Aftermath (Scat)

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Comments ( 8 )

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NobodyG

NobodyG #1 · Nov 8th, 2019 · 3 · ·

Oh you always push all my buttons! Please make a second part when Celestia gets back and they "move on".

StillFunk

StillFunk #2 · Nov 8th, 2019 · 3 · ·

9931400
Considering it... I like the self-contained aspect of this, though

xombiekilla

xombiekilla #3 · Nov 8th, 2019 · 2 · ·

Good stuff, lad.

KinkyPony

KinkyPony #4 · Nov 10th, 2019 · 3 · ·

For me, someone who loves emotions and feelings in porn, this is an interesting switch in style. Admittedly, it's harder to fap to, as one has to enable brains instead of finding keywords, "Ahhh, keyword_a, ohhhh, keyword_b! Keyword_c into keyword_d while keyword_e? I came!" But I'm not to be deterred by the inconvenience of using brains. I came to come and I succeeded.

Still, the story is a little short and there're ways to improve it.

It doesn't glue to your lips like the dark, knobby part you were just pecking at

How does the knobby part glue to lips? It's firm, it doesn't even smear much. If you avoid spamming with fap-worthy keywords, getting the facts perfectly becomes way more important as they keep imagination working.

She turns her warm, yet piercing gaze in your direction and you quickly return to kissing and smelling what she has given you.
You remove your lips from it to answer.

You keep avoiding naming and describing what people came here for for several paragraphs.

You knew the alicorns would never age, and you knew that they'd never let you leave, or let you die...

I'm confused. How can anyone stop Chrysalis from committing a suicide? If there were failed attempts, it's worth describing. If there weren't, it's probably best to explain what's keeping her willing to live — a hope of finding a changeling who survived to restore the hive maybe?

You may also want to mention she's still eating shit during all these existential thoughts, you know, to keep fappers interested. :) But that's up to you.

Comment posted by StillFunk deleted March 19th

Marytryne