• Member Since 17th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 9 minutes ago

CoffeeMinion


"Burninating the countryside... burninating the peasants... burninating all the peoples... and their thatched-roof COTTAGES! THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGES!! And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIGHT!!!"

T

Sixteen-year-old Limestone Pie is chafing from a lack of good female support—in all senses of the term. But when a bra-hunt at the local mall reveals an otherworldly force that's hell-bent for leather (or cotton) about leaving her hanging, Limestone has no choice but to trust her mom for help—even though Cloudy Quartz wouldn't know a good bra if it hit her in the face.


Sex tag for anatomical references and thematic elements.

This story appeared as a finalist in the September 2017 Writeoff, "True Colors." Custom cover art by PraysForAPrankster! Editing assistance by Moosetasm and Dubs Rewatcher! Featured on FimFiction 27Dec.2018-28Dec.2018! :heart:

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 27 )

Hrmmm... how to appropriately comment on this story...

Activate surfer accent: “Great story, brah.” :raritywink:

This was cute. I liked seeing just-through-the-portal Sunset, and I am as curious as ever about how she managed to support herself for 3 years in Dougworld.

Not sure what gave you the idea for a story like this but either way really enjoyed it. Your interpretation of recently arrived Sunset was really good (I especially liked how she thought her nails were claws and sharpened them for self defense) and especially loved the bonding between Limestone and Cloudy (you don't really see many fan fics about them as it is usually either the Pie sisters bonding or one of them bonding with one of Pinkies friends)

Regardless really enjoyed this story and here's hoping to see an epilogue chapter (i.e. finding out Limestone choose at the store, how Cloudy feels about it, and finally maybe Sunset showing up at the homeless shelter)

9370647
Aw, HELL, now I wanna see some old lavender stallion in Equestria with a lisp talk about things being very exthpenthive.

9371302
I hope I'm not intruding, but could you explain that joke to me?

Is this a reuload from another site ? I remeber this fic being mentioned in the heavy rock comment section

Yes. This is good.

9371424
The user I replied to called the human dimension Dougworld (because in the cartoon Doug, virtually every character has technicolor skin). In the show, there's an older, purple man (which typically denotes having a lot of money) who is also an inventor, but also likes to buy things a lot, most of which he describes as "very expensive" (he has a lisp, hence the "very exthpenthive" from me).

An example of the meme behind this:
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/738/803/4a2.png

Lol. Nice little one off. Boulder's Holders. Really? Cute, and groan worthy at the same time. :rainbowlaugh:

So, Marble has secrets does she? :pinkiegasp: You aren't thinking about expanding from just our beloved Limestone to the whole Pie family are you? Newly arrived Sunset? Cool, not so many stories about what it was like for her when she first went through the mirror, can't have been that easy for her.

Well, hope your Holiday is good, and that the new Year is everything you want it to be, and more. 👍

Grampa Holder sold that business to Wal-Mare a long time ago! Nobody should care if we don’t buy name-brand Boulder Holders every time

:rainbowlaugh: That joke's STILL getting mileage, and it's STILL hilarious!!

“Whoa there! Boingy boingy,” said Pinkie from the couch, waggling her eyebrows above large headgear braces that framed her smile.

GAAAH! The antique torture device that was obsolete when I was a kid, and that was a long time ago! :pinkiegasp: Poor Pinkie!

The Elements of Harmony as applied to an Amish lifestyle. Tis frightening.

Eek! Feral Sunset Shimmer!

Fun little story. Have an upvote and such.

First... let me say OUCH! to the broken underwire. I felt that.

Second. That was great. Loved Sunny... but I usually do when she's in character, even if she's still 'evil' Sunny.

Third: Loved the depiction of the Pie family and Harmony as the, I suppose, religion? I like it. I may have to borrow the idea someday. It's very fitting for the mirror world.

Good story, best in-universe bra pun... loved it. Good heart towards the end.

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Thanks! Glad ya like it!! :pinkiehappy:

9370647
Sunset's early days seem like generally less-explored territory, or at least less-explored outside the realm of melodrama. I was glad to be able to dig into that a bit!

9371471
Yes it is! I originally posted this to https://writeoff.me back in 2017. Anymore it seems like most of my FimFiction stories originate as entries in the Writeoff competitions, though they tend to go through pretty significant edits & updates before being posted here.

9372288
Right as I was about to post this, I had a moment of doubt about how people would take the part with the exposed wire. On the one hand, it's a rough way to kick things off. But I figured it helps set the stakes, and the story starts bringing in more comedy aspects right after.

As for the Harmony thing:

9370854
I'm glad you enjoyed this! What inspired the heart of this was, ultimately, the (sometimes) generational conflict between people of faith in the modern world. I'm pretty devoutly Christian myself, as are my parents--but they're much more the types to rail about one or more contemporary horrors, where I'm more the type to try to quietly live what I believe and/or show myself as different from things I might not agree with. So in that sense, the Cloudy/Limestone divide was just a stylized version of those different ways of going about a life of faith (biased toward the author's side, of course). :derpytongue2: And that's ultimately why there was so much religious appropriation of "Harmony" in this as well--though I wanted it to work regardless of whether a reader wanted to go super-deep with that side of things.

I'm also glad the Cloudy/Limestone relationship managed to come through a bit more in this version than the original. One of my goals in writing this was to try to give them more of a connection than I did in my earlier EqG Limestone fic Heavy Rock, where the plot forced Cloudy into being a very antagonistic one-note character.

9372248
I'd love to write more with the rest of the Pie family. They're so much like my wife's family... like seriously, you have no idea. :rainbowlaugh: Limestone has been my primary lens into them, of course, but I think I'm starting to get some ideas for the rest.

  • In 2019, I very very seriously and very very badly want to write a prequel to Heavy Rock focusing on young Igneous and Cloudy getting together. But of course it's not that simple... Igneous would be a "chosen one" monster hunter ala Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and his powers would be tied to both his (heretofore unseen) crazy guitar-playing skills and remaining a virgin, which causes some really strong friction with his betrothed Cloudy and some younger versions of Human!Celestia and Daring Do, all of whom want him for very different reasons. :rainbowderp: I think there's a story there, but there's enough high-concept bullcrap flying around that I'd have to handle it with care to keep it from devolving into either stupid drama or harem tropes.
  • Pinkie's not so bad. I've heard that people have trouble writing her but I *think* I can write her decently well. My problem is more that she tends to show up as a supporting character for the ideas I have rather than as a focal point. With that said, I have one Pinkie-focused idea that I'd love to develop if I can: a Pinkie X Rutherford fic set in EqG, where he's a foreign exchange student and she's the only person who can stand to be around him, prince or no prince. It's a really insanely obvious ship that I don't know if anyone's written. I've struggled to take it beyond just a concept, though.
  • I think I finally "get" Marble after my ill-fated attempt to swap her in for Limestone's role in To Serve In Hell. Or at least I "get" a role for her that wouldn't rub canon too much the wrong way. I've got some half-baked ideas for her, and we'll see what comes of them.
  • Regrettably, Maud continues to be the toughest nut for me to crack. I love Maud as a character but she baffles my every attempt to write her. Even in Heavy Rock, I'm pretty sure I can only get away with how I portrayed her by sheltering in the fact that we don't know much about her EqG version. Trying to bring the same approach to writing her in Ponyland made it clear that she's got depths and facets that I haven't fully grasped yet.

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9371302
lol bras :derpytongue2:

9373222
I think it was the right way to set things off. Any woman who's had an underwire attack them will flinch, but also want to see Limestone get her comfy bra. Great way to set the stakes.

Bralettes rule!

9373222
Alternatively , since the that story would already be based around harem trope #1 ( contractual purity ) ; but played with in a way that drives the plot , rather than making the characters unlikeable or
unbelievable . You could try to base as many other aspects of it around other (in)famous tropes as possible. Eg : Celestia could be extremly posesive type character but not ( solely) because she feels entitled to Igneus , rather it could be to save him from the risks of his duty or a missguided attemp to free him from an engagement she disagrees in principle ( if it not Is an arranged one , it could be be because they are too young )

And/or she does want him for her own sake, but Is possesive as way to cope with the fear of losing him

I'm glad you used the "Boulder Holders" joke, because I was going to if you didn't

In any case, brilliant work in developing the human Pies and Sunset's first few weeks in this strange new world. I have to wonder if this little adventure helped convince Cloudy to let Pinkie go to public school... though that leads to wondering about her reaction to one of her youngest becoming the embodiment of good cheer and also explosions. Still, that's well outside the scope of this story. Thank you for it.

This is the breast fic I've read this year

good story thoe it feels incomplete

I don't even know how to explain how awesome this is...

Dang, now I really wish I could find out what Limestone's & Sunset's first time meeting each other again after Sunset has become Pinkie's friend would be like.

Great story. Delicious worldbuilding of the Pies' lifestyle, religion, and teenage years, coupled with a fun slice-of-life skit that couples both fun and feels. Thank you for writing!

Also, fwiw, while I enjoyed your stories of Raven a few years back, your quality has markedly improved. This was not a "good read, but..." for me, it was just a dang great read.:rainbowkiss:

9543892
Thanks much! I'm glad to hear this was enjoyable as an examination of the Pies and their beliefs, and also that my writing is improving. :twilightsmile:

Heh. This was lots of fun. I like the exploration of religion in the EqGverse: the five/six tenets of Harmony were weaved in very naturally here (and like you, I'm a committed Christian, and believe it seems sensible to show my faith by actions of love and living a better way rather than raging or criticising). I love the 3-years-ago Pinkie, and the very compelling view of just-through-the-portal Sunset.

And I most of all really love the mother/daughter dynamic you depict here. Even with the tensions and differences in that family, they are able to work together and show love for each other, and taking small steps towards standing beside each other through difficulties. Nice work!

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