Never Split the Party

M/M Shipping Contest!77 stories ·164 members

Discord has had a long and interesting life, especially since the Draconequus realizes he's hopelessly in love with his Ogres and Oubliettes party members, try as he might to deny it.

Short, rough entry for the M/M Shipping Contest 2022! Discord/Adult Spike/Big Mac poly fluff. Rated Teen with appropriate tag for some suggestive humor, but nothing happens "on screen." AU, for obvious reasons.

(Credit for cover image - Spike's "Cutie Mark" by MidnightShimmer_the_Unicorn on MLPForums, Discord's "Cutie Mark" by RAGErER on DA, Big Mac's was found on Derpibooru, artist not credited. I just threw them together for a "Cover Image.")

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Nebbie

Nebbie #1 · Nov 21st, 2022 · 1 · 4 ·

This was okay, but I feel rather lied to by the tagging. Profanity? Where? Death? Not on any level beyond what FiM does. Sex? What, for a sexy apron? Teen? For...what? Unless I'm really missing something, this fic could be E-rated, and that's a shame, because I really hoped for good spicy moments when I saw those tags.

Vivid Syntax

Vivid Syntax #2 · Dec 7th, 2022 · 1 · 1 ·

This was cute. I liked the way you bookended it with the frame story that really set the stage for everything else. A few of the transitions were choppy, but overall the story was an enjoyable read. Nice work!

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #3 · Feb 13th, 2023 · · 1 ·

And … then … they … kissed…
*BAM! “DISCORD!” a voice called.

ahaha, of course Discord writes shipfics about very mundane human characters living generic and mundane lives, love it!

Spike blushed and snatched his sketches back. “Well, maybe a little. I mean, he’s not a colt anymore, and I wanted to emphasize that!”

hehe, very self-insert!

“Who’s cooking the anniversary breakfast?”
“You can summon it up just by thinking about it,” Spike pointed out.
“But I’m doing dinner this year!” Discord protested.

relationship dynamics sure are different when one half is an omnipotent deity of some sort

While knives couldn’t begin to make a dent in his scales, he didn’t like getting spat on by angry grease from vengeful pig ghosts (Applejack had told him that when he was young… For being the Element of Honesty, that mare told great tall tales…) so he went to get an apron.

aww love this bit of Applejack lore

Spike caught a glimpse of his reflection in a hanging pot and smirked, treating himself to a flex show. “Looking good, Spike. Looking real good…”

Spike behavior

He began to quickly slice some bananas and added grapes but stopped when he picked up a large red Mcintosh apple. He just stared at the fruit for a few minutes before he managed to neatly slice it, wincing with each cut.

ooh why the wincing? a reminder of Big Mac?

In the millennia in which he’d existed, Discord hadn’t quite figured out traditions. He understood the basic principle, but doing the same thing over and over again, often on the same date or in the same season felt stifling to him. Another example of ponies and other creatures trying to chop an incomprehensible universe up into comprehensible bite-sized pieces they could stomach. The thought made his stomach turn. Out There was more vast then they could comprehend! It wasn’t safe, but it was glorious! An overwhelming symphony of the cosmic dance of creation, destruction, and chaos!

great glimpse into how Discord views the world here!

As Discord was treated to a mental film reel of his biggest flops, he floated back down to the floor and packed a picnic basket. Spike hovered nearby, only offering a gentle hum of reassurance or a helping claw where needed.

aww Discord’s just like me fr

Spike then untied his apron he was wearing and laid it down to be washed later, chuckling at the small, needy whine that escaped Discord as he did so. Honestly, it was like being married to a cat in a lot of ways…

aww that is exactly how Discord would be

Octavia struck her head out of her cottage. It was a testament to how far he had come that she didn't scream at the sight of him. “Discord?” she asked. It was obvious that she’d been crying. That was cause for alarm.
“What in the name of the Hasbro overlords is going on here?!” Discord asked.
Octavia sniffled. “You haven’t heard? It’s Spike. He’s … dead.”

well that certainly raises a lot of questions! interesting choice of Octavia being the one to break the news

Discord nodded. “I can. I don’t need to sleep or eat; I just enjoy it. I … want to be there, when he wakes up. To make sure he knows he’s OK.” Discord’s voice was strained.
A few emotions quickly crossed Big Mac’s face as he mulled it over, before he simply nodded and proclaimed, “Eeyup.” The red stallion walked away, but this wasn’t the end of it.

and oof, starting to piece together what might have happened

Twilight Sparkle came down the next day, wracked with guilt. “I thought he was dead,” she sobbed. “I’m so glad he isn’t, but … I buried him alive!” she said with horror. “I should have known it was a Dragon Sleep, I should have tested more. But all the tests we performed said he was…”

augh poor Twilight, i can just imagine her guilt over this

“Oh, Twilight, it’s rude to ask a mare her age!” Discord cried in mock horror, turning into a drop-dead gorgeous unicorn mare.

hehe, do kind of want to see this

“Reader, I married him,” Discord concluded, shutting the book. “Hmph. Not my favorite novel, but better than a lot of the Romance today. Do you like romance? I’m sure you do. You probably have a secret stash in your room. … Oooh, that embarrassed silence says yes!”

ah the meta layers, itself very Discord

Big Mac nodded. He then grinned. “Ya know, readin’ to him like that? … Yer pretty cute.”
That word sent a shock up Discord’s body from the tip of his tail to his ears and his eyes widened as it echoed in his mind. Cute cute cute…

hoowee

Discord watched Big Mac walk away, noting the swing of his hips. He turned to the still-sleeping Spike stretched out on the bed Discord had made for him. “This goes to the grave, but I’m way past crush here. Help?”
Spike didn’t answer.

augh that is so sad that Spike is not awake for this!

“Sheesh, I just took a nap, you guys are acting like I died or something!” Discord and Big Mac burst out laughing at that. “What’d I say?!”
Discord wiped away a tear. “We’ve got a lot to tell you…”

and oof, here i was thinking that Big Mac would get old and die before Spike woke up and all this would be so full of pathos

“Eeyup,” Big Mac summed up. He glanced at Spike. “Sorry, Partner, Ah’ve got a rare medical condition. Every time Ah DM a session, one of ma cousins dies.”

ahahaha that is great

“Sorry, sorry,” Big Mac chuckled. “Ya want to know what Ah get up to in Manehatten?” Discord nodded. “Not a thing,” Big Mac said with an evil grin. He switched to a falsetto, “But rumors do tell, my dear sir, of a lovely red mare by the name of Orchard Blossom wooing the hearts and minds of many a poor, lonely stallion on the drag circuit.”

aww, a much better point for that particular episode to end on!

“Reader, I married them,” Discord mused.

nice callback!

The three of them had gotten into a scuffle that nearly broke Ponyville over who was proposing to who first. The chewing out the three of them had received … Totally worth it.

hehe, this totally feels like an episode plot from the show

Big Mac was the protective older brother in his family, but it didn’t need to be said that if Discord ever hurt him, the Apple Family would have a new Draconequus skin rug in the living room.

i mean if anymortal could figure out how to do this it would be Applejack

“The fact that Ponies even have cars, and phones, and internet is sometimes too much,” Discord griped. “But … time.”

so true *stares at G5*

Spike wrapped around Discord and hugged him as the Draconequus sobbed. “It’s not fair,” Discord whispered.
“No, but … would you change it? If you could?”
“No. He’d kill me,” Discord said with a chuckle.
“Eeyup. He’s entitled to his death.” Discord nodded.

and oof.

Big Mac nodded. “Can ah make a request?” They both nodded. “You’ll both outlive me.” Discord opened his mouth to protest that. “Ah don’t want either of ya to mess with ma lifespan!” Big Mac shouted, stomping a hoof. “Ah’m happy with the time Ah’ve got!” He calmed down. “But … when Ah do die, please burry me here. And use me to make a tree. Ah’d want to know ma last act was helping something new to grow.”

of course Big Mac would have this attitude towards death, as sad as it is for his husbands…

there were a lot of great lines and fun ideas in this, and the tragic consequences of a mixed-mortality relationship is always great material. the way it was foreshadowed and hinted at through the initial slice-of-life pieces (like the bit about the cooking!) was some good technique. thank you for writing!

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