I just do it at my free time, but again thank you the feedback.