MelanieQOS
Joined 5th Jan, 2018 ·
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This is my first ever story. Its dark. I would appreciate genuine feedback.
I love this, we don't get a lot of shameless dark zebradom clopfics. So naturally this one ends up in my favorites and I'll be keeping an eye out for more. Other zebradom fics went in different ways, some are even wholesome. But this one is more in line of what I needed in a zebradom fic. A simple zebra conquering Equestria story. I'm excited for this, genuinely
My only criticism would be the spacings
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Thank you alot for the feedback. I have spent hours writing this. English is not my first language. When I have the time I will look to edit and fix those spacing issues. The spacing is so much different than in the word sheet 😇🤗.
I might look up some ai writing tools that supports nsfw works in order to have a better sentence structure to make my story more appealing.
I just finished chapter 4.
If you have any ideas let me know. There is a high chance that I will include them.
One last thing. Chapter 3 took the most effort. Do you think it is important to have a longer more plot based story or a rushed straight to the sex part story?
I like this
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I am a big fan of you work. Im trying to create a masterpice similar to yours.
Cant wait to see chater where he gonna take Celestia and Cadance and impregnate them and make them his broodmares
Bit disappointing that when Obsidian did it with Fluttershy. He didn't receive a good old boobjob/tit**k, considering Fluttershy does has massive milk tanks.
I have a zebra fic myself. And l do like your story that I have add it to my favorites. 👍
That's one spankable Flutterbutt!
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First of all, Thank you for this story I love the darker ones as well where an invasive - dominant species 'wins' in the end.
Usually in the long run as well, stories like this tends to be a lot better if there is enough way and words for the plot to unfold (with longer sex part as well) so I love the longer ones as well.
Looking forward to see more and thank you for making this so far.
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If you need something to help with your English and your grammar I can link you something in private messages to help
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Would appreciate it 😇
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Yea kind of true. He will in future chapters so do not worry about it.
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A mix of both is good for many people but I do prefer rushing straight towards the sex, just my preference though. I do love how a zebra takes what they want, no convoluted ways to get the ponies. He's so strong no one can stop him. It's really good stuff
As for ideas am not sure what's the plan for this story is gonna be. Like is he going to conquer the important mares only like the Mane 6? Maybe some other secondary characters too. I'd love for the zebra to expand to the dragons, hippogriffs, and pretty much all the creatures
Where did you get the art from?
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The general idea is zebra takeover. So there will be all the main characters and princesses being claimed by Obsidian. He will probebly leave the rest of the female population to his zebra buddies. This is the current state.
Nice to have another aficionado providing this type of content
Before I read this, Will here be any M/M sex?
Like turning Spike, Big Mac, and Shining Armor into femboy?
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Yes. Probably just little shiny tho 😊
This fic reminds me of this
Z-Book
Same Gimmik, Same Plot.
Zebras breeding ponies to extinction.
Taking over Equestria with world's biggest cock.
Esto parece una unión de Slaves To Their Stripes y Kwa Rushwa. Pero con mucha más obscenidad y una historia más simple.
Out of curiosity will there be any breeding of Princess Cadence? Wanna get some TRUE NTR vibes from this. Kee up the good work <3
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Of course there will
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Basiclly. A zebradom fic in a nutshell.
Taking over everything with a god sized cock is the oldest maledom plot in the book.
Nice story, can’t wait for more chapter!Hope we can see Obsidan conquering the mane 6 mothers and Mrs Cake.
Dude! The specific part where the torturing happened. Along with mixing it with sex!?
Too far, just too far.
You might give the Caribou themselves from Fall of Equestria "fandom", a run for its money on "most pure evilness and cruelty" award.
Obsidian is giving Dainn a run for his money for the "Most Hated OC in the Brony Community" Award. Seems like Zebra's are more successful in conquring Equestria than Caribou.
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Yea was maybe a bit extreme 😅
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At Least the caribou let the stallions live.
This was definitely one of the more darker zebradom stories I've ever read. It was powerful, direct, and I felt things played out very well, given the tone presented. You've done an exceptional job, and I know many readers who enjoy "darker" zebradom stories would flock to this. Amazing work, my friend.
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Ty so much 🥰😍. I have spent so many hours writing this. I never expected to have so much positive feedback on a darker fiction. I have loved some of your stories. I do not want to rush chapters since I care about quality in the plot and slight logic behind it. Zebradom had always been my favourite fiction.
Awesome sublestia chapter! Thanks a lot!
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Thank you for reading it ☺
18 inch cock.... that's massive!!!!
Latest chapter was great! Cant wait to see him go after cadence!
Seeing Celestia being degraded to clean smegma sure makes this a whole lot more enjoyable. Keep it up!
Also the newest chapter was 10/10 too!
Im currently very busy and I barerly get time to write. What do you guys prefer. Cadance or Cadence. I can not figure out which one of the two spellings is correct as many seem to have the same issue.
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Cadance would be my prefered calling for her.
What’s a “superior zebra”?
Any chance Shiny can get turned Gleaming and join the brood? :3
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Zebras are better than ponies is the plot. This is the term, superiority over another race.
11717257
Unlikely 😪😥
Are we going to see the rest of the mane six and the cmc becoming part of Obsidian's harem
So he has all of the alicorns. How many chapters are left?
Great chapter mate, anything with chrysalis planned?
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Mane 6 yes. Something different planned for the rest.
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more than 5
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Not yet, but might be interesting. 😊😇