Epilogue
“And so the jerk says that what I make isn’t ‘real music,’” said Vinyl. “What does that even mean?”
“I take it to mean that your acquaintance is an awfully pretentious pony,” Octavia replied. They were sitting at their usual table in the coffee shop at that usual time when Octavia had scheduled for coffee. She found herself looking towards the door, though. Frederic was usually supposed to come around now, and she was worried about him.
“Y’know, it’s like,” Vinyl said, “okay, I don’t know about all the music stuff you know about. And you don’t know all the music stuff I know about.”
“I’ll have to admit that.”
“But the thing is, we’re smart enough to know this, and so we’re also smart enough to not open our big dumb mouths. This guy? He doesn’t.”
The door opened, sounding the chime, and Octavia looked to see Frederic enter. He didn’t walk the same way he usually did. He seemed a little rattled, a little nervous, as though he were unsure of what he was doing. Oddly enough, he also had his bag with him. He went to the counter and ordered himself a coffee and a croissant, before approaching their table.
“Hi,” he said. “Nice to see you.”
“Heya,” said Vinyl. “Y’know, I should learn to play keyboard better. I mean, all I can do is plunk out a tune.”
“Are you okay?” Octavia asked. “You seemed a bit...”
“I’ll be fine,” said Frederic. “It’s just I wanted to say...”
“Hey, coffee!” said Ritardando as he trotted up to the counter. “...I don’t really like coffee. Can I have juice instead?”
Vinyl raised an eyebrow at the odd basso.
“Thanks!” said Ritardando, before trotting over to Frederic with a juicebox in his mouth.
“This a friend of yours?” asked Octavia.
“Hhh-hh!” mumbled Ritardando through his juice box. Realizing how silly he appeared, he set the box down. “Yeah! Freddy is buying me a train ticket! And then he’s coming with me!”
“What?” asked both mares simultaneously.
“I...” said Frederic. “I’m leaving. Just for a little, though. Ritardando said he was leaving town and, well, I think I should be outside Canterlot. Just for a while. I’ll get on the train and then I’ll come back later.”
“Heh. Pretty neat,” said Vinyl. “Didn’t think you’d be all spontaneous like that.”
“But when will you be back?” asked Octavia.
“I don’t know,” said Frederic. “I probably won’t be very long. Just until I’ve had some time to think.”
“Welp, gotta go!” piped Ritardando.
“Goodbye, Octavia.”
“Goodbye, Frederic.”
“Well, see ya,” said Vinyl.
The two mares watched as the two stallions walked out of the coffee shop.
“Dude,” said Vinyl. “What’s up with him?”
“I’m not sure,” said Octavia. “I think something happened to him, and it broke him a little. I think he’s a little scared.”
“Eesh...” Vinyl muttered.
“But I think that’s life,” Octavia concluded. “He’ll be alright. He just needs some time.”
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NO. Thats not life octavia! (ノಠ_ಠ)ノ┻━┻ *flips tables*
Ooooh...
I didn't have any real problems with the ending, but... if you are going to do an epilogue, this is how you should do it. Wonderfully done.
Now that was much less depressing, and probably a good thing for Freddie to do. Sometimes what you really need is a vacation.
Thus ends one of my favorite fics ever.. Poor Fredric, hopefully the guy can work himself out of this spiraling depression he's been falling into. sigh..
Oh well, great job! I completely love this fic
Cake, meet cherry. I'm kind of sad you didn't leave the ballsy ending, but this works too. Great job on this fic overall, thanks for writing this.
Better. It seemed a bit forced near the end, but nothing that really detracts from it--this is a much more definitive ending.
Gotta agree with boomchka. I know everyone wanted a more concrete ending but I liked it. It was how you wanted to end it and it fit with story perfectly. This is a nice epilogue but unnecessary. (I do like how he says goodbye and its possibly just me but he isnt coming back is he? Actually don't answer that. Best to be vague)
I liked It but it didnt need it I think.....if thats okay with you
I have to say, given the fact that we know so little about a background pony pianist make for a real good story. I had that idea, in fact.
Much to my chagrin when I read this story, my premise for a story I'm currently writing that will go up soon also revolves around Horseshoepin lamenting over the fact that he can never be with Octavia.
SO then I was Like:
i1189.photobucket.com/albums/z424/ZyconX/Ragequitface.jpg
But joking aside, I do like this story.
For some reason the epilogue makes me think: MOAR!
If it's finished, then it's finished, great job!
But how does Octavia REALLY feel about it?? ARRGGGGG!!!!!!!
I read this entire piece hearing this, making it all even more pleasurable:
Zequinha de Abreu - Branca
A nice piano tune... definitely the best Brazil has to offer in 'classical' music.
To me, this is the most perfect epilogue you could've given this story. For the people who don't like it, here's a little something;
"Every picture tells us a story. Sometimes we don't like the ending... sometimes we don't understand it."
*sigh* This still hardly feels like an ending. I want to know what happens NEXT!
I don't want it to end.
Oh well, great fic; it's your story and your ending. It was great every step of the way.
The life of a Friendzoned is not an easy one.
there needs to be a freaking sequel ASAP
fantastic. That is what this is.
And I'm unsure if I liked the real ending or the epilogue better. The real ending was just kind of cool, but the epilogue actually provided resolution.
Scratch that, the epilogue is better. Character development over stagnation
351330 Nah, he needs an OC or Octavia, besides the only Mane 6 character he could possibly work with is either Rarity or Fluttershy
At the last chapter, I was all ALL CAPS RAGE!!!!1!11!ONE
Then I read the epiloge and I was all SECOND STORY ABOUT TRAVEL! I DEMAND ONE!
Now i just need MOAR!
I like this ending better much than the last, abrupt one.
thank you
Personally, I prefer this epilouge. Thank you, Mister Writer, for it.
I pray for more. Not of this story, perhaps, but those like it. Well writen, short pieces that have that little spark that make you remember them. Works of art that stand out from the normal crowd, much like Fredric himself. Stories that make me want to do better.
And the most impressive thing about this? You managed to craft this masterpiece from My Little Pony.
-The Librarian
Over already? Nuuuuuuuuu D=
That said I think the ending was perfectly-timed. It was short, concise, but it was still VERY emotional. I also liked that while it was sad - you really felt for Frederic, wanted him to be happy, it wasn't reduce-you-to-tears sad, more just tugs-at-the-heartstrings sad. I also like that it had a sad, or perhaps just ambiguous ending - it leaves room for the reader to think, "What if?", rather than a concrete sense of closure which doesn't leave much to the imagination (indeed, I can think of a couple of stories that were REALLY going well which were ruined by their almost "THE END, GOODBYE" sort of endings).
Wonderful story, well done!
....... I get the feeling that there's gonna be a sequel to this. Like a journey thing about Frederic discovering...stuff. Yeah
Fredric was so emotionally callous that he didn't feel the need to profess his love until it was to late
but in the end he goes on a journey to find himself so it's ok
I.....huh....I'm okay with this
Very nice story, interesting way to end it.
I guess it seemed a bit abrupt. I liked Frederick, I really admired Frederic's stoicness and I have the same dislike of love triangles as he does. So I'm divided on how I feel about the end. In his breakdown at last chapter, he seemed to lose the strength of character he had built up. But, I guess it only shows the weakness of a normal human/pony. As much as I'd like to see him endure it like a boss, truth is no normal (background even) pony could handle so much dissappointment after dissappointment. Which is why I was hoping he'd have something to show for it at the end. But what we are left with is another hope. And I hope it doesn't let him down. Sequel plz
?
348556
First and foremost, very well done. While people may think the ending is bleak, it offers a good lesson towards the overall theme of the story: sometimes, life can collapse and leave you taking collateral damages. But in the end, you're still alive, and you still have what you love. That's a great lesson to be learned, and something we should all derive from the story.
Now, I know I'm going to seem a fool for saying this, but there were some portions of the story which I found lacking. The first example of that is the passage in which Ritardando joins Frederic and Ovation during the post-audition walk. The lyrics “And if it wasn’t for me, then where would you be, miss DJ Pon-3?" show up, and it's very unclear as to who is singing them and that they are actually a hallucination. Another instance is the beginning of the epilogue. While it can be derived that Octavia and Vinyl are talking about the violinist, it is still rather unclear. The ending also seemed to fall flat. The lesson learned was there, but it lacked luster. Other than his meltdown, it just seemed like any day at home for Freddy. Practicing piano with disheartened hooves is just a routine practice for him, I would imagine. Thus, the ending is just... there. Nothing special about it. Until the epilogue, that is. The epilogue is a-ok.
All this said, I would be more than happy to offer services as an editor. It's your choice, but I'd be glad to help.
Thanks once again for writing this beautiful story. I look forward to the sequel.
Favorite'd. Thumbs up'd.
No happy ending. (ノಠ_ಠ)ノ┻━┻
Still, that's what made this story great in its own, tragic way. You are an incredible author sir, and I eagerly await any other story you might feel the need to type out.
87036 Your name... The best.
Computer, Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
~Jack
While there is truth in this story, in that sometimes we can't get what we want and DESERVE, I really, <i>really</i> wanted Frederick to end up with Octavia. Vinyl cheated on her - and I can't figure out how they'd like each other in the first place - and Frederick would never do such a thing. Now I have to go search for a fanfic where they're all happy 'n shtuff.
354190
I think that's the point of the story. Love isn't always logical and the best person doesn't necessarily win.
Personally, I loved this story. A quick read, but had a lot of meaning.
Hey Billy.
Sequel~
I had this realization just now
I think why I like this story so much despite it's tragic overtone is that I really do identify with your portrayal of Frederic. I've been hit by dissapointment so much when it comes to my creative projects that desptie being told I'm good at what I try to do I've inevitably set myself into a mindset where I constantly beat myself down and keep my hopes as low as possible if around at all. I've stopped trying to be optimistic because I've been hit with dissappointment a lot so I'm often just depressed about my own lack of skill or about how I'm just a pretender amoung true artists.
So yeah, that's why I like this story so much because I identify so strongly with Frederic, as much as I don't like sad endings to most stories here with a protagonist who I share at least an emotional mindset with I can understand how he feels and what he must be going through.
As for the apparent lack fo closure, in all honesty that was fine by me. Life rarely gets closure and I've never experienced that feeling myself.
Thank you.
354190
If you mean Fred and Octavia, I tried my hand at that recently, it should be approved sometime today, I hope.
357629
You mean you're writing a happy fanfic about Frederick and Octavia?
'Twould be fantastic!
358264
Thanks, it's kinda cheesy and simple but it should get through the submission queue today.
And also.....
So sing us a song, you're the piano man!
Sing us a song tonight!
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody!
And you've got us feelin' alright!
359783
Hey, cheesy doesn't mean poorly written. Sometimes, I'm in the mood for cheesy.
That didn't turn up on the front page of my tracking list =(
So, let us put a Résumé together.
This story is depressing. But I'd anything, it is the closest story to the tag Slice of Life, well done.
I like how Frederic tries get everything out of his head by giving it some time, that proves that he grew in the small timespan of the story. The whole time of the story he is a rigid character, he falls back into old manners and antics, but in the last two chapters he develops incredibly. Would you go a few weeks back in time and tell him that he fell for Octavia and decided to go outside of Canterlot, he would've declared you for insane. But the best thing about the development is that It is smooth and barely noticeable.
Very well done.
Sorry for double posting, but I don't know if he'll actually get a notification if I only update my earlier post.
352830
I think you missed the point of this story. Of course it was a hallucination. Doubting that is completely beside the point. This story is not about solving the problems of Frederic. It is a Slice of Life, a slice of Frederic's life, but everybody here can relate to it. The author did not want to solve it. He wanted to show the process of overcoming problems. If it wasn't for the used background ponies and the topic love, this would be the perfect episode to show kids how to grow out of something. (Feeling Pinkie Keen)
I'd like to go here on a rant, but unfortunately I have to go to a seven hours long rehearsal. Yay.
Kinda one of those endings that fits... but isn't quite the ending you were hoping for, is it?
Honestly though... it's hardly an end at all. Feels like a segue more than an end (and lo, a new spinoff series, "The Adventures of Fred and Ritard", was born) since we've got quite a bit of closure simply lacking. I dunno quite what to be honest... maybe it would have been nice to see Fred struggling with his stoic nature or something. Seems to start that in the ending chapter, but if he has some cracks in that facade, we're not going to get to see them splinter here.
Can't even say I wanted a happy ending or anything... perhaps just a more meaningful one. Think I was expecting something akin to Babylon Revisited or something (I have no idea why I keep drawing comparisons with you and Fitzgerald... honestly), perhaps just based on the mood of the piece... but the ending did feel somewhat lacking.
Overall though, it was a fairly solid story. Think there was the odd moment where the main character was thoroughly upstaged by some of the minor characters, but otherwise it felt well-focused and put together. Suppose I can't hold my wanting more against you... after all, sequels happen for a reason, right?
~Lammy (who needs to stop reviewing in the early AM)
Random thing of note:
“Heya,” said Vinyl. “Y’know, I should learn to play keyboard better. I mean, all I can do is plunk out a tune.”
Oh how awkward and interesting this situation could have been.
343910
Why must you break the website? That's just... mean. *pat-pats the poor website*
361582 hay, I always read on my iPod, and that exact song came on as I was finishing the last chapter and starting the epilogue
364107
wut
367872 ... What song?
370787
"Piano Man," by Billy Joel. It's the song that Vinyl quotes. The additional tags on EqD are also a reference to the song.
Again: Hmm.
Nah, kidding. This serves as a very nice wrap-up to a good story. It's still a bit too depressing for my taste, but that's not the story's (or the author's) fault, but mine. Sometimes a little bit of distance is all it takes to see things in perspective. Sometimes you don't want to deal with what you lost (or never gained in the first place) on a daily basis. If that's movin' up, then he's movin' out. (Sorry, couldn't resist.
)
371040 Ah... I thought you were referring to a song I talked about, which was weird, considering I didn't talk about any.
Ending too abrupt. The story could've gotten A LOT longer before ending. It is a waste of the potential. Loved the story.
Well... this was depressing...
Do more work, have him confess his feeling. Rejected or not, he could move on and find another mare.
363804
Don't worry, I got the point of the story completely. I never said I was upset about Freddy not getting the girl. And I also never said I doubted that the referenced scene was a hallucination. Just that the manner in which it was written left some confusion. As for the "Slice of Life," yes, it is obviously a slice of life. No doubt. However, it is a rather dramatic slice of life. For Freddy's reaction at home to be so average is relatively ironic in that manner. That's all.
*Stands and applauds.*