UPDATE!!!!:
This is a reading of this story :)
Rainbow Dash is tired. She had been training all day for the Wonderbolts and missed lunch! She just wants to eat a peanut butter and zap apple sandwhich, but sadly she can't get the jar open! Will she eat something else? NOOOO! That's not the Rainbow Way! Follow Dash on her journey to get the jar open!
Constructive critism is welcomed
Double Space your story, make it easier to read, otherwise pretty funny.
Let me see if I can express how I took this.
what the...? o.O
*puts on read it later list*
I see Dash has taken some fourth wall breaking lessons from Pinkie Pie.
Narrator is best pony.
narrator:TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLLOLOLOLOLOLO
celestia: you learn well my student
narrator: im not a student, IM THE FIRST TROLL EVER
celestia:*fients then dies due to trolling, but is resurectted due to trolling and now shes 120% more likly to troll*
Guys are all so awesome thank you so much
Now this is great comedy!!! Made my day and inspired me to write some slendermane related
Awesome Can't wait to read it!
edited it a little, there's more narrator now
1102500
Please this.
1110553
Okay, i double spaced it
Dis is funny^^
thanks
Celestia: TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Twilight: *flips table*
Celstia:TROLOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
Twilight:WHAT THE BUCK CELESTIA Y U NO TEACH ME HOW TO TROLL
Celestia: I Am
Twilight:
Celestia: BITCH PLEASE! I WAS TROLLIONG YOU INSIDE OF TROLLING YOU!
This was funny, but I think it could have been better written. Keep up the good work though! I go!
Thanks, first story so.. Yeah thanks for the critique!!
Your line-breaks are wonky on my view, you want to turn off line-wrap before copy-pasting if possible.
Awesome story!
Awesome! I like Slendermare.