This Nearly Was Mine

by BillyColt

Allegro

Allegro

Frederic didn't understand why he felt the way he did when Octavia had introduced him to Vinyl, weeks ago. He had felt something deeply unpleasant; something that made him feel ashamed and disgusted with himself after the fact and even up to this point, but he didn't understand it at first. He felt it again, the other night, when Vinyl brought her flowers and the two mares kissed.

He was getting better at hiding it, though. The other night he had managed to feign mild disinterest. Soon he might be able to look at them head-on. Perhaps even act supportive.

“It’s a shame you missed the reception last night,” said Octavia. Frederic was roused from his thoughts. He was in a rehearsal, practicing a trio sonata.

"Y'know, I don't get it," expressed a confused Pizzicato. He was a brown earth pony who must have used copious amounts of styling gel to get that mane slicked back the way he did. "If there are four of us playing..." He indicated around the room to himself, Ritornello (a yellow mare with a purple mane), Octavia, and Frederic himself. "Why is it called a trio sonata?"

"It's about the number of parts," Octavia explained, "not about the number of players."

"Take a good look at the score," Frederic added. "You'll notice that the cello and piano parts are practically identical."

Pizzicato leaned in to take a closer look at the score. "So they are."

“I take it the reception went well?” Frederic asked.

“Very,” said Octavia. “Harpo and Beauty Brass stopped by. They were sad to have missed you.”

“I’ll have to apologize to them later,” said Frederic. “I was in a hurry.”

Pizzicato stood back up. "Well, from the top!"

At first he wasn’t sure why he felt it. Later, however, as he pondered more and more, he came to realize what it was he felt. It was jealousy. Unfortunately, recognizing the feeling for what it was made him feel even worse. How could he be jealous of Octavia? She was a good friend - if she was happy in a relationship, then of course Frederic should have been happy for her. He tried to be, but deep down there were still irrational feelings of hurt and resentment. He thought more about it, trying to understand what he was feeling, and why he felt it. Then he understood: he was in love with Octavia.

***

"Bit for your thoughts?"

"Hmm?" Frederic looked at Octavia as he closed the lid of the piano.

"You just seemed to be off in your own little world there." Octavia was similarly putting her cello back in its case.

"Oh, just the usual things," Frederic said with a shrug. "Music, business, life in general. Nothing worth your hard-earned bits. And you?"

"Vinyl asked me to come over to her recording studio," Octavia said, hoisting the cello case onto her back. "She said she wanted me to play something that she could use in one of her songs."

"Sounds highly flattering," said Frederic. "I don't think I have any engagements today. I'll just be back at my apartment. Maybe I can try cleaning it. Or maybe I won't clean it and I'll just go to bed."

Frederic and Octavia left the stage where they had been practicing and began walking down the road. As it happened, Frederic's apartment was on the way to the studio where Vinyl Scratch recorded, so they walked together.

"What kind of music does she play?" asked Frederic.

"Vinyl? Oh, she does dubstep, electronica, trance..."

"What do any of those mean?"

"I have no idea," Octavia laughed.

"Thank goodness," said Frederic, "for a moment I thought it was just me."

"The musical crowd that Vinyl hangs around with has all these genres and sub-genres of music. Honestly, I'm impressed that she's able to keep them all sorted out."

"She seems very energetic."

Octavia smiled. "She is. I never expected to meet anyone quite like her."

Frederic looked for something he could say. I have to say something, he thought. But what? Should I tell her how I feel? He stopped walking. How do I feel?

“Frederic?” Octavia asked. “Is something wrong?”

“Hmm?” Frederic looked back up at her. “No, nothing. Just thinking.”

“You do a lot of that, don’t you?” asked Octavia. “Always thinking, thinking, thinking. And I don’t think you’re always thinking about music.”

“Well, I guess that’s between me and...” he paused. “Hm. I need to think of something to complete that sentence, don’t I?”

Octavia laughed. “You think you might have come up with another witticism?”

“There’s always room for more,” Frederic said. He looked up at the sky. “One thing that makes Canterlot different from a lot of big cities: You can see the stars.”

“Never took you for a stargazer,” said Octavia.

“I’m not,” Frederic said, shrugging. “Just...” He looked up at the sky. “Just a thought.”

The two continued walking, watching the scenery as they went down the path they had long since memorized.

"I think I’ll need to hire a piano tuner,” said Frederic. “My upright seems a bit ‘off’ lately.” He paused. “Have you ever worked with a particularly bad instrument?" he asked.

"Not since I was in music school," Octavia replied.

"Oh," Frederic chuckled, "the early days of our careers when all our instruments were on rental and the brass players just hoped they'd be lucky enough to get a shiny one."

"Don't remind me," said Octavia. "I'm very grateful that I have an instrument I actually own now. If my cello isn't working right then I'm not taking care of it properly."

"Of course," said Frederic. "I was just thinking. Sometimes the places I have to work don't have very good pianos. The piano at the bar I work at has a sticky key. I want to play a D, but it never works."

"I can only imagine how frustrating that must be," said Octavia.

"I don't get frustrated," corrected Frederic. "It's just... difficult to work with."

"If I had to be expected to work with a cello that was missing a string, I'd probably refuse."

"Hmm..." Frederic mused as they walked past a row of apartment buildings. "Refusing a job. That sounds rather cathartic, honestly."

He stopped in front of the door to his apartment. "Well, have a lovely evening," he said as he opened the door. "I'll see you for our practice session tomorrow?"

"Of course," said Octavia. She nodded her head politely when something on the floor caught her eye. "You have a letter?"

"So I do." Frederic leaned down to pick it up. "Say, it's from the Canterlot Music Academy." He began to pry it open.

"What does it say?"

"I doubt it's anything important," said Frederic. "Probably just a stamped letter asking for donations or..." He stopped, staring at the letter with a stone expression. His eyes were the only feature that moved as he read it, again and again.

"What is it?"

Frederic calmly folded up the letter. "My concert has been cancelled," he said simply. "I suppose that Canterlot will just have to wait a little longer to hear the music of Johannes Brahmas."

"I'm sorry," said Octavia. "I know how much you were looking forward to that."

"I'll just have to look forward to something else."

"But still, that's not fair," Octavia protested. "I heard you practicing those Ballades. You put a lot of effort into them."

Frederic smiled and shrugged. "Well, they're pieces worth having in my repertoire, even if I don't get to perform them yet. Have a good evening, Octavia," he concluded, shutting the door.

Comments

[ScyStorm]

Poor Frederic. :(

[BlackM]

I'll give this a few more chapters before reviewing. I'm just stopping by to say that you have an interesting scenario here and I am hooked into wanting to know more. I can only hope that you deliver.

Keep writing.

[3arlGrey]

I'm a musician myself, and I must say..

images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/11/10/d92a6d07-873e-41b6-b691-a610a7a78a23.jpg

[ponygrad]

I really like this fic, but this I cannot abide: "dubstep"

WTF is this? It's dubtrot.

5/5

[Dralen]

I am a flautist (plays flute) and I must say, if a key is 1 or 2 millimeters off, the entire note goes to ****. I don't have 100 something keys to work with, I have 12. I need nearly half of them for a lot of my notes. If one key is off, a couple notes are complete crap and won't play. One key being off pretty much puts me out of commition if it wasn't for my second flute I kept when I upgraded to a better quality flute.

[Leapingriver]

You seem to have a good knowledge on the musical world. However if Pizzicato is a professional musician how is it he doesn't know that 4 people can play a trio? I'm sorry that's just a minor thing that bugged me. But poor Frederick, he has this outlook on life I'm not sure how to classify it as, he's not optimistic, but he doesn't dwell on the bad. I like it. I really like the development your giving him, your slowly making him a very interesting character.
Oh just a small side note, Pizzicato means to pluck the strings of a string instrument with ones finger. But... The ponies don't have fingers.... Just something I found amusing.