Resurgent Wanderer
Joined 26th Apr, 2012 ·
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And of course the inevitable 'downvote with no ryhm nor reason to why the buck said reader didn't like it' that I knew was going to happen
People need to read full descriptions....
Very good! Although not original! Check out Agies Shield's Twilight and the Spartan Stallion.
Sir, your story is a derp. I liked it near the start and then it went downhill from there. The most pressing issue is that at one point you stopped calling the lycan a he and actually called it a she and a her. Is it a boy or girl? Make up your mind!
1069670 The first chapter had that problem, yes?
A little over halfway through I fully swapped the gender of Telvanni for romance reasons and seemed to not have fixed all the issues. Mind helping me out on where I messed that up?
And actually, if you could help me understand where I made the story start going downhill in your opinion so I could possibly fix it?
1069665 Really?
Darn, there goes my thunder. Oh well.
1069307
Please continue!
1069752 I plan on it, I just wish Train would toss me a reply so I can see what I can do as far as improvements go.
yyyaaaaaaayyyy
i like stories like these cause they always make me smile and stuff cause they are soo awsome
except for 'Twilight' cause that film sucks
oh and "still a better love story than 'Twilight'"
it's ironic. Twilight is in a better love story than 'Twilight'
1115302 You just scored my first laugh of the day. Congradulations!
1115481 i just bet some1 is going to say that 'Twilight' is a good film. just wait.
i dare them
1116128 If they do, I will find them, and I will kill them. Anyway I hope you'll still be on in about 15 to 20 minutes because I'll be putting chapter dos up soon.
1116138 cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/18550093.jpg
excellent
1116156 Meep
1116162 i think i went to far that time
now i look back at it. it makes me look perhaps a bit to much of a stalker.
but who cares it was worth it!!!!!
Sounds interesting,<Shameless Advertising>
I'll read it once I'm done writing chapter 6 for my story 'The Wolf'
1116388 Shameless advertising is shameless! I'll give it a look though....
Well is this story mature cause if it is
just before you begin the clop part insert a warning for the clop then write it out
or you could just link it to 'the clop files'
either way is good but which is easier for you.
personally i think you should go with the 'clop files' idea as we can ignore it to skip it and you don't have to re publish the chapter
1116395 I just put 'clop' in parentheses before the name of the chapter
1116395 Makes sense. I'll ge to work on it.
1116402 i was totally gonna say something that suggested that i was a sex addict but thought better of it
so instead i will settle for "k"
1116402 ah screw it
more clop for me!!!!!!!! ahahahahahahahahaha
yay
1116451 Of course
1116456
and it's all your fault
i'm definitely gonna be labelled as a sex addict now
they're probably gonna lock me in some padded cell in the middle of greenland and feed me clop magazines and what i would hope to be water.
and when i finally make my escape they will lure me away with pony plushies
he he life size celestia plushie
1116491 And when you reach the end of the line there will be a big wolf plushie holding a Twilight Plushie and it will be d'awesome. Right now I'm watching Bronydance party work on a livestream for awoken pmv but I'll get on that clop for ya her in a bit. hahaha.
postzzzz zeee liiinnnkkkk
1116509 Telvanni's got a longer tongue......jus' sayin'
got the livestream nvnd 1116520
it's Rainbow Dash, not Rainbowdash (i've made this mistake before
)
That makeout scene (between pinkie and dash) would've been better with Dash and Shy =P, I'm a
guy, I'm fine with ALMOST everything else. (this is fine by me 
)
1118020 I did Pinkie and Dash for the innuendo joke for the party hahaha.
YAY
Wait swapper 34 I think I've heard that before
1179263 Not Swapper Thirty Four, it's Swapper Three Four. Three plus four is Seven, Swapper is synonomous with Switcher.
Switcher 7, it's a reference to another story who's title escapes me at the moment.
Oh, just realized noponies noted the Slenderpony reference I tossed in there....Well, maybe somepony will find it now that I've pointed it out.
Author Note~
Firstly, yes I'm putting these in the comments now. Anyway, I don't wan to hear some shit about Rainbow being OOC. To be honest, the Canon Dash is a bit of an asshole most of the time.
Second, I'm doing the whole Dash and Scoots in the subconciousness thing listening to music when this song comes on.
Final Dream of a Filly
So, yeah, I cried harder than I did at the end of the Season 2 finale and realized I had to wait for season 3.
Finally, expect Telvanni Twilight character depth next chapter and then major storyline stuff.
RD........
NOOOOOOO...
we will remember her.
FOCUS TWI!
THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!!!
1520586 Yeah I knew I was going to do it, and I hated doing it, but it was a perfect scene for me. Rainbow's Loyalty to herself and the one's she cares for vs her Loyalty to her country and showing that she isn't just an egotistical sports jock.
Many tears were shed in the production of this chapter.
Putting author's notes here now. Also blocks the whole 'First' post crap too.
Anyway, yes, another short chapter. What Ev's, obviously a battle next chapter.
Spitfire was the assassin!? Obviously somethings going on there, but good on her for recognizing that Celestia isn't Celestia anymore. Wonder how G is gonna take the news?
Also "Le Gasp!"
Another thing, yes, I'm re introducing wonderful musical references and stuff, cause I love it.
Also shame on Twilight, she must be eating a lot due to stress.
Can't wait to see the lovely comments!
Now I must go prepare for war!
TO WAR!
Ill just say that anything with "Solar Empire vs Lunar Republic" should by default be alternate universe since none of that exists in the material (the show).
k,thx bye now
WOOHOOO!!!
update.
And DAYUM what a twist.
Love the chapter and GLORIOUS BATTLES AWAIT!!!!!
1638617 This actually takes place roughly 4-6 years after the original season premiere and the cleansing of Nightmare Moon by the mane six.
Everything they've done hasn't changed a bit. Same universe, just in the future. In fact I'm debating bringing in the crystal ponies too.
As for the war, it was never explained well in the show.
1638639 That moment when you realize that "you killed your love interests adopted daughter, then they died to save said adopted daughter, then four months later said adopted daughter kicks the ass of your leader and pulls knives on you". Ahhhhh, nothing like it in the world lol.
1639330
There never even was a mention of any war in the show, just that one sister refused to lower the moon and the other stopped her.
And if its not alternate universe how is Celestia the evil one? 1000 and something years of hiding it would suck, especially when you already had your sister banished and total control, AND time to do whatever you want with them, easily ensure they hate Luna and never listen to her, let alone rebel with her against you.
1639372 Which leads me to the thought that you didn't read the story, did you?
Obviously not, for it is explained that Celestia was possessed by Nightmare, a creature that will later be explained in better detail, but for the moment so I don't ruin the story will be put as thus. Took over Luna when she thought that Telvanni, her adopted son, died, then took over Celestia, preying on her fears and worries as well as lingering dislike for Telvanni.
And it never said there wasn't a war either.
Do not presume you have precedence to judge one properly if you have not read their story to the fullest.
1639407
Nah i didnt read it, i rarely read a NLR vs Solar Empire, .
And the history mentions a conflict between them, but from the way it was told it was 1 on 1, but if it does not mention a war you should assume there was none, usually if something is not mentioned in "history" it was either insignificant or didn't happen, and wars are quiet significant. (yeah its a kids show, doubt they would mention it , but that just limits us in claiming something is oficial, we can think what we want but that doesnt make it oficial)
But in the end feel free to delete all my comment,anything i say is most likely moot without me reading the story, and i just dont plan to do that. When i sum it up i see : Carnivour like creature on pony romance, best guess is its Luna, the wolf-guy's probably lmmortal since he lived during the first time NNM appeared( or whatever the explanation is?) and still does, bet he has super strenght or speed or something (frist thing i would associate a wolf like creature with
).
But im mostly put off by it being NLR vs SE, it did look interesting until i came to that part, althought by your explanation of things you just took the names of the "factions" because of its common use (althought mostly in AU fics) , and would guess the "Republic" is a republic by name only, still lead by Princess Luna as a monarch (having the title of princess even in the description)
Good luck with the fic and all regardless.
1639844 Telvanni, the main character, is a Lycan, the predescesor to Diamond Dogs, the "fiction", because thats what this site is for, fiction, is about Telvanni being struck by the Elements of Harmony during Luna and Celestia's struggle.
As a result he winds up in the future and meets Twilight.
Relvanni is omnivorous, and rather than focus on NLR vs SE it's more about the characters, primarily Telvanni Twilight Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, and how they live and cope with the war.
Celestia is possessed by the same creature, Nightmare, that possessed Luna and the hope is to save Celestia.
You will also find that I don't mention the Empire or the Republic exclusively and focus more on the characters.
One more thing, you didn't downvote on presumption did you? Cause if you did that is extremely unfair because you don't know whether its actually a good fiction or not.
1640058
I dont vote on stories i dont read.
1640072 That's nice to hear. I've had that happen before....on numerous stories, primarily any that portray Dash as straight or my HiE fic