- Member Since 22nd Mar, 2019
- online
Black--Soul
German , Trying to write something worth while. Everyone start small after all. Enjoy the Story fellow Bronys (^///-///^)/)
Black--Soul
Joined 22nd Mar, 2019 ·
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Hmm interesting.
I hope I won't be disappointed after reading it
Well, if this is a Skylanders crossover, goodbye. I don't want to have anything to do with this bad thing.
I'll tell you right now, I'm not going to hate this story. It's just that I don't like the Skylanders because of the way Activision ruined my favorite childhood character.
11504363
I actually still have to read all chapters of the harlock5399 story myself.
This will be a challenge to adapt to.
11504370
I have actually no idea what so ever about the game series. Watched occational video game plays, fan art and that story cover i use?
No idea who made it, but you don't see the tail and what is between for a reason
No idea about the topic. I just try to write entertainment and are actually not even knowledgeable enough about Spyro saga to name anyone beside Spyro and Cynder...
All i use is is officially googled. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
11504398
I'm just one of those people who know the original three games and the three "legends" inside and out.
However, I can't accept what Activision did to two beautiful dragons when she got her hands on the rights to Spyro.
Spyro and Cynder in Skylanders academy:
i.pinimg.com/originals/ef/d4/cf/efd4cf4d9b2d101877d5d9bd5e95cc3f.jpg
Spyro and Cynder in "The legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon":
m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZmE5ODFlOTYtNTRmOC00ZGQ5LTkxYjctYTFjNGI0YzI4MDYwXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjM2NTM3ODA@._V1_.jpg
Okay, looks, but the creators of the series changed the character of Spyro. From a good-natured dragon, he turned, in fact, into Rainbow Dash. Seriously. this is exactly the type he appears in the Skylanders Academy.
In any case, write a story if you want it, my opinion in this matter is not an indicator.
11504424
This looks sooo awesome!
Not a big fan of Rainbowdash. Cynder will be a kind if anti-hero when i write her.
Not really evil, but she will be difficult to befriend.
Are you reading my Marksaline story per chance?
Expect a cute kind of sociopath in her beginning that get mellowed out by Luna and Nightmaremoon before episode one.
11504428
Honestly, I didn't read it. will have to look.
Cynder was sociopathic in The Legend of Spyro: the Eternal Night. But there she was like that because of guilt. Because before that, she did terrible things when she was under the control of the Dark Master.
Let's see what you get.
11504432
Ignore the dislikes. I have a few dedicated trolls on my account...
Good story like how it's starting so far
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If you want some spoilers what is yet to come, go read harlock5399 story.
I will mirror his story, minus the plotholes i pointed out in the comment section.
Maybe he will be kind enough to write a crossover with me down the line. We are writing Displaced stories here after all.
11504505
Oh I seen his story this one is based off already and hey maybe we can do a crossover in the future too if you like
11504519
Sure thing. What is the name of your story? I read it probably next friday or so to see where we can meet in our storylines.
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It's called displaced Mobian sisters
11504505
What are these "plotholes" anyway? And why isn't Spike in the character section?
11504613
If you read his story chapters, check the comments section afterwards. I made very detailed points among others.
Spike will not be in the story for many chapters. I can add him once his character makes a apperance
👍
Did you draw the cover art?
11505235
Nope, its a random picture of my juicy picture collection. That is why the right side isn't shown
Interesting. You got a few minor grammar mistakes though
Interesting potray that timberwolf show respect. And a little error here, a repeated one from the first chapter.
11505309
Yep, i found today 5 typos when my insomnia keep me awake for a hour. Next weekend i might find the time to fix more after searching for them.
11505314
Okay, just trying to help. I mostly noticed you wrote familie instead of the english word family
11505316
O crap, a typical german is so similiar to english word mistake. I fix it later, thanks
11505450
youre welcome
Nice work! Saw only one mistake
short but good
I saw a few mistakes here and there but they're easily fixable
Very nice!
Good chapter can't wait for more
The hell, Celestia!!??
For one; Why do they think the displaced Cynder as some sort of depraved experiment of a unknown evil?
Well, they are technically correct. Considering with Malefor from the canon games. Or more specifically, the Displaced Merchant.
11507279
The next chapters will be even more fun
After that one things slowly become more seriouse...
Feel a bit mixed with this Celestia here.
Then again, I do agree with this quote;
Good one with the name
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You still haven't answered my question?
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I am confused, the only thing i registered as question in the comments was the 'plotholes things'. The comment section of the story has rather detailed listing i wrote that need changes since they make no sense to me.
Like the Nobel mare that literally openly talked about high treason etc etc.
Or to you mean the thing about Cynder literally having a weapons on her tail with enchantments breaking effect etc?
11507811
To be more specific, I'm pissed at Celestia's thinking over here;
Cynder is FINE! That's just the way she is, she isn't some disgusting mutant experiment from Resident Evil or something.
And second;
They do realized that the "perpetrator" for Cynder isn't even from Equis/Equestria in the first place. And they can't even get to the Displaced Merchant anyway.
11507853
Dragons have natural weapons. Perfectly in sword shaped and enchantment destroying swords tip tailed are not one of them...
Later they discover Cynder dark magic nature.
Thanks to Nightmare Moon changes in my story and bullshit magic reason in harlock5399 story, is it dark neutral and even feeding on other dark magic, dispose of the threat and strengthening the dragon.
That is reader knowledge. Displacement, being reborn or the Merchant existance and nature are unknown to anyone outside other Displaced.
Cynder still don't know jack about Displacement and their abilities. For all Cynder knows, she died and got reincarnated. End of story.
All the displacement and MLP stuff comes up later.
By the way, did you can recommend some Displacement Authors who don't go Son Goku levels of world ending powerlevels? I need some reasonable level of strength kind of Authors.
harlock5399 is already OP as buck... I will tone my powerleveld waaay down...
nicely done!
11507853
I mean...is that just the way she is? I mean I don't think this has ever been confirmed as fact, but at the very least the most prevalent fan theory is that Cynder would have been a wind dragon if not for the Dark Aether infusion of her unborn self. This thought comes from playable Cynder's wind powers, the fact that both its mere existence in her arsenal and how it looks when used stand so far apart from her other three breath weapons.
Sure it's the way she is thanks to being infused with Dark Aether while still in her egg, but I'm not sure how much that means in this context. Mind you I haven't read the story yet, and I'm certainly not saying you're wrong based on the blurb you quoted. Plus the fact that the author isn't answering your criticism. Whether he's deflecting or just doesn't understand somehow is beyond me.
Huh, this is one of the few stories that I recall that has 'thestral' variants of the other pony tribes and not just pegasi. It's also one of the few that features a bicorn.
It's a shame that Thestrals were pretty much forgotten by the show creators, they could have had a lot of narrative use such as supporting Luna's integration into Equestria or confronting xenophobia like with Twilight's students.
On another note, I wonder what ponies and dragons would think about the dragons from the Spyro series, many of which are depicted as being noble, heroic, wise, and cultured.
I do like the world building in that there is a somewhat of a structured nobility that exists beyond Canterlot, where you have nobles that have obligations and provide for the government in exchange for benefits.
Seems like the Apple family is the land-rich money-poor type of nobility that was pretty common during the feudal era. They own, or at least lease, quite a bit of land and produce a good deal of food that gets sold to the common people and to the government.
There are the nobles in Canterlot that don't seem to do anything other than show off and increase their own wealth but that's pretty par for the course.
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They be pretty impressed to see the peak of Dragon culture and sad to see what Barbaric and uncultured brutes they become in the Dragonlands.
I love the Thestral and always wondered why there wasn't a Night evolved race.
It simply made sense to me that the adaptive race of ponies have a variety of subraces:
- Alicorns, a mix of multible pony races with strength beyond the sum if its parts.
- Thestral, the night variation of Pegasus. Stealth instead of speed focused.
- Pegasus, the day variation of the sky focus flying equines loving speed and heights.
- Bicorn, the night variation of unicorns with focus in day and night activities and just as creative with magic weaving as unicorns. I actually consider Bicorn stronger in multicasting and magical output.
- Unicorns, the day version if magic casters with their biggest strength in regards to variation in magical attributes. Unicorns might not hit as hard as Bicorns, but ever see a Bicorn with as many magic affinities as a Unicorn?
- Earth pony, if you need hard workers, farmers that make inhospitable areas livable or someone that can kick a dragon scales into next Thursday morning.
- Thestral earthpony would come in mainly three variations:
1. Vamppony - Penalty in daytime hours and sun influences. Is basicly a Earthpony on steroids without using steroids, but blood of sapient races for various boosting attributes.
2. Fruitbatpony: Mangossssss yessssss ♡
Also they love to hunt for some meat in their diat
3. Succubuss/ Incubus: The lovers of the night.
All they want is your love and passionate contacts.
Beside the Changelings who actually feed on love, this once focus on spreading it where ever they can regardless if species.
P.s.
You hopefully noticed that many races of ponies increase the chances of the mane six plus Spike to being more than vanilla daylight ponies
Not to forget Kirin and Seaponys and...
You get the idea
11509158
Pretty sure i actually answered
11509251
I have many concepts worked out in detail already, unfortunately is my private time stretched thin with to many stories and my readers always complaining
( sometimes with good reason ) about long delays in updates.
Writing comes extremely easy to me, proofreading?
Not so mutch...
I also used the lessons of braindead monkeys in the past to make a rough system for world-building purposes that actually could work.
While dropping so many chekov guns that i never run out if weapons ever again
"Lucky you are stil alive/in one piece, buddy! Need a laugh? I just tried coh 3 and german artillery got a funny qoute
11514178
Any video link by any chance?
11514203
no, i just heard it ingame, it just came out
369 views on the very first chapter.
But over 500 in another chapter
What?
hit update by accident?
11516530
Yep... But now its out with the last minute proofreading done