• Published 14th Jul 2019
  • 2,942 Views, 60 Comments

Card Catalogs and Creampies - AtomicClop

Twilight Sparkle proves that, yes, you really can find ANYTHING in a library.

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Comments ( 49 )

This was so much fun! It's nice to see nerd Twilight having fun for once.

Thanks! She deserves her fun, too, not just the naughty ponies.


That was fantastic! I found it more hilarious than I did sexy, but I loved it!


I suspect most first times are funny rather than sexy when looked back upon later.

Twilight is clearly a natural at activating Almonds.

And harvesting almonds....

Twilight knows what you're talkin' about!

Genre savvy Celestia is the best part of this fic :rainbowlaugh:

This was a good story.

Thanks! It was fun to write.

"Nurse Sternheart had to remove a glass soda pop bottle from my... nethers... yesterday."

Heh, better keep Twilight away from alcohol or she might put something worse there. Saw that happen once in the ER.

Not bad at all.

...Kinda wanna see the Flue/Celestia thing now.

~Skeeter The Lurker


I'm contemplating a Twilight/Moon Dancer/Almonds threesome next....

Haven't decided.


Why not both?

~Skeeter The Lurker


Love it! Great job :twilightsmile:

Great job! Didn't know I needed this until I read it.

Thanks, I appreciate it!

Hey, thanks! You know the old saying: "Write what you would want to read," and I like this sort of story myself...


Moondancer really deserves loving. Even more than Pre-Princess Twilight and Human SciTwi, she reminds me of myself.


Honestly? Me too.

That was a wonderfully written Twilight. Definitely looking forward to seeing more from you.

"Birth control in the water supply" is actually my Hogwarts School headcanon. I just ponified it, here.

(It's probably in the permission slips the parents sign in the admissions packages, anyway.)

The story gets you a like

the last line gets you a fav

Upon hearing her name wafting across the stacks, Celestia slipped off her formal metal shoes and began sneaking across the carpeted floor of the library. She let her sensitive alicorn nose guide her.

Oh no.

He tasted like old books. She spurted onto his face again, and he dug in even deeper with his tongue.

Ok, now I have to commend you for your unorthodox use of old books.

A small sleet storm--good, old-fashioned, freezing-cold pegasus magic--usually ended a session of public lovemaking most effectively.

You don't wanna do this, Princess.

Thank goodness for small favors, hmmm? Twilight truly was an excellent student.

I take back what I said. You be the comedic narrator, Princess. :pinkiehappy:

Looking at the floor, Twilight mumbled, "Nurse Sternheart had to remove a glass soda pop bottle from my... nethers... yesterday."

.... Ok.

"Eat my fillybits!"

"Oh! Oh! Heck, yes!"

Twilight's words and Almond's enthusiastic response makes their conversations hot.

Glad to help! Hope you enjoyed it overall.

This was hilarious. Well done.

That was funny! I love the difference between unicorn orgasms and other ponies, I was giggling. Glad almond pone got kinda fucked up with his ear and nuts, he was a lil douchy

Many thanks! I appreciate it.

Glad you enjoyed! He definitely was not the chillest pony ever, was he?

Not to be one of 'those' readers, but I must point out that you've stumbled on what could be a rather humorous series of stories focusing on the variety of the Mane 6's first encounters. I mean, now that you've established that heat has different effects on different types of ponies.

Oh yeah. I'm thinking about that! I also have quite a few other ideas first in the queue, though.

She sucked her own pheromones and pussy sploosh off his cheeks and her biggest, wettest, most brain-bending orgasm of all hit, her vision graying out and swirling with stars, a splash! sound echoing across the library as she soaked both their hips and tails and the floor below them, her channel tightening around him so hard that he gasped and shuddered and his eyes rolled up and he made a "sssssrrrnnnkkk" noise and then--oh! Oh!--magma, his massive wet magmatic fire suddenly inside her and squelching out of her as she kept pounding her hips up and down and up and down and their mixed juices making splort splort splort noises as she pistoned and she looked over her withers again at her own bottom and tail, and his thick white spew was going everywhere, good gracious that was a huge tremendous ejaculation, getting white spunk across her bottom and his balls and into both their tails and slicking her butthole and that actually felt kinda good, in a naughty way, getting her butthole coated with juicy spunk and generally making a wet sticky mess and " Oh sweet Celestia here I go again!" her entire body clenched as one last massive wave rushed across her, and this time a few sparks shot from her horn and it wasn't as gushy down below but it felt so good!

Um... would you... care to finish that sentence a little sooner? Paragraph-length sentences tend to be really hard to read, which in turn is really distracting.

Other than that, good job. This story was extremely sexy.

Enjoyed this very much - very hot.

Poor Almonds, got all bloody and brused his fist time. Usually you have to pay extra for that.

Hahahahaaaaaa. Twilight gives it out for free.

Anus to brain! We're starting to have second thoughts here!

Years later, Thunderlane made it worth the wait.


You want to know something?

My brain actually linked this story, that one line...to the R/C/T threesome's story one-line Twilight reference more than a year after reading this one.

I have no idea how. I read a LOT of pony.

Ha! Glad it stuck with you. I didn't even make the connection!

A very funny mix of sexy and awkward! Clearly, Twilight is a take-charge kind of mare in bed (or on library floor), too! :twilightsheepish:

Good thing Celestia didn't drop the sleet storm on them. I imagine it would have put Twilight off sex, or at least sex with stallions, for years. :twilightoops: :trollestia:

Many thanks for the comment! Glad you enjoyed.

Name doesn't check out

I know lol
I'm just astounded by the extent of her subconscious Twilighting

Thanks, that's definitely what I was going for!

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