(Hopefully this Bio is here to stay) Young College Student Studying Metallurgy, Crazy Of Monsters and Men fan, Ponies way too much on his off-time.
All her life, Torque understood metals. Different Strengths. Different weaknesses. Different monetary values. Much like herself. Calm and subdued. Tempered even.
Now she finds herself working with an alien metal… and the part has to be perfect. But for what reason?
Edited to perfection by Silvermint
Cover art from GroaningGreyAgony
Won first place in the Writeoff Competition, Almost Perfect. Although first, definitely not a fair fight. The other entrant deserves some love as well!
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Fun bite-sized little fic. Not sure where the romance is hidden, though...
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I'm still a newbie at shipping, so best I can do at this point is platonic. I guess it has to be read in between the lines. I will remove the 'Romance' tag just to be safe from misleading 
You are right about that. I guess I was in a hurry to get this story up
Glad you enjoyed though!
It's sad the Writeoff has dwindled this much. When I had my falling out it was still well-attended.
Maybe I'll see if I can drum up some support for the next ponefic contest.
For the Comment Club round that you entered!
(https://www.fimfiction.net/group/215930/comment-club/thread/486333/luna-slate-x-comment-period-2021-dec-23-30):
The first sentence is a greatly evocative one! It was a bold choice to address a technical topic. That choice distinguishes this story from many others and provides an opportunity for readers to learn, which is a good thing. This story is a very straightforward slice of life piece. Many readers here love this type of story, but I do not particularly enjoy this genre. However, I hope to be helpful! I think you were trying to evoke an idea or a mood--this story succeeded at that. The story shows the outcome of a mistake, an apology and the blooming of a collaborative "sparking" friendship (e.g. the wordplay-filled chapter title: "Sparks Flying"). I would have preferred the story to travel somewhere beyond its conclusion, but it accomplishes what I think is its goal!
Obviously, this story was well received. However, I have some concerns I am sharing due to the club and I hope they are helpful. Throughout, there are some slightly odd grammatical and stylistic choices that make it a little difficult to read:
- molten metal "melding" perhaps?
- I am not sure "incendiary" is the appropriate word here.
This sentence start is abrupt. It can work with some stylistic stories but I don't think it works here. I recommend to start with "The".
Maybe: "lifted her hood" for this instance and several others.
end with "sub-par" OR "inferior to it".
Howdy, hi!
This was a fun short story. The opening scene in the forge was especially potent and strong in its imagery. Really sets the atmosphere and draws the reader in. I love the back and forth between Kerfuffle and Torque, the borderline romantic undertones to the whole story were absolutely fantastic. It was a short, sweet, heartfelt fic and brought a smile to my face.
Honestly, I was having a down day and this just really cheered me up with how cute it was. Really brightened my mood from "meh" to "yay".
Thank you so much for the read~!
i really liked this line! likening different aspects of a specialty to "speaking another language" seems to be something that i've seen pop up a lot when people talk about their fields of expertise, so lines like this really gave that first section a feeling of verisimilitude.
the second section was a nice little moment of connection between the two characters, with the bit of back-and-forth on Kerfuffle insisting that the leg is fine despite the bad fit. it definitely feels more like a friend-ship in this little slice we get to see, so removing the "Romance" tag was wise, i think!
As always, thank you all for your wonderful comments!
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Thank you for the helpful advice! I’m at a weird spot where I’ve been advised to step back and observe how other writers do it. As you can tell by my less than adequate writing, I need a whole lotta practice. For the time being, I'll get to fixing those grammatical errors.
To answer your question, Yes, UV light is a part of welding, but not in the convention of an ingredient sense, but more of a by-product. A common warning for new welders is ‘don’t stare directly at the pretty blue light’. I’ve had friends of mine get UV burns in their eyes. From what they say, it feels like sand in your eyes. Not only that, but without long-sleeved shirts or long pants, you can end up with tans or sunburns.
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Good to hear that it helped brighten up your day!
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Glad you enjoyed also!
Yep, I jumped the gun and guessed wrong when adding the ‘Romance’ Tag. Still learning about shipping, but the best I can do for now is friend-shipping. I’ll get there eventually!
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Thank you for the educational information concerning welding!
(I just noticed your bio mentions that you are studying metallurgy! It is a great idea to write about your expertise).