Will I ever love again?
Music always tells a story, a story of tragedy, a story of love, a story of drama, and sometimes it tells the story of loss, but all songs must come to an end eventually, and is a song really real? Afterall it is all just vibrations in the air our ears interpret as sound. But, I guess if you chalk everything down to the science of it, nothing is really real, everything is just your brain interpreting things into reality, is reality all just in your head? Was this making me feel better? I looked down to the fireplace before me, then to the image within my gray hoove, it was me, and Vinyl Scratch sharing a romantic kiss under the sunset of Ponyville, that was a wonderful vacation, that kiss was the best moment of my life, yet looking back at it makes me feel so hollow, so empty. Vinyl represented my entire world, and that world so quickly burnt away, why did I think it was real, why did I fall for the world’s sick trick, making me believe that I had found true real love.
For a moment I thought I was going to lead a happy life, I thought I had finally found someone that would make me happy, someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But the world would never let that happen, I was fool to believe it would. Vinyl started out as a friend, she always has been just a friend, but one night it all changed. I always held a small crush for her, but kept quiet about, afterall I was Octavia Philharmonica, a upstanding pony who had the same social standing as the upper class and the nobility, just without all the money, Octavia Philharmonica was above filly fooling with some nightclub DJ.
Yet, that night club DJ was so nice, so pretty, and so amazing in just every way, I think I had known that to a degree when I chose her to be my roommate. I remember never really wanting a roommate, but I had to pay the rent somehow. I always planned on keeping my feelings private, I really did, I hopped, no I prayed that they would just fade away, so I can continue my life climbing the social ladder uninterrupted by things like love and beauty. I was a fool then, but I guess no more of a fool then I am now.
One day, Vinyl learned how to feel what I was feeling, at the time I thought she had picked up some subtle que I had accidently let slip, perhaps she saw me staring longly into those deep pretty red eyes. I never got many chances to see her eyes, she always wore those glasses, it is a damn shame as well, I wish she had shown her eyes more maybe then I would’ve known.
One day, it all happened, nearly all at once. It started as a joke, something along the lines of ‘the day I go to a nightclub will be the day I admit my secret undying love for you.’
Then it morphed into casual flirting. ‘Oh really, well out of all the mares that I would like to love, I think you would be on the top of my list.’
It soon transitioned into a hug, then a kiss, at the end of the day our bodies and souls had connected, and I remember vividly saying, ‘I love you Vinyl Scratch.’
Then she said it back, ‘I love you too Tavi’ it was everything I ever wanted, and she knew that, of course she knew that, I should've known that.
What I had felt for that Vinyl Scratch, had morphed into something more than just a small crush. It had bloomed into a beautiful red rose, we could talk for hours on end and we would never run out of things to talk about, she felt just so perfect, she had become just so perfect. She always knew the perfect thing to say, she always knew exactly how I was feeling, she simply was able to read my mind, and play me like a gray little cello.
I enjoyed the tune she played with me, I wonder if she did too? Or was it all just a lie, maybe it wasn't, or maybe my mind is playing a trick, and she never loved me… no one will ever love me, why did I think anypony would love some pathetic gray fool.
I felt a tear slowly run down my face, the wet fur the water left behind was irritating, the fur became sticky and wet, sticking tightly to the skin as it continued its path down my face. I hated it when tears did that, I hated it just so much.
I traveled Equestria with that Vinyl. We saw the long stretching rose fields of Ponyville, the busy city of Los Pegasus, and the beautiful mix of culture and romance on the streets of Manehattan. I was all so surreal, I felt alive then, more alive then I had ever felt before, Vinyl had completed me. If she left I knew she would take a piece of me with her. Yesterday was supposed to be the greatest day of my life. When I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was Vinyl’s smiling face, it was a different smile this time, almost a sad smile. The sky was pink then, I don’t remember why, I don’t really care why anymore. I was supposed to perform at some massive fancy shmancy royal wedding that day, but Vinyl had strongly insisted I took the day off. She walked me to the most beautiful garden in Canterlot, and then, knelt down in front of me, in one hand she pulled out the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen before, in the other she held out a bottle of wine. She told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, and that we will open the wine on our weddings night. I truly never felt happier, it felt like the greatest thing to ever happen to me, I had found true love, and I was going to be with it till I passed on and beyond. I said yes, Vinyl smiled, she had expected me to say yes. I wonder if she had lied when she proposed to me, or was it all true, I guess I will never know.
The tear stain left in my fur began to curl up, growing ridged and uncomfortable, I looked up on top of the fireplace, there stood a bottle of wine, the one that Vinyl had given to me only just yesterday, it now felt like an eternity ago, I recalled her sweet voice telling me we would open it on our wedding night; I now know she was lying then, of course she was. I reached up to grab the bottle, I didn't bother grabbing a wine glass with it, I just opened up the cap, and lifted the finish right to my mouth, I let the expensive wine freely flow down my throat.
She walked me home after I said yes, led me back into our apartment, and led me into the only windowless room in our Canterlot apartment, the bathroom. She told me to wait in there, while she prepared for a big surprise, honestly I thought it was a sex thing, silly me, silly Octavia. I trusted her when she locked the bathroom door behind me, I trusted her when I heard her dragging a chair to the bathroom door, I trusted her when I heard her break the key in the lock of the front door, I trusted her when I heard her leave the apartment. I trusted her when I heard the distant screaming outside, and I trusted her when everything went silent afterwards.
Fire ponies broke me out of the bathroom the next day, it was quite a surprise to see a massive fire ax smash right through the bathroom door so suddenly. When I saw the fire ponies breaking in I screamed for Vinyl, she was not there. Yet I did not cry, I was still waiting for that surprise, I honestly believed Vinyl was really still setting up a surprise for me. I had trusted her completely, I was a idiot then, I still am a fucking idiot.
I finally finished the bottle entirely, and then dropped it to the floor, it did not smash, I wanted it too, but it did not. I felt another tear beginning to form in my eye, I peered back down onto the image, me and Vinyl, in that field, everything felt so perfect then, why did it all have to go so wrong, why couldn't the lie had just lasted forever, why.
I remember seeing Vinyl again later that day, she looked so disheveled, covered in a blanket as guard ponies helped her along with many other survivors, I remember her running to me yelling ‘Tavi’ in the most relieved tone possible, I wanted to cry out in joy then, I wanted to yell out relief, I wanted to kiss her then and there. I didn't do any of that, I just stood there in confusion, something was off about Vinyl, but I simply could not put my hoove on what exactly was wrong. Something was just wrong, something was so horribly wrong, I could feel it as my gut clenched.
Vinyl ran up to me, and gave me a hug, I felt her wet tears stream down my shoulder, I did not react, I didn't even hug her back.
Then she said it, ‘Tavi, I missed you so much over the last couple months, the guard pony said I was gone for half a year, I am so happ-’, she kept talking. I don't remember what else she said. A sharp knife had gone right through my heart, and then twisted it's horrible blade around.
Vinyl’s eyes were never red, I don’t know why I thought they were, they were always a rosy purple, I don’t know why I never realized the change. I found the note the other Vinyl had left for me later that day, it laid right next to the wine bottle we were supposed to open up at our wedding, it had only three words on it, ‘I am sorry.’
I peered down to the image of me and ‘Vinyl’ once again, another tear streamed down my face, I felt a large weight in my stomach pull me down to the floor. One tear soon turned into two, and then into three, soon I had quickly become a sobbing mess on the floor. The fireplace in front of me was so warm, yet I still felt so cold, I was freezing, why can’t I feel warm? Will I ever feel warm again?
I heard a knock on the door of my room, I did not bother to look at it.
“Tavi.. I uhh, don’t know what happened between you and that changeling pretending to be me, but, uhhh, I just wanted to say I am sorry.”
I didn't say anything, she wouldn't understand anyways, why is she even saying sorry, if anything I should be sorry, I should have known she was replaced, but instead I decided to believe a lie, a stupid stupid lie. Why am I so stupid, why I am so pathetic, why am I so unlovable, I deserve this, I am just a dumb stupid pony who deserves all of this, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself so much, I hate mysel-.
“Tavi… if it makes you feel any better, know that you will always be my best friend, and, if you want to talk, you are free to do so.”
Hearing her say the word friend interrupted my thoughts, it felt like getting stabbed in the stomach, by a million needles. Yet each stabbing needle had sent just a little warmth into my body, it hurt so much, yet I recaptured just a little bit of warmth again.
“I am… going to let myself in Tavi.. if that's okay with you…”
I didn’t say anything
“If you say nothing, I will take that as a yes”
I didn’t say anything
The door behind me creaked open slowly, letting the artificial light from the rest of the house wash into the room. I heard Vinyl shut the door behind me snuffing out the artificial light and allowing the fire’s light to take over once again, I heard the clopping of her hoovesteps slowly growing louder as she approached my fallen form on the floor.
“Tavi.. your room is a mess”
It was supposed to be our room
I heard her stop right before me, I could feel her gaze peer down at my slumped form laying flat on the floor, and then, her gaze slowly moved towards the image in my right hoof. I could feel her frown, and then sigh,
“How about this, I can sleep with you tonight, will that make you feel better?” Vinyl’s presence made me feel warm again, it may not have been the same Vinyl that I had loved, but, it was still Vinyl, and at least, she was still my friend.
I nodded just barely, but she still noticed. I felt her hooves slowly stroke my back, she then helped me stand back up and then guide me back to my bed. I looked to the floor as she did this, I didn’t want to look at her face, I was not ready yet. We left the image and empty bottle behind us on the floor next to the fireplace.
We both laid down on the same bed once again, but I knew this was different, we were not going to share any sexual or romantic moment, this was a different Vinyl, this was the real Vinyl, she was just trying to comfort me as a friend. I had initially turned away from her in the bed, but she slowly turned me over, seeing her face again, it hurt so much. I felt the tears return to my face, and Vinyl pulled me into a hug. I cried into her shoulder all night, I guess that's what friends are for. Slowly but surely as I cried for longer and longer my eyes grew heavier and heavier, as the grips of sleep began to finally pull me away from my tears, and into the world of darkness, I felt warm again, in Vinyl’s friendly embrace.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
When my eyes opened once again, I saw Vinyl was still there, she had stayed with me all night. She was still asleep next to me, I was happy she stayed by my side all night, it made me feel better. I knew I would never have the same type of relationship I had with the other Vinyl again, but, at least she will always be a friend by my side, and I think I can start to accept that, I turned away from Vinly’s sleeping face, and towards the bedside, the small alarm clock on the bedside read 11:23 AM, had I really been asleep that long, I must be beginning to adopting Vinyl’s sleeping schedule. I sat up in the bed, and looked around the room, had Vinyl woken up and cleaned up the place, before going back to sleep?
I looked back down at Vinyl, she was in the same position she was when we fell asleep, and I knew Vinyl was not one to go back to sleep after waking up, something was wrong, I could feel something was up, my gaze slowly, turned towards the fireplace, it was burnt out by now, something was on top of the fireplace.
Oh my Celestia, it was up there.
A single bottle of wine, the same bottle of wine which was once on the floor, now refilled and placed back to its former position. My heart dropped, as it was filled with a sense of both fear and excitement.
Then I heard a knock on the front door.
Thanks for reading this fic 
This fic takes place right after the events of A Canterlot Wedding
This story will be the second fan fic I ever published!
Same as the last one, you are free to leave any criticism of my writing in the comments
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the changeling comes back, to deal with loose ends or to continue the romance that was going on
who know? (:
It was a good read. It could use a sequel/another chapter to show what happened next
.
Cool idea! It really is a tragic story, and I'd love to see it continue. Seeing Octavia get to know the real Vinyl and facing the old "Vinyl" for who she is. LOVE IT!
I remember a fic with a similar idea from way back but it was with Lyra and BonBon. I'll have to see if I can find it again.
Woah! During the first section, I thought this was going to be a standard mental issues or suicide story (... I had not observed the tags)
At least, though, due to not looking at the tags, the twist was quite an exciting surprise! Great work at taking the structure of a standard story and placing it into a nonstandard application directly tied to an episode of the series 
11447937
Do let me know if you find that fic :D
11447425
Perhapsss, hehe hahaha
11447977
Thanks for the feedback, I was worried the first-person perspective did not work here, I was considering doing it in third person.
11447898
Probably not anytime soon, but one day I might make a sequel, depends on if I get a good idea for it or not
Huh. That certainly was an interesting take on the aftermath of the Invasion and its consequences. (And also a deftly adroit handling of the old "red eyed Vinyl" versus "cerise eyed Vinyl" thing from past seasons)
Me, personally I did not care much for that last bit of the ending with the cliffhanger. IMHO it cheapened and distracted from an otherwise very compelling conundrum; how can Octavia repair and restore her relationship with Vinyl now that "Vinyl" is gone?
11448036
Being the hopelessly romantic optimist, I see something like 50 First Dates film in their future where Vinyl re-woos Octavia and they fall in love all over again, this time for real. (Possibly with flashback scenes contrasting Vinyl's selfless, wholesome love with "Vinyl's" lustful manipulations taking Octavia further than the really wanted to go and kept her longer than she wanted to stay when it came to things like physical intimacy and lustful intercourse...)
At any rate, this was an enjoyable little snapshot of the Invasion aftermath, though one thing I was not too clear on (spolier'd for key plot element): Octavia proposed to (and married) the real Vinyl approximately 6 months ago, but has been living with changebug replacement Vinyl for the last 6 months, correct?. I suppose it does not really matter in the context of this one-shot story, but I was curious as to how much of their relationship has been reset now.
Thanks for the story!
11447898
Agreed
11448109
Okay
My intention when writing this was that the real Vinyl never held any feelings/ was too nervous to admit their feelings to Octavia, depending on the readers interpretation, re reading the text I see where I messed up.
When I wrote 6-month anniversary, I meant 6-month anniversary since the kiss, and them becoming 'Marefriends', the changeling purposed to Octavia the day of the invasion, after which it proceeded to lock Octavia in the bathroom so she would survive the invasion, whether it did this because it truly loved Octavia, or it wanted to secure its food source from other changelings is also up to your interpretation. The marriage proposal by the Changeling could go both ways, either it was doing so to suck as many emotions as possible from Octavia before the invasion, or it is a hopeless romantic.
The Fake Vinyl/Changeling detected Octavia's secret feelings for Vinyl when it replaced the real Vinyl, and proceeded to exploit it, the real Vinyl was just friends with Octavia, and the crush was one sided. I.E why the start of the relationship with 'Vinyl' perfectly coincidences with the time frame Vinyl has been gone, half a year.
In other words, the relationship is set extremely far back, I made some edits to the text to make that more clear
whether or not it can recover back to the ship is up to your own imagination, perhaps Octavia will eventually have a relationship with the real Vinyl, it's definitely not a secret that Octavia has feelings for her anymore.
On the ending, in hindsight it is a wittle cheap, I will admit that, but I like my cliffhangers too much.
Anyways thanks for the response, it was pretty helpful
11448131
Ouch.
That certainly makes me wish all the more for a 50 First Dates style follow-up where Octavia works to woo Vinyl all over again...
"Fight for her!", I want to say. "Rage against what was stolen away from you! Show Vinyl that she is worth it!"
Veering a bit into personal headcanon, but I would see "Vinyl" operating out of a sort of enlightened self interest mutualism. After all, it is in "Vinyl's" best interest to keep Octavia as happy and content as possible. It could also have a much darker side as well; "Vinyl" is literally the best thing Octavia (or at least her id) could want (want, not necessarily need). Every lustful fantasy, every wanton desire, she would already know, possibly before Octavia herself was even aware of them. We already see a bit of this with Octavia reminiscing on how "Vinyl" always knew the perfect thing to say, always knew how Octavia was feeling, was able to play her like a "little grey cello"...
I wonder if Octavia is going to have to deal with a stunted interpersonal intelligence now after her life with "Vinyl"?
Why worry about interpersonal communication when your partner is an empath and knows you better than you know yourself? Why bother maturing out of damaging, unrealistic fantasies when your partner can fulfil them (or at least recognise them and manipulate them to something more tractable)? Kind of like making blue cheese I suppose; the blue mould makes it tastier for consumption for us humans, but in the process the cheese is rotted through from the inside out...
(sorry for the rambling headcanon stuff)
Such a short little one-shot, but definitely got a rise out of me (in a good way I suppose)
Back more on topic, I did re-read the updated chapter and, yes, it did make the past event more clear as to what happened...
Interesting story; unfortunately open/cliffhanger endings are a pet peeve of mine... ("Frodo stood on the edge of Mt. Doom, warring with himself to throw in the One Ring or to succumb to its terrible temptation. Suddenly he grimaced - he had decided; he knew what he would do. The End.")
But besides that I rather liked the story.
(My headcanon ending is that the infiltrator really fell in love with Tavi, and after some heartrending apologies they get together and live on happily. The end.)
11448036
Got it; take your time. And just in case... I didn't mean to push or anything. It's just the cliffhanger at the end, well... left us hanging and craving for more
11448131
Dude you basically wrote in its all been a dream ending with that thing like something happened that caused her to have a nightmare about the incident and with the bottle back up on the mantle and vinyl in the same position no she had been in when she fell asleep and her room being clean this implies that what had happened with Octavia getting locked in her bathroom and then in her house was a nightmare
11451524
I can assure you that it is not a dream
Although I will admit that the ending could use some work
11452009
Well that's it okay then it does seem kind of like a nightmare with the whole referencing how vinyl was laying next to Octavia and all that if you want to sound a little different mention that there's a new note next to the bottle of wine yes that would just be adding another detail but make this note have something of a seal on it like chrysalis's actual crown seal you know (it really be the only thing that would make sense that Octavia wouldn't know to indicate that yes this is all happening in that know what happened before wasn't a dream and she wasn't waking up beside vinyl scratch weeks after the actual event happened and that she had a nightmare of the day right after the event.)
This story is the goat omg
11480564
Aw thanks :D
11480663
Do you do commissions?
11482661
not right now, I am very busy,
I am working on a pretty big project, but feel free to send something to me if you want, I might get to it eventually if I like the idea