Luna tries to return her copy of Fallout 76

by Lord Zarcon

No refunds, unfortunately

This was the last straw. Luna had always knew that Bethesda games had technical issues in the past, but this was a whole new level. Disappearing textures, crashing servers, T posing enemies, and the list goes on. Not to mention all the poor design choices that were made during development. Who thought that it was a good idea to remove all NPC's and expect the player to fill in that gap!? Every gamer knows that real players can never replace NPC's, but apparently the people over at Bethesda didn't realize this. Are triple A game publishers and developers really that out of touch with what makes games good? Well maybe that isn't entirely the case for developers, but for publishers, it probably is.

Luna had recently submitted a refund request for the game, and at first, things looked really swell. Upon a few days after sending the request, she was met with a letter from a Bethesda representative.

"Hello Luna. We have received your request and will be processing it within the next few business days."

At first Luna thought that everything was OK, but a few days later, she revived another letter. One with much less satisfaction.

"Greetings! Unfortunately purchases of Fallout 76 are not eligible for a refund. We apologize for the inconvenience."

Luna was furious. Clearly the game was broken and unplayable, yet they were dead set on thier no refund policy. Perhaps that was the real reason why Fallout 76 wasn't released on Steam. After all, they had a refund policy that all games had to follow, and Luna guessed that Bethesda didn't want to follow it.

Luna was at least glad that she didn't bother getting the power armor edition. Sure should could afford it, being royalty and all, but she had stopped bothering with collectors editions long ago, especially due to the fact that they still sell massive units, therefore not making them very "collectable". She was also aware of the whole bag controversy, where the canvas bag that was shipped with the collectors edition was just some nylon bag that gave it the look and feel of a slightly more sturdy trash bag.

Things just seamed to get worse from there, heck most of it doesn't even have to do with the actual game. Those who were upset with the falsely advertised bag were only met with a response from Bethesda saying that they would be getting 500 Atoms to make up for the misinformation. Which translates to at least 5 dollars (Which equates to around 500 bits ironically) of microtransaction money. Keep in mind that 500 Atoms can't even get you much in the game other than 1 low resolution paint job for something that you probably aren't going to use.

Was this how Human game companies acted these days? While she did enjoy the pony games that were made in her homeland, there was something about the Human ones that always caught her interest. Maybe it was the graphics, maybe it was the gameplay and variety. However these days they started to lose thier magic, mostly due to how every game they came out with was some sort of "Live service" that required all a players time in the world just to progress through the game at a reasonable rate. Luna wasn't the kind of pony that could make that dedication after all.

If Luna wasn't going to get her refund from a simple request, then there was only one other solution, and it was one that only Luna can pull off. She waited until her Sister lowered the Sun, and then raised the moon in it's place. It was then her time to watch the Night, but first, she had to make a quick stop...

Luna arrived in a room that was filed with multiple electronic devices. Though they were not ordinary pieces to tech, they were all game consoles. There was an Xbox one, a PS4, a Switch, an original Xbox, a Gamecube, an NES. Nearly every kind of Console known to pony kind, even ones that Luna didn't know existed. But along side them, was a specifically designed copy of Skyrim. This was even more odd when Luna discovered that there was other devices in the room as well. Mobile phones, watches, microwaves, and radios, all with thier own versions of Skyrim. There was even a cutiemap replica in the middle of the room that was playing a version of skyrim that was all holographic and blue. This was beyond ridiculous.

At the end of the room Luna walked over to a door and opened it. Inside was her target sitting down on a large couch-like chair. Luna turned it over to face the dreamer in the face.

"Todd Howard! I've dealt with your games and thier bugs before, but this time it's gone to far!"

Todd just shrugged. "Look... I've read on the internet that our games have a few bugs..."

"A few!?" Luna shouted. "These bugs are so plentiful and annoying that they ruin the whole experience! Yet you knew this, and have the NERVE, to deny us a refund!?"

Todd just looked at her and didn't respond. Even though he was not fully aware of Lunas powers as an alicorn princess, he still didn't want to trifle with her.

"Now listen here Todd. You are going to get off your high horse, and give everypony… Er… Everyone... Who does not like Fallout 76 a full refund, myself included! And on top of that, you are also going to replace those glorified garbage bags you sent out to those who bought the power armor edition with the canvas bag you advertised!"

Todd just looked for a way out of this. "Li... Listen. We've already got so much on our plate at the moment, that responding to thousands of customers with refunds that could hurt the company...."

Luna didn't let her finish. "You leave me no choice..."

With that, the wall that separated the two rooms collapsed, revealing all the appliances that were currently running Skyrim. Luna then cast a spell that replaced all the copies of skyrim with copies of Fallout New Vegas. Every device in the room began playing the intro to the game, including the cutie map in the center of the room.

"No! Please!! I'll send out those refunds! I promise!"

Luna smiled. "Good! I better start hearing about them, as well as receive my own in the next week!"

With that said, Luna vanished. Leaving Todd Howard with his newly acquired copies of Fallout New Vegas..

The next day, Luna got her full refund for the game, and it was removed from her system. Now she could put all this behind her, and get back to playing games that actually functioned. Perhaps she would give her copy of Just cause 3 another go. She still had yet to finish the game after all.

As she went online, she was immediately notified of a new article regarding Bethesda, and it read as follows.

"Bethesda mistakenly Doxes customers who attempted to get replacements and refunds to fallout 76 power armor edition buyers."

"For the love of my sister!"

Little lies by Fleetwood Mac plays

Author's Note:

I just looked at the fallout 76 controversy and got the idea to write this comedy fic. Hope you enjoyed.

Comments

[zzzzzz]

[An Intricate Disguise]

I don't really feel as if I need to say so, but I will anyway: this feels like it holds basically zero MLP relevance, and reads like a regurgitated rant over the topical, circulating, well documented issues and opinions surrounding Fallout 76 and its controversy at the moment. (Which sounds incredibly obvious, I realise, but MLP relevance is required on at least a basic level for a story to be allowed on this site, which is why I point it out.)

Not a slight against you, author, but I fail to see how putting the copy in the hooves of 'Princess Luna' makes this any less of a self-insert, anti-Bethesda essay, as opposed to being a legitimate story.

That said, I won't be shocked if it gets featured.

What I might suggest, should this get taken down, is working to make this story feel less like a repost of every article and Reddit post I've seen in the last few weeks. Give it a little originality and flare, and then work to make the characters feel as if they're actually in their own world, developing their own thoughts, rather than acting as mouthpieces.

Or, y'know, put some porn in it. Works for me.

[DAMN HAMSTER]

I get that you/mommy and daddy made a poor consumer decision over a game, but crying through an imaginary, pastel pony in your amateur fiction is not the way to handle it.

[Lord Zarcon]

9334862
I actually didn't buy the game.

[Lord Zarcon]

9334824
This honestly isn't something I wrote very seriously. I just thought it would be funny to write a fic about the issue. Plus I choose Luna because of the whole gamer Luna joke that's been around.

[Puckuu]

This would've been several times funnier if Todd was actually extremely powerful and fought Luna.

[Arcfoxx]

9334946
lol..omg that wud have been epic
3

[Lord Zarcon]

9334946
Wow. You're right I should've thought of that.

[NobodieZ]

Nice work.

[JumpingShinyFrogs]

And this is related to MLP... how? Aside from the fact that Luna is the mouthpiece for this “look how topical I am” story, there really is no MLP relevance at all in here. I’ve seen people write gamer Luna stories before, and while I always thought it was a bit odd, I did feel like those stories were distinctly MLP in flavour. This one feels like yet another reddit post about Fallout 76. Luna doesn’t even feel like herself either. More like a self-insert.

From a technical standpoint, the story isn’t very good either. The grammar isn’t great. Not quite bad enough to make it unreadable, but bad enough to be noticeable. I’d suggest getting an editor in the future.

The pacing could also use some work. The story is so short that everything is told rather than shown. Instead of showing us Luna playing the game and seeing all the problems for herself, and showing us her reactions to them, we are simply told that the game is buggy and she was upset about it. Then the story proceeds to her meeting with Todd Howard at breakneck pace, and concludes at similar supersonic speeds. Nothing is given enough time to develop, which leads to the next problem.

This story is not funny. I didn’t even get a smile or a smirk out of it. It claims to be a comedy, but all it does is parrot the various news articles and reddit posts on the topic. I think the big problem here ties in with the pacing. Because so little is shown and nothing has time to develop, there’s no time for any jokes or even dry wit. Any attempts at humour in the story are similarly lacking in buildup, and thus completely fall flat.

This reads more like the outline of a story than an actual story. I’d recommend you look it over with a fine-toothed comb to pluck out those grammar errors, and try writing more about each event (this doesn’t mean filler, mind you). It’ll help with comedic timing.

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

When I tried to post a correction for several typos, my computer screen locked up
Coincidence? I think not!

[LunaScribbles]

Todd got the Epic Victory Royale.

There are a few spelling errors here and there, but I found the overall story quite amusing! Keep on writing, my dude!