It is a dark night, when it should be day. The sounds of conflict cry out from an old abandoned castle in the Everfree. Beams of magic exchanged as two ponies duel. One a Black alicorn, the other a purple unicorn. Shards of rock and crystal lie scattered on the ground, all that’s left of the Elements. Harmony has been broken.
Eventually, the unicorn makes a mistake, and is sent to the ground with a broken leg. The hopes of the world lay scattered around her as she shouts out, “You will never win, Nightmare Moon! My friends and I can beat you, Harmony will beat you!”
Nightmare laughs her evil laugh, “Your precious Elements have failed! Harmony has failed, Friendship can’t save you now!”
The echo of hooves rings from around them, “Here my friends come now, and we will beat you! Sunlight shall be restored!”
Nightmare Moon scoffs, “I will just defeat them to! Face it, you’ve lost. I rule, and the sun shall never rise again! Nothing can stop me now, not even your precious friendship can help! I am invincible, and nopony can stop me now!”
The hoofsteps get closer, sounding more like a charge than anything. In fact, it sounds like the ponies are very heavy, “What is that noise?”
Nightmare laughs, “The noise that can’t save you. Night shall rule eternal!”
The ponies round the corner, only to show the fact that there are no ponies. Men in metal armor ride on horses, sabers drawn. Their faces hidden behind helmets with wing like constructs pointing upward. One of them shouts words in a weird tongue, “Dla Polski, bracia!”
They all shout out as one, voices echoing in the cramped chambers, “Opłata!”
Nightmare stares at them for a second, before firing a magical beam at the one at the front, “What fool thinks they can charge at me!?”
The beam connects, but just bounces off, knocking a hole in the wall. The charging man shouts back, “Skrzydlate huzary, to głupiec!”
Nightmare is about to fire another beam, but the Hussars are too close. Sabers cut into alicorn flesh, and hooves trample over the fallen royalty. The weight and ferocity of the attack makes Nightmare actually feel the pain, cutting through her magical barriers as soon as they’re thrown up.
Six of the Winged Hussars disembark from their horses, and hold out their hands. The shards that used to be the Elements float up into their grasp, and reform. They grasp the stones in their gloves, and smile.
Nightmare sits up to see this, “No, no, that’s impossible!”
The leader of the men looks in her direction, “Po przyjeździe nic nie jest niemożliwe.”
They start to mess with the Elements, trying to figure out how they work. The other Hussars come back around towards Nightmare. She tries to fly up this time, but they come up with a plan for that.
They all stand up in their harnesses, sabers almost scraping the roof. One of them shouts out, “Masz ochotę na latające sztuczki, które nas nie powstrzymają!”
She flies back down to the ground, and they respond in kind. She shouts out before they reach her, “What manner of creature are you!”
The horses charge at the alicorn, and trample over her again. Sabers come flying down from all sides, cutting and cutting more every time. Eventually, one hits her horn, and chops off the very top. One of them awnsers her question as he rides by, “Polska kawaleria, tutaj, żeby skopać ci tyłek!”
Nightmare Moon reaches down and takes out her own sword. She swings at the one left, the unlucky recruit in the back. Her sword mange’s to pierce through the recruits weaker armor, and he falls over dead.
She smiles, and starts to swing the blade at the other Hussars, thinking their armor was just as weak. She learns her lesson the hard way when her sword breaks in half just by being in proximity to the Hussar’s armor. She tries to attack with the rest of what remains of the sword, but her magic seems to refuse to go forward.
The one fiddling with the Element shouts out at her, “Hej, suko, tutaj! Zwróć uwagę na rozproszenie, dupku!”
She does exactly as he said, and spins around to face them. She is only met with the sight of the six floating above the air, “No, you can’t do this! I was winning! The night was eternal!”
The one in the front says with absolute calm, “Potem przybyli Skrzydlaci Huzarzy. Powiedz swoje ostatnie pożegnania, Nightmare Moon.”
She shakes her head as a beam connects all of them, “What even are these Elements!?”
They shout out things one by one, “Niemieckie reparacje wojenne!”
Another one, “Pierogi!”
Another winged helmet says out, “Piwo, wódka i inne alkohole!”
The forth shouts out, “Nieposłuszeństwo wobec Unii Europejskiej!”
The beam meets the fifth, “Węgierska przyjaźń!”
Then, it finally reaches the leader, “Zabijanie najeźdźców na muzułmanów!”
They all shout out in unison, “A szturm na Wiedeń sprawia, że wszystko jest kompletne!”
The beam leaves them, and shoots straight towards Nightmare. The beam with white on top and red on the bottom creeps closer. Nightmare screams out, “I don’t even understand what you are saying!”
The lead one shouts out, “Jesteśmy polską harmonią, a my jesteśmy tutaj, aby przywrócić dzień! Wiecznie światło Rzeczypospolitej wyprzedzi cię!”
The beam reaches Nightmare, and starts spinning around her. With one last blinding flash, a differnt pony lays there. Small blue alicorn, surrounded by vodka and strange dumplings.
One of the Hussars pick up a dumpling, and bring it over to Twilight. He hands it to her, “Jedz jedzenie, uzdrowi cię.”
She hesitates, before taking a bite. Within an instant of taking a bite, her leg fixes itself. She looks up at the men, “Who are you?”
The leader looks back at her, his wings shining in the new sunlight, “Jesteśmy kawalerią Rzeczypospolitej Obojga Narodów, a my po prostu cię uratowaliśmy.”
Twilight looks on, “Wait, what? I don’t understand your language!”
The leader ignores her, and hops up onto his horse, the recruits body behind him. He looks around at his fellow Winged Hussars, “Przyjedźcie bracia z Polski, mamy miejsca. Do Austrii, chrońcie naszych węgierskich braci!”
The men then ride back down the hall they came from in the beginning. After a minute, the sound of hooves fades away.
Leaving a very confused Twilight, wondering who they were. Celestia, wondering why her sister is surrounded by vodka. And Luna, who is wondering why nopony ever made those dumplings before. They were the best thing she ever tasted.
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!
COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAINSIDE!
9201888
stop coping me. lol
9201894
See, the entire joke is the song. ‘The night shall last forever’ she says,
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVE!
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Don't tell me one of the Elements was about vodka
Final verdict: Sabaton/10
Mmm yes.
Just from the get-go, this story is nothing but a combination of a history meme and a heavy metal meme, which will likely repeat ad infinitum for the sake of comedy.
I am going to love every single goddamn word of it.
We remember, in September, that's when Equestria was freed, we made the enemy bleed.
Oh, dear God You used Google Translate didn't you ?
9201915
It was elements from Poland, of course it was about Vodka
if you like sabaton i would like to recommend such bands as Turisas, Grand magus, and Ensiferum.
You have a like for the references. I should be taking it for this butchery of my language, but meh.
I didn't understand a word of what the Hussars were saying... seemed interesting nonetheless.
Also, this story reminded me of another story about the Hussars, only that one is ponified, in English, and way more serious and dark (meaning no sabaton). But at the same time, a sense of duty and honor, even at the end, permeates the whole thing – gives you the chills. By the way, did I mention that it's a Last Stand?
[Adult story embed hidden]
9202070
9202170
W przypadku języka z tak pokręconą gramatyką jak nasz, google translate nie jest naszym przyjacielem. Autora też nie, chociaż “Zabijanie najeźdźców na muzułmanów!” wygrało system xD
Author, google translate is not your friend (the bit about Muslims ended up being "killing those who attack Muslims")
9202247
No wiadomo że Polska język być trudna
Chociaż z czego to: "Zabijanie najeźdźców na muzułmanów!" się wzięło ciekaw jestem... "Killing muslim invaders" Google tłumaczy jako "Zabijanie najeźdźców muzułmańskich," czyli w miarę OK...
Najważniejsze że to zostało przetłumaczone jak należy:
9202288
Wódka to wódka, za dużo zepsuć się nie da
Co kurwa?! xD
Hmm, a silly crackfic, eh? About the Winged Hussars? Using the Sabaton song? Sounds good.
I don't know Polish, but even without translation I recognize pirogi and vodka/alcohol.
Polish Flag Beam confirmed for deployment. Russia won't stand a chance.
Best. Redemption. Ever.
A bit off in grammar and construction, and really only enjoyable from the premise, but as a crackfic it'll do, dumpling, it'll do.
Um...
Ummmmmm...
What!?
9202391
Google Translator is your friend.
9202247
Compared to Portuguese grammar, how screwed up is Polish's? It's you guys of the Hungarians that have like 36 declination forms?
I'm having some serious sabaton vibes here... And Vodka?
9202070
9202170
9202247
I mean, I don’t have any other tool than google translate.
Could someone share what the dumplings are?
I'm hungry now.
9202650
Pierogi
9202650
fortheloveofcooking.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Pierogi-3626.jpg
This is the pure greatness known as Pierogi
The next chapter must involve Mongolian Horse Archers. I demand it.
Lemme give you a hand mate, cause google is very bad on translating Polish.
"Za Rzeczpospospolią, panowie bracia!"
"Naprzód!"
"Husaria!" (In Polish it huzarzy is a hungarian cav and husaria is winged hussars. You can use Skrzydlata before if you want.)
"Po naszym przybyciu, nic nie jest niemożliwe."
"Twoje sztuczki z lataniem nas nie powstrzymają!"
"Myśmy kawaleria Rzeczpospolitej i jesteśmy tu by skopać waćpannie tyłek"
"Hej suko, spójrz za siebie!" (I wasnt exactly sure what second part was supposed to mean)
"I wtedy przybyła skrzydlata husaria. Czas na ostatnie pożegnanie, Nightmare Moon"
"Niemieckie..." Good
"Pierogi." good
"Piwo..." good
"Nieposłuszeństwo..." Good
"Węgieska..." Good
"Zabijanie muzułmańskich najeźdźców."
"A szturm..." Good.
"Jesteśmy polską harmonią i przybywamy tu by przywrócić dzień! Niech wieczne światło Rzeczpospolitej cię uleczy!"
"Zjedz to, uleczy twoje rany."
"Jesteśmy kawalerią Rzeczpospolitej Obojga Narodów, i właśnie waćpannę uratowaliśmy."
"Dalej panowie bracia, na nas już pora. Ruszamy do Austrii ocalić naszych węgierskich przyjaciół."
My best take at mixing modern with old polish. Im not sure if I understood everything correctly but google translate screwed up really bad ;).
9203357
Ima say bad translations are part of the joke.
The first thing I thought of after reading this was; next thing you know he's gonna write a story about the Spanish Inquisition
I did it before it was cool. >_<
The Elements of Poland make me smile. I especially loved the alcoholic beverages and disobedience to the European Union. Only thing missing is the Catholicity that even communism can't kill and the world's best Pope and... that would be their equivalent of the Pillars now that I think about it.
I could not understand half of this story. AND IT WAS AMAZING BEING IN THE SAME WTF POSITION AS THE CHARACTERS.
9202482
I don't know about Portuguese but see this:
i.pinimg.com/originals/11/06/4d/11064d5530ca2761b27400c613faba15.jpg
Or this:
And judge for yourself
But yeah, Polish is pretty hard for a lot of people because it is... hmm explicit? I think that would be the correct word. It means that the meaning of a word does not depend on the context as much as in English, for example. But, that also means more words are necessary to communicate.
9203715
True
...What in the hell.
tfw u don't know polish but you've seen enough Polandball to know that this is about Germany paying war reparations
9711693
It really is a mood, isn’t it?
That's a good impression.
9205114
I think the word you mean is "literal"
Also why the heck does polish have so many "z"s?
This is really interesting, I just hope that the rest of the fanfic has all the dialogue in English... the only Polish I know is from countryballs!
German War Reparations! " Dumplings Beer, vodka and other spirits Disobedience to the European Union! " Hungarian friendship! Killing Muslim invaders “And the storming of Vienna makes everything complete
Oh god, the cringe...
Can someone please explain to me what the hell have I just come across?