[HiE] A human wakes, finding he isn't the species he fell asleep as in a place he does not recognise, gear scattered around.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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KILL EM ALL! Oh gosh what happens if he runs out of ammo.
Ponies wearing pants? You deviant...
Him guessing that they would be tracking them could be incorrect. He is a severe complication to their mission and reporting back for instructions might be in order for them.
Normally something glanced over, but what is the group's water situation? If they don't have any sort of clean water nearby, that could spell travesty.
i wonder if this Twilight knows a complex spell that can duplicate items? this way she can conjure bullets just by seeing them. A steady supply of em
These griffons may try to track them down but.....
Wouldn't that be more likely decided to be done by a human in a griffon body or griffon commanded by a human than a griffon himself?
Because sometime in the past our preferred method of hunting was persistence hunting
Maybe with some griffon exceptions , those who are hunters or bounty hunters or at least know their job and are good at it?
Griffons don't strike me as persistence hunters but more like a divers who hunt using speed to catch a small prey
simplebooklet.com/userFiles/a/3/0/3/4/6/4/oLagtr1iabeXcsvYT1AoxR/XVO0niUZ.gif
Wouldnt they just try to randomly search the forest or do something unprofessional like that to catch them?
Maybe he gives griffons too much credit but again, it's always better to play it safe
10461798
Camelbag 2,5 liter, ~2 liter left.
Canteen 0,75 liter, ~0,4 liter left.
Comment food pellets eh? Hmm... well I don’t really have much to criticize here, the story is well written and the pacing seems just fine. Maybe some more information on why these griffons are giving chase to them instead of jacks speculation but that’s just being nitpicky at this point.
Personally speaking though I’m looking forward to the romance because the “Rainbow blushing” scenes are *muah* 𝑀𝒶𝑔𝓃𝒾𝒻𝒾𝓆𝓊𝑒
kind of disappointed there wasn't a verbal conflict at the start. I imagined the griffon walking towards them and Jack standing up and getting in their path and holding up a claw to get them to stop, and then asking what they thought they were doing, and readying his rifle, as they did whatever response you'd have given them, at the very least.
You did make it clear they had bad intentions however and Jack is quick to read a situation so I guess I can see it working as shoot first ask questions later.
Either way, I am left wanting to read more as it was pretty good besides that one misgiving.
Hope we get to see rainbow use the gun lol and really want to see more moments with him and dahs lmao
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He improvises...duh.
Liking the story so far. You found a good balance between not making the heroes plow through the enemy while making the retreat feel natural, and not happening just because the plot demands it.
10462004
Fair enough.
https://youtu.be/e4w6V-PbPKM
Ill keep mine short and simple. I didnt think i was going to like this story much (not because of the writing, it's good) but i find myself looking forward to the next chapter each time anoyher one comes out.
I'm kind of nervous about Jack going to sleep, what situation will he wake up to? Sleep can't be naturally avoided of course.
I personally can't criticise anything in this chapter, everything seem to flow fluidly. Nothing was forced, no easy plot convenience was made, and Jack made (what I see as) very natural decisions given his situation.
(I personally don't take note of punctuation errors, apologies.)
Eager to see what will happen next commander.
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Actually, avoiding sleep isn't that impossible to do for a day or two-three. You might get a few hallucinations if you're unlucky. That's a lie, it's hella funny trolling someone who's having those, can convince them of anything.
10463500
You are correct, you can also go for longer if you take short 40-90 minute naps if I remember right, you might be bit cranky and/or unconsciously pissed but you'll be more aware n all
10461767
This made me laugh
10461856
If I just dropped all the information at once that wouldn't be fun either now, would it?
This is good.
More?
10464321
More every friday
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Yep.
I would have stayed inside the train. They are by design tight spaces. One bullet can hit multible Griffin mercenarys.
They might hit passengers? Tough luck...
They take a hostage of the random passengers? Ignore em. They kill one to show there seriouse? Kill the murderer, idealy wounding a soldier of them that is in line of the bullet. Hostage are save the moment they no longer hold value.
Cold but true.
He wasting ammo by not lethal aim? That a privilege i wouldnt risk...
Take em hard down. Break there morals. Mercenary work for Financial benefits. Dead mercs cant spend money.
You know the game BATTLETECH?
- https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tVP1zc0TCq3SKksK640YPTiSkosKclJLUlNzgAAeZAJNA&q=battletech&oq=battletech&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j46j0l3.9318j0j7&client=ms-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Your a mercenary commander. You learn fast how the gun for hire think and act. Especially if you run into more trouble than your being paid for.
Evacuating the operation area is better than losing crew and equicment.
You get paid enough or not. In between is at your own cost.
You don’t know that. For all you know this is a mercenary group sent to warn Twilight and Rainbow of something else. “Shoot first, ask questions later” is not how you’re supposed to do this. You’re a soldier, this is not how military works.
Another thing; he just shot a rifle within the confines of a train car. All three of them should have ringing ears and temporary deafness. Guns aren’t quiet.
You’re making it seem like Twilight’s unfit. She’s not. She ran the Running of the Leaves perfectly fine, she’s run on numerous occasions at speed for some distance and been fine.
That was stupid. Given it was described as a forest the trees and brush have to be close together. That means that smoke grenade was wasted. At the same time, he is now shooting blindly, which is a complete waste of ammunition.
Wrong. You give equal shifts if at all possible to limit sleep deprivation. Doesn’t matter how used to it you are, you do not want to be in a combat situation with lack of sleep.
It shouldn’t be a question. You’re a soldier. Your job is to protect innocents, doesn’t matter who those innocents are (if you’re firing on innocents, you’ve got problems) and they’re innocents and also your only current allies.
Again; equal shifts. There’s three of you, so it’s one per shift. I forget how many shifts is the ideal, but generally you have multiple people (I think 3 is best) per shift. Given there’s only 3 here, it’s 1 per shift, for 3 shifts. Everyone gets an equal amount of sleep. The only reason you’d ever have someone getting more sleep than others if if they need it more I.e. injured, sick, sleep-deprived.
Nice edits Looking forward for the remaining chapters to re-read
See, now THESE guys I'd say are griffins.
And maybe cause Twilight is his best chance at getting back home. I also think he may now be too harsh on the ponies for not liking griffins.
So far only party that seems to have any idea about what happened to you and are willing to send you back to Earth. That is a good reason I think.
It is really not that bad from what I have seen. I see it coming across as more as a country issue. Accept it is much easier to see who is from what country.
So question, a terrorist griffon sect, or possibly remnants of a broken griffon government?
The constant mention of racism was starting to irk me. I'm glad Jack seems to be placated for now after realizing he should probably learn more about his environment first.
Overall, the story is well written and brisk. I'm enjoying it so far.
10708727
I mean ponies do have a history of superiority complexes. Pre-Unification was the worst but they're still pretty bad. Least most dont use 'Anypony' and other variants much in the show anymore. As we use our equivalents for people it always seemed mildly rude. Probably similar to things like calling a group 'guys' or 'girls' but still.
Just finished chapter 4, and so far I an quite enjoying what I'm reading. Into the watchlist you go, looking forward to what comes next!
I wonder who hired the Mercenaries?
Celestia should have her Element holders really better protected.
That's what she said.