Pinkie Pie finds herself unsure how to act after falling for another girl. While she tries to sort out her feelings, her sisters decide to check this girl out and see what makes her so special.
Things escalate.
Strong language warning, at least compared to my usual stuff. Part of the Oversaturated World. Original story here. Probably won't make sense without context. Sequal already begun here.
The initial night of the meeting was neither dark nor stormy, so it had to be put off. They had to wait days, for this was a serious meeting, and once a sufficiently dark and stormy night blew across Canterlot, Pinkie Pie and Ruby Rose stared at each other wearing their serious faces.
They sat down on a park bench that should have been cloaked in shadow, but municipals had gotten around to fixing the street light. Ruby kicked her legs in annoyance but didn’t say anything. After all, real spy missions had tons of things go terribly wrong and she could endure some pleasant light. Electing to make the best of it, Ruby lowered her voice and growled, “Do you have it?”
Pinkie Pie, wearing a leather jacket and black fedora, shrugged and looked away. “Maybe I do and maybe I don’t, see?” She said. “Depends on if you’re as good as your word, see?”
Ruby snorted in what she hoped was a cynical manner. “Don’t insult me. This is the good stuff.” She patted the food tray on her lap. “30 chocolate chip cookies shaped like shot glasses. You can load these boys up with as much milk as you want and…” she bit her lip, “like, eat them and stuff. How does my uncle talk like this all the time?"
“You’re just trying a bit to hard,” Pinkie said. “You don’t want to overreach. Stop at ‘as much milk as you want,’ and smirk or something. For fun I make a cheat sheet of stuff I can use when I’m doing a bit. You wanna see sometime?”
“That sounds like fun!” Ruby said, before returning back to character. “But I ain’t here for fun. Do you have the Intel?”
Pinkie looked down at the cigarette case in her hand. She slowly pulled out a lollipop, taking the time to enjoy the first lick, before she smiled and answered. “The Nineteenth of June. That's their anniversary. The night it all began. In the afternoon.”
Not wanting to be out-toughed, Ruby took out her hip-flask and downed a shot of milk. “You're sure?”
Pinkie glared at the girl. “Hey, I’m a business woman. I sell goods, see? And if my goods ain’t good, then that’s bad for business, and I don’t do bad business. See?”
“…Yeah,” Ruby bluffed. “Clear as crystal. The deed is done, then. Sunset Shimmer will never see it comi—“
“Is something happening?”
Both girls leapt off their bench and screamed as Sunset Shimmer appeared behind them. “Sorry!” Sunset exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to scare you, but I do a check when certain people say my name, and it's late and you two weren't home, and I got… worried… actually, what are you two doing?”
“NOTHING SUSPICIOUS,” Pinkie said as she pulled Ruby up from her supplicating pose. “We were… not being suspicious at night all alone because… we’re secretly in love?” Ruby squeaked uselessly as Pinkie shifted her grip from around her shoulder to around her waist. “And we wanted to keep it away from the public because of how the church would freak out and it’s just so romantic how can you not sympathize with us?”
Sunset thought about Pinkie Pie’s best impression of Rarity for a moment. “You’re desperately in love with Ruby?”
“More than, like, the stars? Stars are romantic.”
“Uh-huh. And you’re completely obsessed with her?”
Pinkie carefully trembled her bottom lip. “I don’t know if I can live without her, Sunset—“
“What’s her full name?”
Pinkie opened her mouth.
Her brain, normally incredibly reliable, informed her that she’d never been told Ruby’s last name, it was funnier if she didn't know, and that she was on her own.
Pinkie closed her mouth.
Desperately, her eyes roamed the park for anything useful. Her eyes settled on a flowerbed, and most specifically on the gorgeous red rose in the center.
“Ruby Garden,” she said confidently.
Ruby covered her face with her hands, and without missing a beat Pinkie dove onward. “Is what I call her because of her love of gardening because we have cute pet names now and aren’t we precious?”
“You don’t actually think I’m buying this?”
“Okay, what if we kissed romantically?” Ruby squeaked as Pinkie dipped her and stared soulfully into her eyes, a rose clenched in her teeth. “En realidad no hablo español, Ruby Garden. Grande Amore.”
Ruby blushed, and Pinkie was surprised to feel a slight shiver in her chest. She leaned towards Ruby's lips—
“Okay!” Ruby interrupted. She pushed herself to her feet, looked at Sunset and nearly bowed again, but Sunset’s expression stopped her. “Um… your gloriousness—“
“It’s two o’clock in the morning,” Sunset said, “please talk normally.”
“R-right… so we at the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse were looking for a way to expand our calendar beyond our initial holidays celebrating you.”
Sunset closed her eyes and forced herself to remember that this counted as normal speech.
“And since we don’t know when your birthday is (yet,) Pinkie approached us with a… romantic option—“
“She made me tell her when your anniversary was!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“What?” Ruby whirled around glared up at the taller girl. “I did not! You took that bribe fair and square!”
“They were shot-glass cookies! That’s not fair and you know it! Its like expecting Sunset not to give in every time Twilight takes her hand and makes eye contact for longer than two seconds.”
“It's not… every time,” Sunset weakly offered, but the two girls ignored her.
“Well,” an affronted Ruby said, “Fine then! We’ll plan the celebration without you!”
Pinkie gasped. “You can’t properly plan a perfect party without Pinkie Pie present!"
"Watch me!" Ruby said. "I can do anything you do, better!"
Pinkie's eyes narrowed. "You’re not half the Genki Girl I am!”
“Oh yeah?” Ruby declared. “I’m energetic! I’m fun! I’m super cute with pretty eyes!”
Pinkie blinked, momentarily thrown off. "You think my eyes are pretty?"
“And I’ll get this done myself!” Ruby declared, before dramatically running away.
“I hope you're happy Sunset!” Pinkie shouted. “You’ve destroyed a relationship that lasted for a whole minute!”
Sunset stared at Pinkie as she ran away, before turning to look at Ruby’s steadily retreating form.
Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose and didn't look up. She couldn't look up. The sound and smell were bad enough.
She heard Ruby shift uncomfortably. "Okay, I know this looks bad—"
Sunset raised her hand. Ruby stopped talking. Pinkie stepped forwards. "No, you can't be mad at Ruby 'cause—"
"No no," Sunset said, "Still processing. Sh."
There was a long stretch of silence. Neither of the girls risked moving. There was a chance they'd stopped breathing. With a reluctant sigh, Sunset opened her eyes.
Proportionally speaking, there wasn't that much fire. The banquet hall was a huge, cavernous room that could fit thousands, and the fire only really extended to a few tables and some wallpaper. Of course, that cavernous room was filled with scattered rubble, the shattered pillars, and an alarming amount of smashed food, so maybe it felt like there was more fire because of how crowded it was. "One at a time. Explain. Now."
Ruby, the girl who'd formed a whole movement around prostrating herself ironically to someone else to make that person feel better about the people who meant it, looked abashed. "Heh heh... Well, we kinda were fighting over who was the best at throwing celebrations."
Pinkie, the girl who'd needed someone to explain what humiliate actually meant, bit her lip. "While we... ya know, did that, there was... a pie thrown by... someone..."
There was another stretch of silence, filled with Ruby hoping that Pinkie would finish that part of the story and Pinkie trying to form words.
Sunset didn't have an expression. An expression would have been less scary.
Ruby coughed. "Things sorta... escalated."
With a creaking groan, part of the roof behind them caved in. Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"
Both girls flinched. Sunset had moved into sarcasm. Sarcastic Sunset did bad things to people. Heaven help them if she moved into irony.
Ruby drew in a deep breath." Okay, so I think the whole fight is on Ewetube, so I thought I could sorta gloss over that—"
"Oh, would you like to gloss over that?" Sunset asked. "Would you like to gloss over the pie tins that you've somehow embedded in the stone wall? Would you like to gloss over thousands of dollars of food you've wasted? Are you glossing over everything you've set on fire? How do you set fires in a food fight?"
"Well, it's got something to do with friction—"
Sunset held out her hand. Ruby stopped talking. "I can't believe you challenged Pinkie Pie to a food fight! You could have been hurt—"
"Actually." Pinkie interrupted, "She kicked my ass."
This pulled Sunset up short for several reasons. Firstly, Pinkie had interrupted her, and Pinkie had just leveled a part of Sunset's church. But Pinkie had also said that someone had beaten her in a food fight, and that didn't happen. Not to mention that was the first complete sentence Pinkie had said, when normally Pinkie would be outright assaulting logic in an attempt to get out of trouble. And come to think of it, since when did Pinkie swear? And—
Sunset's eyes narrowed. Pinkie had been quiet for most of this conversation and made a point of avoiding Sunset's eyes. That was to be expected, but she also kept looking at Ruby and then looking at the floor. She shifted uncomfortably. She nervously chewed on her lip. She caught herself looking at Ruby again—
No way. Sunset looked back at Ruby, who had flushed crimson at Pinkie's praise. "You beat Pinkie in a fight?"
"I mean..." Ruby said. "I studied the Elements a lot, and Laughter was always really interesting."
"Mhm," Sunset said as she watched Pinkie perk up.
"And I train all the time!" Ruby said. "We're fighting against monsters and stuff, and Sunny's coaching us and I've gotten really strong! See?" She flexed her arm and Pinkie's eyes trailed her thin but developing biceps.
"Right," Sunset said. "Pinkie, do you have anything to add?"
"Well," Pinkie said, "I mean, no, that's pretty much it, yeah."
Pinkie Pie is having trouble forming coherent sentences. Pinkie Pie.
Sweet Celestia she's been twitterpated.
"Well," Sunset said, "That must have been an amazing fight, Ruby. It'd take a lot to impress Pinkie this much."
"...Thank you?" Ruby said slowly, not noticing how Pinkie's gaze began dancing away from her and around the room in an attempt to find something not-embarrassing to look at. "Does this mean you're done yelling and stuff?"
Sunset sighed. "Tell you what: the two of you clean this up and we're cool."
"Oh!" Ruby looked at the rubble and food was strewn across a structure that was big enough to house a circus troop and swallowed. "Uh, how long—"
"As long as it takes." With a gesture, the fires smothered themselves, the roof reversed and formed back into one solid ceiling, and the more dangerous piles of rubble were dumped in a sector of space Sunset used as a junkyard when she felt lazy. "So! Brooms and mops are in the janitors closet, trash cans and bags are over there, and I think you can see where the mess is?"
Both girls nodded glumly. Sunset wasn't going to make them clean the whole thing up; both of them would feel bad enough that they'd work themselves late, and then Sunset could be impressed by their dedication and do the rest herself in the morning.
You know, I never expected you to call one of these meetings. You're not really the proactive one."
"Mmm."
"Yeah, I know. Hey, Maud, you know what this is about?"
"No."
"Do you have a fu--freakin' guess?"
"Yes."
"Would you like to tell me what your guess is?"
"I think that Marble should tell us."
"Mmmhmmm."
"Fine, whatever! What's taking you so long?"
"She's making sure our video chat is secure. That nobody unscrupulous can listen in on us."
"Mmhmm."
"Right, you always were the tech-savvy one..."
"Mmm!"
"Does that mean we're safe?"
"Mmmhmm."
"F--Friggin' finally. Come on, Marble, spill!"
"Mmh."
"...A picture of Pinkie? Marble, what--wait, who's that with her?"
"That would be Ruby Rose. The pope of the church of the Divine Bacon Horse."
"I... guess that makes sense? I mean Pinkie's one of Sunset's friends, so of course the shimmerists are going to take interest in her--"
"Mm-mm."
"Marble's right, Limestone. That's not what's going on here. Well, not all that's going on."
"Really, then what the f--? Hold on. Hold on, that smile. That's not Pinkie's ordinary smile."
"Mmmhmmmmm..."
"...you're fucking with me."
"And you were doing so well."
"Shut it, Maud. Marble, are you sure about this?"
"Hrrrrrm... mmhmmm."
"Well... shit. I mean, I'm happy for her and all, but who the hell is Ruby to date our sister?"
"I don't think they're dating yet."
"What, seriously?"
"Mmhmm."
"Wow. Not like Pinkie to show restraint when it comes to what she wants. You think she's serious about this?"
"Maybe. After her previous... daliances--"
"What, like that time she was seven and proclaimed her love for the theme park mascot?"
"--I would not be surprised if she was unwilling to risk alienating the object of her affections."
"Mhm."
"...Hell, now I don't know what to do. I mean, I want her happy, but I'm so used to seeing her as my baby sister--"
"HRMPH!"
"Oh come on, Marble, you were always more mature then she was."
"That is... a little harsh, Limestone."
"Yeah, but it's true. Whatever. Look my point is, I want to vet this Ruby chick. Personally. Dunno when I'm going to get a break from work, but I'll be in town soon as I can. What do mom and dad think?"
"...mmmmmm...."
"What do you mean they don't know?!"
"I'm actually not surprised. They are a loving set of parents, but they can be very traditional. Pinkie moved in with me to get away from them, do you think she would appreciate it if any of us told them about her love life without her permission?"
"...fuck, you're right. Man, was it only a few years ago we were all under one roof?"
"Mmm."
"Well... whatever. Look, when I get to town, we'll vet this Ruby chick, then we'll decide how we're going to help Pinkie and whether to tell mom and dad."
"Hmm."
"Very well. Ah, Pinkie's driving in now. Marble, get rid of that picture so we can have a normal sister chat."
Marble Pie wasn't a very confrontational person, and neither was she a talkative one. It wasn't that she disliked people; she simply preferred them at a distance. So while she wanted to go and talk to Ruby about Pinkie Pie’s crush, she had to wait for one of her sisters to come with her and do the actual talking part of a talk. It was a sensible, logical thing to do.
Marble repeated that to herself as she watched Limestone grow more and more frustrated with Ruby. It didn’t help.
“—And why was she so tired last night? What were you two doing?”
“Scrubbing the floor,” an increasingly confused Ruby said. “I went home sore too, I spend all last night on my knees. Who are you again?”
Limestone gritted her teeth. “I’m your worst nightmare.”
Ruby gasped. “You’re a human/angst monster hybrid shapeshifter here to ruin all my friendships so I’ll turn evil?”
“No, I’m…” Even after living with Pinkie forever, Limestone felt throw off. “Shit, is that a thing?”
Ruby shrugged. “I mean, not yet but…”
“Whatever. Look,” Limestone tried to take a step forwards, but Marble grabbed her hand pulled her back. “Look,” she tried again. “I know you’re some kind of a warrior priestess—“
“Actually that's warrior pope—”
“I don’t care!” Limestone pulled her hand out of Marbles and got in Ruby’s personal space. “I don’t care why your obsessed with Sunset and her friends, or what your game is, you are going to cool it right the fuck—“
“Hey!”
Ruby’s expression became one of relief. Limestone rolled her eyes and turned around to shout at whoever dared interrupt one of her rants.
She looked up.
She looked up some more.
The woman standing before them looked like an explosion given human form. Her long blonde hair shined like flames, and every move radiated strength. On each arm, she wore gauntlets that Marble knew from the internet were named Ember Celica and worked like shotguns. She took off her sunglasses and glared at Limestone. “Is there a problem here?”
"Nothing that concerns you," Limestone snapped. "So move on!"
"Oh, I'm feeling concerned. I feel very, very concerned." The woman took off her sunglasses and glared at Limestone like she was going to melt her. "Maybe you should move on."
"Hey, I've got a personal beef with your bitch of—"
Limestone didn't mean very much by the remark. She swore a lot and described anyone who wasn't family and annoyed her as 'bitch' as a warm-up before she got truly insulting. Most people didn't appreciate this and could, for example, use that as an excuse to deck her.
The woman turned back from Limestone's dazed form and eyed up Marble. Ruby was letting the girl hide behind her cloak so she didn't deem her a threat. "What's the loudmouth's deal?"
"I dunno Sunny, she's weird! Something about my fight with Pinkie and—"
Limestone kicked Sunny's legs out from under her and dove on top of her. Sunny caught her with her legs and kicked her overhead. Limestone scrambled to her feet and pointed at Sunny.
The ground began to rumble as Limestone's magic called upon the power of the earth. Jagged chunks of rock shot through the ground and flew at Sunny's head.
She ducked under the first, sidestepped a second, and then simply punched through the third. She fired one of her gauntlets at Limestone. The recoil shook her arm, but the fireball smacked Limestone away. "Let's dance!"
Ruby flinched as the fight began in earnest. "So, you're Pinkie Pie's sister, right? Marble?"
"Mm." The girl was short enough that Ruby could have looked her in the eyes if Marble would meet them. She stared at the ground tugged at her sleeves as she ignored the angry shouting and wanton destruction.
"Stand still and fight!"
"Stop sucking first!"
"Soooo Marble, you wanna tell me who the weirdo is?" Ruby wondered if calling someone weird was hypocritical. Even if it is, she decided, I can use my powers as pope of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse to declare it un-weird.
Marble looked away. "Mhmm."
"That's great. This isn't weird at all." Ruby ran her hands through her hair and wondered if this was what Sunset felt like all the time. "Should I call Pinkie?"
"MM!" Marble waved her arms frantically and shook her head like a deranged action figure. "Mmmm mrm!"
"Whoa, jeez!" Ruby took a step back. "Look, I'm putting the phone away, okay? But we need someone to keep them from leveling the park."
Marble nodded and pulled out her phone. Ruby tried to peek over her shoulder but Marble moved away. "Fine," Ruby stamped her foot which wasn’t immature because she was the pope and she said so. "I'll go over here and... help Sunny."
With a crash Sunny skidded to a stop in front of them. She pushed herself up and spat dirt out of her mouth. "Lucky shot," she growled.
"Come over here and lemme show you how lucky I am!" Limestone shouted from the far end of the park. With a gesture, the rock farmer raised a stone wall between the two. "Bring it!
Ruby unfolded Crescent Rose, but Sunny waved her back. "I got this. She strong but she's green." Sunny rose to her feet and spat out blood. She loosened her shoulders and snapped her gauntlets into place. "Showtime."
She triggered Ember Celica as she moved, sending her flying forwards. She twisted as she floated over the ground, touching down just long enough to get traction to vault over the wall. Limestone squawked as Sunny came down towards her and dove underground.
Sunny crashed with enough force to leave a crater and rattle her teeth, but Limestone was already gone. A cloud of dust stung her eyes, and she coughed. "You can't hide forever," she called as she tried to move free. "I mean, you can't even breathe down there—"
There was a low rumble, and before she could react, the ground under Sunny feet heaved her into the air. "You're only as strong as the ground under your feet!" Limestone shouted.
Oh sweetie. Sunny let herself go loose as she flipped backward and waited. Limestone could let her splat, but she was too much like Sunny used to be. Sure enough, Limestone flew towards her on a stone pillar, raising a gigantic stone bat in both hands. "How’s this for luck?"
Sunny waited until the girl over-committed to the swing before moving. She triggered her gauntlets again, flying under the swing and smashing into the pillar with a loud crunch!
Limestone shouted as the pillar broke in half, and desperately brought up a second platform to land on. She hit her arm when she landed and winced as pain shot up her arm. As she pulled herself to her feet she heard a second impact behind her.
"Hey," Sunny Little Dragon said in her ear.
What Limestone said was unprintable.
Limestone tried to drive her elbow into Sunny's face, but she ducked the blow and sucker-punched her in the stomach. She doubled over, and Sunny's knee came up snapped her head back with a wham! She followed it up with a right jab, but Limestone caught it and nailed her with a right cross. She stepped closer to hit Sunny again, but the blonde bombshell ducked around her and grabbed her under the chest. “You wanna know what a Supplex is?”
Sunny backflipped off the pillar, holding Limestone in her arms. The older Pie sister watched the ground rise up to meet her. Maybe this will be one of those things that doesn't hurt until I wake up later?
It was not.
"Hmrm!" Marble squeaked with a wince.
"Yeah," Ruby agreed, "that had to hurt."
Sunny dusted off her gauntlets, watching as Limestone pushed herself up and shook her head. "Right... look, kiddo, I don't know what you've got against my little sister, but you're clearly outmatched. If you walk away now--"
"You're good..." Limestone grunted, wiping some blood off her lips. "Fight a lot of monsters?"
"Yeah, I do."
The gray woman looked up with a smirk. "What do you know, I do too."
She rose her arm, and Sunny had a brief moment to notice how some blood seemed to slither into strange patterns on her jade bracer.
Limestone stood up, cricking her neck. "Course, most of the fuckers I fight aren't dumb beasts hopped up on hate magic. No, they're the real kind of monsters--you know, people who've decided they're more important than anybody else." She rolled her shoulders, bringing out a pendant and spitting blood onto it. "They tend to get a little arrogant, think that once a bitch starts bleeding, they're down for the count."
Sunny shook herself, taking a ready stance--though her eyes widened as she watched the other girl's muscles twist, thickening to grotesque proportions until they barley fit under her skin. She grew, slowly getting larger until she stood twice as tall and three times as broad as Sunny. "O...kay..."
"Yeah. Thing is, you're not a monster. Can't even really call you a bitch. So as much fun as I'm having, I'm going to have to end this quickly." Limestone braced herself, showing off her now catlike teeth with a reddened grin. "Come on, girlie. Show me what you've really got."
For one tense moment, the two of them glared across the park at each other.
"...Hey! Thing about the monsters I fight?" Sunny smirked. "Can't be intimidated."
"What's your point?"
"I'm an actual fighter. You're just a performer with a few tricks." She flipped her hair. "How's life in Cirque De Soile, anyway?"
Limestone growled, and the ground under her feet shook again. Sunny was forced into the air, but instead of flying straight up she at an angle towards Limestone and more specifically her fist.
WHAM!
Sunny flew back and slammed into a rock wall. It slanted backward for a split second before Sunny was flung forwards again.
This time, she had time to see the smug look on Limestone’s face.
WHAM!
“Sunny!” Ruby exclaimed. “Use your gauntlets—“
WHAM!
“Or sorta twist away from—“
WHAM!
"Stop letting her punch you!”
WHAM!
Sunny managed to bring herself around and punched through the stone wall. She hit the ground and bounced, landing at the edge of the park. Her head swam and she felt nausea creep around her torso. Before she could recover, the ground shifted again.
Another platform rose into the air as Sunny tried to get to her feet. She lost her footing again as Limestone landed over-top of her. “Alright bitch,” she growled through cat-like teeth, “who's getting lucky now?”
“Not you, unless you’re willing to buy me dinner first.” Sunny rolled around Limestone’s furious punch and off the pillar. She grabbed ahold of the ledge and flung herself up and over Limestone’s head. Limestone started to turn, but even with her increased strength, her distorted form wasn’t quick or graceful. As she came down behind Limestone she fired her gauntlets again, tackling the titan and reaching her arms around her neck. “Didn’t we just do this?”
This time Sunny saw stars when they hit the ground, but she grimly hung on. Limestone gagged and gasped for breath as Sunny’s grip chocked her. She tried to throw herself backward, but Sunny got her legs underneath her and held them both up.
The ground behind them shook as another flat wall rose, ad Sunny was slammed into it full force. Pain snapped across her back and head, but she held on. Limestone went to throw herself again—
"Stop."
The wall abruptly turned to sand, and Sunny tumbled through. It parted enough to let her through and solidified to keep Limestone away from her. More jets of sand erupted from the ground, twisting around Limestone's arms and transforming into stone. She fell to her knees.
A tall woman with long her and an expression that Sunny couldn't categorize as intense or bored strode across the field. "I'm sorry about this," she said. "My name is Maud Pie. I wish to talk." Limestone shifted in her bonds, only stopping when she saw Maud's Look. "Calmly talk, if that is possible."
Pinkie Pie was in a new headspace, and she didn't like it. Most of the time her brain was like a cauldron bubbling over, and all her thoughts and actions shot to the top and spilled everywhere. She liked that; Pinkie lived a life of passion and never looked back. Now that she had a crush, things were different. She needed a lid on that cauldron to keep anything from spilling out and burning Ruby, so it all just turned around and around without leaving.
Every time she thought about Ruby, she'd get stuck on that gleam she had in her eyes when she fought. And then her brain would supply her with every single antic she'd even indulged in and she'd wonder what Ruby would think was funny and what would bother her. Then Pinkie would get all nervous want to back off, but then she'd remember the way holding Ruby felt and begin to feel all gooey inside, which reminded her of the feelings she'd had for Whinney the Pooh and why she'd couldn't go back to Whinneyland. So, of course, she'd want to take a step back from Ruby because Ruby was pretty and passionate and smiled at everything like it was the sun and wouldn't be just amazing if she called Pinkie 'Sweetie Pie' and maybe twirled some of Pinkie's hair around her finger—
Pinkie stopped, lifted a large bucket of water, and dumped it on herself before continuing on.
She was heading to the church, she'd waited two days already and she was going to die if she didn't do something. Pinkie wasn't sure if she wanted to ask Ruby out on a date (She wasn't even sure if Ruby was into girls) but maybe she could find a reason to hang around the church? That wasn't super weird. She could volunteer at somethings that Ruby was doing, and maybe they could get a casual, friendly lunch and go to a friendly movie and maybe one day casually marry each-other without Ruby noticing?
Pinkie groaned, wishing she understood how people kept their feelings to themselves. Okay, be cool Pinkie. We just need to go to the church, see if there's anything I can volunteer at, speak a complete sentence to Ruby's face without tripping over myself, and go home. I can be me, I just can't be the me that can't talk or think in a straight line for the next fifteen minutes. Be normal. Nooooooormal.
Pinkie turned the corner and saw the park next to Ruby's church torn up almost half as bad as the church itself had been. Near the front she saw her best mom older sister Maud chewing out a giant monster she knew from experience was her jerk next older sister while her wise sage little sister awkwardly sat with the reason this planet bothered to get up in the morning Ruby Rose.
Pinkie closed her eyes. Being the Element of Laughter means this is supposed to happen to other people.
Being the 'never say die' sort of person, Pinkie attempted to casually stroll up to the group. Naturally, she couldn't remember what a casual stroll looked like when she was trying to think of it, so she ended up with this awkward march that no one noticed as she got closer.
"...And I don't need your fucking help!" Limestone declared.
Pinkie tried not to frown at her sister's distorted form, but it was hard. Her veins were huge and wrapped around muscles that almost didn't fit under her skin, she had huge fangs and sat hunched over like some kind of gargoyle. "Hey Limestone, what's going on?"
Limestone's expression didn’t change, but her voice went up an octave. "Maud, please help."
"Territorial dispute," Maud supplied.
"It’s was just a territorial dispute Pinkie, chill the frick out."
Pinkie's eyes narrowed. "What does that mean?"
Limestone swallowed, which was hard to do with all those teeth. "Maud, that didn't help."
"I'm not keeping secrets from Pinkie," Maud said flatly. "She terrifies me."
Pinkie wasn't going to get anything out of them, and she couldn't hold eye contact with Ruby very well, so she turned towards Marble and narrowed her eyes.
Marble glanced at Ruby and Limestone and shuffled away.
Pinkie gasped. "Limestone, how could you?"
"How could she what?" Sunny Dragon demanded. "What do you people want?"
"It's okay Pinkie," Ruby sadly said. "I know."
Pinkie's heart froze.
"Limestone was yelling at me about what happened at the church," Ruby continued. "So it was something that happened that night.
The rest of Pinkie's body froze.
"I mean, it's pretty obvious," Ruby prattled on. "You're mad at me because I beat you at a food fight, even though you're the Spirit of Laughter."
Pinkie's very soul froze, though the sudden shift from terror to befuddlement felt odd. Behind Ruby, Sunny was watching Pinkie's face and nudging Maud. She jerked her head towards Pinkie and Ruby and waggled her eyebrows.
Maud nodded.
Pinkie was wondering if she could trade her element in for something less dramatic. Generosity, maybe. "I— No, there's—"
Marble stepped forwards. "Mhm," she said, resting a comforting hand on Pinkie's shoulder.
"Marble makes a good point," Maud said. "I can explain everything to Ruby and her sister, you two should go talk about this."
They were barely out of earshot when Pinkie lay into Limestone. "What were you thinking?"
"I was just trying to help!"
"How could this possibly be helpful? How'd you even know? How obvious is it? Who else knows?" Pinkie's tone, which had started out angry, slowly flowed towards panic as more and more worries set in.
Marble reached out and squeezed her hand. "Mhm."
"Marble only told us, and we haven't told anyone," Limestone said. "I don't think Mom and Dad saw the video— and I don't think Ruby knows anything."
"Okay, but what if they figure it out now? What if Maud doesn't explain it well enough?"
"It's Maud, Pinkie. Chill the— frick out." Limestone sighed. Her magic was beginning to wear off and her form was shrinking. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I might have come on a bit strong..."
Marble didn't even say anything, she just put a hand on her hips and looked at her.
"...And, and," she continued, "I'll be more careful in the future. Okay? I'm just trying to look out for you."
"I don't need to be looked out for, Limestone? Why can't you trust me?"
"Whinnyland."
Pinkie stamped her foot. "That was one time."
"You got a restraining order from something that wasn't real."
Pinkie sputtered. "Yeah— but come on! Plenty of people have those now, tons of weird stuff has come to life."
"You did it before that was normal," Limestone pointed out.
"Mh-hm," Marble agreed.
"Oh don't you start," Pinkie said, "You weren't even with us that time. And I'm not a kid anymore, okay? I'm the Spirit of Laughter! I can handle a crush."
"I'm not saying— Grah!" Limestone threw up her hands. "Look, I love you, okay? You're my baby sister."
Marble glared.
"My most baby-like sister."
"That's not better," Pinkie Pie pointed out.
"You know what I mean! I just... she's got this whole church thing and she's some kind of hunter and... And I wanted to make sure she was good for you. That's all."
"Hm," Marble added, hugging Pinkie. "Mmm."
Pinkie sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry I shouted. Can you promise that you won't assault anyone I fall in love with," she hesitated, "Unless I expressly ask you too?"
"That's fair."
"Hm," Marble added fiercely.
Pinkie smiled at her sisters. "Thanks, girls."
They stood quietly for a moment, basking in the sisterly love.
Limestone spoke up. "You're stalling because you're scared to talk to Ruby."
"Ohmygosh yes what if she doesn't talk to me ever again?"
"It wasn't your fault," Limestone said. "Why wouldn't she talk to you?"
"I don't know and I'm freaking out."
"Hmm!" Marble pulled Pinkie into another hug. "Hm. Hmm."
Pinkie relaxed as Marble stroked her hair. "Sorry, I just— I really want this to work out."
Limestone frowned. "Don't take this the wrong way, but why do you care this much about her?"
"Because she kicked my ass," Pinkie said dreamily.
Marble didn't stop hugging Pinkie, but she looked confused. Limestone blinked. "Is that a thing for you? Because that's okay, but—"
"Nonononono," Pinkie frantically explained. "No, it's— Look. You know how I'm the Spirit of Laughter?"
Limestone crossed her arms. "No, I've never even heard of any of your friends."
"Shut up. It lets me do anything I want so long as it’s funny. So to make it work, I need a really, really good understanding of what funny is. Like," Pinkie closed her eyes and concentrated, "like, I can't just pull out a hammer and hit you in the face. I need you to be cocky, or a funny thing to say, and then I can pull it out. And no matter how good you are at fighting, when I swing it will smack you in the face because that's slapstick, but I have to believe it'll work, because if I don't believe enough I can't set it off, but if I get to cocky then I’ll get hit in the face back because comedy goes both ways and—" She huffed. "This is so frustrating!"
Limestone shifted uncomfortably. "I think I get it..."
"No, my point is Ruby does get it. That's why she beat me. She kept turning my jokes around on me, or dodging the punchline... She even had this whole speech about how Laughter wasn't just about Comedy as much as Entertainment, and then she played some anime song and turned this soda machine into a big bomb and threw it at my head and..." Pinkie sighed and realized at some point she'd begun to swoon and stood up straight. Marble let her go but held onto Pinkie's hand. "She understands me, Limestone. Do you know how many people actually understand me?"
Limestone didn't meet Pinkie's eyes. "Wow. That's... really sappy and stuff. But in a good way, like," she waved her hands in a way that greatly resembled her sister. "You know?"
Pinkie snorted. "Yeah. I know." She sighed. "Do you think Maud's come up with anything?"
Limestone shrugged. "Give her a few more minutes. Her sister seems pretty cool, I think she'll help."
Marble raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"
"She's not that cool, it was a lucky supplex," Limestone insisted. "A cool but lucky supplex. Point is I'm sure she'll roll with it."
"Good." Pinkie sighed. "I know we don't see each other as often as we used to, but I'm glad you've got my back."