Waters Academy, part 4
Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 3
By TDR
Waters Academy,
part 4
[ Wonderbolts Academy]
“:...So after the tornado was formed to clear the clouds she lost control and it went careening into the civilian traffic lane where it hit your friends balloon?”Spitfire asked calmly looking at Rainbow Dash from over the top of her sunglasses. The mare had stormed into her office livid and started screaming at her over Lightning Dust.
Spitfire had planned to let her vent before telling her exactly why she put Dust in charge when the thing that set off the angry mare before her came to light.
“Yes! And when she did she collided with me so I couldn't even start a slow down.”Dash ranted. “there's pushing yourself and there's reckless!”
“I made you her second so you could try and curb those tendencies. You seem to have a better head on your shoulders in regards to that. You want to prove yourself but you can temper that drive.”Spitfire sighed.” Lightning Dust doesn't have a limiter.”
“ How am I supposed to curb that? With brute force? She hasn't listened to a damn word I've said. If you were out there doing your job instead of in here signing autographs you'd know that!” Rainbow Dash snapped.
“Contractual obligations.....”Spitfire let out a sigh looking down at the stack of photos.” Always read the fine print rookie. So are your friends alright? I take it they're the other Element Bearers?”
Rainbow Dash glared, though the let out a sharp breath. “Yeah, a bit shook up, but they're fine. Pinkie, Rarity and Fluttershy came, but they also brought Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo with them....”
Rainbow Dash was about to throw her pin on the desk and storm out at the nonchalant and dismissive attitude Spitfire was displaying though thoughts of that died out as the temperature in the room soared. Rainbow Dash's eyes widened as the autographed pictures on the desk started to smolder. The St. Equine's Fire Spitfire was known for danced through the mares fur, her sunglasses melting and starting to drip from her face to splatter on the desk.
Rainbow Dash took a step back.
“Where's Soarin?” Spitfire stated, the words a demand rather than a question.
“Um, last I saw him he was taking my friends towards the mess hall.” Rainbow Dash stated quickly.
“Good, go out there and all of you do laps until I call for you, send Fleetfoot in here.” Spitfire growled.
“Umm...”
“GET IT DONE YESTERDAY RECRUIT!” Spitfire bellowed.
Dash was out the door and half way across the field before the words stopped echoing in the room.
[ Canterlot Crater]
[That hasn't happened.]
[“Spoilsport.”]
There were seven stallions standing in the room now not counting Big Mac. All of them unicorns. All of them seeming to fit a 'type' that some one might like.
Prince Blueblood was the A typical Prince Charming. White coat, flawless blond mane and tail and rich enough that he could buy anything he wanted. He was diplomatic, kind, and just a little bit crazy with his hobbies to keep things interesting.
Posh Posh of the Posh family was also rich. The gold maned and royal purple furred stallion was a little more lanky in his build, he was thinner, and taller than Prince. His focus was far more on the business and numbers sides of things.
Third was likely the poorest of the group. Jock Burly. The red furred and blue maned unicorn was built more like an earth pony. His magic skill was negligible however and he was a dense as one of Pinkie Pie's eight layer cakes. Given no one but Pinkie Pie had ever managed to finish more than a slice of those things without feeling bloated, that should say something when you took into account Princess Celestia had tried it too.
Next was the cream furred and black maned Lord Money Bags. He was thinner and smaller than the other two as he was more into art and music than anything else and spent a great deal of his families ridiculous wealth on the arts.
Rahs had liked him.
The feeling was not mutual.
The fifth stallion was Percy Tarus. A steel gray coated stallion with bright orange hair. His build was the closest to Prince's though his focus was on machines and clockwork to the near exclusion of all else. He was a self made rich pony and even now was reading more over the plans of something or another rather than paying attention.
The other two Twilight didn't recognize. Both were unicorn stallions. One was a lanky stallion in glasses with a sea green coat and white mane and tail, he was also wearing a red bow tie. And the other was a yellow coated stallion with a long sand colored mane and tail, he looked like the A typical beach bum pony.
“Posh....”Twilight sighed.”.... The fuck?”
“See this foul mud hoof has tainted her with his base language , we barely got here in time!” Posh stated for the others who nodded in agreement.
“Posh that's triblist.”Prince sighed.”We talked about this.”
“Feh, such things are for lesser ponies to worry about!” Posh stated.”Had that harlot not come along to tempt you you would understand this! What a waste to be pining away with a lesser when you lost the properly powerful noble mare you could have had.”
Prince twitched. “Dash didn't........” Prince let out a long suffering sigh muttering something about his mother under his breath. “ There is literally no proper way to answer you without a lobotomy is there? Posh seriously, this ridiculous. You've foal napped two ponies. It's time to stop.”
“NO.. I will not stop this, And really it's only one, the mud hoof hardly counts as a real pony and Sparkle will not bother to press any charges once we convince her of the truth!. It was bad enough I was rejected by her, but so were all these other fine stallions. We will not accept that we lost to a dirt pony!!” Posh ranted. “A unicorn as powerful as her should be with another unicorn, not stolen away by the likes of you!”
Big Mac raised an eyebrow.
“You realize I started chasing him right?” Twilight offered.” He didn't so much woo me as I showed interest and he accepted it....”
“Stay out of this, it doesn't concern you!” Posh shouted.
“Preeetty sure it does... I'm also pretty sure that I didn't date two of you, and Minuette is missing.” Twilight pointed out.
“Oh, I'm Stocks and that's Coldwell,” The surfer looking stallion offered pointing to the one with the bow tie. “We were next on the list Princess Cadence made to try and date you. Minuette laughed Posh off when he tried to get her to join his evil ex group.”
“That is not what we named the club.” Posh grumbled.
“Wait you dated Minuette?” Prince asked, Big Mac's ears perked as well as both looked to Twilight who turned a bit red.
“After five failures Cadence was getting desperate and figured I didn't like colts. She didn't bother to check and see if Minuette liked mares before setting up the date so things got awkward fast. After dinner we both then decided to go toilet paper Cadence's room and Cadence finally stopped trying to set me up with any pony. Which is good because the next step would have been hot tar and chicken feathers.” Twilight explained.
“Oh.” Prince nodded. “ I wondered how that string of nonsense ended.”
“It doesn't matter, this inferior thing is no match for our magic and we will show him the error of his ways.” Posh ranted.” Twilight Sparkle will be mine!”
A peal of thunder sounded at the tone adding a great deal of menace to it, at least until Posh pumped his hoof and hissed a rather loud yes while several of the other stallions clapped.
“Oh very nice you got it to work right this time?”Percy asked.
“Yes I just had to remember to click it twice this time.” Posh responded.
“Seriously Posh? I never even gave any of you so much as a kiss goodnight and I know I excused myself and never came back in the first ten minutes of dealing with Burly.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “ Okay I'm already tired of this. I was supposed to be checking up on a friend of mine today and instead I'm in a bird cage looking out at seven idiots.....”
“Hey!” Prince snapped.
“It stands, you're not in your bunker yet.” Twilight pointed out.
“Ahh I see.” Prince hastily dove behind the piled sandbags in the corner, popping up again wearing a helmet borrowed from a bomb squad officer.
“.....Six idiots. You have three seconds to back the fuck off or I'm going to...” Twilight growled.
“Eeenope.” Big Mac stated loudly throwing Twilight off her rant.
“What?” Twilight asked.
“Ah got this.”” Big Mac offered standing up finally with a shake of his head.
“You sure?” Twilight questioned.
“Eeeyup.”Big Mac offered.
“You know I'm not into the whole macho posing thing right?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “ I don't need a knight to ride to my rescue.”
“Never said yah did, but a whole lot's been going on that ah ain't been able tah do squat about. This ah ken do somethin about and ah feel a need to.”Big Mac explained.
“Ahh okay … well have fun.” Twilight offered sitting back to watch.
“Have fun she says we certainly shall. The dumb mud pony is trapped and we can destroy him at our leisure.” Posh explained.
“ Do recall what I told Twilight about the walls Big Mac.” Prince offered.
Big Mac smirked pulling off his yoke and letting it drop to the floor.
Big Mac was in no way a warrior.
He was just an earth pony farmer who once had turned down an invite to a special school because he had a head for numbers and larger philosophical concepts.
Sure he had a lot of power, and sure after his folks had died and his little sister had left he picked fights with anyone and everything whether he was going to win or not, and that earned him a bit of a reputation until Granny set him straight. But that didn't mean he was a warrior...
Though he did have Dash show him some of her kung fu moves after finding out who Twilight's older brother was, just in case.
The yoke hit the ground and shattered it, forming a small crater in the tile ball room floor.
The unicorn stallion's eyes all widened at the sight of the impact, barely noting Big Mac had whirled about , planted his fore hooves and bucked the yoke with both of his back hooves.
The stallion could clear a tree with a kick of just one.
The wooden yoke took off like a shot, smashing through the shield and into the caster and the surfer pony, sending both of them crashing back through the door behind them and causing the shield to fade.
Jock Burly was the first to react of the four remaining. He rushed forward to meet muscle with muscle, the bulky unicorn stallion clearly looking to subdue Mac.
Big Mac quickly showed the large pony the difference between a show body builder and a pony who was actually strong by putting him through the floor and into the next floor down.
Posh and Lord Money Bags both fired magic bolts at Mac.
Big Mac took both the hits with a grunt and kept going, his hoof slamming to the underside of Money Bag's chin launching the stallion upwards into the high ceiling, the unicorns horn impaling a cross beam and sticking there, leaving the now unconscious stallion dangling from the rafter.
Posh charged another shot, clearly going for something more than a stun bolt this time.
Big Mac stomped hard on the broken floor in front of him causing a plank of wood to break loose of the floor and rocket up like a seesaw right between Posh's rear legs.
“What in tarnation is that?” Applejack winced at the high pitched cry.
Rahs smirked, flattening his ears to his head as the small group entered the convention hall. It seemed there were a lot of ponies dressed up in costume for the various books, plays and crystal shows that were out there.
A few impacts of hoof against flesh more and a Battered Posh was flung at Prince's sand bag fort just to make sure the stallion got the odd thrill of danger he was after. Big Mac was annoyed enough that he also wanted to test out the little bunkers durability.
It held.
Posh's face didn't
Big Mac turned to the last stallion, glaring at Percy, who had spread out a parchment in the air with his magic and was writing on it with a quill making notations and size adjustments for his latest project without having noticed anything.
Mac blinked before turning to walk over to the cage pressing his hooves between the bars and pushing them open. Twilight hopped out, taking a moment to look over the faint marks the magic had burned into his fur.
“Are you alright?” Twilight questioned.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac nodded. He had gotten worse shocks from Dash and her pranks and that one thing Twilight had done that one time.
“Well... that was something. Not quite the excitement I was hoping for. “ Prince sighed. “Any way, would you like to get lunch? There's a delightful little bistro not far from here, my treat.”
Twilight looked around and shrugged.” Sure, it's a little late to go see Rainbow Dash now.”
“Oh I planned to pop up to see her later this afternoon if you would care to tag along, it will be after her daily training as well.” Prince offered.” We can take the air ship up.”
“You got the Princess Bride up again.” Twilight questioned.
“Indeed.” Prince smiled.
“Inconceivable.” Twilight shook her head, before looking over to Big Mac.”With the state that thing was in last time I saw it I figured you would have scrapped it.”
Big Mac shrugged.
Twilight considered then vanished in a pop of teleportation reappearing on the other side of Big Mac as three suppressor rings fell to the floor where she had been.
“Alright lets go then. I could go for some food.” Twilight agreed.
[Wonderbolts Mess, later]
“So every thing going good?” Spitfire asked as she trotted into the mess, leaving the rookies still flying laps, minus one.
“Hey mom!” Scootaloo waved, lifting her head up from a big tub of ice cream. The others had bowls save Rarity, who had a bigger tub than Scootaloo and was already done with it.
“Why do you smell like smoke and melted plastic?”Pinkie Pie asked.
Spitfire glared at Soarin for letting her eat that much ice cream in one go, but she didn't say anything about it.” Yeah sorry about that tornado. I had a word with the ones responsible. You guys do know we have visiting hours up here, this is an academy after all.”
“Sparkle sense went off.” Pinkie Pie offered. “ They're all three in Canterlot and Twilight was foal napped.”
“Uhhh.”
“Trust me darling it makes sense why we wanted to get as far away from Canterlot as fast as possible.” Rarity offered.” Though I didn't expect to run into a wild storm up here.”
“She alive?” Soarin asked regarding Spitfire with narrowed eyes.
“Yeah she is.” Spit fire smirked.
[Earlier, Spitfire's office]
“You know what I see when I sit here at my desk and look around?” Spitfire asked, She had a new pair of sunglasses on and all the ash had been cleared away. The room still smelled like smoke though which unnerved Lightning Dust a little.
“Sir?”
“I see a young rookie looking to do anything she can to prove herself. No matter the risks or challenges before her.” Spitfire stated.
Lightning Dust smiled a little.
“Know what else I see.” Spitfire offered pulling off her uniform and calmly folding it as she tucked it away under the desk. “ I see , the ones I care about.”
Spitfire picked up a picture frame from off her desk and turned it around. It showed a younger Spitfire with another mare, she was a orange furred, blond maned pegasus with a single red streak through her hair and tail who stood a little shorter than Spitfire.
“My sister Fireball. Runs the weather branch in Ponyville.” Spitfire stated taking off her sunglasses setting them with her dress uniform. She turned another frame. This one showed Soarin in a suit and Spitfire in a some what racy looking wedding dress.
Lightning Dust's eyes widened. There were rumors about that marriage, but no one really knew for sure, even the media was unsure of it and the pair never really talked about it. Here was proof.
“You have no idea how hard it was to keep this hidden. Of course the contracts we have want us to try and stay sex symbols to drum up fans and the like but ehh that kinda comes with the lifestyle that we'd be fit and drooled over.” Spitfire shrugged before turning the last picture frame around.
“Now regarding you Lightning Dust, you're a bit too reckless and as the Wonderbolts are a team and as close to family as you can get without being related. Wonderbolts can't disregard what their wing pony says while they are trying to prove themselves. It causes injuries, accidents and some times even deaths.” Spitfire explained, her voice level.
Lightning Dust was only half listening, her eyes were wide as she recognized the orange furred and purple maned pegasus filly in the picture as one that had been in the balloon earlier that had been caught in her tornado. Another rumor about Soarin and Spitfire having a kid was just confirmed much to her horror.
Lightning Dust blinked and Spitfire was in her face.
“Don't worry though. This isn't a review. I'm off the clock.” Spitfire grinned.
Lightning Dust's world was fire.
“She'll live... should be recovered enough to try out again next year too. Hate to lose such talent, hopefully this incident will 'temper' her a little to be a better flier and team player next time.” Spitfire smirked.
“Fire puns.... seriously?” Soarin narrowed his eyes.
“So is there any more ice cream or did you guys eat it all?” Spitfire grinned.
[ Canterlot]
“ Well that was a thing that happened.” Twilight sighed as she walked along with Big Mac headed for the air shipyard.
The meal they had eaten was a bit pricey, but good, as well as filling which was odd for a five star place around here.
Prince had hung back to answer the questions of a few guards which left Twilight and Big Mac to make their own way towards the Canterlot Shipyard where one of the Blueblood's sky yachts, The Princess Bride, was docked.
“Eeeyup.” Big Mac offered in response.
“It's kinda funny. I fully expected today to go a lot worse, but it's been rather fun and you got to play Knight rescuing the damsel in distress.” Twilight smirked.
“Eeeyup.”
“Well the day's almost over and Canterlot is still standing. I'm sure some one lost a bet.”Twilight grinned.
Before Big Mac could respond an explosion rocked the street.
The pair looked around in a panic only to see four figures tearing down the road with a massive mob of costumed ponies chasing them with pitch forks and torches.
Rahs lept in the air dodging another concussive blast of magic from one of the angry mob. His coat was on fire and he had Spike held under one arm.
“Did you have to eat that guys porg thing?” Spike shouted at him.
“Bork!”
“It was a stuffed animal it was not made to taste good!”Spike wailed.
Right behind Rahs was Witch-Jack with Applebloom clinging to her back as she ran.
“What tha hey? All I said was I preferred Trek cause it used more science in tha story, glowy swords and hokey space religions is dumb!” Applebloom shouted.
“Please stop taunting them!” Spike shouted back.”It's bad enough Applejack pulled all the magic out of the crystal that held a 'Lost episode'. You're not helping.”
“Fergit that, they need tah chill, no pony calls mai sister a bantha!” Applebloom turned back to yell at the mob. “Mar Mar was the best character in yer whole book series!!”
The mob went wild.
Big Mac and Twilight stared as the group, then the mob rushed past. Several other explosions sounded in the air as the mob's spells and surprisingly accurate cosplay props were used against the fleeing quartet.
“MY CABBAGES!!” screamed another voice.
“YUB YUB SUCKERS!!” Applebloom taunted.
“There that should do it. “Percy smiled tucking his quill away and casting a small spell to dry the ink before rolling the scroll up to look around. His eyes widened at the carnage around him in the ballroom consisting of all the members of that elite club he some how forgot he joined, his ears folding back against his head.
“I say, what happened here?”
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Seems Mac subscribes to the Piccolo method.
Oh my goodness...WITCHJACK IS A TREKKIE AND CAUSED MORE HAVOK THAN TWILIGHT?!
Ok one the percy guy I like he seems more grounded like prince in the aspect that he earned his wealth and prince just puts on a show to hide his more down to earth side and then there bloom causing a starwars vs startrek riot and rahas being rahas nust had to eat something for the drama and to win his bet
Well Posh can kiss his bloodline goodbye
Twilight should think they are stupid enough to try again
9938166
Applebloom's the trekkie, Witchjack can't articulate speech yet.
9938143
yeap but make u wonder how much that weights
9938143
It is the one true method after all.
And this is where Rarity faints from such uncouth language.
The lost episode was the star wars Christmas special, witch jack is the hero they need but don't deserve.
Also, I could stand to see Percy as a recurring background character. Always the last pony standing after a "Sparkle-ing", noticing it only in the aftermath.
Guess Big Mac was tired of Twilight hogging all the xp... fair enough...
And in regards to Applebloom... whose the best captain? Answer carefully...
At least I don't have to deal with the damage control.
Looks like Rahs and Witch-Jack did a little bonding already. Guess romance cames in all kinds of form.
Yet, it will be called that in an ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM of 5 minutes, probably 1, unless she wants to make the kidnappers suffer, then, it’ll happen in an hour
Oh that was awesome chapter there! LOL. But got to ask will some of the Nobles be losing their status and wealth this time?
Well if nothing else Spitfire and Soarin fit in with the Ponyville bunch
YET!
Good after date activity
Hey, where's th.....
Oh, there's the impact crater. KNEW there'd be one around here somewhere
If I was Rarity I'd have also been downing tranquilizers like popcorn at a theater in addition to the ice cream
Except for the planned bloodshed I have to go along with the other side on this one
9938227
Original series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk. BAZINGA.
9938177
...yet?
9938227
Having recently watched Discovery....
PiQaard. Why? “Human” Disqord.
Did Big Mac just do a Dragonball Z with his yoke?
Shouldn't it be Pish Posh of the Posh family? Or is that his sister?
Man I can't wait to see what Scootaloo's like when she gets older, with parents like these two.
Oh? OH this will be good~
Shorykuken!
Hopefully hard enough to drain that part of the gene pool permanently
I like Percy
9938166 Please don't jinx it they aren't out of Canterlot yet. Also where are the guards that were watching Witch-Jack and company earlier
The level of stupidity in this chapter is overwhelming. At least it all got dealt with in a surprisingly short period of time.
Well, I guess writing away, off in your own little world, is one way to avoid the wrath of a twilight.
[Canterlot Throne Room: Restored to Canterlot]
Sombra: …
Discord: Where was the Kaboom?! There was supposed to be a mountain flattening Kaboom?!
Sombra: …
Discord: Amateurs! The lot of them. Hmph! Last time I get excited for a bit of chaotic fun in Canterlot on Friday. None of you know how to have a good time.
Luna: Raven, see to it that an arrest warrant is issued for Big Mac. I want to… personally oversee his trial.
Raven: Of course your highness.
Every Royal Guard: NOPE!
All Royal Guards in the throne room flee as fast as their legs can carry them.
Sombra: …
Luna: I find myself agreeing with Discord. Citizens of Canterlot are no fun. Well, this was enjoyable. Sister, shall we get back to that game of chess? I believe Fancy Pants should still be in the field ready to take… Sister are you alright?
Celestia: Woof.
Luna: I don’t see how 37 black birds baked into a pie has anything to do with this situation.
A pony named Posh Posh, and another that’s an inventor? There’s only one appropriate song!
9938227
Sisko, naturally. Though Discovery’s Pike was rising rapidly on the list.
a grate chapter i love it.
9938227
Sisko then Picard
Ah, so Twilight was kidnapped by a bunch of entitled racists who live off trust funds and look down their noses at everyone else.
You know...morons.
9939073
That's pretty much most of the Canterlot elite.
9938427
that's his sister.
Remind me quick, does Rainbow Dash know who Scootaloo's parents are at this point? If not, then I can't wait to see that little reveal
9938331
Yeah, Kirk was not a good captain, especially in the movies. Too hot-headed and too much of a rulebreaker. His rulebreaking endangers or outright kills people in every single Star Trek movie of the first twelve except for the three he isn't in (and possibly Star Trek V, but no-one wants to find out because then they'd have to watch the movie again).
That said, I understand the motivation they had for writing Kirk the way they did, especially in the show and the James Blish novelisations, where he was more restrained and sensible and hence less unbearably incompetent. It was just that the movies' exaggerated personality and the implicit arrogance of Kirk leading every away team was not a good fit for captaincy.
Someone once wrote that they should have kept Kirk/Spock/McCoy and made them a standing expeditionary team for going on away missions rather than the ship's command staff. That would have avoided the sheer stupidity of sending the captain of the ship down with every away team.
That said, I do agree that TOS has some good things that the other series do not have, or more accurately, it does not have bad things that were later introduced:
First, the other series flanderised many of the interesting alien species into two-dimensional caricatures, especially the Klingons starting in TNG and the Cardassians and Ferengi starting in DS9.
Second, the "battle damage = exploding consoles", a trope that originated in a simulation exercise in the second or third movie and then became a lazy shorthand for "look how dangerous this situation is".
Third, the all-pervasive networks of Jeffries Tubes: Originally, all of the Enterprise's maintainance was done in dedicated rooms where there was plenty of room to hold tools and things, except for a few situations where it made sense to violate that concept; one was a portal into the reactor core shielding where Scotty had to do an emergency shutdown of the warp core in That Which Survives (at least in the Blish novelisation); and the other, in one of the Kirk-on-trial ones*, was due to a design flaw in one particular class of ship concerning one particular subsystem's maintainance needs that necessitated cramped maintainance tunnels as a kludge. In the other series, the Jeffries Tubes are everywhere because of lazy writing.
Fourth, the TNG-through-VOY interpretation of the Prime Directive, which demanded absolute non-interference into non-FTL-capable species, which fortunately was often simply not observed in the name of more interesting episodes and the name of not being total inhuman monsters. Even worse, ENT brought back the concept for a completely stupid episode where Phlox essentially dooms an entire species to a deadly plague for no other reason than his twisted and unscientific belief that it would help the evolution of another species, and cons Archer into assisting him in the name of non-interference.
Even beyond the moral dimension (which is where a lot of people get their belief that Picard is an inhuman monster, just watching entire sapient species get snuffed out without lifting a finger, even though he actually bends the stricter TNG-era Directive to its breaking point on a regular basis for the protection of sapient life), a lot of the best TOS episodes are entirely about good and bad interference in other societies (as Kirk put it in A Piece of the Action, "who'd interfering, we're just taking over"), and the levitically-strict Prime Directive of the worst TNG and that one episode of ENT simply forecloses that possibility.
Fortunately for DS9 and VOY, neither really abused the Prime Directive (although the Temporal Prime Directive came up a lot) simply due to their different premises: DS9, when it wasn't about internal Bajoran affairs or the Dominion, mostly involved the alien societies coming to them; whereas VOY was about getting home and that meant not wasting time on visiting alien societies that couldn't help them do that (essentially all of the societies they interacted with, whether helping or hindering them, had FTL travel or in some other way rendered the directive inoperative).
* EDIT: I think there were two Kirk-on-trial ones. One of them was the Jeffries Tubes one. The other was the one with the Forbidden Planet which was the original pilot episode before they rewrote the series, which they reused as a flashback episode with the Kirk-on-trial framing device, which Blish simply didn't use in his novelisation of the episode, so I don't remember it that well.
That was a satisfying chapter in ways I did not predict.
9939392
True and Undiscovered countryshowed klingons loved shaksphere.
I do love TOS more than the others buti grew upwatching reruns of 'wagon train to the stars' and 60s batman.
This might explain a few things.....
Agreed
Wait... seven...... oh my gods, it's Twilight's own Seven Evil Exs... well okay they're not all evil but the point still stands
Hm, he seems sensible enough
*sigh* that guy's is cursed to lose his cabbages no matter the reality he's in
9939392 9939488
I personally despise Voyager for completely destroying the potential of the Borg. From TNG we already knew that they were slowly moving through the Alpha sector and approaching Romulan space. I envisioned them as a von Neumann civilization — continuously stripping civilized worlds of their sapients and other high-quality resources to build new spaceships, improve their existing ones, and expand their population. This would have made them slightly (slightly!) more benign than Berserkers, slowly sweeping around the galaxy like the hour hand of a clock. The beauty of this would have been that as Voyager journeyed through first the Delta and later the Alpha quadrant, the crew would have found the advancement of the civilizations they encountered steadily declining as less and less time had passed since the Borg wave passed through. Keeping the ship running would have become increasingly difficult as advanced resources petered out, and yet increasingly imperative. As the true enormity of the threat the Borg posed became apparent, the mission would slowly shift from “returning home” to “warn the Federation and the Romulan Empire — at any cost.”
What did we get instead? Hugh, Seven of Nine (may we see redemption in Picard), and a civilization (not just “that’s no moon”) that could be taken down by a single well-placed shot, i.e., killing the Borg Queen.
9939362
I think they may have met during the Family Appreciation Day thing in Season 2: Scootaloo got Spitfire in for her presentation, and Rainbow Dash was called in by Spike because her role in the Sonic Rainboom during his hatching made her his daddy.
Speaking of which, I know that the latter crackpot theory didn't originate with TGaP, as a joke or otherwise. The first I read it was Family Secrets: The Reveal, but it may have been thought up even earlier.
9939692
The Borg were another of the species whose characterisation shifted greatly, and one I hadn't thought of because they didn't have a fully consistent characterisation in TNG.
IMO, there are several phases of their characterisation:
1: They were curious about Enterprise and her crew but willing to kill people and disassemble the ship to satisfy their curiosity (and you got the impression that they maybe didn't understand it was morally wrong to do so), and therefore they were dangerous (I forget which Q episode it was, was it Q Who?).
2: They wanted to assimilate humanity (but why fixate on the Federation? Why specifially make a beeline for Earth? Abject Earth-centric writing.) and could only be stopped by finding and exploiting weaknesses, which was itself difficult and dangerous work, as seen in Best of Both Worlds. Also, they almost certainly didn't understand that it was morally wrong and the weaknesses were believable ones for a Von Neumann civilisation.
3: We were introduced to the idea that Borg drones might have or retain individual experiences, memories, and agendas, with Hugh in the TNG season 5 episode I Borg, and that the Borg were capable of learning human morality, when properly socialised; and that when returned to the Borg, they could retain that individualty and even form a breakaway faction as with Hugh's rogue Borg in the two-parter where Lore dies.
4: First Contact (the TNG movie, not the TNG episode) gave us a retread of the second version, except that thanks to Picard, the heroes already knew the weaknesses, and also the weaknesses were more stupid and crippling and those of a fantasy version of a beehive rather than a Von Neumann civilisation; also, they were much better at their core competence of assimilating people and the Borg Queen had a villainous personality (also, she was a femme fatale and used to be a Terran woman, in another instance of abject Earth-centred writing).
5: The first Voyager Borg episode gave us a Borg collective that was almost helpless against anything they couldn't assimilate.
6: Finally, later episodes gave us more competent Borg that were also more human, with large parts of their prior personalities intact but submerged (in fact, keeping those personalities from retaking control seemed to be one of the major duties of the Queen/Queens), but with some of their stupid weaknesses from characterisation 4.
I came into Voyager after it was already concluded, so characterisations 5 and especially 6 weren't as much of a bait-and-switch. Also, I had already seen First Contact, and the whole Borg Queen thing had already grossly contradicted the premise that you had been hoping for, so it was a lot less of a surprise that they didn't go in that direction.
Also, Seven of Nine was an interesting character who was central to several interesting stories, including many which couldn't easily have been done without her, like the one about her ambivalence about returning to the Alpha Quadrant (was Naomi, at this point a five-year-old, going to take control of Voyager by herself? Also, there was Neelix, but by this point the writers had forgotten that he was a trader who used to pilot and maintain his own ship.), several which relied on her prosthetics, and several about the Borg as Voyager characterised them, like the Vinculum one and Unimatrix Zero. So we at least gained something out of the Borg.
I had assumed, though, that each ship or facility was supposed to have a queen, rather than the entire civilisation, so the final episode didn't seem quite as dumb to me as it evidently did to you. It also helped that First Contact had inured me to the "hive totally dependent on queen" thing, and that, thinking about it, that plot would have worked without a Borg Queen, with the computer virus they were planning to infect Hugh with in I Borg, in the hope that it would spread to the rest of the Borg (or for that matter, with a hacked vinculum), so that the only need they had for the Borg Queen was so that there was someone for Janeway to say that one-liner to.
Edited to Add:
Hugh is completely consistent with a Von Neumann civilisation: You take one of the drones, intentionally or incidentally reprogram it, and it starts behaving differently. Getting Hugh was never mutually exclusive with the "slightly more benign Berserkers" Misplaced Mage wanted.
Also, in case there is any confusion, I am using Von Neumann civilisation in the "paperclip maximiser" rogue AI sense (ie, in the case of a Von Neumann civilisation, to add to its fleet and expand its population without regard for human well-being), which I assume MM is also using.
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She does not. She left due to Granny making her feel bad before Scootaloo's mom showed up.
I recall something about the Borg being created in order to deal with another race, the Undine, that was a bigger threat. Never really got that much further into that though it was really big deal in the STO game.
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It cannot have been the Undine themselves, since the Borg know them as Species 8472 and that was the species they couldn't assimilate in that Voyager episode. But more to the point (I think), that was also the backstory of the Berserkers that MM was talking about.
I just have to ask. can we find out just how much Mac's yoke weighs, Please!
9939797
That’s the idea. Star Trek has generally portrayed artificial intelligences as something typically shied away from (M-5, Nomad, V’ger, Lore, Moriarty, “Emergence”, Control) because they can unintentionally go so very, very wrong so very, very quickly, with Data and the EMH being the greatest exceptions. This would have made the Borg a logical extension of this view, a worst-case “paperclip maximizer” scenario threatening all sapient life in the galaxy. Defeating that kind of an enemy would have been far more difficult than merely assassinating a central control authority. Discovery’s Control was actually a giant step in this direction, albeit still with the Achilles’ Heel of a central authority.
I find it hard to believe that no one on Star Trek’s writing staff during the fourteen-year TNG/DS9/Voyager run wasn’t familiar with Fred Saberhagen’s Berserker stories. Rather, I suspect that the idea was considered too sophisticated or complex for the intended audience to grasp. Throw in the deliberate decision to make Voyager episodic and thus more syndication friendly (it was the mid-90’s, after all — fewer cable channels, Paramount trying to set up a fifth national broadcast network in the US, Netflix and its DVDs-by-mail concept was still two years out in the future, to say nothing of VOD and episode binge-streaming over the Internet), and one can understand why the Borg wound up the way they did.
But I don’t have to like it.
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Actually, I think I remember Voyager doing a "paperclip maximiser" AI multiple times. There were the Pralor and Cravic in Prototype, possibly the hologram insurrection against the Hirogen, possibly the Dreadnaught missile, and so forth. Just not with the Borg.
Another potential reason is worry that it would have been too dark for a Star Trek series, which are typically relatively optimistic. In fact, I hear that that is one of the main complaints about Discovery (other than that the SJWs who invented Star Trek in the first place are somehow corrupting it with non-white non-male captains and crews): That it is too dark and not utopian enough.
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It's secretly not all that heavy. It's just enchanted with Earth Pony magic to enhance its wearer's weight so that they can get enough grip in any weather or field condition. Or maybe it siphons off excess Earth Pony magic so that it doesn't build up to the point that it causes illness or something.
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Or i based it off an old oxen yoke weight i googled that had them weighing a hundred plus pounds.
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I think that might be for a team yoke. A full-sized yoke for a single ox weighs fifteen pounds or so. Even a double yoke will only weigh ~60-70 pounds.
EDIT:
Uh, not to give Twilight any ideas or anything.
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Prolly i didn't look too close