- Member Since 21st Oct, 2011
- offline last seen April 25th
Patches in Equestria
There's an opening to some candy-coloured pony-land, right down that hole. I found it first, but, well, we're friends! Don't believe me? Why don't you have a look?
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Inked Moongleam · 8.3k words · 47 9 · 719 views
- RustleRustle · 9.8k words · 34 4 · 1.2k views
- StormLuna · 14k words · 19 7 · 265 views
- Inked Moongleam · 44k words · 90 13 · 1.7k views
- LoreLove · 3.8k words · 63 2 · 1.8k views
- Jonny Manz · 4.4k words · 66 7 · 2k views
- SpiderTrash · 4.8k words · 63 14 · 2k views
- NinjaMare · 7k words · 75 6 · 2.8k views
Featured In6
Stats
Page generated in 0.481 seconds
Total duration
1,063 users online
290,868 hits today, 2,921,617 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Now that's awesome fan art of the duo. X3
You certainly have a way with words. I mean for example...
...Is just bloody brilliant!
You have my upvote, to help offset the entirely undeserved ratio a little bit.
10694942
Very much obliged! Every bit helps.
Fret you not; its a niche take on a niche kink, so it's not everyone's cup of tea! I take no discouragement in that.
Just nice to know there are some out there who enjoy the flavour, and if not for the concept then for the content.
D'aww~ What a sweet ending!
This was a fun read and a very interesting take on this delightful duo. I'll admit I was into this more for all the cuddly, mushy stuff, but, hey, you ain't half bad at writing smut either.
I only have one tiny nit to pick... "Atlius volantis" should be "Altius volantis", as it is in the Olympic motto "Citius, Altius, Fortius."
10698051
Thankya kindly for your patronage! Truth-told I'm also generally more horny for lovey character writing than raw smut, but it's fun stuff to write all the same. Just hope it did its job punctuating the other aspects of their relationship.
Clever catch! Lemme tidy that up real quick.
Completely honestly, I loved it. While the sex was well written and imbued with passion, everything else was just... umph! So good! Flitter's uncertainty and her struggle to continue convincing herself of who she is, even this far into her journey. The desire to be herself in front of her friends, but at the same time wanting them to know her secret. Her loving sister that takes care of her and stands up for the mare she knows her younger twin is. It's all so well depicted and really conveys the way the mind so desires inclusion, acceptance, and love.
The only criticism I can give is there wasn't enough. I want to see more of Flitter's life. More of her past, of what she went through. I want to see where she and her sister go next.
I know this was a clopfic and that most of what was written was likely buildup for the taboo relationship and its more physical aspects, but there was so much more here too. And for that, I say bravo, well done, and thank you.
10699167
Hey, thank you! More than anything else, just hearing one of my works clicked with someone means the world to me.
I very much enjoyed writing these two so there's a fair possibility I'll do something more with them in the future if things come together in my mind. Maybe I'll seeya round and if not, hey, thanks a bunch for the thanks and the lovely feedback!
10699512
You're welcome! In my opinion, Fimfiction needs more stories like this. Porn for the sake of porn is fine, but when that's 95% of the mature/sex stories that get written and posted, it gets old rather quickly. It ends up feeling lazy and only there for the faps. There's so few of those stories these days that have a good plot (or any plot at all) rather than being entirely about sex.
While clop isn't usually my go to for reading, this was a breath of fresh air especially with it being, once again, as well written as it is. So, please keep writing! I'd love to see a longer story in this style, but even shorter stories like this are good too. In the end, do whatever works best for you.
Gosh this is cute
In any other fic with these tags, they'd have boned in this chapter. Nice to see something more grounded
What Azure said. Very cute, hot when it needed to be, and wholesome throughout, just all around lovely.
10700587
And an all-around lovely comment (and a few others throughout), thankya and glad you enjoyed!
Oof
10704268
It’s on the better end of decent I suppose. I honestly can’t decide whether I like the slower buildup or not. For the first few chapters I was genuinely confused at what was being described and thought that it was supposed to be a wingboner or something. But on the other hoof, that might just be my own ignorance. And it does allow for more of a “show don’t tell” style. Characterizations and descriptions are solid, each scene setting the tone it wants pretty well. Though there were a few parts that felt underdeveloped or unexplained. For example, it’s alluded to that in the past Flitter has had problems with others assuming she was a colt, but this isn’t really expanded on. And while there’s the whole thing about hormones, it still doesn’t explain why she just has a penis. Because porn I guess. Although I said that the individual scenes set a fairly good tone, they do feel a little odd strung together. Like, going from slice of life morning routine to goofy comedy, to social embarrassment, to not-really romance, and then porn. It’s just a lot and can feel kind of jarring as the reader moves between chapters. As for the “Found Out” part of the contest, I mean, it basically has no impact. Thunderlane and Blossomforth are just like “yeah cool”. It really could have been cut out of the story and nothing would have been lost, which doesn’t help it stand out at all amongst the other contest entries. Taking everything into account, it’s a decently well crafted story, but it doesn’t really excel in any particular territory, and it can still be confusing at times. Acceptable, but not amazing.
10707986
She's mtf.
The found-out subject matter is focused on this as much as the incestuous aspect, if not more
Though I suppose if that wasn't narratively clear, then I may have missed my mark in that regard.
I also don't think that being found out always has to be purely a bad thing.
Sometimes it's liberating and validating.
Thanks a ton for the feedback though. <3 I was attempting to capture the different moods and ups and downs through a rough day, but maybe I missed my mark in that regard too.
10707991
Oooh. That makes a lot more sense now. As for the found out stuff, I do agree that it can be a positive thing, I just thought that it was over relatively quickly. It’s an almost 18k word story, and only 2k of that is dedicated to the found out part of it. Especially for trying to have them actually discuss it like mature adults and not react impulsively, which I did appreciate. As for the mood shifts, I do agree that they’re fairly effective in the individual scenes, it just sometimes felt confusing piecing them together into a single story. I suppose I just wasn’t viewing it through the proper lenses. Thank you for the reply though, and I’m glad if my feedback is of any help.
10708129
Absolutely, and likewise thanks for taking the time to provide comprehensive feedback! It helps a lot to know what worked or didn't for a given reader.
filmschoolrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/itsatrap-2.jpg
10710380
Just finished reading and I have to echo previous comments, the smut was very good (very good) and the rest was cute, wholesome, and touching!
Especially Flitter remembering Cloudchaser getting her her ribbon, I enjoyed that a lot!
10725089
Why thank ya kindly, Miss! Glad you enjoyed it!
While the magic of our colourful pony world can bring it to another level, I think even simpler affirming gifts are magic all the same. Very happy to hear someone liked that detail.
This was a wonderful read. I love Flitter and so very much identify with her. Thank you for writing this. <3 I would totally read more about these two in a heartbeat. I want to read more about Flitter's journey, its highs and lows and read more about her friends being there for her and her sis. Just...I love that she's trans. It's so meaningful to me. Again...thank you so much.