• Member Since 30th Jun, 2019
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

AtomicClop


Because "fantasy erotica" sounds better than "cartoon horse porn."

Comments ( 33 )

Very cute, I approve of this ship!

10118876
Yay! Thank you! Aren't they adorable together?

10118879
Incredibly so, great choice :yay:

Hmmm! Terramar and Scootaloo? That's a new ship. I like it!

10119061
Thanks! I thought they would have good chemistry.

Totally digging the scootamar ship.

Holiday blushed and said, "Hippogriffs' naughty bits might be shaped like ponies' naughty bits, but they're twice our size or more."

This had me hurting so much just from the potential sympathy pains. Lol Not very many stories can do that. Thank you.

10120019
You're welcome! Thanks for reading.

A light-yellow hippogriff mare landed and picked Scootaloo up, spinning her even faster than Skystar had. "Scootalooooooo! Scootaloo! Scootaloo!"

Skystar should be changed to Silverstream. Bc Silverstream was the one who picked Scootaloo up before and Skystar who has just picked up Scootaloo. At least according to this quote:

"Skystar! I'm gonna throw up, I'm getting dizzy!"

Love will find a way :heart:

Very sweet and cuddly, just how I like it.
I liked all of the effort put on the build up too.

10121179
Big thanks! I appreciate it.

The best kind of smut is the kind packed full of genuine touchy-feely love. Well done.

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Sweetie Belle's teasing in the beginning is a nice note. It starts things with a bit of sexiness.
-The talk with her aunts is also very good for the story. It sets a more serious tone.
-Great job of ending each section of the buildup with a little sexy moment. It shows thought actually went into how you're pacing and structuring the scenes.
-From the several hours they had spent swimming as seaponies earlier that day -- wish we got to see that part, especially given how much Scootaloo liked being seapony on her first visit. (But yeah, it's already pushing the word count limit, so I can understand skipping it.)
-Might be a little heavy on dialog tags.
-Immersion score is hurt a little bit by cliches like Luna's full moon and Luna's night, as well as the occasional bizarre turn of phrase such as His magmatic spew
-Does a great job of turning what would be a crackfic-worthy random pairing into something really romantic and steamy.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 96/100
Allure: 98/100
Enticement: 87/100
Immersion: 84/100
Prose Quality: 92/100
Total Score: 457/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

10246401
Yay!
:yay:

Thank you! Much appreciated.

Holiday grinned. "We were nineteen and horny, once, too, ya know."

Okay, that alone justify the high score from the contest 👍

10256818
Wish mine got as high a vote, but good on you

Congratulations on winning Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
For the full results, check the Dirty Little Award Show.

This story won:

Foreplay
There's a lot more to sex than just sex! Your clopfic had the best non-clop scenes in it!

This was a great story, I hope you write a sequel to it.

10309857

Thanks! If I get a good idea, I will!

"Your asshole is winking at me," he said. "I didn't know it could do that."

Sounds like Terramar is cussing.

Okay, I admit, this was precious. I agree with DLS in that it would've been nice to get the seapony scene, wordcount permitting.

For some reason, I missed this back during the DLS's dirty little contest. Now that's fixed, and I have to say I really liked this. You definitely deserve that win for the best non-clop parts, and the story overall is excellent.

Some of my favorite bits are Scoot's aunts giving her good advice (and ibuprofen), Terramar being a squeaky horsebirb, and "suddenly, Silverstream!" at the train station.

10873905
Thanks!

Of everything I've written on this account, this one is my personal favorite. Glad you enjoyed.

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