- Member Since 10th Nov, 2020
- offline last seen Sunday
Trudgery
I (attempt to) write the kind of content I am unable to find. My writing process is very slow, but hopefully its quality speaks for itself as justification.
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...maybe break it down into separate chapters?
when is the next chapter because there are so few good dragon on pony stories that are not spike x rarity or spike in general
Can you have facesitting in the next chapter.
10852427
Agreed. The 46k word count chapter along with the incomplete tag scares me.
Aw, Cotton, you perfectly terrible coward.
If only you were just a bit more anxious, even. Thought about how much trouble you'd be in for taking the Princess out alone, leaving her to get captured and ravaged. About the explanations you'd have to give on how you knew so much about the criminals, but did nothing to help~
Those drakes were so gentlemanly. I'm sure they would have appreciated your help. Indulged that need for rough, primal revenge on that bitch you don't even want to admit you have. But now you're just going to miss even more of her training! Don't you want to see her become the proper pretty fucktoy you always wanted her to be, knew she was capable of being?
---
Anyway half-rp fantasizing aside, this was hot. If this is actually your first legitimate work of fiction, you did an excellent job, I didn't notice any problems in grammar or structure. Everything was well outlined and coherent – though, yeah, the 47k length is probably too hefty for the contents. I liked Cotton's scenes to punctuate the action, and especially his climax, but a couple of them in the middle were pretty repetitive. Maybe just a bit colored by how much I wanted him to be in on the action and living proof that Shade's teasing was true to life, though~
Jeez Shade is how when tries to be, though. Ponies are very weak to hands, and it was very fun seeing you dwell on that for so much. Soft gropable squeezeable spankable sluts~ Him picking out the right moments to really get inside Flurry's head and twist her around his finger were great. I'm so jealous of her.
Real real nice shame kink, and our two lead subs both exemplified it really well. I'm a sucker for being raped into a pleasureable mess and being forced to admit you love it, and Flurry does a great job of that here. With how emphasized what a colossal cunt Flurry was at the opening, I did hope things would be a little bit... meaner, though, but the drakes playing mostly nice was still fun.
Thank you for writing. Please do more.
Maybe you're "unable to find" this content because nobody except you wants the War and Peace of rape.
10853440
And that's totally okay! I get it's very likely not something for everybody, and if none of the official/description tags interest you, zero worries. Fetishes can often be niche and weird, hence the value of the fetish tag ;)
10852427
Yeah it is quite long. I wrote it under the guise that, in my opinion, quality clopfics are too short, so remedying that personal peeve of mine was a distinct goal for this story. I had considered breaking it into multiple chapters, but there was no particularly good cut-off I could find or think of writing in, given all of it was meant to happen in succession as a packaged ordeal. I fully expected the majority of readers to stop half-way through and come back later due to the chapter's insane length, hence my idea for a skip-ahead key for people who find the word count far too intimidating to bother grinding through if all they're doing is looking for some quick flankspank material, instead of hours of reading.
10852614
I'm unsure when I'll begin writing the next chapter. It absolutely won't be as ridiculously long as this one, meaning it also won't take as long to write. This one took 7 months of on-and-off focused effort. The next chapter will be what takes place inside the carriage as it travels through the storm under the dense forest canopy.
10852833
I'm happy you enjoyed it and saw the precision-degeneracy I was going for. Yeah, I'll never do a chapter this long again, lol. Also don't worry, things will get progressively more rough for Flurry in the next and later chapters.
10853694
I'll help you out, mate.
Where you have
tags, you can instead do chapter breaks.
Draconian = cruel or severe, usually only used to describe laws.
Draconic = involves dragons.
So now I imagine Flurry got into trouble with very strict lawyers.
10853747
Thank you, my mistake. Fixed. Just assumed I knew the etymology of the word because of how it sounded
Bruh you went to far, Cotton could've done something like get his ass in gear for the run to the palace. The dragons wouldn't have noticed him.
is it foalcon or not though? want to know before I go in
Bruh I aint reading a chapter thats 50 thousand words long. Space that shit out.
This first chapter could have been broken up into like five chapters my guy. Good work tho.
10854148
No, there's nothing of that sort. All characters are aged 20 or older. I was pretty specific in how I tagged chapter 1. If you see no distinct tag for it, (such as foalcon) then it isn't present at all.
10855321
ah ok thanks just wanted to be sure that I didn't miss it or anything
Pretty good writing. It's long, but doesn't feel lengthy, with a good diversity in descriptions.
Can't wait to when every entrance of cute little Flurry's body are properly filled with masculinity.
Ok. So, this long ass story of your is absolutely ridiculous. And I love it. I have never I'm my life seen a fanfic go this long in one chapter. It took me a week to finish it. Lmao but damn it was worth the read. I'm probably one of the few that actually read it in it's entirety. And I had to re-read a few parts several times because of my ADD. I will say, I've never been one for the whole rape kink, I'm not shaming anyone for it just not my schtick. But what you did here with this so far was just, DAMN.
*reads summary*
Hm…
“Chapter 1: 46+k words”
“Incomplete”
…hm…
10875670
You can never have too much dragon-on-horse poontang. I've been assured it isn't possible.
That was great! I can't wait to read more of you work!!! <3
You shouldn't have chapters this long. Maybe you could split this chapter into 4.
10886722
This is actually what I'm planning on doing for reader convenience, but I'm currently planning on doing it probably alongside the release of chapter 2, and also give one more clean, full-length, quality-assurance proofread through the entirety of chapter 1 to make sure I'm totally happy with it before I release it in parts and never touch the first chapter again.
10886807
I think you should split it into 5 pieces. Try to keep chapters below 10.000 words.
10886843
Correct, I mathed it out in direct correlation to good flow and sensible break-off points. 5 parts is what I landed on, it'll still be a while though.
This reminds me of my favorite spanking story which also is about Flurry heart. Where she snubs a maid and Cadance takes her to her room by the ear and punishes her.
I'm loving all the loving detail you put into this work. Such care in sex fics is rare and precious. The voyeur intertwine with her servant is a great idea. Looking very much forward to future chapters with hearty loins slapping
.
Hope we can see the next part, fantastic job!
10941407
10942929
Thanks for the kind words and interest. I'm pleased with the amount of positive feedback this got, so Chapter 2 is already in the works and will definitely happen, but my writing time isn't what it had been before, so no realistic ETA of any kind.
Finally got around to reading this. I'm crazy impressed with your usage of the English language. There is no way this is your first attempt. Do you have any stories on other sites?
Like for real, this has a cohesive narrative, consistent characters, actually intriguing sex scenes, and the pacing works for me. My only complaints are that some of the bits with cotton felt unnecessary, but it's likely I'll be proven wrong.
I will happily follow this down the rabbit hole of degeneracy. Hopefully it gets more fucked up! Lol. But even if it doesn't, this is easily one of the best stories I've read on this site. Like, top 5 out of the 10 years I've been here.
Please do re-cut it to smaller chunks. 40k word chapters are hell to manage on a mobile device over multiple readings. I can't believe I'm asking someone to make shorter chapters. Lol...
But, yeah. I'm excited to see bad things happen to Flurry, and then I'll be excited to see her do worse (better?) things.
I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about cotton. I think that will depend on how this story ends for him. He's just not connecting for me in a lot of the scenes, and I usually like a little of that kind of content. But it all could absolutely fall into place as the story goes. Or it could not. Flurry's story is more than enough to carry the weight of equestria on her back.
I mean, while she's on her back.
10965312
Thanks for the feedback and interest!
This was indeed my first story, but the time it took to write the story was literally just over 7 months, and I spent a lot of time mulling over the story from start to finish, rewriting what I didn't like, touching up what I did. I wanted pretty badly for it to not suck.
Spoilers for Cotton Cream's involvement in future chapters:
He's not going to be in any of them, lol. Or, at the very least, he'll have maybe one short, non-spicy scene in the final chapter, and some passing mentions of him in other chapters. The focus is Flurry Heart's ordeal, and Cotton no longer serves his (intended) purpose of emphasizing said ordeal from a third-party perspective. I'll likely be touching up/shortening some of his more boring interjecting scenes when chapter 1 gets its final QA pass.
Sounds like you'll enjoy chapter 2 in particular, as it's just about Flurry and Shade in the carriage.
Still no ETA but encouraging comments like yours definitely help motivate me to write for it more often.
10853440
My preference is the "Crime and Punishment" of rape, but I guess that's covered pretty extensively in my body of work. I tend to like moralistic discussions about terrible things. That's not en vogue right now though, so nobody reads my stories. I should have published in the late 1860's in Russia. Darn. Next time. At leas I'm not publishing anything in Paris in 1955. Now that was a market that is especially out of taste.
That being said, I'm incredibly happy to read the "War and Peace" of rape. Especially if it happens to be half as good as this.
I really liked this can’t wait to see more
Unf, I'm loving this~ I definitely wouldn't mind if Cotton kept being in the background all the time~
11297144
Sorry, lol! Chapter 1 got a big quality assurance update you can read about in author's notes of part 1. Chapter 2 still in the works
11297200
Sorry had to point out I bust out laughing reading what was essentially patch notes for online pony smut.
I'm sure Chapter 2 will be worth it. You said it be shorter but honesty take as long as you need and let it be as long as needed. Never been disappointed in a long story while shorter stories consistently have.
11298294
Yeah, you're right, I guess it is really silly isn't it? lol. Just wanted to make sure anybody who actually cared knew what was changed and if it was worth re-reading for them.
Thanks for the encouraging words! Rest assured I'm not gonna half-ass any of my chapters, would rather I never released them at all than simply crank them out as mediocre or poorly flowing filler reads.
You will continue this, right?
11441282
Progress is slow but yes, I have plans to continue it. I have the premises for 3 additional chapters, and possibly even a short 4th. Chapter 2 is still being picked at here and there.
11442101
Yay ^^.
If only someone told me that when I was 11.
11510619
Pretty much everybody was ignorant to the dangers of porn addiction back then, but now that we've seen the harm it can cause and have rock-solid science backing it, I feel all porn should have the same warnings as alcohol or tobacco or what-have-you. Just feels sensible to me. You're the first to even acknowledge my disclaimer, glad you appreciated it
You know having played the the Yakuza games back to back and then getting addicted to Jav content (because of particular Cameo "stars" in some of them) and then coming to read the edited version (of now first story I think) I'm just now realizing how similar this story is too Japanese porn. The groping, the length of each particular scene, the rapey vibes and the overall potential length of the entire thing is similar to how Jav stuff is bare minimum still over an hour long. Even Cotton's stuff doesn't feel out of place though I have no examples on my mind as usually background male actors for NTR scenes awkwardly just "sleep" though it somehow.
Curious if this recent observation of mine is just seeing a coincidence or a conscious thought process in shaping the story.
Still eragly waiting for the next chapter but actually sequel now.
11842383
That's a very interesting observation to me because, no, no Japanese literature or hentai or manga or anything from their entertainment culture influenced me in any way. My only objective was to take an idea I found to be a good one (for smut, anyway) and try to realize it with as much detail as possible. I routinely kept feeling like I failed to give sufficient detail as I read my own story back through the few years since publishing it, hence why it got a big QA update as well as some smaller unnoted improvements on and off after as well.
I'm not sure why Japanese smut loves going into excessively lengthy detail like I do, but that's interesting to hear there's a similarity. The reason I do it is because I grow frustrated when I find a good smutfic premise that under-delivers its meat and potatoes so I want to make sure that if I feel I have a good one I am not falling into the same results. That, plus the combine desire to make it objectively good on its own merits since I believe the quality of art is actually rooted in an objective standard rather than a subjective one, therefore this belief feeds my obsessive compulsion to always chase that objectively 'best' possible version that is obviously impossible to ever obtain, but I still always enjoy doing a comb-over that makes tangible progress in that direction. Insane length or abundance of details is really just a side effect to me doing this.
I do feel bad about not getting the sequel out yet, given the ideas for it start to finish have been done in my head for a couple years now, but I am happy to hear the first story was good enough to be worth re-reading for somebody. Does sort of make me feel like I wasn't wasting my time refining it in little clumps here and there on and off since first publication.