Not At All

Jars and bottles clicked against each other as a little pink filly floated back and forward from a book to the large cauldron-like pot in the middle of the table. The pony known as Cozy Glow read the recipe out loud as she held up the bottles.

“Three rose pedals, a sprinkle of morning mist, dragon scale, some mint, and an ounce of amethyst. Well, one of those is going to be harder to obtain than the others. Morning mist, it’s the middle of the afternoon!”

Cozy opened one of the jars on the table and got out a few dragon scales, sprinkling them on the boiling cauldron. The scales evaporated in a lavender mist once introduced, adding next a leaf bush of mint.

“Grogar sure had a weird collection of contents in these potion bottles. Like seriously, they’re just sitting there collecting dust on the shelves. Good thing he has me around to put them to good use. With this, he and the others will have to see what good help I am!”

“Whatever you’re trying to preach in there, could you NOT?!”

Speaking of others. One of Cozy’s roommates, Queen Chrysalis entered the center room she was in with a hoof against her temple. “Some of us are trying to get their beauty nap.”

“Well trying is a good way to put that activity.”

Chrysalis wanted to hiss but found she just didn’t want to put up with it today. “And just what are you doing so actively this late in the afternoon?” She looked down at the table to see all the bottles and jars that scattered the top of the table, a few containments tipped over to spill on the surface. “Are you trying to set the lair on fire again? Your cooking limits stop at cupcakes and I beg you that it stays like that.”

“That was going to be a good stew if you and Tirek hadn't tried to take over the recipe with your own gross ingredients!”

“I’ll have you know black beetles are a delicacy in the Changeling diet.”

“Yeah, almost as much as love is to ponies.”

“Don’t blame me for your lack of taste.”

“Whatever! Anyway I’m not cooking anything this time. I, am trying to make a disorientated potion.”

“.... A what?”

“A disoriented potion.”

“Child, that better not be what I think it is.”

Cozy Glow lifted the book on the table to show the Changeling Queen. “I found this book in one of those chests Grogar has just laying around. I flipped through it and discovered it was a potion book! Spells and potions of every kind.”

“Where did you even get all these containers?”

“They were just sitting in those shelves,” the pony said, pointing a hoof to the holes in the wall.

“Huh. Somehow I never noticed them.”

“Well, now they get to be put to use for when we go and finally take Twilight and her friends down!”

“And how do you plan to do that with all these… liquids?”

Cozy pointed a hoof at the page in the book. “With this potion recipe! It’s called A Mare Pot-io!”

“Gesundheit.”

“What? No, that’s the name of the potion.”

Chrysalis squinted her eyes as she leaned in to read the page. “A magical potion,” Cozy continued, “that makes anyone that drinks it become so focused and obsessed with somebody else, they lose sight of everything else around them. It makes them unable to carry out any other task from being so concentrated on that something else, so Twilight won’t be able to use the Elements of Harmony or Friendship or whatever laser of feelings she pulls out from her rear, when we try to take over!”

“A love potion.”

“What? No, it’s A Mare Pot-io.”

“It’s Amáre Potio, you fool, not A Mare, it means Love Potion.”

Cozy Glow flipped the book to herself and reread it. “Huh. Guess I should of thought of that from the little heart scribble at the bottom.”

“And here I thought you were making something just as worse. What makes you think you can even whip up a spell like this out of nowhere?”

“Applejack had a guest teacher once for one of her classes to come and show us about a different kind of magic, one you could make with leaves and liquids and slimes. Now that Zebra mare knew how to create fireworks inside a classroom. Her constant rhyming got annoying half way through the class, though.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “One class and you’re already creating this chaotic concoction right in the middle of our only refuge. Great. Our demise might come sooner than we first believed.”

“Hey, I got this! Even if Grogar’s bell does work for us, there’s no harm in a back up plan.”

“Speaking of that, Tirek should be done overlooking that book we stole. I swear, if that Minotaur-“

“Centaur.”

“-Even plans to hide information from us from that book, I will-!”

“Drain him of his love?”

“I was going to say ‘personally drag his rear back to the depths of Tartarus’, but that works much more efficient.”

“That’s.. actually pretty soft, even for you.”

Chrysalis’s eyes budged wide at the realization. “Fine, I’ll throw you in, too.”

“What?!”

A loud, content sigh rang across the lair as their third roommate walked in the center room, stretching his fit, red muscles above his head. “Now that was a work out. Is there anything left in the kitchen, I’m starved.” Tirek opened his eyes to stare at the scene before him, Chrysalis besides a floating Cozy, the latter hovering above a cauldron with a bottle in her hooves. “On second thought, nevermind.”

“I’m not cooking!” Cozy yelled exasperated.

“Perfect, I get to live another day.” Tirek crossed his arms as he walked over to them and peered into the boiling pot. “Not that I care too much, but what are you even doing?”

“About to finish my disorientating potion!”

“Your what?”

“A love potion.” Chrysalis corrected.

“A what?”

“I got everything except for the amethyst ounces,” Cozy ignored him and continued with a smile. “But it’s just one ingredient, it shouldn’t make a big difference, right?”

“I thought you were the potion expert, Cozy,” Chrysalis said. “You would know better not to overdo it, especially with something like a love potion.”

“What do you mean?” Cozy asked, setting the book down to look for her last ingredient.

“Changelings feed off of love, even fake love. We’ve had our encounters with prey that were under the effects of forced infatuation. It's like a drug. It makes Changelings sick within hours of feeding.”

“Huh,” Cozy pondered. “So all you have to do is NOT feed off of Twilight when I hit her with this, good.”

“That is not what I meant! I won’t be robbed of the opportunity to drain every last ounce of life source from that self-important annoying pest of a pony! But not the point. Any love enchantment has to be handled delicately, as it is a very complex emotion. One mistake can turn it from a blissful taste into a sour mess. Understand?!”

“I think you should listen to her, Cozy,” Tirek intervened. “Magic even in potions isn't to be taken lightly. We don’t want to cause a mess before we even get the chance to master the bell.”

“Speaking of which,” Chrysalis said, “Have you finished reading that book?”

“It’s written in an old dead language, I’m deciphering it as fast as I can.”

“Well decipher it faster. I’m sick of waiting for that old goat’s master ‘plan’.”

“Well I don’t have any amethyst bits..” Cozy looked around the table.

“What happened to patience being your greatest virtue, your majesty?”

“You just better not be planning on withholding any secrets from it from us when you’re done.”

“Hm, you know what? That thought never crossed my mind, until now.”

Cozy Glow lowered on the table to reach a colorful jar as Chrysalis got in Tirek’s face who shared the scowl.

“Don’t you even dare.”

Cozy rose from the table. “I’ll use this!”

“Huh?” Tirek and Chrysalis said in unison.

“I don’t have amethyst bits. Rock candy cupcake sprinkles are the next big thing, right?”

“Cozy, no-!”

Within seconds, Cozy Glow dunked the jar of rock candy sprinkles, jar and all, into the cauldron. The explosive magenta reaction blew Cozy off the air and into the muggy swamp water of the lair. Left behind were her two roommates who unfortunately for them got caught in the wide spreading mist fog of the mixture. Chrysalis hissed at the sparkling mist surrounding her like it was toxic (which to a Changeling basically was). Tirek coughed and gagged up on the too-sweet tasting gas, holding his throat like it was choking him (which probably was).

The explosion smoke splayed about until finally it started to clear and disappear. Cozy Glow emerged from the water coughing, dragging herself to the edge and shaking herself dry.

“Ok, maybe rock candy was too sweet. I think dusted sprinkles would of worked fine.” She flew up onto the table to see the mess the explosion had left behind. All her ingredients were thrown around, a few broken bottles and drops of her mixture decorated the floor and surface. “Uh… sooo can either of you lend little me a hoof to clean?” She asked into the faded mist. No response. “Guys?”

Her two allies laid on either side of the center room, thrown on the ground in the aftermath of the commotion. They groaned as they tried to get up, a shared headache throbbing against their heads. They raised their sights to one another, and from across the room, their eyes met with each other and the headaches disappeared.

Chrysalis’s green eyes widened as they met Tirek’s glowing yellow pupils, a sparkle traveling across them as they held their stare.

Cozy Glow landed in front of Chrysalis. “Hey. You guys alright? Who’s gonna help me clean up?”

“Oh, my. Well, aren’t you the strapping handsome hunk?” Chrysalis cooed.

“Huh?!” Cozy took a step back, not knowing if she should be disgusted or confused. Flying over to Tirek, she poked at his seemingly frozen stare. “Hey! You’re not gonna leave me to pick up all this myself, are you?”

“And what is a ravishing mare like yourself doing in a dumpy swamp like this?”

“It wouldn’t be a dump if you too could lend a hoof here before Grogar comes back!” Cozy Glow yelled at him only for it to have no effect as he kept his trance on Chrysalis. “What has gotten into you two?!”

“No place is a dump if your strong, dashing self is here with it.”

“Only if it’s being accompanied by your radiant beauty.”

Chrysalis giggled, too uncharacteristic for Cozy’s liking as she and Tirek embraced each other in a nuzzle, his beard brushing against her cheek as her wings buzzed excitingly behind her. Cozy Glow stood petrified at the scene happening before her, shooting glares back and forward from the two of them before finally finding her words.

“What, the hell is going on?!” Her outburst got their attention as they finally tore their stares from one another to the filly.

“Oh, look at her, Tirek. She’s adorable!”

“Indeed she is, my dear. Our family wouldn’t be as complete without our child to symbolize our love!”

“Family?!” Cozy’s yelling got interrupted as she was lifted up by Chrysalis’s magic and placed between the two adults. “H-Hey!”

“Just look at her. Don’t she look just like a part of us?” Chrysalis said in a dreamy tone.

“Her blue mane being a lighter shade of your beautiful teal hair,” Tirek added, the same obnoxious tone in his voice.

“And her pink coat is a variant of your bold, glowing skin.”

“Those are a complete coincidence! What are you two-?!” Cozy squirmed as her voice cut off once she looked down at the cauldron. The pink mist floated off of it as it stirred inside. “The potion. You two were caught in the middle of it, you must have gotten affected by it! You’re both under the love potion’s effects!! But then why aren’t I-?”

“If this is a love spell, I don’t ever want to wake up,” Chrysalis giggled, mimicking that of a schoolgirl tone. Cozy Glow held back a gag.

“Even if it wasn’t a spell,“ Tirek continued, “it’s impossible that I wouldn’t have fallen for you and your gorgeous eyes.”

“I highly doubt that,” Cozy muttered now beginning to be smothered by the two ancient beings that couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. “Get off me!” Pulling herself off of them (literally), she floated back to the table, flipping through the pages vigorously. “There has got to be a way to undo this. Maybe a nullifying potion, or something to reverse it. Maybe if I add the opposites of the ingredients from the recipe, I can-“

She turned around to find she was alone in the center room. “Where did they go?!”

An hour of flying around the lair and the surrounding swamp area later, Cozy found Tirek outside in the woods scavenging for.. something. The pony flew up to him in a frustrated frenzy.

“Tirek!”

“Cozy, there you are!”

“I’ve been looking all over for you-! What are you doing?”

Tirek turned to show her the barings of his scavenging. Dried up weeds and flowers. “Why, I’m gathering to make a splendid bouquet arrangement for my beloved. Would you like to help me?”

“No! It’s weird seeing you out here picking flowers when we should be planning our next step for taking over Equestria! You know, the thing we’ve been planning for all these months?!”

“Ah, yes, that. Don’t you worry, dear daughter, we’ll take over this Equestria for you and while you’re happy with it, we can rule it together, you, Chrysalis and I as a family.”

“I’m not your daughter!! You’re like a thousand years older than me!”

“A thousand six hundred, dear.”

“And stop calling me that! Once I get that nullifying potion down, I’m going to drown you both in it so this horrible display of affection between you two never happens again!”

“That’s nice, dear. Now, do you think Chrysalis would like a bouquet of just black flowers or are dried dead arrangements more to her liking?”

Cozy Glow decided not to answer and stormed off to look for her other love struck roommate.

Another half hour of flying and Cozy found the Changeling Queen a bit farther away, stalking a nest of… chickens?

Without bothering to warn her, Cozy spoke up to her. “Chrysalis!”

Chrysalis yelped back a bit as she turned to her. “Oh, Cozy, you frightened me.”

“I frightened you? You threaten to tear my head off every time I walk in your room without knocking, and a simple ‘Chrysalis’ is enough to scare you??”

“Well, you see, child, I’m in the middle of a little hunting.”

Cozy Glow looked down from the small uphill they were on to the nest of animals. “Hunting.. chickens?”

“Of course. The kitchen back home our rather lazy ‘leader’ Grogar put together doesn’t have the sufficient ingredients for a proper diet for our growing family.”

“Ingredients? So you mean you’re going to-“ Cozy Glow gagged. “Oh, gross! I’m a pony, I don’t eat meat!”

“Not you, dear, your father.”

“My father, what are you-“ Cozy groaned, a loud irritated groan to the heavens that almost shook the chickens below. “Tirek is NOT my father! That’s just.. so gross! If anything, he’s more like my great great great grandfather! And besides, he’s a centaur, he doesn’t eat meat. … Does he?”

“Well, of course he does. He’s mostly mammal, and he does need the protein and iron if he wants to build up that bulging hefty form of his.” Chrysalis blushed with a muffled giggle as she fanned herself with a holed hoof.

“I beg you not to start drooling.”

“Oh, Cozy. I know you’re just a child, you wouldn’t comprehend the love and admiration two adults can have for each other at your age.”

“Pardon me, your highness, but I nearly absorbed all the magic from Equestria singlehoofed. I think I’m more than capable of understanding love, even one as disgusting and sickening as this one! Just yesterday you and Tirek almost fought each other over who’s turn was it to wash the dishes! We almost had NO dishes you two were about to throw them at each other!”

“A lover’s quarrel, perhaps. It comes when building a family.”

It took every ounce of willpower in Cozy Glow not to dig her head in the ground ostrich style and scream. “We’re NOT a family! We’re nothing LIKE a family! I’m a pony, you’re a crazy Changeling on the verge of insanity, and Tirek’s a millennia old centaur who has more beef than brains even when he reaches the size of a goddamn building!”

“Yeah, he does,” Chrysalis grinned.

“AUGH!” Cozy flailed her short forelegs into the air and flew back to the lair.

Understandably frustrated, Cozy stormed into her room and slammed shut the door behind her.

“What in the seven layers of Tartarus did I do to deserve this nauseating outcome of events?!”

Draining the magic source of an entire country would be a good start.

“Those two wouldn’t shut up about ‘deary’ this and ‘love’ that and ‘daughter’ the other,” Cozy lamented. “And so much on this ‘family’- we’re not even the same species! Those two haven’t ever treated me like a child until now! At least I was on equal footing with them before, but this-! Not only is this intolerable, this is downright disrespectful!”

She flew up to her bed, pushing a beaten and battered homemade DYI Starlight plushie to the floor. “I don’t need this! I don’t need those two acting like parents towards me!” She slumped down on her pillow, letting the words ghost echo in the room when she realized what she said and opened her eyes.

‘Parents.’

“I mean..” Cozy shook her head and slumped back down. “No, absolutely don’t need them. Especially not when they’re all soft and weak and gross like this. Oh, let this be over by morning. Hopefully that potion spell will wear off by then, and we can go back to what’s really important; defeating Twilight and the princesses and ruling over Equestria until the ends of time!”

With that happy thought in mind, she yawned and laid back down to sleep.

The next morning, Cozy took her usual morning routine of spending an hour in the bathroom fixing her bouncy curls and ribbons on her mane and tail, then flapped her tiny wings towards the kitchen. A quick sniff of the air sparked her interest as she floated midair, slowly recognizing the sweet smell as she drew closer.

“That smells like… pancak-!” her confused yet happy tone instantly drained from her when she took the turn to the kitchen and saw the horrifying scene before her. Chrysalis stood over the stove, her magic holding up a pan as she flipped a pancake in the air.. while she wore a frilly pink apron.

“AH! Chrysalis?! What are you wearing?!”

Chrysalis turned to her, not at all returning the upset tone but rather a chirpy one of her own. “Oh, good morning, Cozy! Care for some breakfast?”

“It’s not even 9am and I already lost my appetite for the whole day.” Cozy muttered, going completely ignored by the apron-wearing Changeling.

“Why don’t you sit by the table? The batch will be done soon.”

“Batch? In the weeks of us living together, you’ve never even considered cooking for us.” Cozy lazily looked over at the table to spot a glass filled with orange liquid. Floating towards it, she came to see the whole table was set with three settings, a maple bottle in the middle along with a whole jug of the orange liquid. She took the glass and sniffed it, a quick sip making her light up. “Apple juice?”

“Of course,” Chrysalis chirped back. “You ponies are quite fond of it, right?”

“Well, yeah, but-“

“Ooh, are those pancakes I smell?” A booming voice rang through the kitchen, soon revealing itself as Tirek walked into the kitchen, a hand behind his back.

“Indeed,” Chrysalis cooed. “Are they to your liking?”

“Not as much as I like waking up to see you in such a revealing and tempting outfit, my dear.”

Cozy spit out her drink almost choking on it as the two adults ignored her, tranced in each other's gaze once more.

Chrysalis blushed at the comment. “I’ll consider wearing it more often if that’s the case.”

Tirek brought an arm to wrap around her midsection, pulling her close as he nuzzled at her cheek. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

“Honey,” Chrysalis giggled bashfully. “The child.”

Tirek then brought his other arm forward to reveal a bouquet of dried up weeds and a lopsided flower or two. “These are for you, love.”

“Oh, darling, you shouldn’t have!”

“The rough, dried edges reminded me of your holed, punctured hooves, and how much I Iove to hold them.”

“Darling, I don’t know what to say.”

“I do,” Cozy intervened in her own space, her head dead against the table. “Ground, eat me now.”

“Perhaps telling me what smells so delicious,” Tirek continued. “Well, aside from you.”

Cozy rose her head up to stare up at her ex-mentor with a face of repulsion, mouthing what appeared to say ‘What the buck’.

“Well, now that you’ve given me such a lovely gift, I can give one in return.” Chrysalis lit up her horn as she took a tray from the kitchen counter to show him.

“Are those-?”

“Chicken bits.”

Cozy’s face contorted as she averted herself to the side, a hoof holding her stomach with the other on her mouth.

“You spoil me, my love.”

“My pleasure, dear. Now come, let’s sit for a lovely breakfast together before these pancakes get cold.”

The clink of the plate setting on the middle of the table got the pink filly’s attention as she looked up to see the towering pile of pancakes staring down at her. Hopefully she could at least enjoy a good decent breakfast for the first time in a while without having to- Oh, goddamnit.

The pancake she slipped down to her plate revealed itself to have been molded in the shape of a heart, because of course it was. Baring through it, she jabbed her fork into it and bit into a piece of the flat cake. It was.. surprisingly really good. Perfectly cooked on both sides, thick and sweet. Was Chrysalis always this good at cooking? Maybe this side of her wasn’t so bad.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, the sound of giggling brought her attention up to see Tirek and Chrysalis feeding each bits of food with their respective utensils. Tirek held up his fork as he placed a slice of pancake gently into Chrysalis’s mouth. Likewise, a magic engulfed fork with a chicken bit floated up to his mouth as both utensils moved aside to make way for the two to gaze into the other’s eyes as they chewed, a muffled dreamy sigh emitting from both of them.

The tray of bits sat invitingly at the center of the table, yet all the filly wanted to do was hurl.

Cozy took the rest of the morning and afternoon looking through the book hoping to find something to reverse the curse she had embedded on her two roommates. With Grogar gone for weeks at a time, she could take up the table his crystal ball would normally sit at for her reading. Sitting on top of said table, she flipped through the pages, reading the rest of the potion recipe names and their effects.

“Disorienting potion. Infatuation spell, my flank.” She vigorously gave another flip of the pages and continued reading.

Caw

With an eyebrow raise, she looked up to see a crow flying across the air to one side of the lair. Shrugging her shoulders, she went back to reading. Seconds later…

Caw

Returning her stare up, another crow flew the opposite site of the last. Odd. More seconds later.

Caw

Ok, this was getting suspicious. Walking over to the edge of the table, Cozy leaned as much as she could to see the opposite sides of the lair. On one side, she saw Chrysalis suspended in the air, resting on a hammock made of her Changeling webbing like a half cocoon, swaying mildly side to side as her face rested on a hoof, looking with narrowed eyes at the opposite side of the room. Facing the other side, Cozy could see Tirek sitting on one of his work benches, mindlessly flexing on a single dumbbell with one arm while the other rested under his chin as he gazed dreamily to the far opposite side of the room until a crow landed next to him with a piece of paper tied around its neck.

Cozy raised an eyebrow as Tirek carefully took the note, speed reading trough it as a goofy smile formed on his expression. He took out a pencil and wrote something on the paper, wrapping it once more to clip back on the bird.

Caw. The bird took to the air and traveled to Chrysalis, landing on her web hammock as she took the note with her magic. She giggled at the apparently funny contents and took out a pencil of her own, writing something as well with her magic before clipping it back to the bird and went back to gazing at her object of affection.

Caw.

The raven travelled back and forward between the two. The filly pony tried her dang best to ignore the constant call of the winged creature, the irritation boiling up inside the ten-pound body of the child before she grabbed the nearest jar and flung it at the bird as it passed by. It of course dodged it and the jar fell into the swampy water below. What Cozy didn’t see was the black mist that emerged from the water once the contents sank.

Huffing out a groan, she took the book and went to lock herself in her room.

The loud clashing was hard to ignore even behind a closed door. Cozy Glow shook herself up from her book and flew to the door to the source of the collision. The kitchen lights were on. Great.

Cozy walked in and immediately stopped her trotting when she saw the mess of ingredients and pans scattered all over the room. If somepony would of told her a tornado decided to pass through this specific room and nowhere else, she would've believed them.

“What the hell happened here?!”

Her outburst went ignored by the couple in the room who laid on top of the table, gazing into each other’s eyes as they mindlessly tried feeding each other cupcakes with childish giggling and muttering. Frosting and other sprinkles decorated their fur and mane, not that they minded, or even seemed to notice. Tirek hovered a cupcake next to her mouth, but instead of feeding it to her, he smeared it playfully against her cheek, earning him a cooing chirp from her. In turn, Chrysalis levitated a cupcake up to his face only to spread part of its frosting against his chin. When Tirek couldn’t reach it with his tongue, Chrysalis brought a hoof up to wipe it and licked it from her hoof, her half-lidded expression never parting from his gaze.

“Oh suuuure!” Cozy Glow groaned up at the two (now questionable) villains. “My cooking is literally to die for but you guys can’t even bake a single pastry without destroying the kitchen. There was still edible food here!”

“A sweet, for my sweet,” Tirek cooed in his rough raspy voice that only mesmerized the Changeling as he brought up a cookie to her.

“Sweet, what I hope to give you soon,” Chrysalis responded back as she took the cookie in her mouth, keeping it there with a soft hum locking eyes with her centaur lover.

Cozy Glow internally screamed as she stormed off to look for something to gouge her eyes, and hopefully ears, out.

The swamp was quiet in the late evening. Only soft crickets chirping away and the occasional crow crying out into the night. Dark and gloomy. Just the way Cozy liked it. After a long exhausting day, some peace and quiet was all she needed.

She spoke way too soon.

The booming sound of a double bass playing an upbeat jazzy beat interrupted the quiet peace of night as the pony’s eyes shot wide open.

The familiar voice of her male roommate began to echo from the outside of her window.

“Please, no.”

Outside the skirts of Grogar’s lair, a starstruck centaur jammed away at a cello double bass, an equally starstruck Changeling Queen resting her body on a railing edge of the outside lair’s structure as she watched his performance. Her eyes faintly narrowed, mesmerized by her lover’s serenade played specifically for her, his deep raspy voice proving not to be an obstacle for either of them as he continued to sing his bewitched heart out.

The booming beats of the cello’s strings echoed through the lair. Unfortunately for the resident, the serenade performed right outside Cozy’s room.

Cozy stared daggers at the ceiling questioning how her life got to this moment and slammed her hooves on the bed as she sat up. Fluttering her wings towards the window, she got a clear view of the couple’s late night activity, Chrysalis resting her cheek against her hoof while Tirek continued to slay it on the wooden bass instrument. Where he even got the stringed contraption from was beyond her.

Cozy Glow gagged into her hoof at the musical display of affection, flying back to her bed with her hooves firmly against her ears. She glared at the outside, cursing the mere existence of the window in her room before giving in to her agony and resorted to stuffing her pillow over her head.

Just as she did, the beating of the double bass amplified as it reached its unfortunate solo, the momentum of the jazzy beat shaking the filly’s room as it jerked her small body away from the safety of her bed to the ground.

Deciding enough was enough, she huffed and took to air towards the kitchen. Outside, Chrysalis sighed dreamily staring down at the creature she shared her cursed enchantment with as Cozy reappeared on the roof of the lair with a pie in hoof, the last remaining edible of the mess the two beneath her had created.

Before the centaur could begin his second verse, Cozy dunked the pie down with a growl, landing it directly into Tirek’s face and cutting off his melodious singing. Tirek shook off the cream-filled pastry, looking around confused for a second before catching his beloved still sitting in place for him. He smiled and took a breath to start off that second awaited second verse.

He would keep his audience waiting as a second item came slamming down on his head, this time in the form of a toaster. Seemingly knocked out, Chrysalis flew down towards Tirek’s body with a worried hoof to her cheek.

Cozy Glow was too tired to give two hoots and just flew back inside to sleep, thankful any future performance was cancelled.

Cozy did herself her own favor by getting up early and making breakfast before her two lovestruck roommates did and ruined it for her again. Immediately after, she went back to reading the potion book, more than eager to look for an undo spell somewhere. A potion, a spell, anything to relieve her of this nightmare.

“‘This looks like an interesting book,’ she said.” Cozy muttered to herself. “‘Oh look, spells in the form of easy potions’, she said. ‘Oh, look! A disorienting spell that will surely help us take down that purple prissy pony much easier with no repercussions!’ Cozy, why couldn’t you just have tried that new recipe of spiked cupcakes and call it a day? Augh!” Cozy left out an exasperated huff and slammed her hooves down on the book. As tempting as the new sleeping coma and enhanced wings potion spells she found looked, she needed to take care of her current situation at hoof first.

“This is getting bad. If I’m not able to find something here, I might be forced to go into Canterlot again to find something else there. But with Tirek and Chrysalis in the state they’re in, there’s absolutely no way we’ll be able to successfully sneak in again. If anything, I think with the higher risk of getting caught in the heat of the moment, those two might think of- Blaugh! No!” She shook her head to get the repulsive thought out of her mind. “On the only bright side, at least Grogar isn’t here to see the mess both of them and the lair has become.”

“To see the what?”

Cozy Glow jumped at the booming voice that echoed throughout the caves. Wheeling towards the entrance, her pupils dilated at seeing the blue goat known as Grogar in front of her face with a less than friendly scowl.

“Uhhhh… how much of that did you hear?”

“Enough to know that you three have been doing something behind my back!”

Cozy tried to calm her beating heart and put up her innocent facade. “Behind your back? Pssh, no, of course not! We’ve just been doing.. a few team exercises that maaay have gotten a little out of hoof.”

“And just what kind of exercises did those include? Because the kitchen is stained everywhere of I don’t know how many substances, there’s a broken cello in the front, and dried up weeds are scattered absolutely everywhere!”

Cozy looked down at the lair’s floor. “Huh. I completely missed those.” Grogar’s snort brought her attention back. “W-Well, I can assure you, there’s a perfectly good explanation for all of them.”

Before she could give her perfect explanation, a pair of giggling voices echoed from the hallway and walked together to the center room, claw-in-hoof staring at one another. Their lively muttering was inaudible as they nonchalantly passed by them and headed for the exit.

“And just where are you two going?!” Grogar’s voice boomed.

“Grogar, you’re finally back,” Chrysalis chirped.

“My beloved here and I are going out for a relaxing walk in the woods,” Tirek shared to them. “And after that, back home for a romantic dinner.”

“We hope you don’t mind.”

“I DO mind!” Grogar stomped his hoof on the ground. “You think you two have permission to just walk around in plain sight, risking being seen by somepony?!”

His tone was harsh and threatening, but alas, the pair did not pay him any attention. The second their eyes met again, all further focus was shifted on one another once more. One could practically see the hearts floating above their heads as they walked out.

“Hey! I haven’t dismissed you two!” When it became clear they wouldn’t budge, Grogar turned back to glare at the filly. Cozy Glow gave a nervous chuckle as she tried to maintain eye contact. “What happened?”

“W-Well, you see, I was doing some exploring earlier the other day, and I-“ before Cozy could finish, Grogar had already looked behind her and saw his potion book laying open on the table. He snorted as he slammed a hoof against the surface, making the book jump.

“You used my enchantment guide?!”

“Enchantment guide? O-Oh, that old thing? I don’t even know what that is, it was already there-“ A sharp look from the goat jolted Cozy as she finally confessed. “Alright, fine! I tried creating a potion from one of the recipes written in there and somehow that,” she extended a hoof to the exit, “happened!”

“Which recipe did you follow?”

Cozy frantically flew to the table and pointed at a page. “This one. A disorienting potion.”

“You fool, that’s Amáre Potio, it’s a-!”

“A love potion, I know! I may or may not have used an incorrect ingredient or two, and now I’m stuck with that mess!” Both hooves splayed frustratedly at the exit passage. “Seriously, the mere thought of Chrysalis and Tirek getting together is gross enough as it is! But when they have to act so lovey and dovey and weak and GROSS like that is… ANNOYING! Especially when they try to drag ME into their sick family fantasies!”

“Have you tried looking for a reversal chemical?”

“I have been trying to do that for the past two days! But this book gives me no other recipes for it!”

“You child. To reverse a potion’s effect, there’s no other secondary recipe to undo it.”

“What?!”

“Every potion spell can be undone if you only modify the original recipe.”

“You mean I just have to do it again?”

“No. You have to add another extra ingredient that nullifies the original outcomes. Did all three of you drink that potion?”

“Eehh.. actually, it kinda exploded when I added the last ingredient. Tirek and Chrysalis got caught up in the explosion’s gas while I was thrown.. in the swamp water.” Grogar let her speak on her own. “When I got out, I wasn’t affected by the gas at all. The muddy swamp water must of prevented me from getting all lovey dovey because it was so dirty and tainted, unlike the clean and pure recipe from the love potion. That’s it!”

“There. It only took you two entire days to figure it out.”

“Hey, I think I would of gotten it quicker had it not been for those two going around being all mushy and obnoxious all the-!”

“Go make that nullifying spell!” Grogar commanded with another stomp. With a jolt, Cozy Glow curried away.

Cozy spent the rest of the day once again collecting ingredients to recreate the love potion, saving the last spot for the new pitch at the end. She would of used the batch from last time but she found the cauldron had somehow been emptied and cleaned. The one time she didn’t want her roommates to help out with chores.

Hurried as she could be, Cozy looked over the book to create the mixture.

“If I add morning mist this time, will it work for or against the nullifying effects? Augh.” She shook her head. It was late afternoon already and she did not want to wait until morning to fix her nightmare. Wait. Late afternoon. That meant-

On cue, the familiar sickening sound of giggling began to echo throughout the lair. Sure enough, her roommates were back, still claw-in-hoof.

Cozy tried her best to ignore the nauseating feelings as they passed by her, surprisingly not ignoring her this time.

“Cozy, sweetie,” Chrysalis cooed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be home by afternoon to make lunch for you. I was a bit.. hehe, distracted.”

Cozy rolled her eyes and looked back at them. “I can feed myself, thank you. What does it matter to you if I’ve eaten anything anyway? Aren’t you two more focused on each other?”

Tirek chuckled, holding Chrysalis’s hoof closer to him. “Oh, we most definitely are. But that doesn’t mean we would just push you aside.”

“You’re right that we weren’t all the same species,” Chrysalis continued, her wings buzzing gently behind her, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t love you as our daughter, we’re family, after all.”

“For the last time-! Augh.” Cozy stopped herself from attempting to correct them once again, knowing it would be futile and decided to return back to the recipe. “Yeah, ok, whatever.”

“Well, we just wanted to tell you we're so glad you’ve grown into such an independent little filly.”

“Mhm,” said filly hummed uninterested.

“And, we’re proud of you.”

Cozy’s ears perked up. “Huh?”

“Mhm,” Tirek hummed. “We’re proud of you, sweetie. Taking care of yourself..”

“And now you’re even making potions of your own,” Chrysalis chirped, wrapping a foreleg around Tirek’s bicep. “Isn’t she the smartest little thing?”

“Indeed she is, my love.”

Cozy stood unmoving on top of the table.

“Now come, hun, our dinner awaits us,” Chrysalis purred, pulling his arm gently towards the other room.

“Right behind you, darling.”

Cozy watched them disappear into the next room, eyeing the table as her mind still processed what just happened. It was gross, no doubt, both of her only two allies acting like.. that in front of her. But that wasn’t what caught her off guard.

“No one’s ever said… they were proud of me,” she whispered as she found herself alone in the center room. The potion gas was suppose to affect them with each other, not with her. Unless…

When she got out from the water, she herself wasn’t affected, but they still were. When they saw her, they must have still been under the infatuation spell, except they didn’t see her romantically like they did with each other, but rather… parental.

They fell in love with her in a parental way. That’s why they wouldn’t shut up about her being their daughter, or trying to act like a family. They… actually cared about her.

Cozy eyed the still pre-heating cauldron and what she was about to undo.

No more of their praising towards her. No more over-doting on her. No more.. lovey dovey displays, or serenades to each other, or annoying birds cawing while you’re trying to read and gross mushy ridiculously cheesy flirting lines that made her want to vomit—

Yeah, no, she didn’t want this.

Grabbing a jar of the remaining dragon scales available, Cozy tossed them into the pot and stirred some more.

Cozy made a point of covering herself with swamp water to nullify the effects of the potion gas as she hovered over the cauldron, lifting the rock candy sprinkles above her with a gasp and dunking them inside. The result was the same explosive magenta reaction, this time she learned to shield her eyes. Its scent was sweet, too sweet. Nauseating, in fact. Rock candy was too powerful of an ingredient, as it seemed. The overload of sugar must have been what caused her two victims to act too lovey dovey with each other. Guess Chrysalis was right, love, even in spell form wasn’t something to be handled delicately. Remembering this, Cozy added the next ingredient and threw a liter of swamp water into the mix.

Almost instantly, the magenta mist was overcome with a light black fog. The nullifying potion was completely. Putting off the fire beneath it, she tried to grab the pot only to realize it was much too hot still to be handled. She frowned at the fact she still needed to wait for it to cool and decided to find her two allies first so she’d know where to put the concoction to use.

Flapping her small wings to the air, Cozy flew around the lair, looking in every room for the two ancient beings. Panic began to mildly take her when she found they weren’t in the lair at all. Flying out into the swamp, her head turned side to side trying to locate them until she spotted two large bodies in the distance, sitting on top of a small hill under a dead tree. The closer she got, she realized what the scene was.

A picnic dinner. Everything was there. Chicken bits (gross), a blanket, a wine bottle (she preferred not to ask where they got that), and.. was that French music playing beside them?

She decided to land for a breather, not announcing her arrival and deciding to walk up to them in silence.

“The night stars are breathtaking this evening, aren’t they?” Chrysalis sighed.

“Undoubtedly,” Tirek agreed, taking her hoof into his hand. “It is not the only thing that takes my breath away tonight, however.”

Chrysalis blushed with a hoof to her lips. “Oh, you flirt. There’s no one else I’d rather share this night with.”

“Well, aside from one other creature.”

“Ah, yes. Our darling daughter.”

Cozy stopped her trotting uphill.

“She’s simply wonderful, isn’t she?” Chrysalis said.

“The most vile and crafty little filly I’ve ever known.”

“Darling.”

“Yes, dear?”

“She’s the only vile and crafty filly you’ve ever met.”

“Well, yes, love, you are correct. I suppose I just never decided to busy myself with children up ‘till I met her. Cozy, she truly is inspiring.”

Cozy dropped her gaze to the dried grass.

“She may not see us as a family yet, but I’m sure that within time, she’ll come to see just how much we adore her.”

Tirek smiled at her. “You are a gush of love, dear.”

Chrysalis giggled as she lifted the wine bottle with her magic, popping open the cork. “Cozy might believe we’re under a ‘love spell’ or however she sees it, but even if we weren’t, if things were different, I don’t see how I wouldn’t have been able to resist such a strong and passionate male like yourself. Unless I was maybe.. really set on something else, like petty revenge or dominance or something of the sort.”

“Likewise, my dear,” Tirek said, holding up his wine glass as Chrysalis poured some into it. “Perhaps if I was too focused on an unachievable goal like, trying to gather all the power of the world or some nonsense like that, I would have missed the gratifying opportunity of meeting and falling in love with such a beautiful mare like you.” Tirek reached to tenderly hold Chrysalis’s cheek. The Changeling in turn hummed softly against his touch.

“Can you imagine what a cold and lonely world that would be?” she asked him.

“I don’t even want to think it.”

Bringing their glasses together, they shared a click against each other’s drinks and took a sip.

Cozy took a step back, part of her wanting to erase what she just heard but for the wrong reasons. They didn’t truly feel like that, did they?

No, of course not. It’s the love potion’s effect. They would of never called their plans for take over ‘nonsense’, would they?

Their sighs of content made her look back up. Chrysalis brought a napkin to her lips to clean away any remnants of her drink. Tirek, meanwhile, brought his arm beside her to scoot closer to her. Chrysalis welcomed him as she leaned against his muscular chest before facing each other in a shared starstruck trance.

Seconds passed by in silence, only the gentle music playing around them to fill the air. The pony watching the couple almost felt bad to take away what they had, as fake as it actually was…

“Darling,” Chrysalis began.

“Yes?”

“You said you never chose to busy yourself with children, up to meeting our Cozy Glow, right?”

“Indeed, I did say that. Why do you ask, my dear?

Chrysalis blushed. “Well… do you think Cozy would be fond of the idea of a little brother or sister?”

Cozy Glow took to the skies and rocketed towards the lair.

Almost felt bad.

Snatching a loose rag, Cozy lifted the cauldron by the handles and flew back out into the swamp. Within seconds, she was back within sight of the dead tree on the hill. The two adults were now sitting face to face, intertwined in hoof and claw and dazedly staring at each other.

“Oh, love!” Tirek chirped. “That’s a wonderful idea!”

“I’m so glad you think so,” Chrysalis sighed.

Their stares held each other for a second longer before they closed their eyes and began to close in the distance between them.

Cozy Glow hovered over them, a scowl of pure disgust on her face. “You make me sick.” With a swing of her forelegs, Cozy flipped the cauldron and poured every drop of its contents over the ancient villains.

The first thing they did was spit out any mucky water that might have gotten into their mouths. It took them a few seconds to realize they were indeed soaked in some form of muddied water and looked up at the light flapping of a pony’s wings to see Cozy Glow above them, a relieved, smug smile on her face with the handle of a cauldron still on hoof.

“Cozy!!” Chrysalis yelled, her teeth baring threateningly. “Did you just pour that disgusting water on me?!”

Tirek followed her gaze up to the Pegasus. “When I get my hands on you-!”

Cozy groaned at their ungratefulness. “You’re welcome.”

“Why would we ever thank you for this?!” Chrysalis shouted.

The filly was indifferent to her remarks, scowling as she looked between them. “You guys can stop holding each other now.”

Confused, Tirek and Chrysalis brought their attention to their claws and forelegs respectively, finding that they were indeed within each other’s grasp. Their eyes met for a second when the realization hit them.

“Augh!!” Chrysalis jerked her forelegs away with an outraged cry. “Keep your disgusting claws off from me, you brute!”

Tirek pulled his hands back, keeping them up as if they had touched something toxic, his face contorted into one of repugnant. “There isn’t enough soap in the world that will cleanse these hands again.”

“I don’t recall having given you permission to touch me!”

“And you will never hear those words in your life.”

“Cozy! What’s the meaning of this?!” Chrysalis continued to shout back at the pony, unhappy that she didn’t have answers as to how she ended up in an uphill on a blanket, with music playing, and with him. Recognizing the second, Chrysalis eyed the radio playing the melodious music and smashed a hoof against it, silencing it forever.

“Hey!” Cozy shouted. “That was mine!”

“Get another!” She retorted.

Cozy groaned for the 100th time in the past two days. It was a miracle her throat wasn’t sore yet. Without any more words, she wheeled back towards the lair, at the very least content things were back to normal and she could get a well deserved good night’s sleep.

At her response, Tirek and Chrysalis looked at each other one last time before Chrysalis briefly growled and took the air, eager to get away from him. Tirek rolled his eyes and got up from the blanket to walk back to the lair. Whatever happened during the last time they were conscious and now, he really didn’t want to care. The hill was left in dead silence for a few seconds, until a beam of green magic shot straight at it, destroying any remains of a picnic setting.

Once all three villains entered the lair, Cozy Glow went straight to her room, choosing to leave the cleaning to next-morning Cozy.

“I’m going to bed,” she called out to the others. “And for the love of Celestia, do not start any singing!!” That stated, she slammed her room door on them.

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at Tirek at the outburst, who only lazily shrugged. Wordlessly they decided they couldn’t care less and went their opposite ways to their rooms.

Cozy hovered weakly to her bed and let herself slump against her pillow, moaning into it before raising her head to breath. “Well, Cozy, what did you learn today? Professor Pinkie was right. Too many sprinkles can give you a pain in the.. everything.”

She sighed, reaching down to grab her blanket and curl herself inside them, wanting to finally rest. As she did, the words from her two allies ran back in her head.

She aimlessly stared into the dark corner of her room, pondering about the moment before she fixed her mess.

“If you weren’t out to get revenge, or gain so much power that no one can stop you, you would actually give it a try, huh?” Her young imagination tried to visualize a world, alternative or otherwise where said goals were achieved. Would they stay true to their words and give each other a go? In a future where she wasn’t so obsessed with revenge, or where he wasn’t set on draining every bit of magic from the world to please his overgrown ego. And she, she would be their…

Cozy scoffed, huddling her cheek against her pillow. “Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.”

Tirek stretched his hefty arms above his head, pulling a crack as he lowered them with a deep heavy sigh. Grabbing one of his pillows, he began to fluff them before sleep, looking down as he squeezed it to its most comfortable, then to his hands. Without thinking, he let the pillow fall as his hand breezed over the other. Making one into a fist, he cupped the other from below, insinuating as if he was holding… a hoof.

It felt weird to hold another palm that didn’t also have fingers. Even weirder was that her’s had holes instead…

Realizing what he was thinking, Tirek shook his head and went over to the window of his room, grabbing both doors from either side and shutting it close. The brief gush of wind they created was enough to breeze off a piece of paper from a nearby table. The towering centaur raised a curious eyebrow at it before bending all the way down to pick it up and read.

Barely a few lines in, he hastily backed away from the paper, appalled when he recognized his own handwriting. It was a mushed collage of cheesy lines and half baked attempts at flirts, half he recognized as his own and the other.. he wasn’t quite sure.

With a grunt, he crumbled the note within his hand and was about to throw it across the room to vaporize with his magic.. when he paused and took a seat on his bed, slowly opening the note back up.

A few lines more and he soon realized who was the other person partaking in the written exchange of sweet nothings. He especially took a liking to those making emphasis on his hefty built and significant strength (whether or not they were exaggerated, he didn’t take it into account). Unconsciously, a small smile formed on his lips as did a faint blush on his face.

A few moments of hesitation, Tirek looked around his room, making sure he was alone as he neatly folded the paper and tucked it under his pillow. He then stood back up, coughing into his fist like nothing happened and went into the bathroom of his room, opting to freshen up before finally going to bed.

Chrysalis slammed her door closed with her back leg, disappointed at her lack of a decent dinner before sleep. Usually she would have a small meal from a nightly hunt, or at the very least, indulge herself with one of the pastry sweets the filly would cook up. Their sugary mixture had an almost similar taste of love, not a permanent substitute but a decent temporary one. From the looks of it, the filly did in fact decide to go beyond her baking skills because the kitchen was a mess.

But she could manage. She always did. Setting on going for a hunt the next day, Chrysalis walked toward her webbed covered bed, passing by a vase with a strange bouquet of dried up weeds and lopsided flowers.

Realizing their presence, she turned towards it and held up the note that came on the side. Since when did she keep flowers?

Holding the note up, she read.

“For my love bug.
- T”

Her eye twitched for a second after reading. The next, the bouquet, vase and all was thrown out her window, smashing into the rock surface below.

Crickets continued to chirp in the dead of night, as did a few crows flying by.

A moment of tranquility later, the bouquet was engulfed in green magic as they were levitated back inside the window they were just thrown out of.

A decoration or two never hurt anyone.

Within minutes, all lights went off, and tranquility returned to the swamp. Everything had returned to how it once was.

One could at least hope.

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SCP Pinkamena

SCP Pinkamena #1 · Oct 8th, 2020 · 4 · ·

You'd honestly think that a love potion wouldn't work on Chrysalis, but hey anything's possible in pony world

9CWAI

9CWAI #2 · Oct 8th, 2020 · 3 · ·

10471539
It is in discord's book so expect the unexpected.

luckyboys121

luckyboys121 #3 · Oct 8th, 2020 · 4 · ·

Great story and happy to see more Chrysalis X Tirek (pretty much been shipping them as well as viewing Cozy as their daughter since "Frenemies" and it's always great to see I'm not the only one)

By the way, do you have any plans for a sequel as the ending seems to imply the possibility?

Bunny CarrotHunter

Bunny CarrotHunter #4 · Oct 8th, 2020 · 8 · ·

10471991
Oh thank you<3 Theres very few Chrysirek fics around in FF (I’ve only ever seen like 5 others and they’re all by the same person), so I was more than happy to contribute as it’s my current favorite ship in MLP.

I didn’t plan a follow up or sequel when I wrote this on impulse alone. I do plan to write more with this pairing (+Cozy), however. A chapter-long fic about their next adventure(s) after escaping stone.

AnnEldest

AnnEldest #5 · Oct 9th, 2020 · 3 · ·

I am so glad that I am not the only one who ships those two. Also, congrats on the feature.

happytime27

happytime27 #6 · Oct 9th, 2020 · 4 · ·

Amazing story, I am also a fan of this ship with cozy glow as a daughter figure, and the author you mentioned writes those stories wonderfully. I am certain though that he would say your work is as good as his, for it really brings all the humor and love and slight cruelty that his does to haha. I really hope you keep writing more about these 3, and I think I speak for a lot of people who can't wait to see what comes next!