• Published 30th Jul 2018
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Off The Mark - Goldfur



Mark Wells only bought an old mirror, so why did he now have hooves, wings and green fur? And where was he? Maybe this great and powerful princess could tell him?

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Chapter 80 - Families

Dear Mark Wells,

Ummm… Have you ever had a situation when you don’t know whether your subordinates are grossly incompetent or stunningly brilliant? Applejack and Rainbow Dash are twisting my brain into knots!

They took a group of students out on a field trip supposedly to teach them about teamwork, only to demonstrate every feasible way how to NOT work as a team. Not settling for that, they moved on to unfeasible ways!

The students finally took charge and worked together to overcome obstacles while their “teachers” sat back and did nothing. Despite the multiple disasters, the youths were lavish with their praise, saying the “acting” showed more than words ever could how critical teamwork is for group success.

I’m just not convinced that it was an act.

The pupils usurped my authority by jointly giving Applejack and Rainbow Dash the Teacher of the Month award. I’ll not let that happen again. Especially since I’ll have to pay to get the two halves of the trophy joined back together before awarding it next month. I don’t care how funny the students find the antics of those two; can’t they stop play fighting (or real fighting) for ten minutes?

~ ~ ~

I put down the letter and chuckled. Apparently Cozy didn't understand the relationship between those two. Even a dunce like me could tell that they had the hots for each other and they liked to try to show off to their marefriend. However, their hyper-competitive personalities were so similar that they inevitably ended up with conflict and drama instead.


There were several aspects of winter that I enjoyed. The snow-capped roofs made Canterlot picture-postcard pretty for starters. Foals loved to make snowponies and have snowball fights. I might have been guilty of throwing one or two myself. Sitting in a warm café, drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows and eating warm cinnamon doughnuts was a particular pleasure. Thankfully, the current weather while cold was not too frigid and there wasn’t any wind chill factor, so that made those indulgences even more pleasant.

Since being very publicly coronated, traveling around the city was a lot trickier than when I was just Trixie’s advisor. Now, besides my personal bodyguard, I was normally shadowed by Royal Guards. This was understandable but hardly conducive to my goal of casually interacting with the citizens. Pomp and formality were for the Court; while I was out among the common ponies, I wanted to be like them as much as I could. This was very hard to do as ponies loved to treat royalty like… well… royalty. I just wanted to shoot the breeze with anypony I happened to interact with. This was difficult at best during the warmer months but, right now, I was cloaked in anonymity.

Actually, I was cloaked in a very stylish piece of apparel designed by (who else?) Rarity. While it ostensibly protected me from the cold, as a pegasus, now pegacorn, I was quite resistant to these chilly temperatures even without clothing. However, by keeping my wings close to my body and allowing the cape to cover my entire barrel including my cutie mark, I became just another unicorn stallion, albeit a smaller than average one. It was amazing the difference that made. I could wander the streets without anypony blinking an eye. I also had Gemini on my back, all bundled-up against the cold. They were in their unicorn filly form so we were just one more stallion and his daughter enjoying the brisk winter day.

Of course, I still had my bodyguard – Penny would have ripped me a new one if I tried to sneak out without protection. She did concede that a tall batpony following me everywhere was rather suspicious, so it was Crimson Boulder wearing a cloak over his armor who had the duty this day.

However, my other companion might have had a part in distracting from the three of us. There weren’t too many griffons who made Canterlot their home and the young cock walking by my side drew a few curious looks. Because Gallus had not been publicly announced as my ward, he was relatively anonymous for now. That would change in the future, but we would enjoy it while we could.

Now – about that cocoa and doughnuts… Gallus and I stepped into the shop with Crimson on our heels. Joe looked over to see who had rung the bell on the door and his eyes lit up in recognition. There was no fooling him as I was one of his regulars.

“Good afternoon, Mark! Your usual?” The proprietor was used to dealing informally with his famous customers.

“Yep. And double for my pal here. He looks like he’s wasting away.” I patted Crimson’s rock-solid barrel.

Joe and I chuckled as the earth pony rolled his eyes. He was still twice my mass and my regular training sessions with him showed that he was still in top form. I had resolved to fatten him up in an attempt to slow his reflexes but I think he was on to me.

I indicated Gallus with my hoof. “This fine young griffon is a new addition to my family. Gallus, I’d like you to meet Donut Joe, the finest purveyor of pastries in the kingdom.”

A frigid gust of wind blew open the front door of the shop, carrying what sounded like a moaning scream with it. “NOoooooooooooo….”

Quickly I amended what I had just said. “… except for cupcakes and cakes from Sugarcube Corner.”

The breeze changed direction, slamming the door closed.

“Pleased to meet you, sir,” Gallus said into the intervening silence. He hadn’t noticed anything unusual. What was I thinking? He’d been living in Ponyville for the whole semester. This probably was quite ordinary.

Joe grinned, and replied, “Same here, young fella. But the name’s Joe, not sir. What would you like to eat and drink?”

Gallus looked at me questioningly and I said, “Order anything you like, but I recommend the hot cocoa.”

The griffon nodded. “I’ll have what Mark’s having… for starters.”

I chuckled. “Now that’s what I expect from a hungry teen.”

Joe shared my grin. “Coming right up! I’ll bring them all to the back booth for you.”

That booth was our normal place to sit because it afforded us some privacy if we wanted to chat with Joe or the other staff. However, it also allowed my bodyguard to keep watch with a wall at his (or her) back, making the Security ponies much happier. For these reasons, Joe would hold the table in reserve unless it got too busy. It was fairly crowded right now as many ponies, a griffon, and even two evolved changelings had the same idea as me but fortunately our table was still available. And if anypony had recognized me from Joe calling out my name, they kept it to themselves. That was pretty typical of Joe’s clientele and another reason why I liked coming here.

We made ourselves comfortable in the booth. There was plenty of room remaining and we would have been happy to have Smolder along with us, but the dragoness had begged off. Not too surprising, really. This was a species that enjoyed bathing in lava and made their home where the climate was always warm – Equestrian winter was one step from a frozen hell to them. Smolder was rugged up until she was almost unrecognizable under layers of clothing whenever she went outside. Hmm… maybe next time I could arrange with Twilight to teleport her here to join us. I’d have to forewarn everypony first though. Having a dragon pop into their midst unexpectedly was a good way to panic skittish ponies. However, for now, Trixie was keeping her company at the castle. My wife was none too fond of winter – something about too many nights on the road spent in a poorly insulated wagon.

When Joe returned with our cocoa and snacks, we conversed for a while. I explained Gallus’s relationship with me and how it came about. “And if he brings around Smolder or any other friends for a treat, you can charge it all to my account.” I gave Gallus a pointed look. “As long as he promises not to abuse the privilege.”

“Sounds fair,” he replied. “Maybe when school resumes next week, I can bring my pals up here for a visit.”

“That’s a good idea. Maybe explore the city a bit while you’re at it.” I glanced at Crimson who gave a small nod of understanding. I knew he’d make arrangements for some discreet guardians for the group.

After we were sufficiently fortified with warm sugary goodness, we ventured out onto the streets again. Now, you might think that the city would be pretty dead outside in the middle of winter, but you don’t know ponies too well. There was a street fair happening which was our main excuse besides Joe’s place to go outdoors. This was a family day for me, my daughter-son, and my new adopted son – an opportunity for us to bond over some mutually enjoyable activities. We must have visited every single booth, some more than once. Gallus gravitated to the games of skill like ring toss and dart throwing. Gemini couldn’t get enough of the Pony Race booth where each contestant aimed a stream of water at a target to get their clockwork pony to run faster. My foal definitely was in it for the fun. Gemini rolled off their seat with laughter every time one of the ponies lurched forward in their clumsy way. The funniest thing since “Fizz Fizz”, apparently. Trixie and Smolder didn’t know what they were missing.

It was a tired but happy group that eventually returned to the castle. I had brought back a bag of doughnuts for my wife and another bag of the treats with gem-sprinkles on them for Smolder. We sat around the fireplace and talked about the day that we’d had, and Gallus showed off the inflatable hydra toy prize that he had won at one of the games of skill at the fair—fortunately not life sized. It was all so perfect.

Winter only lasted a few short weeks in Equestria – just long enough for plants to go dormant for pruning, insect pests to be killed by the cold, and plant diseases kept at bay. Some ponies liked it for the winter sports but for others, Winter Wrap-up couldn’t come soon enough. It wouldn’t be long now before Spring was here and Gallus would go back to school. But, for now, we could be a real family.


Speaking of family, Shining Armor and Cadance visited Canterlot to share the holidays with Twilight for a couple of days. Naturally, they brought along Flurry Heart and Shiny Button. The latter surprised us as he currently looked like an alicorn colt.

Apparently, Button had spontaneously taken that form one day, seemingly oblivious to the stir that he caused. He certainly looked even more like Shining’s son that way, not that his parents cared. The changeling colt had endeared himself thoroughly by this time and was obviously enjoying a steady diet of rich love.

“Does he stay that way now?” Twilight asked.

Shining shook his head. “No, although he’s remaining as an alicorn for longer each time. He usually switches back to his natural changeling form when he’s tired or eating. We think it’s because he hasn’t gotten used to feeding on emotions and retaining his pony form at the same time yet.”

I nodded. “I suppose that makes sense. I’ll ask Chrysalis about it next time I see her.”

“Trixie thinks you would be better off asking Diadem,” my wife opined.

“Perhaps, but Chrysalis is Button’s dam, so she may be interested in his progress.”

Cadance’s expression soured a little. “I may be the Princess of Love but I still have difficulty accepting her relationship to our son.”

I gave her a sympathetic look. “I know, but we do not make progress by ignoring that which we don’t like.” I sighed. “Heaven knows I keep trying to get through to Chrysalis, but she’s a hard nut to crack.”

Shining grimaced. “Are you sure she’s worth the effort?”

“No, but I’ve been surprised before.” I shrugged. “Still, it must make things a little easier for your subjects that Button doesn’t obviously look like he’s related to her now.”

Cadence shook her head. “Most Crystal Kingdom citizens never experienced the invasion of Canterlot, so it’s the ponies who came later who have a reason for their concern. The majority of those also work for the Crown, and they’ve gotten used to having a changeling prince around. So, really, whether Button is in his natural form or like he is at the moment doesn’t matter to us.”

Shining added, “And we won’t be forcing him to make a choice either.”

“It might not matter anyway,” Twilight said.

Cadance raised an inquiring eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I’m reminded of Free Agent from the House Path world. He’s actually a changeling but he spontaneously became a griffon after living with his natural father and adoptive mother for a while. He stayed that way all his life and didn’t realize that he was a changeling until years later. I believe that this is a normal response by changelings that are in a permanent relationship with another species. Adaptation is their primary survival trait, after all.”

Shining Armor looked thoughtful. “So, it’s probable that Button will soon remain in alicorn colt form? A bit of me and a bit of Cadance? Sounds great to me.”

Cadance gave her husband a kiss. “Me too, darling.”

I smiled, pleased by how they had taken to their new son. “On a related subject, you’re really starting to show now, Cadance. Do you think you’ll have a colt this time?”

The pink alicorn brightened. “While I’d like that, I suspect it’ll be another filly. At least, it feels the same as when I was carrying Flurry.”

Twilight said, “I think she’ll like having a younger sister. She already has an older brother, after all.”

“I think so too. But it’s not as if I won’t give her another chance at more,” Cadance said with a small smirk.

“Just how many do you plan to have?” I asked.

“I’m the Alicorn of Love – why should I set a cap?”

Shining said, “That’s Cady-speak for ‘I will stop when Shiny can’t keep it up anymore’.”

I chuckled. “Any sign of that happening soon?”

“Nope!” he replied with a huge grin.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Stallions!”

Ah! Family is such fun.


After school resumed, Gallus returned to the dormitory that he shared with his friends. He wanted their companionship and I concurred with his desire. Trixie and I still had the weekends with him, and sometimes we also hosted a special event for him with his pals. I think we struck a fair balance between his and our needs and desires. And while griffons are naturally taciturn, Gallus could hardly wait to tell us about anything particularly new and exciting that he had learned. Except for history, perhaps. He kept moaning about failing that. Of course, we never expected this unusual tale…

“… and when the Tree of Harmony declared that we do have friendship within us, it opened up the way out of the caves under the school and we climbed back into the library.”

I nodded thoughtfully. “So, once you all overcame your fears and doubts and showed your commitment to your friends, you had passed the test?”

Gallus nodded. “That’s right.”

“And Smolder really does like cute and pretty things?”

The griffon looked embarrassed. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

My wife spoke up, giving me a condescending look. “No matter – Trixie had realized that already.”

Well, that certainly explained Smolder’s Hearth’s Warming present. “I never knew that you had a fear of small enclosed spaces. Or any of the others’ concerns for that matter. Gallus, I’m still learning how to be a parent, but I want you to know that you can always come to me or Trixie if you have a problem. That’s kind of what we signed up for when we offered to take you into our family. It’s great that you have so many friends to support you, but don’t be afraid to approach us too.”

“Umm… what if it’s something that you don’t like?”

I chuckled. “I think that you know by now that not everything in life is going to be pleasant or satisfactory. Doubtless, some things that you do growing up will end up displeasing me and vice versa. The Tree of Harmony showed you that you had problems to overcome and you had to work at solving them. There will be other tests, and I’m not talking about school. Sometimes, things aren’t going to work out the way you would have liked but don’t let that stop you.”

“Just like I didn’t let my fears stop me from helping my friends, right?” Gallus said.

“Exactly. And don’t let your difficulty with history prevent you from trying your hardest.”

Gallus groaned. “Did you have to bring that up?”

I chuckled. “Don’t let it stress you too much. I’ll let you into a little secret – I sucked at history too when I was in school. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it – I just couldn’t remember names and dates when it came to exams. I barely scraped through with a pass. It didn’t stop me from excelling in other areas which led to my first career.”

“Okay, I promise to try my best.”

“That’s all we ask.”

“I’d better get back to school. My friends and I have a study group this evening.”

“Right. Thanks for coming over and telling us about your little adventure. Oh, and could you ask Smolder to come to see me this weekend?”

“Sure. Why?”

I smiled mysteriously. “That’s between me and her.”

Gallus stared at me for a moment before shrugging. “Okay then. Seeya.”

He gave us both a quick hug before leaving.

When he was gone, my wife said, “Can Trixie guess what you want to talk to Smolder about?”

I grinned. “You’re the Great and Perceptive One – I have no doubt you’ve figured it out already.”

“Should Trixie invite Smolder’s friends to the next event?”

“I don’t think Gallus would forgive you if you didn’t,” I replied with a smirk.

My wife’s smile matched mine before she changed the subject. “How do you think Twilight will react when she learns of the Tree of Harmony’s evolution?”

I chuckled. “It’ll probably send her to geek heaven, followed by an intense investigation. Hmm… y’ know, her castle can be considered the offspring of the Tree. Bearing that in mind and Gallus’ recent revelations, it goes a long way to explain how it can adapt to its occupier’s needs.”

“It’s a living, sapient thing, you mean?”

“Most likely. I can picture it now – our co-regent trying to have conversations with the castle walls. How long before our subjects start wondering if she’s gone completely loopy?”

Trixie started laughing and I had to join her. That would be so like Twilight.


I entered Celestia’s old chambers with my wife. The six Element Bearers followed, all chatting simultaneously. How they each made sense of what the other five were saying, I’ll never understand, regardless of which form I was in.

Trailing them were the three Royal Advisors, whose demeanors couldn’t have been any different. Raven Inkwell was prancing on her tippy-hooves with a Pinkie Pie-sized smile on her face. Moon Dancer had her nose stuck in a book. I asked her once if she avoided running into anything by echolocation. She had laughed and said that only happened when the book was especially fascinating. Princess Diadem trembled slightly and looked physically smaller today. The ears splayed back on her head and wide eyes told me in more than words that she didn’t feel like she belonged here. The reason why was the two mares who were the last to enter. After the guards in the hallway closed the door, they both shrugged off their cloaks and dropped the illusions that hid their true forms.

“Ahhhhh!” said Celestia as she stretched her wings. “Luna, remind me to disguise myself as a pegasus next time.”

The Night Princess turned to her with a smirk. “Oh, thou canst be assured I won’t let my dearest sister live down any mistake. That is my burden, and I have years to catch up on.” She looked around. “To mine eyes, this looks nearly identical to thy chamber in our Canterlot.” Luna’s gaze stopped at one wall. “Though I don’t recall seeing that bookcase and thy full-length mirror is missing.”

My wife said, “Ah… Trixie particularly enjoys that mirror and had it moved to our new quarters. The rest of the furnishings are unchanged from when Trixie became a princess. Trixie found no reason to alter them.”

Celestia nodded with a pleased smile as she finished scanning the room. “I agree. The pony who decorated this room is truly a genius.” She raised a hoof to her chest and gasped dramatically. “Oh, sorry! I was talking about myself again, wasn’t I?”

Luna poked her with a hoof. “Thou canst only dream of possessing such talent. Trust me, for I would know.”

Luna grinned. “I can not in good conscience allow thy head to grow even larger than its already monstrous size. Mayhap, that might just get ponies starting cults to worship thee... again.”

“Oh, I had almost forgotten! Dealing with those imbeciles was most cathartic! I suppose pony worship was a natural consequence of quelling the city-states and assuming absolute authority over our growing country. I did enjoy breaking wings and singeing coats of ponies that decided the ‘Night Deity’ was the only source of Absolute Truth. Remember that one group of earth ponies heard that you liked salmon and all they would eat was that fish? And raw?”

Luna laughed freely. “I despise salmon! The only fish our family could acquire on account of its abundance. I loathe it with great passion. A millennium is too short a time to yearn for its taste again.” She narrowed her eyes. “If I remember correctly, thou didst enjoy thy cogent persuasion of the jackanapes before they died of malnutrition.”

“Indeed. Nothing short of extreme measures would convince them to see the error of their ways. Even so, we had to control ourselves. Enough ponies died fighting for their petty warlords before our arrival. I had no wish to add to the body count for such an infraction.” Celestia smiled. “Still, I admit I secretly enjoyed answering pleas to the ‘Immaculate Sun Goddess’ by sending you in my stead.”

Luna motioned with her head towards the balcony. Celestia nodded and the pair walked that way.

Twilight blinked rapidly. Apparently, hearing such a carefree attitude towards violence from any Celestia jarred the purple alicorn’s sensibilities. I knew the Equestria of over a thousand years ago was a brutal place. Obviously, that also held true for the House Path dimension.

Luna barked out a laugh. “Ha! Naturally, the ‘Divine Bringer of the Sun’ had more churches founded in thy name. That meant I got more exercise than thee, which suited me well enough. Didst thou knowest I would yell at them while knocking their heads together? ‘Mine sister wetteth her bed when she was ten! I saw her eateth her very own snot yesterday! What kind of fool worshipeth that kind of pony?’”

Celestia stopped in her tracks just as she stepped onto the balcony. “Luna! You didn’t!”

Luna’s horn lit followed immediately by Celestia’s. The sun and moon quickly changed places in the sky, quite a bit faster than I had ever seen before.

The blue mare shrugged. “Every word was true, dear sister. The greatest foe in any battle is the enemy’s morale. Crush that, and they never return to the field.”

I said, “Umm... Perhaps you should not have lowered the sun and raised the moon.” Both mares looked at me then back outside. They wore the same abashed smile when they turned around to face the rest of us.

“Oops,” said Luna. “We dost perform our duty without forethought.”

“Maybe no pony noticed,” offered her sister.

A scroll appeared in front of Twilight’s horn and fell to the floor – followed by another, and another, and another.

Then the same cascade started for Trixie. Then for me.

Applejack’s voice came out in a drawl loud enough to be heard over Rainbow’s laughter. “Wanna bet on that, Sugarcube?”

Celestia and Luna hunched over a bit and snuck back inside. I could only hope nopony had looked up at the balcony.

A certain Princess of Friendship spent the next ten minutes scrawling off “false alarm” notes to every current and past member of the Guild of Mages. I don’t know what oaths she was muttering, but they did not sound friendly.

Fluttershy draped a wing over her friend’s back. Her gentle and sympathetic smile was constant. “Just breathe, Twilight. Relax. It’s all over now.”

In stages, the purple mare’s grumbling became quieter. Finally, she took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, then let it out slowly. “Thanks, Fluttershy. I don’t want to go through that again.”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Speak for yourself. That was hilarious, especially your pouty-face. I’m gonna announce to Canterlot that their princesses are back—Hey!”

The last bit was in response to a lasso tightening around the pegasus’ barrel, pinning her wings and dragging Dash down to the floor.

Applejack growled, “Y’all ain’t doing none of that, Sugarcube.”

The pegasus grinned and whispered just loud enough for everypony to hear. “Pssst! Enough with the ropes. We don’t want anypony to know about that.”

The farm mare flicked her lasso in a quick pattern and now Rainbow’s muzzle was clamped shut by a second loop of rope. That didn’t distract anypony from Applejack’s scarlet cheeks.

Rarity’s voice cut through the chuckles from all around us. “Rainbow is quite correct, dear. Entirely the wrong knot for the job. Please feel free to see me if you need some pointers.”

Wait. Did that mean that Rarity...? Well, I knew what would happen if I asked. Time to set that thought aside for the moment.

I placed my hoof onto the wall next to the bookcase. This time, I was in my pegasus stallion form so there was only one white alicorn in the room for this experiment. “Celestia, would you mind putting your horn into the hole hidden over here?”

“Of course. I am most eager to see this sanctuary my counterpart created.” The white mare’s horn lit and a golden shimmer of magic covered the area of marble I was pointing to. Slowly, a black circle appeared. When she had lined up her appendage, the glowing field winked out, leaving her delicate horn nearly touching apparently unblemished marble. Slowly, she pushed forward, her horn disappearing until her forehead touched the wall. As before when I did this, everypony held their breath.

A familiar ‘click’ issued from behind the bookcase and I saw Twilight’s aura rotate the cabinet outward. The portal blended seamlessly into the wall, making it appear as if the darkened chamber beyond was adjacent to this one.

The delighted gasps from our two visitors made me smile. Just as these Royal Sisters had told us, their House Path dimension contained nothing like it.

As she started forward, I held out a forehoof to hold Luna back. At her quizzical stare, I said, “We don’t know what security measures our Celestia put in place. I hold a matchstick spell when I am the first to enter and the last to leave.”

“Sensible,” said Celestia as she poked her glowing horn into the room beyond the wall. Immediately, a wind came up, disturbing the dust. As the smokeless torches lit in a sequence reaching to the rear of the chamber, I saw the alicorn’s eyes open wider and mouth hang open further.

“Sister!” The Sun Princess entered the room at a full gallop. How she did this from a standing start, I have no idea. “It’s here! It’s all here!”

As the two mares pranced about the chamber, I could hear snippets of their conversation while the rest of us occupied ourselves by staying out of their way. Celestia soon had her sister trapped under an outstretched wing, but Luna didn’t seem to mind in the least, her ears pointed forward in interest. All of the Element Bearers chuckled at their enthusiasm and for good reason. Both looked every inch like teenage fillies dashing through a candy store.

“My parade armor that Rolled Steel gifted me on my first centennial! … The falchion forged by Ghost Blade! Hmm. This one has seen more use than mine. ... And here! I wore this outfit to my two hundredth Summer Sun Celebration! ... Do you remember the pegasus colt I had a crush on when I was little? Semiplume won that carving for me at the Hearth’s Warming Fair when I was twelve. ... Mother’s scarf! ... And... oh.”

Celestia stopped her dashing around the room and sat down with a thump. Her wings went slack, freeing her sister. The wood scaffolding holding the room’s paintings glowed in her magic for a moment and the portrait of the stalwart earth pony floated out. His red coat reminded me of Big Mac. Cleanly defined muscles and a rigid stance identified him as a soldier, though his eyes and smile showed a gentleness that belied his strength.

Luna asked, “Is that him?”

Celestia’s hoof went to her mouth. “Yes. I ... I need...” Tears flowed freely from her eyes.

This time it was Luna that put a comforting wing around her sister. I came up next to the blue mare. “I didn’t hear how Mountain Blood became so dear to your sister.” I heard the rest of the herd trot up behind me.

Luna gave Celestia a squeeze with her wing before turning to ten expectant faces. “Well, first thou dost need to understand that my sister fell into despondency for years after she banished me to the moon. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, Mountain Blood was born that very day. He advanced through the ranks to become his ruler’s personal bodyguard when he was a mere thirty turns of the seasons. Then he began playing The Slow Game. Little by little, with a comment here and a jest there, he drew my broken sister out of her shell. After ten years, they progressed to gifts and the occasional touch. After twenty, she declared her love to her stallion and through him to her ponies again. There shall never be another who could hold as special a place in the heart of mine sister.”

Behind me, I recognized Rarity’s familiar gasp. I’d be hearing about how romantic this all was for years.

Diadem walked up next to me, her ears pointing forward as she studied the depiction. I put a hoof on her withers to get her attention and shook my head.

She blinked a few times and whispered into my ear. “But she’s giving off such a confusing mix of emotions right now – grief being the most prominent. Wouldn’t seeing him again make her happy?”

“No, Diadem. Your heart is in the right place, but that would just make her feel the loss even greater. Trust me.”

She gazed into my eyes, apparently to gauge how sure I was. Then she nodded.

I asked Luna, “Do you know if your sister had a painting like this?”

Celestia answered. “Many years ago. Many, many years ago.” She took a hoofkerchief floated to her by Twilight’s magic and used it to wipe her eyes. She followed that by blowing her nose with a loud and very undignified honk. Briefly, I wondered if the hoofkerchief was made of priceless Nipponese silk. Well, not my problem. For any ‘Celestia’ to use however she wished, I suppose.

The white alicorn continued. “I started a collection like this. Cherished mementos and gifts. Diaries and dresses. Artifacts of my sister’s that I held in the hope of her return. All of them were destroyed while I was away with my armies fighting the diamond dogs. Most of Canterlot burned on the Day of the Red Feather when griffons attacked eight-hundred years ago. That included the castle which was still under construction and full of wood scaffolding. It was gutted with fire and collapsed on itself.” She sighed. “After losing everything, I didn’t have the heart to start over again.”

Luna smiled and raised her chin. Her eyes twinkled and she pulled me close with a very strong wing. “Prince Mark, I think it appropriate that thou allowst my Celestia to keepeth this painting ... as what you call in this era a ‘door prize’.”

I chuckled. “No, I don’t think so. The other Celestia might be a bit upset if she returned to find any of her most cherished belongings missing.”

“Let us ask, shall we?” Luna craned her neck upwards. “Say, This-World’s-Celestia? Dost thou mind if my sister receiveth a tiny, insignificant reminder of her time here? No?”

She looked back at me and her horn glowed slightly. Her wing gripped me tighter than ever. This time I saw slit pupils and fangs. “I hear no objections.”

Two could play at this game. My chest was pressed into her side but my forelegs were free. I used them to tickle her barrel with both forehooves. She squee’d like a foal, releasing me from her wing’s grasp. Her horn glow winked out, causing the illusion on her teeth and eyes to dispel.

After sputtering for a moment, Luna said, “Such impertinence! Very well, we will settle for a long-term loan.”

I snorted. “‘Long-term’ means something entirely different for alicorns. Still no.”

“Bah!”

Celestia spoke up. “Sister, enough.”

“But he is so much fun to tease, Tia! He fights back, unlike most of the stallions of this time. If it wasn’t for Long Path, I’d have no hope for any of them.”

The white alicorn drew her sister into a hug, which was quickly returned. After a while, Celestia pulled back. “It is enough to know I can come here when I wish to see his likeness again.” She took a deep breath and put on an unconvincing smile. Her horn glowed and the portrait gently floated back to the supporting framework. “Now let’s see what other surprises ‘other me’ has in store for us.”

Each of the Elements had their favorite items from the Celestia CollectionTM. This version was happy to supply the backstory for each, except for a short sword and blouse that did not spark any memories. Whether this was from events unfolding differently between universes or the items being forgotten as unimportant, we would likely never know.

Ultimately, all of us stood in front of the two bookcases. Celestia’s eyes sparkled. “I never thought I would see these again! And after the fire, I no longer kept a diary.”

Raven’s magic floated Volume Thirty-Five from her saddlebags back to its spot on the bookshelf. She said, “I’m so looking forward to hearing all the memories that these volumes spark! I have so many questions about everything the diaries talked around instead of talking about.”

Encased in a golden glow, Volume One floated down to the floor in front of the prone alicorn. Emotions ran quickly across Celestia’s face as she flipped through the book at a rapid pace, only needing a second to read each page. I suppose it made sense that she could speed read after over a thousand years of governance. Celestia was already levitating Volume Two to her side before she was a quarter way through the first volume. Raven Inkwell lay down next to the alicorn, levitating three stacks of index cards out of her saddlebags. As Celestia flipped through the first book, Trixie’s advisor stopped her with a whispered question. The alicorn paused to answer, only resuming her torrid reading pace when Raven had finished scribbling her notes.

Luna cleared her throat. “While my dear sister is otherwise occupied, I believe thou hast a salient reason for bringing me here? Regarding what secrets my counterpart has hidden away.”

Twilight jumped like she had been pricked by a pin. “Oh, of course!” The lavender mare’s horn lit and the bookcases rotated away from the wall like double doors, revealing the stone wall behind them.

Luna trotted up and skeptically eyed the hole at the height of her muzzle. I could just hear her mumble, “Yes, this is wider at the base than the other. It would not fit mine sister’s horn.” She hesitated. “This hadst best not be one of Tia’s elaborate pranks.”

Slowly, carefully, she pushed her horn into the space. When she bottomed out, nothing happened.

The silence was broken by Pinkie Pie. “That’s it? No party?”

Rainbow Dash said, “Nah. I don’t believe it. No way is Princess Luna that lame.”

Twilight said, “Princess, please channel a bit of magic into your horn.”

“Oh? Why didst thou not sayest ... never mind.”

This time, there was a WHOOMPH sound as the air pressure equalized. Where there had been a blank wall moments before, I could now see a dark corridor just to Luna’s left. The princess backed up carefully to free her horn then craned her head to look down the passageway. She turned back to us and smiled, rearing for a few seconds while kicking her front legs. “Huzzah! On to adventure!”

Luna led us single-file through a roughly-hewn twisting passageway deeper underground. Those of us with horns spaced ourselves throughout the party to provide illumination. Studying the walls, I became fairly certain they were composed of limestone.

I heard a gasp from ahead of me followed by Luna’s voice. “Everypony stop and put out thy horns.”

All did so and absolute darkness surrounded us. It was not silent as I could hear the breathing of everypony before and behind me. Occasionally, Applejack’s muzzle or Rainbow Dash’s rump would jostle into me… or maybe I was bumping them by shifting in place. Regardless, the physical reminders of my friends being here filled me with comfort. Was that pony sensibilities taking hold in my psyche, making me feel safe as long as I was part of the herd? Did I feel the same way among my friends when I was a human? I honestly couldn’t remember.

After a minute or so, my eyes had adjusted enough to see a faint glow from up ahead, somewhere beyond the ponies in front.

“Follow,” said Luna. I felt Applejack grab hold of my tail with her teeth and did likewise with Rainbow Dash.

Slowly, we moved forward until I felt the walls open up around me. I took my place as the next in a line of ponies standing on the cavern floor. I felt Trixie wedge herself next to me on my left, pushing Applejack out of the way. Only when she was settled did I look up.

Patterns of green, violet, and blue lichens glowed in arcs and patches high overhead. The rock dome of the chamber must have been a hundred feet above us. My eyes traced down stalactites to their companion stalagmites rising from the floor which sat among a forest of stone cups and rounded projections of differing sizes. These structures ended at the edge of an underground stream. Following the water to its source, I saw a small waterfall at the highest point of the cavern. A tiny white fish jumped out of the water and fell back in with a plop. On our side of the stream, flowstone made a smooth but irregular surface that cascaded down to three round pools held in by rims of rock. In the dim light, I could tell the ground beneath us consisted of several different shades of stone. Bands of lighter or darker rock spread out in organic patterns beneath us. Directly across the chamber, I could see the outline of another passageway through the rock. Did it lead to a portal to Luna’s chambers in Canterlot? To somewhere in the Castle of Two Sisters? Or to another secret room filled with her memories?

Luna broke the silence. “What a wondrous place my counterpart found.” She flapped her wings until she landed on a huge stalagmite in the center of the room with a bulbous top. She squinted at the places her hooves touched the stone. “Why would there be hoof-shaped depressions sunk into… oh.”

We all knew why she had stopped. The acoustics of the dome overhead brought her voice back to us amplified and clarified somehow. She must be at the locus point made by the dome of the arching ceiling. Luna’s melodic tones slowly faded away as they bounced off the many walls and alcoves of the cavern.

Rarity said, “Isn’t it obvious, darling? Your counterpart came down here to sing.”

The Alicorn of the Night gaped for a moment then whipped her tail back and forth. “I… umm… “

Rainbow Dash spoke up. “You’ve totally got this, Princess! Give us what you’ve got!”

Supporting murmurs came from the audience and I sat down, pulling Trixie close with one wing and Rainbow with the other.

Luna settled and a smile slowly took over her face. “Oh, very well. I shall sing to thee the lully which mine mother would sing to Tia and me when we needed to sleep.”

Lully, lullah, thou little tiny child,
Bye bye, lully, lullay.
Thou little tiny child,
Bye-bye, lully, lullay.

O sisters too, how may we do
For to preserve this day
This poor youngling for whom we sing,
"Bye-bye, lully, lullay"?

Brutish the king, in his raging,
Chargèd he hath this day
His knights of might in his own sight
All young children to slay.

That woe is me, poor child, for thee
And ever mourn and may
For thy parting neither say nor sing,
"Bye-bye, lully, lullay." (*1)

As the last echoes of the mare’s voice faded into the distance, everypony clopped their hooves in a very restrained manner. Somehow, even Dash knew that this stone cathedral was not a place for clamorous applause. Kind of depressing and brutal lyrics for a lullaby, but I suppose that honestly reflected the age when it was composed.

Luna bowed her head in acknowledgment then swooped down to land in front of us. “Who is next? Who amongst the Element Bearers has the finest voice?”

All eyes landed on Fluttershy. She had remained nearly unnoticed until now, which I suspect was to her liking. She hid one eye behind her mane as she shrunk down. “Umm… I only have a nice voice after I’ve had poison joke. Sorry.”

“Wait,” I said. Rummaging through my saddlebags, my hoof finally came across the vial I sought. “Aha! I thought these old bags might have a… dose…” When I looked up, I saw exactly what kind of look Fluttershy used to cow a full-grown dragon. Let me tell you, THE STARE is not something to be ignored or laughed off.

My advisor came to my rescue. “Would… would you all mind if I gave it a try? I mean, I would really like to.”

That caused Fluttershy to look away. Fortunately for me, Trixie caught my limp form before my nose smacked into the stone floor.

The Element of Kindness said, “Of course! Nopony minds at all.” She spoke the last two words with a hint of steel and a barely hidden warning. Lots of sounds of agreement from all around.

Luna didn’t seem to notice the butter-colored monster in our midst. “Splendid! Up thou goest, Princess!”

After settling herself on the stone, Diadem smiled nervously. “This is from a batpony theater production. It closed some years ago but I think this song is perfect for our royal audience.”

Luna made a mild snorting noise and waved a hoof dismissively. Her ears, however, were pointed directly at my advisor. Diadem raised her head proudly and began.

Before Night Mother made the sea and the land,
Luna held all the stars in the frog of her hoof.
And they ran through her fetlock like grains of sand,
And one little star fell aloof…(*2)


In no uncertain terms, Pinkie declared the event to be a “singing party” and everypony had to take their turn. Trixie belted out a vaudeville number about “Miss Susie” (*3) where every verse that would end in a profanity instead used that word innocuously to start the next verse. When it was Applejack’s turn, Pinkie Pie stood on her back to help sing the Apple family song “Apples to the Core.” (*4) I followed their duo with “Thank Faust I’m a Country Colt!” (*5), may John Denver forgive me.

Only after everypony had their turn on top of the column – yes, even a bass baritone-voiced Fluttershy let loose with “Mighty Lak’ A Rose” (*6) – did we start our way back. Luna insisted the passageway on the far side of the chamber could wait until their next visit. “This way, thou art all sure to invite us back! Besides, we have left mine sister to her own devices for too long.”

As we emerged into Celestia’s chamber, Luna kept trying to get her point across to Moon Dancer, though to my ears it sounded more like the alicorn was trying to convince herself. “Perhaps Tia and I were rash to ban all worship of our Royal Personages. If ponies are inspired to create such marvelous songs about us, wouldst it not be fair to… sister, what troubles thee?”

Celestia squinted at the page before her. Volume Eight if the pile of books on her left was an honest indication. Raven had pulled out four more stacks of cards to go with the first three and she riffled through several stacks at once. Behind me, I heard the bookcases slide back to their original location.

The white alicorn sighed as she looked up. “I just don’t understand it, Luna. Most details are as I remember them, with only a few differences here and there. Then I run into a page like this one that is just… plain wrong. My majordomo at this time was Spring Gale, not Zesty Tart. He loved flying in airships, not ‘loathed.’ And he introduced a new variety of pear tree, not ‘a peanut tree.’ That doesn’t even exist!”

Luna tapped her chin with a hoof. “Most vexing. Didst perhaps thy write those pages while exhausted? Or drunk?”

That earned her a pointed stare. “First of all, it was my counterpart, not me. Secondly, the horn writing on those pages is just as neat. Compare the left and right pages here.” She floated the book to her sister who took it in her magic.

Luna brought the tome close to her muzzle. Moon Dancer and Twilight crowded in on either side to do the same. Wordlessly, the two book nerds came to the same conclusion. They moved back a step, having nothing to contribute.

As the Night Alicorn set the volume on the floor, Fluttershy’s deep rolling voice said, “Maybe their history is just that different from ours?”

The pegasus mare’s dramatic change of voice drew a wide-eyed stare from the Sun Princess. Meanwhile, Raven waved a few cards in the air with her magic. “No. Spring Gale is mentioned both before and after this date as the castle’s majordomo. Zesty Tart was the sous chef from sixty years earlier. These are exactly the type of inconsistencies I was hoping your world’s Celestia could clear up.”

I pulled the book closer, giving me the chance to examine it. Other than Celestia having dog-eared the upper corner of the left page, I could not see any significant differences between the style in which they were written.

Luna frowned. “Art thou sure? I dost not see the problem. A bad day. A trying session with ambassadors. Simple fatigue. All these could explaineth this happenstance.”

Pinkie Pie said, “A bad cupcake!”

Luna turned to her and nodded. “Several, but yes. That too.”

The white alicorn scowled and her horn glowed. Volume 1 floated over and opened to another dog-eared page. “Then explain this, dear sister. ‘Our stalwart earth pony royal guard Sharp Lance once again refuseth to become mine own personal bodyguard, just as he hath done for mine sister. Dear Luna was mightily impressed by his fortitude as he runneth like the wind. And such a noble heart beateth in yon chest! On his off days, he traveleth to be with his mother in the Smokey Mountains.’ ”

“Lies!” shouted Luna with ferocity, her wings spreading out and slightly forward—very clear pegasus body language indicating aggression. It worked on both Twilight and Moon Dancer. They skipped backward rather quickly.

Luna’s sister was not so easily cowed. “Art thou sure,’ dear sister? Mayhap thou didst partake in too much moonshine.”

“Mocking my speech as well as my sanity now, doth thee? No! Sharp Lance was a pegasus stallion of the highest quality, not an earth pony. He flew like the wind, not galloped. His mother Evening Gale lived in the White Tail Woods. She made the finest teacakes in all of Equestria.”

Celestia’s derisive smile didn’t change. She tilted her head back and forth. “Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong.”

“I know thou rememberest the same as I.” She stomped a hoof. “He told me I had no equal for preening his wings!”

That finally got Celestia to stop smiling. Her magic cut out and the book dropped to the floor, forgotten. The white alicorn gaped and stared without blinking at her sister.

Together, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash said, “Oooooo...”

I said, “What? What did I miss?”

Rarity came up to put a hoof on my withers. “Mark, dear – you should read more historical romances. Back in those days, if a stallion let a mare preen his wings, that meant they were most intimate.”

A glance at Luna’s blush and restless wings told me this must have been true. Luna stammered out, “Well, sister? There was no crime in it. We were both full-grown.”

After several seconds, Celestia said in a small voice, “Sharp Lance told me I had no equal at preening his wings.”

“What!?” everypony chorused at once. Then the laughter started.

After a bit, Applejack said, “Ya mean that stallion was beddin’ ya both and neither of y’all had any idea?”

“Wow. That was one courageous stallion,” said Rainbow Dash. “Risking the wrath of one or both goddess-queens.”

Rarity said, “Indeed, darlings. I must know all the details. Such audacity must be made known to all ponies, and what better way than as the theme for my spring line?”

Both madly blushing Royal Sisters now studied the ceiling and the walls. Neither wanted to look at each other or the amused audience. I, however, looked at the open book. “Celestia, did you dog-ear both of those pages?”

“What?”

“Did you fold the corners of the pages on this book or the other one?”

“No. No, I didn’t. They were already that way.”

The chuckling died out as I moved in front of the bookcase containing the spellbooks. I said, “Raven, when the two of us did the quick flip-through of every diary, how many pages were folded in the corners?”

She answered immediately. “Thirty-seven in the upper corner, nine in the lower.”

I counted the volumes. Thirty-six books and one bag on the lower shelves. Nine tomes in black hide of one sort or another on the top shelf.

I felt Celestia come up to my side. She floated down the two oldest volumes from the second shelf if their upper-and-leftmost placement were anything to go by. Holding one in each hoof, she said, “The pegasus flieth to White Tail Woods.”

The left book glowed white and lifted upwards a few inches. Its segmented silver clasp fell away. Red-stained snakeskin had been used to make the cover which now opened of its own accord.

“Huzzah!” declared Luna.

“Huzzah, indeed,” said Celestia with a look of wonder on her face. She set down the second book and leafed through this one with her right hoof.

I turned to see two very intense mares. Raven scribbled down the passphrase while levitating a new stack of cards from her saddlebags. Pinkie Pie quivered on her hooves, holding her party canon with a manic grin plastered on her face. Manic even for Pinkie.

I nodded with a smirk. “Good idea, Pinkie. It is definitely time for—”

“A PARTY!” she finished for me. Her canon went off and Celestia’s secret chamber was filled with confetti.

I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised. Pinkie’s first reaction upon seeing the room was that she thought she knew every place in Equestria where there could be a party. Now it seemed that void in the cosmos had been filled.

# # # # # # # # #

Author's Note:

(1) Luna: Coventry Carol – 16th Century British Pageant Carol.
(2) Diadem: Lost in the Stars – Kurt Weill.
(3) Trixie: Miss Susie Had a Steamboat – Vaudeville tune with many versions and authors.
(4) Applejack and Pinkie Pie: Apples to the Core – show canon.
(5) Mark (with some paraphrasing): Thank God I'm A Country Boy – John Denver.
(6) Fluttershy: Mighty Lak’ a Rose – Stanton and Nevin.

Art by Zelaná.

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