Chapter 98 - Relationships New and Old
Friday rolled around as it always did, except that my herdmates were especially cagey about plans for the weekend. Last Sunday, after I alerted the press, I took everyone to the Neighagra Falls Amusement Park and Mini Golf Center. The foals and adults had a wonderful time between all the rides and prizes won. The photo of Regis planting an ice cream cone on his grandmother’s schnoz made headlines coast-to-coast. Plus it raised the visibility and profile of the flagging theme park which is why I chose that destination.
This weekend was Chrysalis’ chance to decide what we would do. My not-so-subtle probes for hints were shot down. All I knew was that we would not be going to Ponyville and the activity involved only me and the changeling queen. To be honest, I was intrigued and a bit excited by this “Mystery Date.”
As soon as Day Court ended, Luna trotted into the throne room. “Art thou ready?”
“Be seeing you,” said Penumbra without preamble before trotting out into the hall.
No waiting around wondering when the show was supposed to start. I smiled. “Sure, I’m game.”
Luna led me through the corridors of the castle until we reached her sister’s chambers. Because Celestia was out of town, no guards were posted here but the doors carried wards to prevent unauthorized entry. And then we just… stood.
“Should we go in?” I inquired.
“Nay.”
I sighed. My earlier assessment might have been premature. Perhaps this was meant to increase my anticipation? Still, might as well use the opportunity.
I cantered up and down the hallway, stopping to stretch my muscles now and then. Sitting for hours at a time always dropped my energy level to the point that I only wanted to eat and go to sleep, not that I ever allowed myself to do so. A little brisk exercise helped both my brain and body wake up again. I threw in some grunts and groans for Luna’s benefit. She cocked her head at my almost over-the-top antics but chose to say nothing. Speaking of getting something to eat, I definitely had an appetite. I hope this Mystery Date included a picnic or a restaurant.
After ten minutes or so, I heard the telltale sound of buzzing coming up the hallway. Seconds later, Chrysalis flew around a bend in the corridor. When she touched down, I couldn’t suppress an appreciative whistle. The changeling queen’s chitin practically glowed with reflected torchlight. Her hair was done up in a loose bun and curls. Emerald pins and a bright green bow held her manestyle in place. Chrysalis had spent the time making herself presentable and it showed. She moved in for a kiss which I happily returned. She then looked to Luna. “My apologies for my tardiness. Finishing touches—”
Luna interrupted her with a negating wave of her hoof. “Nay. ’Tis the mare’s prerogative to require as much time as thou needest. Shall we continue?”
Chrysalis nodded to Luna then stared at me. Glancing at the Night Alicorn showed me she was doing the same. It didn’t take long for me to get the hint.
I changed into long-maned Marklestia as I reached for the door and smoothly pushed it open. Because my magical aura was identical to the Solar Monarch’s, this was the easiest way to gain entry. Not surprisingly, both mares stood near the room’s sole bookcase and gave me the same look, though with bigger smiles.
I rolled my eyes. “Well, since you both asked so nicely.”
Moments later, the bookcase swung outwards an inch with a dull click. Luna’s magic rotated the bookcase out of the way as I backed up from the invisible hole in the wall. I placed my glowing horn into the now revealed portal, causing the torches in Celestia’s secret chamber to light in sequence. Not waiting for my escorts, I trotted forward until I faced the twin bookcases on the far end of the chamber. I had a pretty good idea why Chrysalis asked Luna to come here today.
I used my magic to gently swing the two bookcases outward, revealing the area behind them. The Night Alicorn stepped past me, not stopping until she buried her horn in the revealed hole in the wall. The familiar WHUMP of air pressure stabilizing caused my mane to blow backward.
Chrysalis trotted past me. “Your other form, please.”
“Your wish is law, my lady.” I dutifully shifted to pink-haired Marklestia as I followed my herdmate.
Luna smirked at both of us. “You two youngsters have fun.”
I followed my wife’s shapely behind until we emerged into Luna’s grotto. Chrysalis didn’t need to light her horn to navigate the twisting passageway. Some changeling instinct, perhaps? I knew I couldn’t do the same.
The familiar blue, green, and purple glow from up ahead prompted me to cut off my illumination spell. My herdmate extended her wings as she reached the top of the ribbon-stone flow plateau in the center of the cave.
As I came up to her side, I saw her eyes were closed but she had a wide smile. “Ahhh! So good to be in a proper chamber underground. It’s been too long. Let us endeavor to convince Luna…” She trailed off and looked my form over. She growled once. “I meant your other, other form.”
I nodded and changed into my short-haired Marklestia body.
Chrysalis blinked. “Really? Another one? I had no idea. Just how many are there?”
“Only one more. My short, inadequate, much-less-sexy stallion form.”
“Adequate enough. Change, please.”
I snorted. I should know better than to fish for compliments from Chrysalis. With a quick flash of my innate magic, I complied with her request.
She smiled. “Come. You have been here before, my stallion. Show me around.”
I thought that was very sweet. Her senses likely told her more about the environs than I would ever notice, but I recognized when she was making an effort to be polite. I dutifully escorted her closer to the stream that divided the chamber, telling her what I knew about how the fantastic rock shapes on the other side came to be. I led her upstream to the icy pool near the far wall.
Chrysalis gasped in delight and took two steps into the natural basin. She lit her horn and five wriggling white forms levitated out of the water. Before I could say a word, the tiny fishes entered her mouth and she chewed with a loud, “Mmmmmmm!”
I stammered. “Chrysalis. Those cave fishes have been here for ages… most likely from before Luna’s banishment. They are an irreplaceable part of this grotto’s ecosystem.”
My herdmate shrugged. “Not anymore.”
I blinked. “What do you think Luna will say when she learns you ate them?”
Chrysalis smiled. “I will tell her they were delectable.”
I face-hoofed. The concepts of endangered species and ecological preservation were completely lost on my wife.
She said, “Shall we continue the tour? Unless you want to join me for a dip in the pool? The water is quite cold.”
I did not. “One last feature.” I pointed my hoof at the blunt column of rock at the center of the cave. “Fly up there, please.”
The changeling queen blinked then did as I requested. She found the four depressions where she could place her hooves and alighted on the rock. “Why did you… Oh!” Chrysalis craned her neck upward.
I smiled as I looked around. The echoing acoustics of the domed ceiling again made themselves apparent. “I’m glad you picked this place for our date. The last time I was here, everypony had to entertain the others with a song.” I stared at my herdmate. “I hear you have a lovely singing voice.”
Chrysalis fluttered her wings for a few moments until she got them under control. She pursed her lips while looking at me before raising her head and closing her eyes.
One fine day we'll see
a wisp of smoke arising
over the extreme verge of the sea's horizon,
and afterwards the ship will appear…
Chrysalis sang about waiting for her stallion… about hiding the love she holds for him. She sang about how he would express his love while she could not. Despite her lyrical protestations, her mane and wings shimmered brightly. As the last note faded away, I clopped my hooves. I was very touched. Did she blush a little? It was hard to tell in the dim light cast by the lichens.
She landed next to me and shooed me with both forehooves. “Go. Praise your lovely wife for all to hear.”
“ ‘All’ meaning ‘you’?”
“Precisely. Off you go.”
I landed on the stone column and thought. What would be a good choice for this stimulating and perplexing mare? The words of John Denver came to me and I began.
You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again.
When I finished, I looked down to see Chrysalis waving for me to join her next to the pond. As I did so, I saw her smile was warm and welcoming. We wrapped our forelegs around each other and kissed for a while.
When we stopped for air, I asked, “So, you brought me here because you want another princess?”
She sighed. “No, not yet. Tonight is devoted strictly to our pleasure. To my immense surprise, I am enjoying this respite from the responsibility of managing a hive every hour of every day. Until then, Diadem and Shiny Button are enough for me. Before winter, I will set up our hive in the crystal caverns under Canterlot. When it is time, I will create common drones without your seed.”
I pricked my ears. “So Shiny Button was an attempt to gain a daughter?”
“Yes. Changeling princes are exceedingly rare. It was thought they could not lead a hive so... uh…”
I finished the sentence for her. “… typically, a queen would have them killed.”
She nodded.
“But you did not.”
My herdmate shifted in my forearms and didn’t look me in the eyes. “I have never been much of one to follow tradition.”
I smiled. “Not to mention that you loved him. The last thing you wanted to do was follow your mother’s example.”
That earned me a glare. She ground her fangs. “I cannot overemphasize this. Talking about my mother is the most unromantic thing I can imagine.”
I chuckled and leaned closer. “Your mother and her clueless stallion neglected you and your sisters. I’m swearing to you here and now that this will never happen with our children.”
Chrysalis blinked and swallowed. She pulled me into a hug. Softly, she said, “Thank you.”
After a bit, she resumed kissing me which I returned with gusto. Just when it was getting steamy, she pulled back. “Wait. I cannot...” She caught her breath. “This is important. I cannot tell you how pleased I am, husband.”
I likewise took a while to cool down. After taking a deep breath, I cocked my head. “What did I do right this time?”
She laughed then looked me in the eyes. “You have not requested that I take another form. It is… I am grateful that you find my true form appealing. I was not sure that you would.”
I shrugged. “You have an exotic beauty all your own.” There was that blush again. “You only have to take on a pony form when you want us to breed, correct?”
Chrysalis looked up and furrowed her brow for a moment. “Ah, I could see why you think so. No, that is traditional but not required. My innermost depths need to take on pony form but nothing else. Such a transformation is well within the ability of queens.”
Huh. The more you know. I leaned forward to resume our make-out session only to be stopped by a hoof.
“Ah, ah. Patience, my stallion. I had a second reason for choosing tonight of all nights.”
I nodded my head, inviting her to continue.
“Today is an anniversary worth celebrating. Exactly a year ago, you introduced me to my near-sister Postgena and the hive savior Cadance.”
The hairs on the back of my neck rose and my eyes went wide. “Wait. That means—”
The familiar boom of a party cannon went off somewhere in the cave. The acoustics made it sound like the noise came from everywhere at once. Chrysalis screamed and flung me away. As I tumbled through the air, I opened my wings. Looking down, I saw the pond below me… and accelerated directly into it.
By the time I broke the surface, the cavern was unrecognizable. Sparklers lit every corner of the cave, multi-colored paper streamers drifted down, and my herdmate was sprawled on the ground, holding her chest and gasping for air. Pinkie Pie sang a warp-speed birthday song from the top of the rock spire, completely oblivious to the chaos she had caused.
I shivered from the cold as I hauled myself from the icy water. The Element of Laughter pronked over, kissing Chrysalis then me on the forehead. “You two have fun! Come by Sugar Cube Corner for a free cake this weekend! Anything but the Every-Flavor-Cake. That needs twenty-four-hour advance notice. You two don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Pinkie pulled a scooter out of her mane, plopped a spelunker’s helmet on her head complete with flashlight, and zipped up the far tunnel that I presumed led to Luna’s private quarters. The moment she wheeled out of sight, every sparkler went out at once.
I plunked my wet form down next to my herdmate. In stages, the panic left her eyes and her breathing slowed. Finally, she let out a shuddering breath and gave me an unconvincing smile. “Well, as you say, ‘that happened’.” Her smile turned more genuine as she stood and put her forelegs around my neck. “Now then, where were we?”
I growled. “We ‘were’ in the mood, but now we no longer ‘are’.”
“Oh come now. You stallions are all the same. Are you telling me you are just going to leave me unsatisfied?”
“Yep. Pretty much.”
Now it was her turn to growl. “That is unacceptable. Dry yourself off. Lick your pasterns. Do whatever it takes to fix this situation.”
I stamped down my burst of joy. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
The emotivore had seen my fleeting emotion and smiled. “I insist.”
I lit my horn and grinned. Chrysalis yelped as my magic picked her up and levitated her over the pool.
She gasped. “You wouldn’t!”
“I might.” With a shove, I tossed her in.
After a surprisingly long time, my wife’s head rose slowly from the pool. Her carefully styled mane was now a sodden mess. I didn’t need to be a changeling to understand what her bared fangs said about her emotional state. A small white fish fell out of her left nostril, re-entering the pool with a small splash.
I gasped and put on a big smile. "Oh! So you found one still alive! How clever of you. Luna will be so pleased."
Chrysalis put one foot on the shore. “Nopony will be able to identify your remains.”
I grinned wider. “Only if you catch me!” With a delighted laugh, I cast an illumination spell and zoomed up the passageway we had taken to get here. Soon, I reached the portal to Celestia’s chamber… or I would have if it had not been a blank wall of stone. I pressed a hoof to it. There was no escape.
“Oh, husband.” Chrysalis’ sing-song voice echoed off the tunnel walls. A lance of fear shot through my heart. I turned around only to feel a glob of resin spatter against my horn. My light spell petered out and I lifted my hoof to break the gunk away. My wife’s voice brought me up short.
“Don’t even think it.” The only illumination came from the green glow emanating from her horn and eyes. “I would prefer not to glue all but the important bits of you to the wall. However, I will if I must.”
I lowered my hoof. “Ahh. That’s good to hear.”
“Indeed.” She moved close enough for me to feel her breath. “I prefer to reserve that for the third date.”
I swallowed as my brain started working again. I knew Chrysalis loved to be in charge. Might as well roll with it. “Well… since we’re both warmed up again, which was my intention all along…” Her eyes narrowed. “… shall we go back to the cavern?”
Chrysalis’ twisted her head around as she looked about, dimly illuminating the walls and ceiling. Suddenly, the light from her horn and eyes winked out. “No. This is perfect.”
I hesitated. “It is?”
“Yes. Are you claustrophobic?”
I shook my head, only to realize this was a pointless endeavor in pitch blackness. “No. Not yet, anyway.”
“Outstanding! I love cozy places. Remind me to go podding with you sometime. Maybe our fourth date.” Her horn flashed for a moment and I felt a slight breeze tickle my face. “There. Now we will have fresh air as long as I keep you here.”
Well, this was her date which meant she was calling the shots. Time to swim with the tide.
Much later and after a few unintentional bumps and bruises, my mate lay in my embrace as we took another much-needed rest.
I squeezed her with my forelegs. “Your exoskeleton gives you an unfair advantage. Lovemaking is inherently more comfortable for you in these cramped quarters.”
“Hmm. As I suspected, the overwhelming drive to mate with your queen allows you to ignore such minor discomforts.”
So much for eliciting any sympathy. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back to the main chamber?”
“Quite sure.”
A contented silence descended on us once more. I frowned as I realized something. “It must be a couple of hours since we got here. I thought my herdmates and Luna would have let us out by now.”
The mare in my arms hummed. “Yes, I remember them talking to Luna about a ‘vacation from Mark.’ Most likely an all-night party at the dance club.”
I sighed. “Followed by a long sleep to ward off the hangovers.” My stomach growled. “Did you happen to bring any food for me on this Mystery Date? I’ve been burning plenty of calories, you know.”
I felt her cringe. “Oh… I am sorry, husband. I knew I would be feasting on our love and… I simply forgot about your needs. That was most inconsiderate of me.”
After a while, Chrysalis said, “Although, if you like, I can create some Royal Jelly for you.”
My flat stare was lost on her in the darkness. “Which you generate by vomiting?”
“Yes. But it is a very special vomit only fed to princes and princesses. Packed full of changeling magic along with essential vitamins and minerals.”
“And you have no idea what this would do to an alicorn or a stallion, do you?”
“Hmm… As your co-ruler Twilight would say, it’s always a good time for Science!”
“No, thank you,” I growled. My stomach grumbled unhappily. Apparently, it was more than willing to risk me turning into a drone or a tree or something even crazier.
I had a thought. “ ‘Delectable’ you said?”
Chrysalis horn lit dimly. She looked into my face, a smile spreading across her lips. “Absolutely!”
I snorted as I gruffly said, “I’ll be the judge of that.”
Chrysalis squeed like a foal before giving me a long kiss. She reached up and broke the resin off my horn. “Come on then.”
Once again, I was following her shapely rump down the tunnel. “You know Luna is going to be pissed. My herdmates will tell me you are a bad influence.”
“Oh, please.” She scoffed. “A reputation for a little evil makes one both sexy and alluringly unpredictable. You won’t be able to keep the mares’ hooves off of you now.”
The next day, I found out that my prediction about Luna was true, at least. Time would tell about my ‘enhanced’ reputation.
Months went by with nothing more concerning than the occasional diplomatic crisis or looming budget. Trixie and I planned on taking our herd on an extended vacation with our children while things were this peaceful. As soon as the current school term finished, we would be heading off to Silver Shoals resort for ten days. Twilight had already agreed to mind the throne in exchange for taking Regis and Nyx along with us. Seemed like a fair arrangement.
This morning’s court session was not proving to be anything special. I liked these days though because I had fewer of the nobility pushing their agendas and more of the ordinary citizens seeking an audience with their rulers. Surprisingly few of the matters brought for my ruling were petty in nature and I enjoyed dealing with them for the most part. I had just handled a mare’s petition when I heard a small commotion coming from the antechamber next to the Throne Room. A moment later, the door opened to reveal a Royal Guard fully decked out in plate armor herding a unicorn stallion into the room. My eyebrows rose when I recognized the Guard as the one who was always stationed outside of the mirror portal room. The unicorn, however, puzzled me. He looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t see his cutie mark to give me any more hints because it was covered by a pair of badly fitting sweatpants. They seemed to be giving him trouble as he stumbled on the way over to me.
“What is this, Sergeant?” I asked as they drew up to the dais.
“Your Highness, this pony is an unscheduled interdimensional arrival. He has no form of identification. As per protocol, I have brought him to the Triarch on duty.”
I exchanged glances with Chrysalis who appeared equally mystified. “He is feeling confused and uncertain,” she advised me.
I had another look at the stallion who was staring at me intently. He had an orange-brown coat and a dark blue mane with mid-blue streaks. “Do I know you, My Little Pony?”
He cocked his head and looked unsure. “Is that you, Mark?”
My ears and eyebrows shot up in recognition of his voice. “Phil?!” Now I recognized the looks, although I had last seen them on a mare in another dimension. I leaped from the throne to glide down and land right in front of the stallion. I threw my forelegs around Phil and hugged him fiercely.
He returned the embrace before drawing back and grinning at me. “So, I knew I didn’t imagine seeing you in my dreams years ago.” His eyes narrowed. “Any doubts I had were put to rest when I pooped out diamonds the whole next day. Do you know how freaking big the first one was?”
I smirked and looked up to the ceiling. “Ah. The shit you have to put up with to be my friend.”
“Not funny.”
I shrugged. “And you are very welcome, by the way. It’s not every day that a fortune falls in your lap. Or in your case—”
“Out of my lap. Still not funny.”
I chuckled. “I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on what constitutes Equestrian humor. Anyway…” I clopped him on the shoulder with a hoof. “What are you doing here, Phil? How did you get here?”
“Remember that mirror that you told me to hold onto? It’s in my bedroom. Something looked odd about it tonight…” He trailed off as he noticed the bright sunlight pouring through the windows. “Well, it was night. Anyway, it almost looked like the glass itself was glowing. I thought something had gotten onto the surface and I went to wipe it with a rag but my hand disappeared into it.”
“Let me guess – you overbalanced and fell through?”
He gave me a flat look. “Do I look that clumsy? You’re Captain Klutz, remember?”
I blushed a little. “So – what did happen?”
He shrugged. “I got too curious and experimented. I put more of my arm through, then I tried a foot which also didn't cause a reaction. It’s when I decided to put my face into it to find out if I could see anything that I got pulled in. Then I found myself sprawling on the floor in a room full of mirrors and looking like this.”
“The same thing happened to me, more or less,” I said, declining to expound upon my inglorious arrival. I faced the Royal Guard whose name will forever be unremembered and said, “Thank you, Sergeant. You may return to your post.”
He saluted and marched away.
I then addressed everyone else in the room. “Court is finished for today. My apologies to those still waiting. I will prioritize your petitions at my next session.” I turned to the Sergeant-at-Arms and said, “Please send word to my other herdmates that I wish to have them meet me in the Royal Sunroom as soon as it is practical. Also, inform Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“At once, Your Highness.” He saluted and departed.
“Highness?” Phil asked, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Since when did you become a king?”
“Prince, actually. I am one of the three reigning Triarchs of Equestria, the nation that you’re now in. By the way, you’re not on Earth anymore.”
“No shit, Sherlock?!” he said as he rolled his eyes. “You didn’t answer the question.”
“That’s a heck of a long story and I’ll tell you about it when we’re somewhere less public and more comfortable.” I looked over at Chrysalis. “Coming, dear?”
“Of course, husband.”
Apparently, Phil hadn’t paid much notice to the changeling as he had been focused on me, but now his eyes widened as he stared at Chrysalis and took in her glossy black chitin and sparkling wings and mane. When she gave him an amused smile that accentuated her fangs, he blinked for a long moment before turning back to me.
“You’re married?”
I said, “Phil, this is Chrysalis, Queen of the Canterlot changeling hive, Royal Advisor, and my herdmate. Chrysalis, this is Phillip Martine, my best friend from Earth.”
“Any friend of our husband is welcome in our bed,” she replied graciously.
“Say what?!” I exclaimed.
Chrysalis turned to me. “This is the one that wanted to mate with you in the worst way, is it not?”
“Ex-squeeze me?!” yelled Phil.
I sighed. “No, that was a different Phil Martine.”
“Wait. What now?”
Chrysalis shrugged. “You don’t have to be shy, husband. Rest assured I will not judge your personal tastes.”
Phil’s mouth opened and closed as he stared at me. No words came out.
I face-hoofed. “Phil, it’s a long story. Think the Mirror, Mirror episode from the Original Series.”
My friend sat down and his mood changed instantly. “Oh, that’s alright, then.”
Chrysalis said, “Regardless, I can taste your joy at having him here, dear.”
“Taste?” Phil queried.
“Changelings are emotivores, Phil,” I explained. “They consume positive emotions to sustain themselves.”
“You’re shitting me?”
“Nope. Just one of the many strange things you’ll have to get used to in a world filled with magic. I’ll explain more soon.” I put a hoof on his withers and started urging him towards the antechamber.
He stumbled again as a leg of his sweatpants dropped and nearly tangled his hind legs.
“You might want to take off those pants,” I said. “They’re too big for you and only get in the way.”
“Do all you horses walk around naked?”
“Ponies, not horses. Try not to insult anyone with that term. To answer your question though, yes, almost invariably. There are some fashions and formal attire like my vest, or protective clothing, but for the most part, ponies prefer to be butt naked. Believe me – you’ll attract far more curious looks wearing those pants than if you take them off.”
Phil looked uncertain. “I’m not sure if that helps much. Especially with that bat-winged pony right behind me.”
Penny grinned. “Aw! Don’t you want me to check out your goods, stallion?”
Phil blushed profusely.
“Not helping, Penny,” I chided her. Turning back to Phil, I said, “Phil, I’d like you to meet Penumbra, my head bodyguard, herdmate, and court jester.”
“Somepony has to keep your audiences awake,” she shot back.
Phil snorted. “Dang! Sounds like she’s your wife too!”
“Close enough,” I admitted. “Penny is technically my herdmate, as I said. It’s a legal euphemism though.”
“You have two wives?”
“Four, actually. She’s number three.”
Phil came to a halt and stared at me. “Four?! How did that happen? And what happened to the happy bachelor I knew long ago?”
“Like I said – long story.” I lit up my horn and gave him a telekinetic push in the rear to get him going again.
He jumped in surprise. “And that’s another thing – I don’t recall seeing a horn when you visited me.”
“Yeah, that’s relatively new. I was only a pegasus then but now I’m an alicorn.”
“You can change? Am I going to change again?”
I chuckled. “Not likely. You won’t believe what you have to go through to ascend to my status.”
Phil stumbled again as the sweatpants worked their way down his legs. I rolled my eyes and lifted him in my magic. “Penny?”
My herdmate knew a cue when she heard one. She grasped a leg of the pants in each of her forehooves. “Yoink!” A moment later, she laid the offending clothing over Phil’s back and I set him back down.
Phil glared at me. “Seriously? You pants a guy in public?”
I smirked back at him. “I seem to recall you doing that to me back in high school.”
“That was on a dare and you know it!”
“Yeah, but I never did get my revenge. Not that I have now, actually. Like I said, nopony will notice.”
“I dunno,” Penny said. “Not a bad view from back here.”
“Really not helping, Penny,” I said with a sigh.
Despite being in an unfamiliar body, Phil very quickly got the hang of clamping down his tail over his privates. That sure brought back memories of my first days in Equestria.
We came to the stairs that led down to the private section of the castle and I watched keenly as Phil attempted to negotiate them, prepared to catch him if necessary. I nearly misstepped due to my distraction. Ah, stairs – my old nemesis waited patiently for my inevitable failure. To my chagrin, Phil managed them first try. I am never going to tell him how many times I face-planted on them. Now if only Trixie didn’t spill the beans.
Trixie was waiting for us in the sunroom when we arrived. I saw that she had fetched her fancy cape and a few other embellishments. She had to have teleported to do all that in the brief time between being informed and our getting here. Trixie stepped up and gave our visitor a regal smile.
“We hear that we have a very special visitor, husband. Care to introduce us?”
The royal ‘We’? Okay. “Phil, I would like you to meet my wife, Princess Beatrix Lulamoon. Trixie, may I present my best friend in two worlds, Phillip Martine.”
Phil bowed his head and said, “A pleasure and a privilege to meet you, Your Highness.”
My wife looked at me smugly. “This stallion knows how to treat royalty properly. Much better than when we first met.”
I gave her a flat look. “We both know how things were back then. Don’t tempt me to give him details.”
Trixie waved a hoof dismissively. “Trixie has ordered refreshments. They will be here soon. Make yourself comfortable, Bill Martini.”
I saw my friend’s eyebrow rise and I chuckled. It was his turn to get the Trixie experience. I gestured towards a lounge chair. “Hop on. Don’t worry about the hooves.”
Phil had just made himself comfortable when there was a familiar flash-pop of teleportation. Twilight looked around and spotted the new stallion.
“Omigosh! Are you really Mark’s old friend?”
Phil was still trying to recover from the surprise of a pony materializing right in front of him and now had her muzzle mere inches from his.
“Calm down, Sparks,” I said. “Phil, this hyperactive mare is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and the third in our Triarchy. She’s also our resident bookworm and mad scientist.”
For some reason, the latter didn’t reassure him too much. He gave her a nervous grin and said, “Pleased to meet you, Your Highness.”
“Just Twilight will do. How did you get here? The Royal Guard who informed me of your arrival said something about a mirror. Is it the same one as Mark used? How did you get it working? Why did it take so long? Did you experience any unusual effects? Is the—”
“Twi! Give the stallion room to breathe!” I scolded her.
The alicorn blushed. “Sorry about that.”
“We’re going to have a chat over some food and drink that Trixie has ordered. We’ll all learn the details in due course.”
“That should be most elucidating,” came the voice of my herdmate from the doorway.
I looked around to see Rarity as she swept into the room, adorned lavishly in one of her signature socializing outfits. Her yellow silk dress was accentuated with dark blue sapphires along the hemline. A wide-brimmed white sunhat completed the look. Somehow, I thought I could guess what had delayed her.
“I figured you might be busy either in Ponyville or Canterlot,” I said.
“But not too busy for your friends, darling! Are you going to introduce us, dear?” she asked as she kissed me on the cheek.
“Of course. Rarity, I would like you to meet Phillip Martine. Phil, this is Rarity Belle, fashionista extraordinaire, and my second wife.”
“I have heard so much about you from Mark. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, darling,” Rarity gushed.
“Likewise, I’m sure.” He looked around at everyone. “So – these are all your wives?”
Twilight snorted and giggled. “No, just those four. I’m married to somepony else.”
“Oops. Sorry.”
“No problem, Mister Martine.”
“Call me Phil, please. Now – can anybody tell me what’s going on?”
I replied, “I’m eager to know too, but our refreshments are here. I suggest we wait until we all have something to drink and snack on.”
The maidservant, an earth pony mare named Lace Doily, pushed a cart into the room and bobbed her head in a curtsey to us. She then served up our preferred beverages and food. When she came to Phil, she asked him what he would like to have.
“Er… coffee and one of those chocolate chip cookies, please.” He watched in fascination as she dexterously poured him a mug of coffee then hoofed over a plate with a huge cookie on it. I knew what was coming. As soon as she departed, he looked at us in bewilderment. “How does she do that without hands?”
I forestalled Trixie’s smart-ass comment. “That’s something that I learned early. I call it tactile kinesis, but everypony else just calls it magic hooves. It’s quite simple, actually. You just touch something…” I put my forehoof on my mug. “…and you will it to lift up.” I did so and brought the mug to my lips to take a sip of the steaming hot tea. “As long as you believe you are able to pick it up, you can.”
“What? Even if I believe I can lift a boulder?”
I nodded. “Yep. If you’re strong enough, you can. My earth pony friend, Applejack, would be able to show you how easily she can do it. That’s nothing compared to what her big brother can do though.”
Phil looked at his mug and carefully put a hoof on it. He cautiously raised it and his eyebrows shot up as he successfully brought along the mug.
“Told you it was easy,” I said as he took a sip of his coffee.
“Still feels weird. Great coffee though.”
“One more thing that you might want to know. See the frog of my hoof?” I held it up so he could see the soft underside.
“Yeah. What about it?”
“If you want to do fine manipulation, you can control your frog to do delicate work. That takes a lot of practice though, but once you’ve mastered it, it’s almost as good as fingers. Of course, as a unicorn, you can also use telekinesis for that purpose, but you don’t get as good a feel for the work.”
“Enough about hooves! Can we learn how Phil got here, please?” Twilight whined.
I chuckled and said, “Tell them what you know, Phil.”
He repeated what he had told me earlier. Twilight looked thoughtful.
I asked, “How come the portal suddenly worked? Celestia and Luna’s didn’t.”
The purple alicorn appeared to be chagrinned. “I believe I overlooked something. The Royal Sisters couldn’t come back because the portal on their side had been broken, along with the magic link to its partner here. However, Phil’s never was. The portals are programmed to re-establish a connection to refresh the link at regular intervals. That's what happened when you first came to Equestria. While the mirror on this side was broken, I completely repaired it in an attempt to get you home, but the enchantments were broken irreparably. The new enchantments didn’t know where to connect to, but the Earth-side one did. Phil’s portal connected as it was programmed to do, and here he is.”
“Twilight – it’s been over six years since I came here. Are the intervals between connections normally that long?”
She shrank down a bit. “No,” she replied in a small voice.
I gave her a flat look. “How long?”
“Depending on the time differential between universes – between six and twenty months approximately.”
“So, there were no less than two other times and probably a lot more that I could have gone home?”
She hesitated before nodding. “Yes.”
I stared at her for a long moment before I burst out laughing. “Looks like I was fated to stay. Good thing that it worked out for the best. Anyway, Phil, now we know how you got here and why. It’s time you learned what has happened to me since I disappeared.”
I didn’t go into great detail because it would take too long. We could expound upon my adventures later. At one point, Gallus arrived along with Smolder. The fact that I had an adopted griffon son was considerably overshadowed by Phil's awe at him having a dragon girlfriend. However, when my children were brought in by their nannies, it brought the focus back to me.
“Geez, Mark, you’ve sure been busy!”
“Blame my mares – they all wanted foals.”
Phil said, “That must have put a crimp on your carefree social life.”
“Not really. My wives are my life now and I was happy to oblige them.”
He laughed and his grin told me he knew just how much “obliging” I did. I raised a wing, curled back all but one primary feather, and gave him ‘The Bird’. I think he was a lot more shocked at that impossible display of feather manipulation than the rude gesture. It had taken me ages to gain the level of control that pegasi learned as foals, but while it was useful for handling things, my proudest moment was when I had first mastered that gesture. Sue me.
Gemini chose that moment to complain that they were hungry. I replied that it was almost dinnertime.
Phil’s eyes widened and he sprang up out of his chair. “Oh, crap! I’ve been here for ages and I’ve left Rosa in the lurch. How do I get back home?”
“Whoa! Don’t panic, Phil. That shouldn’t be a problem, right Twilight?”
She nodded. “Even if it closed already, we know how to open them at will. Let’s go to the portal room right now and get you home.” She got up and headed toward the door.
“Thanks, Twilight. It’s been great meeting you all and I hope to see you again soon. Goodbye!” He trotted after the purple alicorn while I accompanied him. Penny, as always, was my shadow.
I said, “You know, we’ve spent all this time talking about what has been happening with me these past years, but nothing about you.”
Phil kept his eyes forward, focusing on his gait. I remembered how distractions had made me stumble back when I had first arrived. He replied, “To tell you the truth, I had a lot of trouble after you disappeared, especially because I was the executor of your estate. I was the last one to see you, of course, and that cast suspicion on me for a while when you were reported as a missing person. If it wasn’t for your home security cameras showing that I had left and had never come back, I could have been in serious trouble. The catch is that those same cameras never saw you leave and I only figured out why after your visit. Anyway, with nothing to go on, you became a cold case and I went on with my life without my best friend.”
“Sorry that had to happen to you, Phil.”
He chuckled. “Nah, it was my fault in the first place. If I hadn’t persuaded you to buy that mirror, all this would never have happened.”
“That’s true. Okay – guilty conscience assuaged.”
He poked his tongue out at me before continuing. “Anyway, I tried to carry on with my life as normal, but I soon realized how big a gap you had left. It took me a while to adjust my lifestyle to start socializing with others and make new friends.”
“I got lucky in that I was practically thrown in among some of the friendliest beings in the universe. It must have been a lot harder for you.”
“Yeah, but it was worth it. I didn’t know it at the time but we were both in a bit of a rut, doing the same things week after week. Sure, we were happy, but we weren’t getting the most out of life.”
I nodded. “Preaching to the choir, pal. Coming here was a real eye-opener for me too. These past few years have made me grow more as a person than my entire life back on Earth. By the way, how long have I been gone from there?” When he gave me a puzzled look, I explained, “Time runs at different rates in other realities. Some are almost in synch while others are wildly different. The first that I encountered moved at a tenth of the rate that this one does.”
“Weird. Let’s see… it will have been over five and a half years now. Nearly six.”
“That means Earth is just a tad slower than Equestria. So, when I visited you in that dream, we were mere days out of synch.”
“Sounds about right. How did you get into my dream anyway if you couldn’t come through the portal?”
“Remember me mentioning someone named Discord while we were chatting earlier today? He enabled it. He’s the God of Chaos in this universe, so don’t piss him off.”
Phil stopped and stared at me. “You know a literal god?”
“Yep. He’s a great DM for our game nights too.” I prodded Phil to make him keep moving.
My friend shook his head in wonder. “It’s going to take me ages to process all this.”
I chuckled. “And we’ve only covered the highlights. Anyway, what happened after our chat?”
“You mean after the diamond diarrhea?”
I grinned. “Yeah, that.”
Phil smiled. “I gotta tell you, Mark – that was an awesome parting gift. At least, it was after I went through the pain of trying to sell them. I had no provenance, but they didn’t match anything else on record. The gemologist couldn’t claim the diamonds were artificial because the largest was far bigger than anything that anyone was capable of manufacturing. Plus all the gems had the same impurities that indicated a natural origin. In the end, the appraiser had to give them a clean bill of health. Your ‘shitty’ parting gift was a huge help in financing the development of the electric plane I’d been working on for my company. I’m now the second-biggest shareholder behind the founder. The rest of the money I invested for the future.”
“Glad to hear that it worked out. Well, we’re here.”
I nodded to the Royal Guards and stepped inside where Twilight was waiting a trifle impatiently.
“Could you please confirm the mirror that you exited from?” the alicorn asked.
“I’m pretty sure that it’s the one you’re sitting next to,” Phil replied, pointing to it with a hoof.
I paused to look at the portal mirror. Of the four that I had smashed accidentally, it turned out to be the one that we had thought most likely to have been my gateway to Equestria. I tested the surface with a hoof and saw it pass through, indicating that it was still active. I stepped back, turned to Phil, and waved a foreleg in the portal’s direction. “After you!”
Phil looked a little uncertain but he didn’t hesitate to step through. I started to follow but Penny moved to go first.
“I should check it out before you follow,” she said.
I smiled reassuringly. “Penny, of all the places in two universes, I can’t think of anywhere safer than my best friend’s personal residence. Wait here, please.”
She looked put out but she reluctantly complied. I then stepped through the portal.
After the usual moment of disorientation, I took in my surroundings. It was obviously a bedroom – a king-size bed with dressers on either side, two large windows with curtains drawn for the night, plus a few tasteful decorations. Very normal although everything seemed a little larger in proportion than I remembered.
“Mark… why am I still a pony?”
I looked at Phil and then down at my hooves. Oops. Something had gone wrong. While the portal had worked perfectly, it hadn’t changed us into humans as it should have. Realization struck and I face-hoofed.
“Sorry, Phil. Twilight and I overlooked something. More than one thing. We both forgot about your sweatpants and they are still back in Equestria. Anyway, the adaptation spell that enables us to change species is placed on the departure gate, not the receiving one. That’s why you changed into a pony on the way here. While Twilight repaired the mirror in Equestria so that this one could link to it again, that did nothing to re-establish the adaptation spell because it’s an entirely separate aspect of interdimensional travel.”
His ears folded down and his eyes widened. “You mean I’m stuck like this?!”
Before I could answer, a voice came from outside the room.
“Is that you, Phil? Where have you been? And who are you talking—”
A woman with short brown hair casually dressed in sweat pants, T-shirt, and house socks froze in the doorway as she beheld us.
Phil gaped at her, panic in his eyes. He gulped and said, “H-hi, Rosa. Um… a funny thing happened a little while ago.”
Rosa’s eyes widened and she stumbled back and looked wildly around the room. “Is this your idea of a joke, Phil? Where are you? How are you throwing your voice like that?”
“It’s not a joke, chica. It’s really me.”
I couldn’t help myself. “Don’t mind him,” I said. “He’s just a little hoarse!” I cracked up and started rolling on the floor with laughter. Two pairs of eyes stared at me in disbelief which only made me laugh harder.
This had the effect of getting my friend’s dander up. He frowned and said, “Knock it off, Mark. How am I supposed to explain to my wife that she’s now married to a pony?”
I choked down my laughter as I was quickly intrigued by this news. I stood back up. “You’re married? Why didn’t you mention that earlier?”
“We were too busy catching up with what you’ve been up to for years. Now, what are we going to do about this?”
I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. Turning to Rosa, I saw she had grabbed a plastic broom from the corner and waved it menacingly. “So you expect me to believe these mentiras? I do not.” Rosa bounced the broom off of Phil’s head. “You! Prove to me that you are mi amor.”
Phil stammered. “Uh… uh… sure, mi corazón! Ah… on our first anniversary, we—”
“What is the worst William Shatner cover song of all time?” It seemed his wife had a different idea of how to verify his identity.
Phil and I groaned piteously and in perfect harmony. I said, “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, hooves down.”
My friend turned to face me. “No. Wrong. Uninformed. Bohemian Rhapsody reached all-time lows of awfulness.”
I waved a hoof. “It wasn’t that bad… OK, maybe it was. But it doesn’t induce dry heaving like Lucy does.”
Phil shook his head and raised his voice a bit. “Too bad. So sad. There was a vote. Intelligent people tell me you are wrong.”
I mock snarled. “Are you implying that I’m not intelligent!?”
“I’m not implying that at all. I’m saying it!”
I smiled. “Same old Phil. Writing checks with your mouth that your wrestling skills can’t cash.”
He smirked. “I’ll have you know I’m now a 1st Kyu brown belt in Shotokan Karate!”
“Which helps you how right now?”
“It… uh…”
Rosa waved the broom between us. “Down you two!” She turned to her husband. “Only my Phillipe argues this way. I believe it is you, my dear. But until you are a human again…” More brandishing of her broom. “No messes on the carpet! Am I clear?”
I looked up at the woman who, thankfully, had not run off or brained us both on principle. “Rosa, is it? My name is Mark Wells, your husband’s friend. Short version – he went through that magic portal mirror…” I pointed to the object that had started my saga. “…and ended up in Equestria as the unicorn that you see in front of you. When we came here, he was supposed to be restored to his normal human form, but the spell that was intended to do that is broken. But, as I was about to explain to Phil, that can easily be remedied. The magic expert happens to be waiting at the other side right now.”
Rosa seemed to relax a little. “I remember Phillipe talking about his best friend disappearing years ago. Are you telling me that you’re that man and you’ve been…” She waved a hand at the mirror. “…through the looking glass like Alice in Wonderland?”
I nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. Unlike Alice though, I was stuck there. The portal on that side was smashed. However, it’s repaired now, as Phil found out by accident.”
My best friend looked like he was going to faint with relief. “So we can fix this?”
“Yep. Let me just nip back and get the ball rolling. I’ll return as soon as it’s ready.”
“What? You want me to stay here like this?”
“Sure. It’s not like it’s going to harm you. You can fill in Rosa a bit more while I’m gone.” I looked at his wife and grinned. “By the way, ponies love being scratched behind the ears.”
Rosa blinked and then stared at Phil with curiosity.
Phil’s eyes widened again. “Mark – what are you doing to me?”
I gave him my best smile. “Don’t worry, pal. Everything’s going to be fine.” I didn’t wait for him to reply. I leaped through the mirror and back to Equestria. At least, seeing me go through the portal would lend credence to my words.
Twilight looked at me expectantly. “You returned sooner than I expected. How did it go?”
“The portal works fine, but we forgot something – the adaptation spell.”
The alicorn’s mouth dropped open. “Oh. Right. I’ll fix that immediately.”
“One other thing – Phil is married. We bumped into his wife while still ponies,” I said with a grin.
She raised an eyebrow. “How did that work out?”
“Hilariously. I’m going to be able to tease Phil about that for years! Anyway, seeing as he isn’t living alone, which I should not have assumed, I had better get some clothing enchantments. I don’t think Phil would appreciate me returning as a naked human in front of his wife.”
Twilight giggled. “I suppose not. I’ll get to work on the spell while you fetch them.”
She was finished well before I returned, so I stepped straight through the portal. I immediately spotted my friend and his wife on the bed. He was lying next to her with a goofy grin on his muzzle as she scratched his mane where I had suggested. A smile on Rosa’s face showed that she was enjoying the experience too.
“Should I come back later?” I asked with a smirk.
Neither had noticed my arrival and they were startled when I spoke. They both blushed profusely.
“No, no!” Rosa replied. “It’s fine.”
“You can go back to Equestria and return as a human right now, Phil.” I indicated my original form which was surprisingly unfamiliar after all these years. Even visits to Sunset’s Earth had not helped.
“No hurry,” Phil replied as Rosa continued to stroke him. Girls really loved ponies, it seemed. Especially ones that were also their husbands.
“Okay,” I said as I pulled out a chair from next to the dresser and sat down on it backwards. I folded my arms across the back of the chair and rested my chin on them. “I’ve told you about what happened to me for the past several years. Now it’s your turn. How did you meet Rosa and when did you get hitched? I have several mares who will want to know every juicy detail.”
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Awww, nice touch, being able to get back in touch with Phil. Now he can visit his friend all he wants once more!
This is a very entertaining chapter, we got to see Phil again and his wife Rosa. I can't wait to see Mark as a full human in the next chapter.
...i'd sort of like to see a picture of that...
"My name is Rose, and I know a nanny that's out of this world, they and their whole heard. You won't believe the stories our kids can tell."
You gave me my chrysalis time.....you live for another day
This chapter was amazing!
Great to see Chrysalis relationship blooming. Phils trip to Equestria was a great idea!
Pinkie Pie still needs a special somepony
With a stable portal to earth they could secretly Import human tech to Equestria!
Computers, electric cars and stuff. Perhaps Space travel tech?
So happy to see this story continue!
*eyebrow raise*
I thought she only did that with the particular perplexed pony she was interested in.
Guess she just likes to give transformed apes a hard time.
When your husband accidentally a pony...
The power of being scratched behind the ear
10431083
patreon, paypal or ko-fi?
I soooooooo bucking called it!!!!
And so Phil finally makes contact with Mark and even enriched himself with that "shitty" prank so many years ago. It will be interesting to hear about his life next chapter.
Wonder how Mark's sister would take to coming to Equestria?
10432610
In the canon she will hook up with Grilled Cheese who was voiced by Weird Al Yankovic.
10432755
I think we could hardly be and more away from canon than we are...
So much fun with mirrors ahead. How about if Phil now has high tech companies, he starts looking into getting the Pie family to grow his new offering of crystal optical quantum processors? Or see how difficult it is for them to make isotopically pure silicon crystals in the 18 inch diameter range?
This chapter has so much that I loved about the early chapters. :)
It's effectively a contact story all over again, it's got great character scenes... I just love it.
10432755
It was Cheese Sandwich actually.
Hmm... That doesn't really scan.
10432737
Kofi is simplest - https://ko-fi.com/goldfur
Oddly brings to mind...
10432852
That is correct Goldfur, thanks for the correction. But it takes a party pony to keep up with a party pony. Am I right?
"If I had fingers..."
10432861
Whoops.
My bad. Forgot to include the song credits.
Aria from Madame Butterfly (translated to English) by Giacomo Puccini
Annie's Song by John Denver
Oh come on, Mark. Bring the whole herd through!
Uuu yeah... ~♡
10432983
Okay, that makes more sense.
This cannot be the end, Yes! Gold Fur is just just cleaning up the edges of this series before moving onto the next, that will be centered around the life and times of Phil and Rosa as they get a taste of Equstria!~
Let's hope it doesn't have the same effect that emotional jelly has on an alicorn mare
Well that's just strange
Hehe so cute!
10432610
You forgot that they already have access to Star Trek level tech (Cosmic Lotus), but until they get a starship-sized portal in orbit ... not to mention EQG (and other similar realms) ...
Hey Goldy, if the accommodation (or translation) spell wasn't part of the redone matrix, why was Phil transformed in the first place (or in her haste, Twi just made it one-way
)??
10433793
Earth portal was fully funtional. The shifting spell is as it seem always started in the entry portal.
awesome chapter and having the portal fixed is grate..
having Phil in the story is grate i love things.
10433830
Convenient but wouldn't that mean that it would have to be applied to the end mirror to stay functioning rather than the starting mirror?
Or would it be three spells, the linkage spell and two accommodation spells, one on each end ...
10433863
Since im not the Author i can only guess...
10433793
Cosmic Lotus happens way in the future of the House Path dimension. That hasn't happened yet in Mark Wells' universe.
The adaptation spell is always on the departing portal so that the person arrives in a compatible form. While in most cases it would not matter, in a few, you don't want to start transforming when it's already too late. Additionally, new portals have to be established blindly so there isn't a similar spell at the other end, so the spell was designed specifically to operate independently of that need.
10434024
So 'someone' missed this when resynchronizing then
[technically making it a separate/separational (sub)spell then]
As for House Path, it's within a (non-alicorn) lifetime (back of the envelope maxes at 160-ish)
Or that Maud Pie can nonchalantly toss a boulder several miles away, and set off a nuclear detonation with it.
Surprised and disappointed that Twilight and the others didn’t follow Mark to Phill’s home, especially given how eagerly Twilight wanted to check out yet another world, and Penny for being Penny.
Loved how Phill complained about how he got so filthy rich*...
*Accidental pun not accidental
oh, that's true in Ponyville, but most ponies in Canterlot and Manehattan usually wear clothes.
Breaking news: god of lightning spotted in shitty town.
10436212
Raiden? Or Thor? X)
10436804
My argument was that Cozy needs to face the music, and be punished as is. Not be pardoned because she is a "child". Never understood ANYONE defending Cozy in the cartoon.
10437086
Nah, I'm not defending her either. Child or not some crimes are way too huge to pardon. Sending her to Tartarus, though, was a stupid idea. She'd fit better in a mental health ward since she's a literal psychopath. Not that she didn't deserve Tartarus, just maybe there was a chance to heal her just to let her comprehend at least fraction of a pain she caused.
10438923
In this story’s canon, Cozy Glow is an adult. Her diminutive size is the result of dwarfism. From her job interview to her sentencing, she has been treated like the adult she is by everyone in the story.
10439175
My point stands. Both here and in the show she is a psychopath and mental ward instead of Tartarus might've been a better place for her. Not that it would help her much in this story and of course after second encounter locking her in the neverending dream was a better idea. Maybe even better if they awoke her right before her death to make her realize that her years of "success" never happened. On the other hand, Luna likely will make her dream as realistic and dark as possible, so waking up might become a relief and keeping her asleep until the very end is a better idea. And with sufficiently horrible dream there's always a chance she'll understand what's wrong with her quest for power even if too late for any kind of redemption. Heh, in a way she actually end up in a mental ward.
10438923
Disagree. How long do you think "hospital" gonna hold her? It's way hardder to escape prison, or actual Hell. Every MINUTE she would spend in a "civilian institution" is one of her being able to escape. She's not gonna get cured, she's too smart, and MAY feign her status. She is smart enoug to UNDERSTAND and LOGICALLY throw away all the friendship points. She is smart enough to fake friendship, she was undiscovered for some time...
10439275
The problem here is mental ward is easier to escape than Tartarus. So no, to not take any chanches she needs to go to Hell, literally.
10440185
Well, unless they have sure ways to detect lies with magic... and it seems they don't, her intellect and craftiness are indeed a serious issue. So, maybe it actually was the best possible prison for her at the moment. What i do agree with is the way they imprisoned her here second time.
10440219
Mental ward is for inept, not smart people. Smart people should go to prison.
10440227
10440219
Hey! How about they make a place that's a hospital, mental ward, AND a prison. The best of all worlds! We'll call it... Arkham Asylum!
Yeah, that will work out great!