• Published 29th Jun 2019
  • 946 Views, 20 Comments

Escalation - Krack-Fic Kai

Pinkie Pie has a crush. Her family overreacts.

  • ...

Chapter 5

Pinkie Pie was in a new headspace, and she didn't like it. Most of the time her brain was like a cauldron bubbling over, and all her thoughts and actions shot to the top and spilled everywhere. She liked that; Pinkie lived a life of passion and never looked back. Now that she had a crush, things were different. She needed a lid on that cauldron to keep anything from spilling out and burning Ruby, so it all just turned around and around without leaving.

Every time she thought about Ruby, she'd get stuck on that gleam she had in her eyes when she fought. And then her brain would supply her with every single antic she'd even indulged in and she'd wonder what Ruby would think was funny and what would bother her. Then Pinkie would get all nervous want to back off, but then she'd remember the way holding Ruby felt and begin to feel all gooey inside, which reminded her of the feelings she'd had for Whinney the Pooh and why she'd couldn't go back to Whinneyland. So, of course, she'd want to take a step back from Ruby because Ruby was pretty and passionate and smiled at everything like it was the sun and wouldn't be just amazing if she called Pinkie 'Sweetie Pie' and maybe twirled some of Pinkie's hair around her finger—

Pinkie stopped, lifted a large bucket of water, and dumped it on herself before continuing on.

She was heading to the church, she'd waited two days already and she was going to die if she didn't do something. Pinkie wasn't sure if she wanted to ask Ruby out on a date (She wasn't even sure if Ruby was into girls) but maybe she could find a reason to hang around the church? That wasn't super weird. She could volunteer at somethings that Ruby was doing, and maybe they could get a casual, friendly lunch and go to a friendly movie and maybe one day casually marry each-other without Ruby noticing?

Pinkie groaned, wishing she understood how people kept their feelings to themselves. Okay, be cool Pinkie. We just need to go to the church, see if there's anything I can volunteer at, speak a complete sentence to Ruby's face without tripping over myself, and go home. I can be me, I just can't be the me that can't talk or think in a straight line for the next fifteen minutes. Be normal. Nooooooormal.

Pinkie turned the corner and saw the park next to Ruby's church torn up almost half as bad as the church itself had been. Near the front she saw her best mom older sister Maud chewing out a giant monster she knew from experience was her jerk next older sister while her wise sage little sister awkwardly sat with the reason this planet bothered to get up in the morning Ruby Rose.

Pinkie closed her eyes. Being the Element of Laughter means this is supposed to happen to other people.

Being the 'never say die' sort of person, Pinkie attempted to casually stroll up to the group. Naturally, she couldn't remember what a casual stroll looked like when she was trying to think of it, so she ended up with this awkward march that no one noticed as she got closer.

"...And I don't need your fucking help!" Limestone declared.

Pinkie tried not to frown at her sister's distorted form, but it was hard. Her veins were huge and wrapped around muscles that almost didn't fit under her skin, she had huge fangs and sat hunched over like some kind of gargoyle. "Hey Limestone, what's going on?"

Limestone's expression didn’t change, but her voice went up an octave. "Maud, please help."

"Territorial dispute," Maud supplied.

"It’s was just a territorial dispute Pinkie, chill the frick out."

Pinkie's eyes narrowed. "What does that mean?"

Limestone swallowed, which was hard to do with all those teeth. "Maud, that didn't help."

"I'm not keeping secrets from Pinkie," Maud said flatly. "She terrifies me."

Pinkie wasn't going to get anything out of them, and she couldn't hold eye contact with Ruby very well, so she turned towards Marble and narrowed her eyes.

Marble glanced at Ruby and Limestone and shuffled away.

Pinkie gasped. "Limestone, how could you?"

"How could she what?" Sunny Dragon demanded. "What do you people want?"

"It's okay Pinkie," Ruby sadly said. "I know."

Pinkie's heart froze.

"Limestone was yelling at me about what happened at the church," Ruby continued. "So it was something that happened that night.

The rest of Pinkie's body froze.

"I mean, it's pretty obvious," Ruby prattled on. "You're mad at me because I beat you at a food fight, even though you're the Spirit of Laughter."

Pinkie's very soul froze, though the sudden shift from terror to befuddlement felt odd. Behind Ruby, Sunny was watching Pinkie's face and nudging Maud. She jerked her head towards Pinkie and Ruby and waggled her eyebrows.

Maud nodded.

Pinkie was wondering if she could trade her element in for something less dramatic. Generosity, maybe. "I— No, there's—"

Marble stepped forwards. "Mhm," she said, resting a comforting hand on Pinkie's shoulder.

"Marble makes a good point," Maud said. "I can explain everything to Ruby and her sister, you two should go talk about this."

They were barely out of earshot when Pinkie lay into Limestone. "What were you thinking?"

"I was just trying to help!"

"How could this possibly be helpful? How'd you even know? How obvious is it? Who else knows?" Pinkie's tone, which had started out angry, slowly flowed towards panic as more and more worries set in.

Marble reached out and squeezed her hand. "Mhm."

"Marble only told us, and we haven't told anyone," Limestone said. "I don't think Mom and Dad saw the video— and I don't think Ruby knows anything."

"Okay, but what if they figure it out now? What if Maud doesn't explain it well enough?"

"It's Maud, Pinkie. Chill the— frick out." Limestone sighed. Her magic was beginning to wear off and her form was shrinking. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I might have come on a bit strong..."

Marble didn't even say anything, she just put a hand on her hips and looked at her.

"...And, and," she continued, "I'll be more careful in the future. Okay? I'm just trying to look out for you."

"I don't need to be looked out for, Limestone? Why can't you trust me?"


Pinkie stamped her foot. "That was one time."

"You got a restraining order from something that wasn't real."

Pinkie sputtered. "Yeah— but come on! Plenty of people have those now, tons of weird stuff has come to life."

"You did it before that was normal," Limestone pointed out.

"Mh-hm," Marble agreed.

"Oh don't you start," Pinkie said, "You weren't even with us that time. And I'm not a kid anymore, okay? I'm the Spirit of Laughter! I can handle a crush."

"I'm not saying— Grah!" Limestone threw up her hands. "Look, I love you, okay? You're my baby sister."

Marble glared.

"My most baby-like sister."

"That's not better," Pinkie Pie pointed out.

"You know what I mean! I just... she's got this whole church thing and she's some kind of hunter and... And I wanted to make sure she was good for you. That's all."

"Hm," Marble added, hugging Pinkie. "Mmm."

Pinkie sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry I shouted. Can you promise that you won't assault anyone I fall in love with," she hesitated, "Unless I expressly ask you too?"

"That's fair."

"Hm," Marble added fiercely.

Pinkie smiled at her sisters. "Thanks, girls."

They stood quietly for a moment, basking in the sisterly love.

Limestone spoke up. "You're stalling because you're scared to talk to Ruby."

"Ohmygosh yes what if she doesn't talk to me ever again?"

"It wasn't your fault," Limestone said. "Why wouldn't she talk to you?"

"I don't know and I'm freaking out."

"Hmm!" Marble pulled Pinkie into another hug. "Hm. Hmm."

Pinkie relaxed as Marble stroked her hair. "Sorry, I just— I really want this to work out."

Limestone frowned. "Don't take this the wrong way, but why do you care this much about her?"

"Because she kicked my ass," Pinkie said dreamily.

Marble didn't stop hugging Pinkie, but she looked confused. Limestone blinked. "Is that a thing for you? Because that's okay, but—"

"Nonononono," Pinkie frantically explained. "No, it's— Look. You know how I'm the Spirit of Laughter?"

Limestone crossed her arms. "No, I've never even heard of any of your friends."

"Shut up. It lets me do anything I want so long as it’s funny. So to make it work, I need a really, really good understanding of what funny is. Like," Pinkie closed her eyes and concentrated, "like, I can't just pull out a hammer and hit you in the face. I need you to be cocky, or a funny thing to say, and then I can pull it out. And no matter how good you are at fighting, when I swing it will smack you in the face because that's slapstick, but I have to believe it'll work, because if I don't believe enough I can't set it off, but if I get to cocky then I’ll get hit in the face back because comedy goes both ways and—" She huffed. "This is so frustrating!"

Limestone shifted uncomfortably. "I think I get it..."

"No, my point is Ruby does get it. That's why she beat me. She kept turning my jokes around on me, or dodging the punchline... She even had this whole speech about how Laughter wasn't just about Comedy as much as Entertainment, and then she played some anime song and turned this soda machine into a big bomb and threw it at my head and..." Pinkie sighed and realized at some point she'd begun to swoon and stood up straight. Marble let her go but held onto Pinkie's hand. "She understands me, Limestone. Do you know how many people actually understand me?"

Limestone didn't meet Pinkie's eyes. "Wow. That's... really sappy and stuff. But in a good way, like," she waved her hands in a way that greatly resembled her sister. "You know?"

Pinkie snorted. "Yeah. I know." She sighed. "Do you think Maud's come up with anything?"

Limestone shrugged. "Give her a few more minutes. Her sister seems pretty cool, I think she'll help."

Marble raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"She's not that cool, it was a lucky supplex," Limestone insisted. "A cool but lucky supplex. Point is I'm sure she'll roll with it."

"Good." Pinkie sighed. "I know we don't see each other as often as we used to, but I'm glad you've got my back."


Author's Note:

I'm the Spirit of Laughter! I can handle a crush.

To anyone who hasn't yet read the sequel...

You cannot comprehend how ironic that sentence is. I don't care what you have in your head, the real story will be better.

Also, wow I missed a lot proofreading this.

Comments ( 9 )

So many good things! So many good changes from the original!

Whoo! Expanding on Laughter Powers!

Ruby as Substitute Laughter?? I can't fanfic how...



Sequal > sequel

I dunno if she could be a Substitute Laughter—I'm not sure how it works. Its a cool idea!

Sequal > sequel

For Pete's sake...
I do not grammar well.

I like that I spent almost ten or so pages getting to Twilight giving a long breakdown of how magic and her emotional state work and you get Pinkie to do the same thing with her deal in a few lines.

This is a wonderful sisters chapter.

Thank you! Comedy is easier to explain.

Note that the local animation-company-inspired theme park is Whinnyland, borrowing from the comics rather than the Continuum.

You forgot some important strikethroughs in the paragraph where Pinkie describes her sisters and Ruby.

"I'm not keeping secrets from Pinkie," Maud said flatly. "She terrifies me."

"There are people who attend this church who worship her. For good reason."

Brilliant reason for why Pinkie fell for Ruby. It's the foundation of the Cheesepie ship applied to another viable candidate. Thank you for adding to the madness of this world in the best way.

"Subsititute" Elemental embodiments work about as well as transplanting organs. Sure, it's possible, but some are easier to replace than others, you need to do a lot to avoid catastrophic rejection, and you should only do it if the originals are damaged beyond recovery.

I can’t wait for the sequel, because this level of Pie is perfection. And I love the explanation for both laughter magic and how she knows Ruby understands her.

I linked the sequal in the notes.

Author Interviewer

I sorely wish you had made this accessible to people who don't know what you're crossing over with. The link in the first chapter explained absolutely nothing.

Oh No, you were reviewing it.

FoME has a story called Group Precipitation that anyone can submit chapters to. This was going to be in that, but Masterweaver wrote a story for the ship using several of his scenes and I had to post this as my own story instead. Which isn't a defense per say, but it's not necessarily indicative of my work.

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