• Member Since 7th Sep, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Shrouded Lunes


Sic semper noctis sic semper noctum.

T

Late hours and overtime... I can't complain too much, it means good money. And good money means enjoying the finer things in life, or at least keeping expensive hobbies active anyways. A few grand into my gear, which constantly comes out with new toys, then another hundred or so every time I want to put my life into my and my buddy's hands ten fathoms deep, if not more so... Sorry, I'm rambling here.

Anyways! Something was bound to give eventually. And now, it finally has. I'm waking up in Equestria, just as the main story is coming into play. At least, I *think* it's the main story... I really hope the Zebras and Ponies aren't trading gems and coal... Or that there are some severe gender roles going on... Or, well, yeah... guess we'll just find out as we go, won't we?


Look, I'm not even going to TRY and deny it, this is straight up wish-fulfillment SI-OC 'Start to follow the plot' 'No, not that plot!' nonsense. It's meant to be more one part enjoyment of writing, one part getting the idea out of my head, and one part getting out of cases of writer's block than anything. So, don't expect a consistent schedule on this by ANY stretch of the imagination. That being said, I do hope you all enjoy it, at least somewhat. And that I'll see you around my other stories!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 13 )

every time I want to put my life into my and my buddy's

Wat

9777978

then another hundred or so every time I want to put my life into my and my buddy's hands ten fathoms deep, if not more so...

Scuba diving

9778001
I was mostly pointing out the my and my buddy mistake it should either be me and my buddy or my buddy and I

9778003
No, it's right. It's a double possessive of the following word (hands), not the object of the sentence.

9778009
It doesn't look right tho I'm sure it is but gaaa

9778012
It's kinda flowy "speaking" text, so that might ne messing it up a bit.

Nice writing style. Pace similar to the episode in question. You have my attention.

I am not against self-inserts. Curious to see if you make this loosely follow the episodes or wander further away.

"But that doesn't matter! This point knew more of the prophecy. And it specific-"

guessing it's meant to be pony instead of point.

I start fumbling over my hooves like a newborn foal, finally having the trouble one would imagine a newly minted pony should have went they first arrive in Equestria.

I struggled with this sentence a few times at first but got the meaning. Maybe having the balance problems? Went should also be when.

Also a male self-insert is usually called a Gary Stu.

Again, enjoying this a lot.

9850450
OK, I want to take a second to say I am EXTREMELY mad at myself right now... Your point about my typo of "point" instead of "pony"... I saw that typo EVERY TIME I re-read the story to hunt for typos or to make sure I am keeping my pace and feel consistent with the story in my head. And EVERY TIME I told myself I needed to fix it. Guess how successful that was.

Also, I do like the "balance problems" instead of "trouble" word choice. Thanks for that.

Edit: Gonna keep the "Mary Sue" in place, only because (I feel) the title is slightly more recognized in general.

9850454
No problem. I get and respect your choice there. Otherwise glad to help. Just wish I could turn off the editing part of my brain sometimes.

This was a fun read, I hope it's continued.:pinkiesmile:

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