- Member Since 10th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen 42 minutes ago
Kiernan
I left for eight years. Now I've returned, a changed beast.
Kiernan
Joined 10th Dec, 2011 ·
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nice work on the chapters out so far
Can't wait for what comes next
lol. Why turn Cadance into a productive member of society when she's already a "good princess"?
given the abundance of tags and warnings, I did not expect to see a full-fledged plot here. It's not bad, but it creates the wrong expectation for the story. It's the same as when you buy a bag of chips, you find French fries inside. I think that's why there is such a negative ratio of likes and dislikes.
11281572
Thank you for that. Fixed now.
11281577
I sometimes pretend to be British, so if I open a bag of chips and find fries, I just kind of shrug.
As for the tags and warnings, consider the same bag of chips, but at the bottom of the bag, there is a section where the chips give way to a smaller bag of fried grasshoppers. It's still tasty, but not at all what you were expecting.
I want you, the reader, to know that, in ten or so chapters, there's going to be a particular fetish that you may or may not enjoy. If you see a tag that you don't like, you can move on, no harm done. I merely do not wish it to come as a surprise that such content is here. Unless, of course, you want to be surprised, in which case you can leave the spoiler tags covered up.
A good many writers do not add such warnings, and you may come across one with a fetish for necrophilia. You may have even liked it, but then you come to a section where the main character violates a corpse. It is times such as those that it would have been better to have the warnings posted right by the front door.
As for the dislike bar, I'm quite used to being downvoted. Were I more adept at advertising, I could possibly fix that, but such is not a skill I perform well. Besides, what matters are the commenters.
nice work
nice work
nice work
NICE WORK
I understand the plot for the story has to have this but it's kind of a silly process they could this simply imprisoned her forever. The normal way and still feed her she doesn't have to do anything eventually sealed chains because of time or she won't answer this being present. But I like the way the story's going so three Flint cases Chrysalis evil winks
I see this is pretty good. The torture methods with realistically never work because they're two lackluster. But the starvation that's a pretty good idea but it leads to many hoes and if it fails and she gets free you would have a way more vicious enemy then you would normally have. But the real question is would this work on chrysalis I doubt it indefinitely if she's been through a situation like this before.
nice work
nice work
NICE WORK
I agree 100% in this statement.
Okay this is starting the push the lines of maybe being slavery
11290588
Perhaps, but really more along the lines of non-consensual rehabilitation. The real slave status comes after the brainwashing. That is, after all, the point of indoctrination.
nice work
Finally! A different appriach om the reformation of Chrysalis, Loving this story.
Will be fave and Following this, you are talented!
I understand that Twilight and Starlight chose the "good cop and bad cop" tactic. But perhaps you need to consider that this can have the opposite effect.
nice work
nice work
nice work
11292331
On top of that Chrysalis is a shape-shifting creature who feeds on love so basically a spy. This level of punishment would be natural for her and her people Plus I'm 100% sure he knows how to give good head.
There's so many questions in this one part that Chrysalis did not know she could take Love in this Way seems funny at best.
Is it just me or I don't see "positive things" yet that can motivate Chrysalis to get better?
According to the current course of action, she will either break down and take revenge with a vengeance or break down and lose the will to live.
11295686
11295695
I don't think she has the humility to have done so. Giving head is about making your partner happy, and I'm sure she has no intent to do so, opting instead to just take the place of somepony they already love and take what love is given freely, drawing out more as necessary until there is no love remaining. Pleasing ponies was never a necessary part of the process, as doing so just add the label "raised cage-free" to her food.
11295704
She's been in that cell for just shy of two weeks at the time of your comment, and has been cooperating fully for only a few days. What positive things she has been given thus far is restricted to regular meal service, but will improve as she continues to cooperate, and will stop if she returns to her prior behaviour.
nice work
I don't believe Chrysalis is willing to continue this humiliating life. It seemed to me that the character with her pride would never agree to this and all this would only accumulate points in the list of "what is worth revenge for in the future."
nice work
NICE WORK
nice work
nice work
I think or this sentence gives the impression that Starlight is running around with Chrysalis?
I still have the feeling that Starlight does not create a decent member of society, but humiliates and takes revenge as much as possible.
11302756
Merely dictating.
A little column A, a little column B. She still has to march onward to making Chrysalis useful through slow and arduous reformation, but having so much skin in the game does make her quite subjective as far as how she goes about it.
11302761
it just seems to me that in this long journey, anyone in place of Chrysalis (if he has any self-respect) cursed Starlight more every night or cried at the thought of suicide.
I even thought there would be a scene where Chrysalis breaks down and throws the chain she's attached to the wall around Starlight's neck and tries to shape-shift. (Given that we were told that when changing shape, the chain tries to push out of the holes on the legs very quickly, then technically the chain on the neck can kill very quickly.)
11302787
Well, you're not wholly wrong. She would have to put a bite in the cable in order to do that, because otherwise, it would just toss her as the cable runs taut, but otherwise, yes, it would snap her neck. a pyrrhic victory, however, as now Twilight and the other princesses would kill her in the most painful and inhumane way imaginable, making sure to go nice and slow so that it lasts as long as possible. As such, the story would effectively be over.
Besides, I'm not properly tagged for that sort of thing.
There is a line separating realism from narrative cohesion, and while I'm usually happier to follow the more realistic route, I have an end goal of my own that requires that the main characters not die before the end of the story.
11302803
unfortunately, I personally know a real case when at school a young man could not stand the bullying and committed suicide. Therefore, I would not be surprised if, after killing Starlight and not being able to escape, Chrysalis took her own life in order to prevent the princesses from having a long and painful torture.
11302809
Again, I'm not properly tagged for that. This is not a story in which everyone dies at the end in a murder-suicide. It is unfortunate that people take their own lives in reality, but this is not analogous. This is a story about prisoner reform through carnal applications being reinforced until non-con turns into eventual-consensual, and then a little further.
nice work
Lol. I don't know if this was intended in advance or if this is a response to my previous comment, but this moment amused me :P
Chrysalis does show some groth, but who will be in the winning end?
11303887
I typically write the chapters a few days before I release them. Your comments came in as I was working on Chapter 21, so this was written the day before you commented last. It was edited the day you commented, but the section in question notes only a punctuation error was changed.
I don't know Spiceberry's motive, but it's somehow suspiciously interested in Chrysalis. Of course, this can turn into true love, but the beginning of their acquaintance does not seem natural to me (how can a guard get a desire to communicate with a captured enemy of the country?). It seems more natural to me that someone ordered him to start communicating with Chrysalis.
nice work
nice work
>sportball
nice work
nice work
nice work