Written in Ink... and Some Tears

Entry 1

Um, hello, whoever is reading this. (Which, by the way, should only be me. After all, this is meant to be my diary. But I'm convinced this book won't stay hidden in the public light indefinitely.)

If you happen to come across this book in the future, you'll be reading my, admittedly terrible, hornwriting of a unicorn named Starlight Glimmer. As of this writing, I am the Princess of Friendship's very first pupil following my time as a...

It would be preferable if ponies did not learn about my past. In the present or in the future. You might wonder what my past was like. I'd write it down, but I'm worried my tears will stain the paper if I write out all of the horrible things I did, and my hornwriting is already difficult to read.

If I don't have to say it, then I won't.

You want answers? Go ask Twilight; or if you're in the far future, read the history books. I'm sure they'll be talking about me long after I'm dead.

But back to my point. I hate my past with a burning passion. If someone mentions it, I freak out mentally, or just feel a bit of self-loathing. Hey, I deserve it, don't I?

I don't know how I manage to keep a straight face whenever those moments happen.

I really don't.

Entry 2

I'm bored so I'll just write out my current thoughts in this diary, I suppose. I thought one page would suffice, but I guess not.

But then again, I'm sure Twilight wouldn't be satisfied with one page. I disappointed her enough already during this hard path of redemption...

You know what I said about my hope of ponies forgetting about my past? Well, I was wrong. I still don't like it, but I was wrong. Ponies should learn from my mistakes as a villain: revenge is wrong; time travel is something that no pony should do; and equality...

Equality...

Hm...

I would write more, but my magic is making my quill shake whenever I think about THAT word.

Entry 3

EQUALITY IS EVIL.

Sorry for the giant letters at the beginning. I had to get my point across. And yes, I did write it like an angry mad-mare. How can you tell?

Entry 4

I'll say it again in a more calmer way. Equality is evil.

Regrettably, I embraced this lifestyle. I forced ponies to be the same. Anyone who is different or special had to be punished. Not physically, but mentally.

I didn't kill anyone, alright? I'm not that evil.

However, Twilight and her friends stopped me and my evil schemes. Back then, I hated her for it. Now, I am deeply grateful. I don't know where I would be now if she didn't visit my village. I would be doing the same evil things, I suppose.

But I'm better now.

I think.

Entry 24

Oh boy, I have done it again. I used magic for my own benefit.

What did I do this time? Well, I failed to do the simpliest tasks in the stupidest way possible: I forced five friends to do my bidding, and they didn't even have the ability to object! I hypnotized them! How idiotic of me to think that it was ok. Not to mention that I practically did the same thing I did in the past, albiet on a much smaller scale. It's still wrong though.

But then they forgave me? I appreciate it, but why? Like... why? I deserve at least some sort of punishment. Why am I being rewarded? These mares really confuse me...

But even if I somehow didn't get my well-deserved punishment, I learned my lesson in the end. At least... I hope. What if I just went my old ways again and just let magic do my dirty work?

I'm too ashamed to even write why I did these things in the first place...

Am I really this mentally unstable? Is there any hope for me left?

Twilight, I'm sorry.

I won't repeat this mistake again. You can be sure of that.

Entry 39

I did it.

I don't know how. I don't know if I deserved it yet... but I did it. I've graduated from Twilight's... friendship lessons? I don't know how to put it. "School" isn't exactly the right word for it. I think.

But anyways, after saving Equestria from Queen Chrysalis, Twilight decided that I was prepared to face my new life without any more friendship lessons for me to do. Honestly, this took me by surprise. I assumed that I would be her student for many years. It's not easy from being an evil dictator to the pony I am today. Believe me.

But... Twilight thinks I'm fit enough for it... so why am I having doubts? I should be happy, and I am.

But doubt always lingered in my mind. It always had.

This feeling of doubt is like an old, unwanted friend of mine. I want it gone, but since I've grown used to it... it's hard.

...Twilight believes in me. Maybe I should start believing in myself too. I didn't believe that I was fit to be a leader again, but it saved Equestria in the end, so...

I even got a giant mirror as my prize. If I have to be honest, I'm glad it's just a mirror. Now I can look at my reflection every day to see how much I've grown.

I'm just thankful that it's nothing too big. A mirror is good enough for me.

And I think I've grown out from this little diary of mine.

It's starting to run out of papers for me to write, so I should stop using it. I can handle my emotions better now.

I hope I'm right.

Final entry.

It took Twilight many days, but she finally managed to read through this diary years later.

And now she's considering whether to take Starlight into hoofwriting classes.

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Comments ( 13 )

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starcoder

starcoder #1 · Jul 1st, 2023 · 3 · ·

And now she's considering whether to take Starlight into hoofwriting classes.

She def needs penmanship classes more than friendship ones

Catpaw616

Catpaw616 #2 · Jul 1st, 2023 · 2 · ·

11625387
When it comes to penmanship, she definitely needs help.

Mystic Sunrise

Mystic Sunrise #3 · Jul 1st, 2023 · 3 · ·

Oh come on, the writing wasn't bad. Or at least you didn't make it look bad on screen at least. Who knows what it looked like in reality.

AC97

AC97 #4 · Jul 1st, 2023 · 4 · ·

11625387
11625389
You'd think/hope she was ~~forced~~ strongly encouraged to get better at penmanship at some point during S8-9, all things considered, lol.

6-D Pegasus

6-D Pegasus #5 · Jul 19th, 2023 · 1 · ·

Sorry for commenting so late, but very well done characterizing Starlight's feelings throughout this. Emotions can be hard^^
Also the last bit is a hilarious counter to lighten the mood after it all XD

Catpaw616

Catpaw616 #6 · Jul 19th, 2023 · 1 · ·

11643662
Comments are always welcome whether it's late or not, haha.

Thanks for the feedback!

Rewan Demontay

Rewan Demontay #7 · Jul 25th, 2023 · 1 · ·

This feels an accurate, realistic portrayal of her mental state. While most of us aren't recovering villains, I think we should all take in the message of one step at a time.

Catpaw616

Catpaw616 #8 · Jul 25th, 2023 · · ·

11648739
Thank you for the feedback. I tried to be as realistic as possible when it comes to Starlight's mental state

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #9 · Sep 18th, 2023 · 1 · ·

If you happen to come across this book in the future, you'll be reading my, admittedly terrible, hornwriting of a unicorn named Starlight Glimmer.

aww Starlight is so self-hating!

But back to my point. I hate my past with a burning passion. If someone mentions it, I freak out mentally, or just feel a bit of self-loathing. Hey, I deserve it, don't I?

oof! that sounds like the Starlight we know just after her reform

I would write more, but my magic is making my quill shake whenever I think about THAT word.

oof! we do somehow never really see Starlight talk about her old ideology after her reform

EQUALITY IS EVIL.

hmm that might be taking a lesson and applying it a bit too far, taken literally!

What did I do this time? Well, I failed to do the simpliest tasks in the stupidest way possible: I forced five friends to do my bidding, and they didn't even have the ability to object! I hypnotized them! How idiotic of me to think that it was ok. Not to mention that I practically did the same thing I did in the past, albiet on a much smaller scale. It's still wrong though.

yeah that was not the best move but also made sense for Starlight to unthinkingly revert back to her old ways of solving things when confronted with a new problem

It's not easy from being an evil dictator to the pony I am today. Believe me.

aww but that is why we love her!

I even got a giant mirror as my prize. If I have to be honest, I'm glad it's just a mirror. Now I can look at my reflection every day to see how much I've grown.

hehe, glad the mirror was appreciated! and nice to see Starlight accepting her growth

And now she's considering whether to take Starlight into hoofwriting classes.

aww, Starlight L!

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #10 · Sep 18th, 2023 · 1 · ·

You want answers? Go ask Twilight; or if you're in the far future, read the history books. I'm sure they'll be talking about me long after I'm dead.

And now I’m imagining a very frustrated Argyle Starscout dealing with the only surviving document about Starlight.

I like where you’re with this, but as is it feels more like a recap of Season 6 Starlight with minimal exploration beyond that. There are some good bits of painful self-reflection and the ending literally made me laugh out loud, but overall it presents canon while doing little to build on it. Still, thank you for the entry.

Catpaw616