Female Writer, Bisexual Writer, Smolder X Mare Crackship Connoisseur. Creator of the Smolderverse, and writer of many other kinds of clop and SFW stories (Commissions temporarily OPEN)
The Fillyfoolers3,946 stories ·3,487 members
Female Writers799 stories ·83 members
Original Pairings674 stories ·455 members
Rare Pairings172 stories ·126 members
Zephyr Heights Royal Family: Queen Haven, Princess Pipp Petals, Princess Zipp Storm (G5)175 stories ·106 members
Misty (G5)100 stories ·100 members
Featured on May 31st!
When Misty follows Sparky to Zephyr Heights in order to succeed in capturing him for Opaline, who will stop her? Two ponies reflect on how their newfound presence in each other's life changes them, possibly for the better...
Contest Entry for the May Pairings 2023 Contest!
Cover art done by Snow Quill 😁
Contains implied abuse from Opaline and light shipping/age difference. Misty is 25 years old in this fic, Queen Haven is 38.
Page generated in 0.112 seconds
Total duration
945 users online
1,220,064 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
nice work
Personally the pacing in the story feels a bit off. The romantic elements arrive too quickly without enough real buildup, and something feels a tad creepy about Haven falling in love with a mare in the same age range as her own daughters.
11597992
Her daughters would be 18-20 in this story, not the same as 25....
11597992
An age gap of 13 years doesn't really matter when both are well into adulthood and have no prior connections to each other.
I’m concerned that Opaline might try something because it seems like she could get anywhere. At the same time a lot of that was Misty’s doing.
11598005
11598360
18-20 year old daughters at 38, eh? Talk about a young mother.
I'll concede on the age issue as on reflection 13 years isn't the largest I've seen in a fanfic. But I still feel things move too fast. The idea of Misty gaining a proper parent figure makes for a great concept, but I believe this merits a multi-chapter story. As it is, it doesn't really cut the mustard for me.
Having said all that, the story is well executed on a technical level. I noticed you have written other G5 stories, so I think I'll give those a try.
11598385
That would make for a great story.
Herself, or anyone with a functioning brain. Duh.
11598996
If the movie was anything to go by, none of the guards at Zephyr Heights have functioning brains. They frequently wander off and neglect their duties, take telephone calls whilst doing their jobs, are generally incompetent, and run around in circles whilst being shot at, showing a complete lack of tactics or strategy in the process. It's either a strange writing decision on the part of the film-makers or a conscious writing choice to show that each race has become overconfident in their ability to wage war. If the unicorns had chosen to go on the offensive during the Crystal Incident, I suspect the pegasi would have had their asses handed to them.
a beginning of a longer tale, and yet it just ends here. not complaining about having read about it though. it really made me think of the fascinating possibilities, good job and thanks for the tale.
also about the age stuff, i heard it somewhere that typically one has to be at least eighteen years old or half the age of their romance partner plus seven years, whichever is greater, to be accepted. that doesn't work here but i suppose it is close enough.