Officer Down (The Rabbit Hole)

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dirty little secret

dirty little secret #1 · Apr 8th, 2023 · 1 · ·

This is your official review for the Furry Foray Festival Contest!

I've tried to be as objective as possible, but of course there are limits. I've tried to avoid being biased or arbitrary as much as I can, and hopefully I've succeeded at least somewhat. The full, final results will be announced on May 4th, and winners will be contacted shortly afterward to ask how they would like to accept their prizes. When readings these comments, please keep in mind that I know I'm often overly critical -- to the point where I can always find nitpicks even with the greatest works of literature. So don't take anything personally!

Notes:
- mini civilians As in, small civilians? I guess Zootopia does have a bunch of those, yes. Especially in Little Rodentia.
- she leaves from rooftop to rooftop leaps?
- It's pretty weird that we get things from Rough Diamond's perspective, but the narration is still calling her "the figure".
- The Rabbit The Equine the bound Rabbit Unnecessary capitalization.
- if she could just now them down Mow?
- The tube within the dildo allows Mixed up verb tenses.
- Seems kind of unrealistic that they'd have mutual orgasms both times, but maybe that's the sapphire's magic working.
- It was a significant way into the story before I was sure that Rough Diamond was anthro. A quick mention of her hands or something near the beginning would have helped a lot with that.
- Pretty nice trick how they trade the magic dildo back and forth, letting both of them both give and take.
- Do wish we could have got a little more description of what shape the magical dildo took, though. A bit hard to visualize without knowing whether it's shaped like a horsecock, bunny cock, or maybe human cock, or maybe just smooth like an actual dildo?
- Yes, they needed test subjects ... but why did that test subject have to be a ZPD officer? They could have abducted anyone else off the street (or perhaps simply enticed a willing volunteer) with much less risk.

Scores:
Provocativeness: 40
Progression: 85
Payoff: 80
Pacing: 80
Personality: 60
Prose: 42
Total: 387
For more information on what these scores mean, see the scoring rubric.