Chapter 20 - Games
If you can’t be royalty, the next best thing is being royalty’s right hoof stallion. First Class travel all the way to the Crystal Empire in the royal coach of the train that was currently wending its way through the foothills of the Crystal Mountains, the ranges that separated Equestria from the Crystal Empire. Both Trixie and Twilight were on board to attend the upcoming Equestria Games. Fortunately, they each had their own stateroom. While Celestia and Luna may have been happy to share with their sister, that would have been a disaster with their replacements.
Of course, I was hardly the only extra VIP passenger. All the Element Bearers were accompanying Twilight, although it had been difficult to drag Applejack away from the farm for the duration. Spike was here too, and he was teaching Steady Flight and me how to play Ogres & Oubliettes. Even though I had never played the game, I recognized it as being analogous to Dungeons & Dragons, something that I had not gotten around to dabbling with up until now. Discord teleported in to do the session with us, despite my misgivings at the presence of the draconequus. However, I had to admit that his unconventional approaches to problems our party encountered made it twice as fun. Between the game and the gorgeous scenery, I was far from bored despite the lengthy journey.
Because this was an overnight trip, it was good to be able to keep oneself amused. Twilight realized that this was also the perfect time to get Trixie to study her magic and had her hitting the spellbooks hard. Not to be outdone, Trixie had dumped the latest political headache on Twilight for her to sort out. It was remarkably peaceful while both were too preoccupied to snipe at each other. Fortunately, détente prevailed when they stopped for meals. That’s when I had to be at the top of my game and steer the conversation.
“So, Twilight – any progress on opening that box from the Tree of Harmony?” I asked.
The purple alicorn scrunched her face in frustration. “Not a bit. I wish that it came with a set of instructions, but considering its origins, I suspect that discovering the keys is part of a test.”
“If it’s anything to do with Harmony, I guess it might be tied to the Elements that you represent. Maybe do something that exemplifies that Element and you get a key. Isn’t that how you got those artifacts in the first place?”
“A reasonable hypothesis, but one that’s hard to test. Nevertheless, I’ll keep my eyes open for anything that fits the bill and ask the girls to do the same.”
I looked around for Rainbow Dash to inquire about her preparations for her events, but she was absent. Probably coaching her team members again. The prismatic mare took her role seriously, and I would be very surprised if Ponyville did poorly at the Games. Fluttershy was absent too. Being a team member, I suppose she had to train along with the others.
I chuckled at the memory of those two pegasi at the recent Traders’ Exchange at Rainbow Falls. Trixie had been the Princess in charge of settling disputes this year, and suffice to say that things had gotten a bit strange that day when Rainbow Dash was a tad too zealous in her quest to get a prized item. I didn’t think that Twilight had learned what happened there yet and I had an evil whim. “Hey, Twi – has Trixie told you about her day at the Traders’ Exchange yet?”
The alicorn looked up from her work and shook her head. “No, she hasn’t. How did that go, Trixie? Was it the great public relations opportunity for you that I thought it would be?” she asked eagerly.
The blue mare gave Twilight a flat look. “Oh, the crowds gave Trixie the great welcome that she deserved, but then she sat around being bored all day. Whose idiotic idea was it to have no less than an Equestrian Princess arbitrate petty disagreements between ponies? Do you remember how much real work Trixie has to do while you are hanging out with your friends? Not to mention the magic lessons that you consider so essential. But no, it seems that the Great and Underappreciated Trixie’s time was better spent at a trash and treasure market.”
“Oh. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out so well,” Twilight said.
“It wasn’t a total loss. Trixie got to rule on whether Rainbow Dash exchanging Fluttershy for a rare book was a fair trade.”
“She WHAT?!” Twilight screeched.
Trixie continued. “Since both of your friends entered the agreement willingly, Trixie was tempted to say yes, but in the end, Trixie decided that it would set too much of a precedent to start selling ponies into slavery.”
“I should hope so! I’m going to have words with Dash just as soon as she’s done with coaching.”
“Trixie has decided that future events shall have a vice-regal representative attend in our place. We have far more important things to do with our time.”
“But… the tradition…”
“…is one that needs to be retired. Trixie doesn’t know how it started, but she knows how it will end. The Wise and Busy Princess Trixie has spoken!”
Twilight took the defeat pretty well and accepted Trixie’s ruling. Discord gave me a wink and a thumbs-up for getting a rise out of Twilight. Hey, she’s my friend – I can prank her if I want to! If Rainbow and that trader hadn’t accidentally made a deal that was misinterpreted and came out wrong, it would have been possibly the most boring day of my life in Equestria, and perhaps ever. Trixie played it up like crazy though, and we had a laugh about it later. There was never any chance of the shy pegasus being forced into servitude, but we weren’t going to let Dash forget about it for a long time. Yeah, I’m merciless when it comes to teasing all of my friends.
I went to bed a bit later than I had intended due to the O&O game going longer than I thought it would. All the mares had already hit the sack by then, although one of them had hung around longer than the others. I think she may have had some desire for company, and I knew who her pony of choice was. However, I wasn’t in a hurry to encourage her, and with Discord there still, well… enough said.
I woke up to snow-covered scenery which, while not my first experience with the cold white flakes, had a certain fairytale appearance that I had not seen before. I suppose that was appropriate for a land of magical ponies, but it was new to me and I watched it as it passed by as I sat eating my breakfast. Royal chefs had accompanied our group, of course, and the culinary standards didn’t slip for the mere fact that we were still on a train. I was thoroughly spoiled, I know, but at least I burned through all those calories every day. No pudge on this pone!
It came as quite a surprise when snow abruptly transitioned into fertile green fields. Sure, I might have known about how the Crystal Heart keeps the ice and snow out of the Crystal Empire, but it was still a startling phenomenon to see with my own eyes. After a while, farms transitioned into houses and shops, and that’s where the train journey terminated. The rest of the way to the palace was an easy walk, but the G&PT insisted on a carriage ride. Protocol agreed with her, even though none of the rest of us minded the stroll, including Twilight. Besides, you got to see more when you weren’t travelling in a fast-moving carriage.
One thing that you couldn’t miss though was a giant statue of Spike holding up a crystalline heart. I would have asked him what that was all about, but he had been whisked off his feet by a pair of Crystal Guards who then galloped off towards the castle with him. I shrugged and figured that we’d find out what that was all about soon enough. Cadance and Shining Armor were waiting for us at the base of the castle where the actual Crystal Heart was spinning rather hypnotically. Twilight and Cadance exchanged an adorably cute greeting before we were all invited inside for a royal luncheon. There we found Spike snacking on a bowl full of gems that were being fed to him by an eager mare. Curiouser and curiouser. Not so unexpected was Trixie lounging in a chair, sipping wine and snacking on a selection of pastries. I hope she hadn’t eaten the apple turnovers that I liked and Cadance had promised me when I visited.
Over luncheon, I learned a lot more about the Crystal Empire and why Spike was regarded as a hero. I congratulated him even as I made a mental note to keep an eye on the young dragon. Fame like that could go to the head of a kid like him. Of course, Cadance had to go and stoke the fire.
“We were hoping that you could do us the honor of lighting the torch at the opening ceremony tomorrow. You’d be the very first dragon in the history of the Equestria Games to do so.”
Wow! Spike’s eyes lit up when Cadance said that. “Of course, I’ll do it! And I can even do it with my fire breath.”
He proceeded to demonstrate. Fortunately, we had a pitcher of ice water handy to put out the decorative centerpiece.
I was surprised to receive a summons from Princess Cadance the next morning. She asked me to join her for morning tea a half hour before she was to host the Royal Breakfast Buffet (or whatever it was called) for all the out-of-town dignitaries and athletes staying in the Crystal Castle. I hurried to comply, curious if she would be trying to set me up with another of the ponies attending or competing at the Games. As I followed the palace guard who led the way, I mentally compiled a list of the most and least likely being Cadance might invite to share tea with us. By the time the guard knocked politely on a mahogany-stained door, I had put Fluttershy on the top of my list of possibles and Discord at the bottom. As I heard the Alicorn of Love call out ‘Enter’, the thought occurred to me that if the other occupant of the room actually was the Lord of Chaos, that would be conclusive proof that the Pain-In-The-Arse could read minds.
The guard stood in the doorway a moment. “Presenting Grand Vizier Mark Wells, Your Highness.” He then stepped back gracefully while bowing.
I heard her melodious voice carry into the hallway. “Thank you, Amethyst Chip. That will be all.”
As I entered the room, I saw the Princess in her standard regalia sitting behind a small wrought-iron table. A blue and white porcelain tea set, two empty bread plates, and a small covered wicker basket sat on the table. Surrounding us were a variety of potted plants, several reaching nearly as high as the ceiling, perhaps ten feet overhead. Three walls showed the blending of blue and purple crystals that made up much of the castle. The fourth was made of clear, faceted columns of crystal and allowed morning sunlight to shine on the greenery.
Cadance smiled warmly as the Guardspony closed the door behind me. I used that time to verify that there was only one more chair in the room, and there were only two teacups in the set.
“Thank you for agreeing to join me this morning, Mark.”
Since we were apparently on a first name basis, I decided to do the same. “Thank you for inviting me, Cadance. It’s not often I get the chance to have tea in a beautiful Sun Room like this one.”
She looked around, her smile growing. “Yes. I find this room very relaxing and a wonderful spot to enjoy a few peaceful moments before my duties start in earnest.” She waved to the chair opposite her and picked up the teapot with a hoof.
As I sat down, I saw her practiced and steady hoof pour out tea for us, first my cup, then hers. She then gently set down the teapot and unfolded the napkin from the top of the basket, revealing two scones and small ramekins containing soft butter and some jams. She pointed one out in particular that was an odd combination of red, blue, and purple. “This is crystal berry jam and was made by the castle chefs just this morning. It is one of the few items that have been popular exports to Equestria, although our output is still very small. Our hope is that within four years, my crystal ponies will boost capacity to where we can export to other countries as well.” Her pride was evident in her voice.
My coordination with cutlery, at least, had come a long way since my first meal with the Great and Snarky Trixie. I soon found myself humming appreciatively over a piece of scone slathered with butter and the aforementioned jam. After swallowing, I said, “I can see why this is so popular. It reminds me a bit of cloudberries from back home.” I took a sip of the tea and smacked my lips. “Crystal berry as well?”
She smiled with a trace of embarrassment. “I think you’ll find many of the local foods and drinks here use them. They also make a great sugar-base for meads and liquors.”
As the co-ruler of the Crystal Empire prepared her own scone in a manner similar to mine, although with much more butter, it occurred to me that Cadance was being very relaxed and unguarded. I knew she had the skills of a politician hardened by decades of experience and could hide her emotions if she chose, but she was inviting me to let my guard down as well.
After finishing our scones, we both relaxed and stared out at the city before us. The random faces of the crystal columns and slight milkiness to their color distorted the light enough to prevent a clear view of the city, and I suppose, preserved the privacy of those within the sun room. Behind and above me, a songbird decided I was not a threat and started its gentle tune.
I exhaled, quite relaxed. “I know there isn’t a great deal of time before we have to attend breakfast with everypony else. Was there something you wanted to discuss before then?”
Cadance took a long sip of her tea and continued to look outside. “As much as anything, I wanted to get a better feel for you. You are such an important part of so many ponies’ lives now.” She looked at me and smiled. “We haven’t had the chance to spend any time together.”
I grinned back. “And so what have your perceptions told you, if I may be so bold as to ask?”
“Well, first of all, you were clearly expecting there to be someone here with me this morning.” I thought back to my near instantaneous counting of the number of cups. She smirked. “If I may also be so bold, who do you think was going to be here?” Her eyes twinkled in amusement as my eyes narrowed playfully. She knew all along I wouldn’t fall for that trap. I certainly wasn’t going to make it that easy for her to learn which mare was foremost in my thoughts.
“Nice try. But I’m willing to tell you who was the last one I expected to be here.”
Her ears perked forward.
“Discord dressed as Shining Armor.”
Cadance threw her head back and laughed, which was quite a wonderful thing. My respect for her husband moved up half a peg for getting to witness this on a regular basis.
The pink alicorn settled down and looked at me appraisingly.
“What?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I can only say that there are rules on what I can and cannot do in my role as Alicorn of Love.” She poured a bit more tea into our cups.
After a short pause, I spoke. “I noticed that you asked ‘who’ I expected and not ‘which pony.’ ”
She nodded. “I impose no restrictions on those I advise. Whether it is a single passionate fling, a bonding friendship, or finding your soulmate, love makes no distinction between species and, of course, neither do I.”
She looked at me conspiratorially. “Would you like to know a secret?” I leaned forward and nodded. “I am the anonymous patron for numerous academics, sculptors, playwrights, authors, and painters who push the envelope of what is considered socially acceptable love and friendship in Equestrian society. Everything from historical studies of homosexuality in ancient Saddle Arabia to a future-fiction play about a grounded dragoness and an earth pony soldier – mortal enemies forced to cooperate to survive the harsh climate of the Blasted Lands.”
I nodded. “I think you would have enjoyed the art and literature on Earth. Although we only have one sapient species, the notion of opposites attracting is timeless. And our ‘Science Fiction’ expands tales of love and friendship into other races.”
She smiled. “I hope someday you can share some of these stories; if you would be willing?”
“I’d be glad to. It sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for you in pony society.”
Cadance rolled her eyes. “You have no idea. Do you know what the greatest barriers are for ponies to find their special somepony?”
I pursed my lips. “Well, the gender imbalance would have to be the first.”
She nodded.
“And then, at least for the Elements, the fact that they are so much more powerful than all the stallions around them.”
The Alicorn of Love blinked and her smile fell. “Ah! I see how you would think that, but no, that’s not it exactly.” She leaned back and used her magic to draw a series of pink lines in the air with a hoof, one on top of the other. “Think of pony society as a hierarchy of classes. Royalty on top, then a few levels of nobles, then important individuals in government and society, and so until you reach the common pony at the bottom. Pony tradition holds that everypony stays at or close to their birth position in society, at most moving up or down a level or two in their lifetime. As a result, a bankrupt noble will be regarded more highly than a hardworking and successful entrepreneur.”
Starting from the bottom, she swept a new curving line made of a shifting rainbow of colors until it crossed just below the top line. “Then the Elements of Harmony come along. Their power derives from the Essence of Harmony itself. Their importance to society is second only to the Princesses because of their role as protectors of Equestria. Now I’ll allow that Twilight Sparkle started at a higher position because of being Celestia’s personal student, but somepony like the reclusive Fluttershy had practically no social status beforehand, and now they are all securely above the most important nobles.”
I looked over the construct floating in the air. “I think I see the problem. Any that might have known them before they jumped up the ladder now believe themselves to be unworthy of their romantic attention, and those that are at the top of the steaming pile of nobles are resentful.”
The pink princess laughed freely. “An apt description if I ever heard one. I can see why Trixie finds your unfiltered input so valuable.”
“Still, there are always exceptions, aren’t there? What about ponies like Lord Fancy Pants?”
She beamed. “Very astute of you! Fancy Pants married the top supermodel in Equestria, now titled Lady Fleur De Lis, who hailed from an extremely humble background. Fancy was completely besotted, simply didn’t care about the opinions of others and married her regardless. Their story has spawned, indirectly, a number of romance stories and plays about true love finding a way regardless of the obstacles.”
I smirked. “No doubt sponsored by a mysterious donor.”
She flicked an ear but otherwise didn’t acknowledge my suspicions. “However, it has not been nonstop bliss for the couple. At various functions they attend, the noble mares especially take every opportunity to remind her that she has no place among them. It is so distressing for the poor dear that she’s taken to staying by her husband’s side for the duration of these events. Although I understand this has lessened after his commendable work as Arbitrator. Again, he has risen in stature and most nobles no longer feel they have the status to criticize him, even indirectly.”
I hesitated. “I was unaware of his marriage situation. I was actually referring to the way he treats everypony. I’ve seen how he interacts with the castle staff and guardsponies. He doesn’t talk down to anypony and is unfailingly polite.”
“He is just being true to his nature. He is also leading by example. I can only hope others choose to emulate him, although the urge to follow the herd mentality is exceptionally strong in our society…” She winked. “…especially among the weak-minded.”
I stared at the glowing lines and moved my hoof up and down. “So where exactly does ‘Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard’ appear on this list?”
“Not high enough,” grumbled Cadance. “Only my station as Alicorn of Love and Princess Celestia praising the union and declaring a holiday made the pairing acceptable in the eyes of all ponies.” I raised an eyebrow. She nodded. “Yes, even the common pony would have thought ill of the union without such extreme measures.”
“But don’t ponies worship and follow alicorns implicitly?”
She shook her head. “In my case, not so much worship as idolize and expect to set an example. Consider my role. I am the Alicorn of Love and all aspects of it. I cannot allow myself to become ostracized from society. Even as an alicorn, I am not permitted to outright break the social traditions, only bend them.”
The mare then put on a grin. “On the plus side, Shiny was supremely motivated to reach the top position in his profession. Confidence and ambition are quite the heady mix for a mare to behold in her chosen mate. We made the most of every fleeting moment together, whether sitting politely in a room with other ponies present or with a stolen kiss behind a convenient tapestry.” She shivered at the memory this evoked.
Not wanting to hear the details I said, “I expect the nobles despise me for not being sure of my background.”
Cadance shook her head. “At your introduction, you were an unknown quantity. You proceeded to defeat Lord High Station in single combat, such as it was. Also, you called for any more challengers with no response from those gathered. This established your social position as slightly above those in the Parliament of Nobles, irrespective of your background. Rather brilliant, if I must say.” She peered at me intensely. “Even if you did not understand the social repercussions at the time.”
I nodded, conceding the point of my ignorance. I considered what I had learned for some time as I stared at my cup. “On a separate topic, why don’t ponies form herds? That seems like the obvious solution and is common among equines in my world.”
“And this was common as well among our feral ancestors; however, the path to becoming the alpha male or female of the herd was strewn with enormous amounts of blood and suffering. When the Royal Sisters quelled the last independent city-state of what is now Equestria, many of the ‘old ways’ were outlawed, and enforced with a ruthlessness you wouldn’t recognize… oh, wait. You never met them. Anyway, Celestia and Luna worked without pause for a generation to improve the lot for every pony – overseeing the teaching of weather teams, ensuring crops were bountiful across the entire land, setting up mandatory schooling for all foals, teaching civics and law to local government ponies everywhere, and dismissing those who didn’t keep the welfare of all ponies at heart. They were the feudal ladies with absolute authority over an entire country. By the time newborn foals reached adulthood, they had grown accustomed to safety and prosperity. The poverty and scarcity of resources that drove the earlier violence was a distant memory.”
She smirked. “But getting back to your question, that’s also when the lack of stallions was solved through civility and culture. Do you know how an unmarried mare arranges to get pregnant?” I shook my head. “Outside of her heat, she asks a stallion she likes of a similar social status, married or not.”
My eyes went wide.
Before I could speak, she chuckled. “I take it this practice is unlike what you have in your homeworld?”
I shook my head. “Males and females are nearly equally split among humans. A woman choosing a man just for procreation doesn’t happen. Well … that’s probably going too far. It certainly happens, or a couple just doesn’t end up staying together before or shortly after the baby is born. However, the mother is looked down upon for having a child out of wedlock.”
“Ah, I see. No, that attitude does not exist here. It is perfectly natural for a single mare to have one or many foals. Her marefriends support them and society makes extra allowances for their maternal duties. The stallion is not socially required to have any interaction with the dam or foal afterwards.”
I glared at the pink alicorn. She merely grinned back. I’m sure she knew what I was going to say next. “So that makes me the obvious choice for any of the Elements of Harmony if or when they want a foal.”
“Please, Mark – not just then. You’re also their best chance to enjoy friendly stallion companionship and possibly courting, even if nothing permanent comes out of it.” She leaned forward. “You have the opportunity to court them as many times as you want.” She waggled her eyebrows, which looked very odd on the royal princess.
I rolled my eyes, trying to shrug off the thoughts that brought up, but I’m sure my cheeks were blushing. After she refilled my cup, I sat and thought for a bit. Cadance waited patiently.
I sighed. “The thing is… I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I enjoy my equine body… well, both of them.” I looked up to see her nod. She and doubtless Shining Armor knew already about my moonlighting as somepony with a shred of coordination. “But I don’t think I’m ready for romance yet. And certainly not ready to help raise a foal – even if society would not require me to do so, I would feel obligated to, regardless of the circumstances. Plus, I see myself as a human at heart, and a big part of me still wants to go home.”
Cadance seemed to weigh my words for some time. I was curious what insights she was getting or imagining about me. “Well, you will know if it is time to make a change. Just remember that you are Mark Wells no matter the shape and instincts of the form you inhabit. The most important lesson I teach is how someone can learn to love themselves. You have the unique problem of trying to do so with all three of your aspects. I’m concerned you may be focusing your self-respect on your memory of your human body. As a result, you don’t take the care needed to look and feel your best in either of your equine forms.” She shifted in her seat. “Tell me, Mark. How have you taken the initiative to be at your best physically?”
I thought about my recent trip to the Ponyville Spa. “Actually, only recently have I realized how much my stallion form means to me. It took me losing most of my mane and tail to do it, but take pride in my appearance now.”
She looked at my tail than back to my eyes with a quirked eyebrow.
“I got better.”
She laughed at that.
“But, if you don’t mind telling me…” She leaned forward again. “…who is the one you hold the dearest? With whom do you look forward to spending time with the most?”
I looked back down at my tea. “Oh, I don’t know.”
“Try. Let me in on your thoughts.”
Getting pushy, are we? Fine. “Well… it’s a bit embarrassing.”
She smiled. “Remember that I am the pony embodiment of all types of love. From material things to favorite foods to familial love to the most romantic. I am simply unable to judge ponies in matters of their hearts, only guide them when they allow.”
I took my time to set it up convincingly. “It’s… it’s… Steady.”
The alicorn blinked a couple of times then recovered. “That is only to be expected, with your new heritage.” Wait, what? That got me to prick my ears up. “When pegasi fly together, the emotional bonding can be quite intense. It is a natural reaction for that tribe. Romance novels about pegasi invariably include some form of coupling dance, whether it be in the air, underwater, on the dance floor, or even in battle. The tragedy The Generals of Canterbridge tells the story of two star-crossed lovers who meet thrice, each time as the finest and lead warrior of their aerial troops. In the end, the griffon leader kills the pegasus general, neither having declared their love except in their eyes. She screeches her heartsong then takes her own life over the body of her stallion, unable to continue without the only one she will ever love. Emotionally overwhelmed, the armies stop the battle and they dedicate themselves to building their memorial.” She sniffed and wiped away tears. “It’s such a beautiful and poetic story.”
I was too distracted to be empathic right then. “But it’s only a story, right?”
Cadance shook her head. “The ‘Peace of Canterbridge’ was the result. Pony and griffon playwrights collaborated to make the play. The text consists mostly of entries from their diaries.”
I felt my stomach drop. How did Steady feel about me? I mean really feel about me? “But… he’s my flight instructor.”
She nodded. “Having a specific purpose in mind helps alleviate the effect. But I can’t say how much long-term exposure has affected you given your unique heritage of being transformed into a pegasus.”
I leaned back in my chair. Did I really trust how I felt? And for how long? I blinked a couple of times to clear my head. No, I didn’t feel that way, but I’d have to watch for that. Flights with him when I was in Celestia’s form were out. Not happening. Then I thought back to the aerial ballet I had shared with Rainbow Dash. Did ‘just flying around for fun’ count as a ‘specific purpose’? Maybe. Maybe not. How about from Rainbow’s perspective? I took a deep breath.
“Thanks, Cadance. That… gives me a lot to think about.”
She beamed as she stood up. “Any time, Mark. Let me know if I can do anything to help your stay in Equestria and now here in the Crystal Empire happier.”
I set down my cup. “And thank you for the tea. I expect we need to head off to breakfast now?”
She nodded and we discussed more mundane details of the upcoming games on our walk through the crystal hallways. When we arrived at the dining hall, I saw many of the competitors and the entire Ponyville contingent mingling. It seemed breakfast started when the royal hosts decided it would. Fine by me. I grabbed a fluted crystal glass (what else would it be made out of?) and wandered over to where Trixie was holding forth.
After a while, I looked around to see if Steady had gotten up yet or had taken advantage of the opportunity to sleep in. I almost broke out laughing when I found him and saw his face. The Alicorn of Love had practically pinned him up against a wall and was cheerfully grilling him about something or another… probably how he felt about me. His eyes caught mine and I could see the desperate plea for help even from across the room. I waved pleasantly and went back to paying attention to Trixie.
When we were all seated for breakfast, I saw a clearly frustrated Cadance saying something to her husband from their place at the adjacent table. His smile got wider and wider before he flicked a glance my way. He leaned closer to her and I’m sure he exaggerated his mouth movements so I could read his lips. “As a friend.”
Cadance’s back went ramrod straight and she slowly turned to glare at me. I couldn’t help but let out a snicker as I touched the end of my nose with a hoof three times. Trixie’s voice brought my attention back to the table.
“Trixie understands you have had a busy morning, Patriarch Compels.”
As my eyes moved to the blue mare sitting on my left, they passed over Steady. He looked dumbfounded and was not responding to Princess Twilight’s attempts to get his attention. I smiled at Trixie. “You know what they say. Try to accomplish more in the morning than other ponies do all day.” She tilted her head slightly at the non sequitur but chose to nibble on her fruit salad rather than to say any more.
I spent the remainder of the morning inspecting the Games’ facilities and the brand new arena that had been built especially for large events like this in mind. Considering how short a time it was since the Crystal Empire returned, I was astounded at how quickly it had been built. Naturally, there were a lot of magic techniques that accelerated construction, but it was quite a feat nonetheless. I wondered how much money had been poured into it and the justification for doing so. There was no way that they could be certain of being the venue for the Equestria Games when they started. Then again, the Crystal Empire was banking on a huge tourist boom for prosperity as it had little else to offer besides its crystal riches, and you had to invest up front before you could attract the crowds. If I had to guess, it was a mixture of an astute assessment of its potential and a calculated risk. It certainly seemed to be paying off. Hotel rooms had been booked out almost since the announcement of the location of the Games. Extra trains had been scheduled to bring the spectators to the city and they were already pouring into the arena. Vendors were doing a roaring trade both inside and outside the sports ground. The Crystal Empire was certainly going to be a high-profile destination in the future, regardless of which competitors ultimately won.
My position of Princess Trixie’s right hoof stallion gained me access to all parts of the stadium. Comparing them to those that I had visited on Earth, I had to say that I did not find them lacking. I was accompanied by the new Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard Polished Barding who was inspecting the security arrangements. We both familiarized ourselves with the procedures for the opening ceremony before we returned to the castle.
Twilight was the only one of my mare friends present for lunch as the others were all preparing for the parade of athletes, either as competitors or in supporting roles. The purple alicorn was already dressed for the occasion – as in she had put on her new crown. It’s a wonder Rarity hadn’t managed to persuade her to wear something that the seamstress had whipped up just for the event, but Twilight didn’t even bother with the golden hoof shoes that she normally wore at court. Her explanation was that she preferred to project an image of approachability rather than putting herself too high above other ponies. Not what I would have recommended for most princesses, but it sure fit Twilight Sparkle.
We dawdled over the midday meal until it was time for us to make our way over to the stadium. Once Trixie, Twilight, and Cadance were settled on the thrones in the royal box, I excused myself to go down to check on the Ponyville team and Spike. It took me quite a while to find the young dragon amidst the huge crowd of competitors who were lining up to participate in the parade. Besides ponies of all kinds, there were griffons and even some minotaurs. It was the first time that I’d seen any of the latter in person, and damned if those biped bull people weren’t impressive. Let me tell you though that their females had a couple of assets that would have been the envy of Dolly Parton. Well, they were related to cows after all.
Having dealt with some griffons before at court, I was familiar with their aggressive personalities. I was a little surprised that the majority of their athletes were reasonably pleasant as their species goes. I figured that they focused most of that aggression into their sport and that would make them fierce competitors.
I eventually found Spike talking with Ms. Harshwhinny, apparently going over his role one final time. When she headed off down the tunnel that exited onto the torch platform, I approached him with a grin on my face. As we followed after the mare, I said, “So – are you ready for your big moment, Spike? After today, you won’t be just the hero of the Crystal Empire, but the public face of dragons for half the world.”
“Huh? What do you mean, Mark?”
I gestured down the tunnel through which the dull roar of the crowd could be heard. “Out there, tens of thousands of people of many species have gathered from many cities and nations to watch this event. You’ll be famous.”
Spike’s face fell as we reached the tunnel exit and he spotted the sea of faces. He gulped. “So many…”
Oops. I would never have picked the exuberant young drake for it, but stage fright seemed to be setting in. “Focus, Spike! Eyes on the prize. Don’t let it get to you.”
I don’t think I got through to him though, and before I could try again, Ms. Harshwhinny came over and chivied him out onto the platform. I was not allowed to follow, so Spike was left to stew by himself under the gaze of thousands of pairs of eyes. I did not envy him. I couldn’t do anything more here, so I decided to make my way back to the princesses before the parade began.
I barely made it back in time, but I was there to watch as the Cutie Mark Crusaders led the way for the opening parade of athletes. They did a great job, as I knew they would. No nerves for any of those fillies! It took a long time to introduce all the teams and have them march around the track, and throughout it all, Spike was sweating beside Ms. Harshwhinny. Finally, the mare made a short speech and introduced Spike. At that point, he was supposed to step up to the torch pedestal and climb the ladder to the cauldron. Instead, he did a great impression of a statue.
“What’s wrong?” Twilight murmured.
Pony ears are quite sensitive, so I caught that comment. I sidled over to her throne and whispered, “Spike has a bad case of stage fright. It started the moment that he saw the huge crowd.”
“Oh dear. I hope he pulls out of it.”
Judging by the way the Royal Guards were physically shoving the small dragon towards the torch, I had a feeling that wasn’t in the cards. “Um, you wouldn’t happen to have a spell to overcome this, do you?”
Twilight’s eyes defocused as she searched her memory. “Aha! Mage Clover’s Concentration Cantrip! Triple C will get you an ‘A’,” she recited.
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t let Spike hang, Princess.”
“Oh, right!” Twilight’s horn lit up and a moment later, Spike jerked a little and then firmly stepped forward to the ladder and quickly climbed it. He paused for a dramatic moment before blowing a perfect plume of green dragonfire. The cauldron burst into flame to the cheers of the crowd. Only then did Spike suddenly become aware of where he was once more, but now that his task was done, he was able to relax. He grinned a little and waved to the spectators before climbing back down the ladder.
The entertainment began then, and a few minutes later, Spike joined us in the royal box. He gave me a wave before going over to Twilight. They exchanged whispered words and the alicorn nodded. The dragon gave her a short grateful hug before settling down on the chair that had been reserved for him. I smiled. Crisis averted and all was well. The rest of today was somebody else’s problem.
The goodwill from the opening ceremonies extended well into the evening, with the various teams mingling in mutual camaraderie and excitement for the upcoming competitions. Despite this, those athletes who had events the next day retired at a reasonable hour to ensure they were well rested. I stayed up until midnight before heading to the room in the castle that I had been assigned. As my valet, Steady had to wait until I turned in before he could do so too. I had observed with amusement how he was still a little uncertain around me. He obviously had no idea why Cadance had been grilling him about his personal feelings about me. And it wasn’t like he could just say “Hey, sir, did you give the Princess reason to think we could be a couple?” He knew instinctively I would deny it to my dying day while ensuring every moment up to then was filled with merciless teasing for him even imagining that delusions could have been true. He may have suspected he was the victim of a practical joke, but with the Alicorn of Love pushing it, there was plenty of room for doubt. Made me kind of wish I could change into Marklestia and muddy the waters a bit more. That’d teach him to “Sir” me!
After breakfast the next morning, the Princesses, Spike, the Element Bearers, and I headed off as a group to the stadium. When I asked about Shining Armor, I was informed that he had left hours earlier to stay on top of the arrangements. I wondered how his military training translated into organizing a diverse group of races, but considering how smoothly the opening ceremonies had proceeded, I suspected that he had everything well in hoof.
As we approached the gates to the stadium, I noticed that the unicorns were being directed to pass through a set of archways while all others went through normal turnstiles. I wondered why up until we reached the Security pony ticket inspectors. As part of the Royal Entourage, none of us required tickets, but I was shocked when the stallion politely asked Trixie to pass through the archway, saying, “All unicorns, including alicorns, must have their magic disabled to ensure no cheating happens.”
“WHAT?!” I screamed. “Are you bucking insane?! Whose crazy idea is this?”
The ticket-taker just raised an eyebrow at my outburst, although Princess Cadance was staring at me in shock. The stallion recovered quickly and replied, “Sir – it’s extremely important to ensure that there is no magical manipulation during the competition. In order not to show favoritism, all unicorns are treated equally regardless of rank. In any event, this does not affect pegasi such as yourself.”
“Like hell, it doesn’t affect me! As Princess Trixie Lulamoon’s Grand Vizier, I am responsible for her safety. While Captain Polished Barding is in charge of overall security, the Princess is my particular responsibility, and I will not allow her primary means of defending herself, not to mention performing normal everyday telekinetic manipulation, be inhibited. And not just Princess Trixie, but you intend to do it to your ruler too? Have you no idea what that says about the ponies of the Crystal Empire? That they can’t even trust their ultimate authority to not interfere? That they would rather have their Princess be vulnerable to every danger deliberate or otherwise because it would look good?”
The Security pony opened his mouth to say something, but I wasn’t finished yet.
“Do I need to remind you all that Equestria and by extension the Crystal Empire is in a state of war with Queen Chrysalis?” I looked at Princess Cadance and lowered the volume of my voice. “Has a foolproof way to identify changelings been developed? I don't recall anything in the security detail addressing that.”
She hesitated. “All I can say in the open is that Shining Armor has taken measures, but we are not one hundred percent certain they are foolproof.”
I expected as much. “All of the Element Bearers, the royalty of our nations and the lives of our visitors cannot be left vulnerable to attack. Beyond that, an entire stadium full of ponies would be at risk. It simply can't be justified.”
The stallion seemed set to dig his hooves in. “Sir, this was decided long ago and I have no say in the matter. This is a mere inconvenience…”
“Stop right there! Are you telling me that every single unicorn – spectators, vendors, stadium workers, invited guests, and even Security have been disabled?”
“Of course, sir. To be totally fair, no exceptions are made,” he replied.
“Then you’re all crazier than I first thought! Has no pony here heard of Occupational Health and Safety? What happens to the ability to do their jobs properly and safely? What does Security do if they have to break up a fight without getting physically involved? What happens in an emergency like a fire or an accident? Take away a unicorn’s magic and you render them as useful as a foal. They’re physically weaker than all the other tribes and they cannot fly like pegasi or griffons. They’re also less dexterous due to their reliance on magic. So, no – this isn’t a mere inconvenience. It’s a disaster waiting to happen! Back in my home town, this venue would be shut down in a heartbeat for safety violations, and I will not allow Princess Trixie to be put at risk.” I turned to look at Twilight and Cadance. “And if you have any sense, you won’t allow this either. I have no authority over you, but I implore you to reject this in the strongest terms.”
Cadance seemed stunned by my rant, and it took a while for her to recover and respond. “Grand Vizier Mark Wells, I authorized this request from the Equestria Games Committee. I thought it fair and reasonable.”
“With all due respect, Your Highness, the Games Committee is focused solely on its purview, while you and those you have delegated authority to have a much broader responsibility. You must think outside of the Games when considering drastic measures like this. And another thing…” I turned to Twilight. “As the foremost authority on magic in the world, can you tell me if there are suitable alternatives to this stupid idea?”
With an apologetic glance at Cadance, Twilight replied, “Umm… I can think of two or three off the top of my head.”
I turned back to the stallion who looked like he’d rather be anywhere else right at that moment. “So – what are you going to do about it?”
“Ah… sir… I don’t have the authority to do anything about set procedures.”
“Then how about contacting someone who does? Or just ask Princess Cadance. After all, as Her Highness said, she authorized this arrangement, so she can repeal it.”
“It isn’t that simple, Mark Wells,” Cadance said. “I can’t just unilaterally revoke an agreement with the Equestria Games Committee.”
“Then get Ms. Harshwhinny here and hash it out between you two. Meanwhile, Princess Twilight can start putting together the alternative protections, if you don’t mind, Your Highness?” I asked the purple alicorn.
“Of course! I’d be happy to do so. Anything for the welfare and safety of our citizens!”
“Great! Meanwhile, stop all unicorn admissions until this travesty is sorted out. General admission hasn’t started yet, correct?” I asked the ticket-taker.
“No, sir.”
“Good. That just leaves mostly the staff, vendors, and any athletes who have already arrived. They can be recalled to have the binding spell removed at their convenience. Now, let’s get this sorted out! Somepony find Ms. Harshwhinny.”
“I’ll do it,” said another of the Security ponies who had been very carefully staying out of the argument. He galloped away, no doubt glad to be out of the line of fire. Not that he needed to go in person, considering those earpieces that I could see them wearing, but he knew a good excuse when he heard one.
“What should the Great and Impatient Trixie do until then?” the faux alicorn asked with a frown.
I gave her a smile and replied, “I suggest that you proceed to the Royal Box as planned, Your Highness. You’re an honored guest, and this nice stallion isn’t going to stop you, is he?” I gave the pony in question a stern glare.
The stallion caved. “Please go right ahead, Your Highness, and your companions also.”
Trixie gave him a condescending smile and passed through the turnstiles. I sent Steady with Trixie to tend to her while I was preoccupied. Rarity gave me a wink and thanked me before she and the other mares followed. That just left Cadance, Twilight, Spike, and me to wait for Ms. Harshwhinny to make an appearance. I had learned how much of a hard-ass that mare was and I knew she wasn’t going to make this easy. I grinned to myself – I was already looking forward to butting heads with her.
The schedule was delayed that morning, but I got my way. All unicorns who’d had their magic bound had the spell removed before general admissions were allowed to start. Twilight set up several alternatives that, depending on the sport, either required very localized null zones, magic detectors, temporary horn rings, or other cheating prevention techniques that did not interfere with the spectators’ enjoyment of the sport. Finally, we were all able to relax and start enjoying the competitions.
I found the pony version of the decathlon the most interesting. It was divided between events that required strength, speed, and accuracy. For every earth pony or minotaur contestant that excelled at the strength events, there was an equal number of pegasi and griffons that were proficient at the speed events, even with their wings strapped down so they would not have an unfair advantage. Accuracy contests including archery, javelin throws through strong winds, and slinging rocks at moving targets were not dominated by any group. By the time the finals took place, I had noticed that the ponies in the field consisted of the smallest earth ponies and largest pegasi. When I asked Shining Armor about this, he explained that these athletes could earn 750 points out of the thousand possible in all the events. In contrast, a typical member of their tribe could get 900 points in events that matched their specialty but only 400 or so in the others.
While a griffon hen got the gold and a pegasus stallion from Manehatten got silver, an unexpected bronze was awarded to Maud Pie. She joined the Ponyville team as her closest relative lived there and her family rock farm was well outside of any city limits. She had the top scores in the rock breaking, plow pulling, and caber tossing events, but it was her perfect score with the sling in the final event that propelled her from fifth to the bronze spot. When I spoke to her afterwards, she insisted that her sling rock, named Boulder, had coached her to their combined victory, only taking a direct role in the one event. When I sincerely congratulated the small stone as well, there might have been a hint of a smile on her face for a moment – but then again, I might have imagined it. For my part, it was easier to accept that Maud possessed a stone with sentience than two-thirds of what her sister did before breakfast.
Other notable events were the steeplechase run complete with traditional saddle but no rider, fencing with a speed and grace on par with anything I had seen among humans, and the stallion’s heavyweight judo match between an absolutely massive minotaur bull and an earth pony stallion that made Bulk Biceps look diminutive. After their match completed with the nimbler pony winning on points, the stadium had to be evacuated for an hour to repair damage to the foundation caused by their repeated throws that measured somewhere in the middle of the Richter scale.
The final day of competition saw three teams in serious contention for winning the Equestria Games – Cloudsdale, Griffonstone, and Ponyville. Even after several days of intense effort, it was hard to separate those three and the crowd’s excitement at the tight finish was palpable. The aerial relay heats had eliminated all but five teams which included the trio of favorites, and the final race was about to start. My voice was getting a little hoarse (pun intended) from all the cheering and yells of encouragement that I had been giving all day, but I would scream my throat raw if I thought it would help Dash, Fluttershy, and Bulk get first place.
I had seen their previous heats and I was still impressed (and not a little envious) of how that huge stallion’s tiny wings still managed to put in a credible effort, and Fluttershy was all heart. Rainbow Dash anchored the team though and she brought them this far. But now they were up against three of the Wonderbolts, the most skilled flyers in Equestria. The prismatic mare had her work cut out for her, and she knew it. If the race had been a straight run, I had no doubt that she could pull it off, but the competitors had to navigate a series of hurdles and tubes too, bringing in other aerobatic skills. She was all grins despite this because Dash thrived on competition. If anypony could bring their team victory despite the handicap, she could.
The starting pistol fired and the athletes for the first leg of the relay took off. Fleetfoot of the Wonderbolts lived up to her name and took an early lead, closely followed by a male griffon. Bulk Biceps brought up the rear, barely fitting through some of the obstacles. Fleetfoot passed the horseshoe baton onto Soarin who proceeded to increase his team’s lead while Fluttershy patiently waited for Bulk to reach her. When they finally traded off the horseshoe, the yellow pegasus’ training obviously paid off because she flew faster than I had ever seen her manage before. She was still the second-slowest pegasus, but she was definitely holding up her part of the effort. However, by the time she passed the baton to Dash, Spitfire had a commanding lead. The colorful pegasus was undaunted, and she took off at eye-blurring speed, leaving her trademark rainbow trail behind her. The lead Wonderbolt was already on the home stretch while Dash wove her way through the obstacles, but despite Spitfire’s speed, she was up against the fastest pegasus in the world, and she knew it. She poured on the effort even as Rainbow Dash sped out of the last hurdle and shifted into high gear. The crowd held its collective breath but not for long at the velocities those mares were travelling. They seemed to hit the finish simultaneously and the spectators gasped in awe. Only the sharpest eyes could pick them apart. When the official results were posted, I groaned in disappointment – Spitfire had won by a hoof-length.
The ice archery finals were the concluding event of the Games, but Ponyville’s entry Davenport had been knocked out in the semis. Unfortunately, Cloudsdale had two competitors who made it to the finals. I say unfortunately because the medal tally had Ponyville leading the pegasus city’s team by only one – 37 to 36. Cloudsdale could either tie or win depending on the results of this last chance to score a medal.
Ice archery was a rather bizarre sport invented by pegasi to train for one of their weather-control techniques. Enchanted arrows gathered moisture from the air as they flew, removed the heat from it, and deposited the resulting ice on the target. The skill was placing the arrows such that the ice totally covered the target’s surface. A carelessly placed arrow could leave a tiny unfrozen patch that was difficult to hit with another arrow. Naturally, speed was a factor too. You could be the most accurate archer in the world and yet lose to someone who placed twice as many arrows as you. These final six archers were amazingly good at being both.
Half the targets were covered in ice when the crowd gasped. The earth pony competitor had stumbled against the bucket of arrows and fallen even as the stallion was drawing his bow. The arrow was loosed at a wild angle and flew high above the stadium where it pierced one of the clouds that were emplaced there either for shade or viewing platforms. I gaped in horror as huge icicles started growing out of it as the whole cloud froze and started falling into the arena.
Suddenly, a pink dome of magical energy expanded from the ground and stopped the aerial iceberg. Looking towards the source of the shield, I saw Shining Armor’s horn glowing brightly. His eyes were narrowed and he grimaced under the strain. I was boggled by the sheer amount of power that stallion possessed; it had to rival that of the alicorns. Considering that he was Twilight’s brother, I suppose it shouldn’t be too surprising, but still…
Shining Armor started shouting commands, ordering spectators to evacuate as he maneuvered the frozen cloud to the center of the stadium. He directed pegasi to assist those in the stands that were still directly under outcrops of the ice before getting Royal Guard unicorns to start carving off chunks that overhung the seats. By the time the ice cloud had been whittled down enough to lower it safely to the floor of the stadium, several minutes had passed, but Shining bore the load steadfastly. Getting out from under it before releasing his shield was a bit tricky, but he managed it, grunting with the effort before sinking to the ground with a sigh of relief. We were left with a two-storey high block of ice that filled most of the arena, and that obviously meant that the Games were on hold until it was taken care of in some manner.
As relief washed over me, I realized that my caution had been vindicated in the most spectacular way possible. Heaven knows how many beings would have died if Shining had not been able to use his shield, or the other unicorns help to render the ice cloud relatively harmless. The stadium had incurred no damage whatsoever with the possible exception of the arena’s floor. I turned towards Princess Cadance who still looked a little shell-shocked. I caught her eye and inclined my head towards her husband. She caught my meaning immediately and had the grace to look embarrassed. I then started to head off.
Spike had been watching the event beside me and he asked, “Where are you going, Mark?”
“I’m going to find Ms. Harshwhinny and her team,” I told him loudly enough for those around me to hear. “I have one or two dozen I told you so’s to get out of my system,” I said with a grim smile. Looks like Team Wells won the final event of the Games, and I was going to collect my prize!
It was decided that the ice archery contest was null and void, which left the medal rankings at their previous standings. That meant Ponyville was the winner of the Equestria Games, with Cloudsdale taking second place and Griffonstone in third place. The presentation of the trophy and the closing ceremonies couldn’t go ahead though before the iceberg in the arena was dealt with, and there was some debate as to what to do. Melting it by application of heat was obvious but slow because too much heat was a fire risk.
To our surprise and amusement, the Cutie Mark Crusaders approached us and declared that we needed someponies with a youthful perspective to solve the problem. Intrigued, we asked for their opinions.
“Just carve some caves!”
“And slides!”
“And caverns!”
“And tunnels!”
“And tunnel slides!”
I had to admit that sounded like fun, but I doubt that Ms. Harshwhinny would approve. I was about to let them down gently when Spike spoke up.
“How about carving and stacking the frozen cloud into a gigantic statue of me – Spike the Great and Glorious?”
Twilight looked disapprovingly at her younger brother. “One huge statue of you is enough, Spike.”
“Aw!” he said with a pout before giving me a wink. “Gotcha!” he told his sister.
Twilight grimaced. “I fell right into that one, didn’t I?”
“Yeah. There’s only room for one massive ego here,” he replied.
Fortunately, Trixie was too busy ordering a hot drink and snacks to catch that, but judging by the guilty smiles of the rest of us, no one else had missed it.
Eventually, it was decided to level out the top of the iceberg and use that as the surface for the closing ceremonies, letting the ice melt naturally at a safe rate. Ponyville got its trophy, the top three teams’ contingents all got medals, and then the real celebrations began which were kicked off by a massive fireworks display. Impressed by the reaction that Spike had gotten from the lighting of the torch, Ms. Harshwhinny adjusted her plans and asked Spike to send up the opening volley. He agreed to do so, eager to put behind him the fears that had nearly paralyzed him at the opening ceremony. Twilight watched her younger brother like a hawk, but he stayed focused on his task and did his part with flair. The ceremony went off without a hitch and everyone gathered there, competitors and spectators alike, celebrated a spectacularly successful Equestria Games.
The week spent in the Crystal Empire at the Games had been an enjoyable diversion, but I was looking forward to going home and back to some quiet routine. Home? How about that? I actually thought of Canterlot as my home now. I must really be going native.
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Going to go out on a limb and guess Mark’s rant might be a sore point in regards to the internal logic of the show.
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Honestly, it was written this way because Mark Wells has a very different point of view. Yeah, I thought binding unicorn magic was an idiotic idea, but nowhere near as vehemently as Mark does. And as for Spike, why can't he catch a break for a change?
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Looked good to me. Neat, comprehensive, and unobtrusive. I suspect human pragmatism will be the motive force behind most of the upcoming changes.
should be "their"
their
Edit: Oops, beaten. I really should refresh before posting.
reminds me of a story called "a change in fashion", about a changeling named "Glamour"...
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Fixed now.
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He does catch a break in the episode but you kind of took that away from him.
You pulled the bi card on Mark, after so much buildup with the mane 6 and it was absolutely glorious!
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A Change In Fashion is one of my favorite stories on the site. I liked it so much that I proofread now for KevinItk and commissioned the fashion show artwork in Chapter 18.
Way to go, Goldfur! Two hooves up! (Four hooves up does have a bad connotation, which is not deserved here).
You impressed me, for sure! (not that that's difficult to do...)
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Sorry but the binding was stupid. I see one logic of it but cons out weight the pros for again on Canon if Spike hadn't acted fast many ponies would have died that day and yes with all the princesses there and several other leaders it is the perfect target for Chryssy or any other bad guy to take out the bulk of the world's leaders. There be a lot of chaos from just that alone. Not to mention the survivors and families of the victims would demand to know why it happened and the in this case comitte allowed it. It could destroy the Equestria games forever.
Finally this was a poor episode. A huge build for what became a Spike episode of self esteem which was already covered with power ponies and the no magic was so that only Spike could save the day.
This is a great opportunity for mark and steady to play some gay chicken.
Nice to see a more logical take on the Equestria Games. Ponies in the show rely way too much on blind luck to save them.
a grate chapter love it.
Author's Note:
your point 1 and point 2
thank you.
some how i have a feeling Ms. Harshwhinny needs to get laid.
Well that's new mark is bi
To be totally honest I really hope Mark goes native.
Goddammit Starch Dumbbells, Maud too? Stop getting all the mares!
Interesting explanation for dating dynamics, though. Even more reason for him not to keep only Trixie in his mind.
Bonus points if Rainbow falls for his Marklestia persona
Very. VERY hard-pressed to not burst out laughing in an inappropriate setting at that part. Thanks for that!
Interesting chapter, the tidbit about Equestrian history and how they managed to depart from the herd system, I can guess it was very hostile using it in a time where hostilities were high and with little to go around. I can understand for one night stands where you don't have to even think about your partner being pregnant, but when it is specifically stated they are doing it just breed with you I would guess that the dynamic of the situation changes everything about it where Mark has to think about if he would be willing to return home knowing that he intentionally left his child behind with no excuses to be unaware of it.
It was nice to have an explanation on how high society and royal court system work for ponies and I hope we will get to see more intrigue from the rest of the nobility that Mark and the others will have to deal with to get what they want. I loved to learn that Mark's 'dual' had had a major effect and had help siment his position as Royal vizier and that he can't just be walked/trot all over like that. I was also interesting to see that Mark was evaluating how the Equestria Games would help to put the Crystal Empire back on the map again figuratively and literal and in the end help with it's growth, I am guessing that those games aren't as financially crippling for a country as the Olympics are for us. I would have though we would have seen more talks with other representatives of other nation ruler that we see in the episodes?
I know Cadence is just obsessed I am more interested in a M/F shipping but I wouldn't mind a bi-sexual relationship with Steady, but I will just settle with awkward teasing for the pore valet.
I agree that the magic binding would would be needless and they could have just made a magic nullification zone, though I would wonder how it would affect Earth Ponies and Pegasis they use magic in someways as well?
I feel Mark's reaction, while being justified, and presented the argument adequately, I just feel that his grasping of the implications it had felt like it cam somehow out of nowhere for someone who considered magic as parlor trixs, I am guessing that the slide show gave him more insight about magic that he could even remember.
Still it was an interesting chapter and it was enjoyable, keep it up.
You just know within the week the CMC are going to try and freeze a big cloud outside Ponyville so they can be Cutie Mark Crusaders Winter Playground Designer, YAAAAAY!
Oh man, that episode was...Agh. This is SO much better.
Marks idea makes so much more sense, it is a wonder that anypony else didn't think or push it very hard b4 now....
Hehe, cheers!
Sooooooo much yes to this chapter! I always thought that removing their magic was stupid
Awe struck... That what i am! You are a Genius in writing!!!
Goldfur. I've been a longtime follower of your stuff. You're not a master of craft, but you compensate for shaky characterization and plotting with novel ideas and wonderfully realized worlds. I've enjoyed the body of your work, beginning with chakats and following through the whole house path saga.
Notice I am not including our dearest Mark Wells in this. This is deliberate.
As of writing this, I have reached chapter 20, and this has been your single worst story to date. Remember I said you made up for shaky characterization and plotting with novelty and vision? Well this story has neither of the latter two, and thus rests on the weakest aspects of your writing. And it does not rest easy, friend, it does not rest easy at all.
To sum up the worst and primary fault of the story in a sentence: Mark Wells is an atrocious character.
1) He has no motivation or agency. How's he going to get home? Someone else will figure it out. How will he feed and house himself? Trixie gives him a job with room and board. Will he ever find true love? Who can say, seeing as he is literally fighting the act of engaging with the mares around him. He's never shown to truly want anything that he can take any agency in or strive for on an emotional level.
2) He has no flaws or challenges. Building off of 1, since he has no motivations, he has nothing to fail at. We don't see him spending long nights carefully sifting through 500 pieces of mirror trying to match corresponding shards. We don't see him struggling, cutting himself on shards, fighting the urge to scream in frustration that his clutzyness (a flaw that would have actual impact in this scenario) keeps stealing his life from him. It's moments like these that make us love a character, and Mark gets none. I mean, good lord, even when his supposed flaws should trouble him, IE the flight to ponyville, things just work out.
3) He doesn't deserve the successes he gets. Have you ever watched "the time I got reincarnated as a slime?" Basically the same genre as Off the Mark here. Massively competent character storms onto the scene and turns a fantasy world on its head. Except, in the case of Slime's main character, he was a general contractor in the mundane world, so when he winds up building a town in fantasyland, GUESS WHAT, HIS EXPERIENCE IS RELEVANT. Mark wells is A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER PROMOTED TO VIZIER. IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT THE NOBLE STATIONS OF EQUESTRIA CAN BE SUCCESSFULLY CREWED BY A FOREIGNER WITH ZERO EXPERIENCE. You could have given him anything, you could have had him RP a vizier in his doofy tabletop RP group. Make him a LARPer, or even a history buff! Something to remotely justify his ability to avoid failing spectacularly!
4) He's too good a guy. All of this could be forgiven if he were at least compelled to do something interesting by way of vice. Right now, he's shying away from mares out of a sense of responsibility and fair play. Do you know how much more interesting the story would be if he took advantage of the carte blanche the setting has basically given him? Heck, you love alternative family structures! It's one of the most interesting things you do! Dive into that pool in chapter 1, don't make us wait until 20 for him to even begin considering it!
5) His existence doesn't matter. Amusingly, for the disappearance of Celestia and Luna, and the appearance of Mark, this story has so far doggedly refused to abandon the stations of the canon. You could have built a fascinating world off of Trixie ruling Equestria, and played around with events wildly. Instead, we get rehashes of episodes that play out to the same fundamental result. You could actually make a pretty interesting "it's a wonderful life" story about how, when Mark is shown an Equestria without him, all the same things happen the same way. How does one deal with the existential pressure of the fact that your life literally doesn't matter? Now there's a story!
Anyway, TLDR; Human-In-Equestria (HIE) removes most of the good points of your writing, and Mark Wells embodies all the bad ones.
My suggestion:
If you want to do an AU, study The Freeport Venture by Chengar Quordath.
If you want to do HIE, study The Sun and the Rose by Soulpillar.
If you want to do both, study both, but please study something, because so far this story is a cathedral of popsicle sticks built by an armless child who is also blind.
If you need me, I'll be reading the rest of this to see if it miraculously gets better with chapter 21. Hope springs eternal, as they say.
Okay, if this gay stuff will see some light and resolution in the future, then I'll officially call you my favorite romantic author : ) Was browsing this site and wishing for some "epic 1kk-word-count HiE story with some love to stallions" and hey! looks I found some!
Still, even if it's not the case - great story so far, I giggled as mad at some points )
Still one of the best chapters of your story. Loved to re-read it
so, essentially Shining Armor. seriously, they are practically synonyms.
I reread, and...
HEATS? Don't you mean FEATS?
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An excerpt from the dictionary definitions for HEAT:
9. One of a series of efforts or attempts.
10. a. Sports & Games One round of several in a competition, such as a race.
10. b. A preliminary contest held to determine finalists.
But… Maud doesn't like winning. Remember why Dash couldn't get her at first? Maybe that's why she took 3rd, I guess.
oh, this reminds me of Estee's stories: in those stories, LONG ago, someone invented what's commonly known as "the most special spell", which makes it possible for 2 mares to have a foal...but ONLY FEMALE FOALS.
that CAUSED the gender imbalance in Estee's stories!
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Maybe unicorns with a proficiency in defensive magic are priority candidates for the position of Royal Guard Captain, for the good of Equestria.
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Which was Estee joking about single gender ponies in early generations, I suppose.
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Well, makes sense - the sex is determined by a pair of two chromosomes, and only by virtue of them both not being 'X'. Both females have 'XX' in that position, so there's no possible way to have the offspring of such a pairing be anything but female*.
At least, that's the conventional logic from here.
* unless ponies are more resilient to the whole XXY-and-adjacent stuff that tends to fuck humans up
That makes way more sense than it ought to.
Oooooh now I’m hungry.
Mark shines bright all chapter long
had really hoped to see him shout at her..... becuase yes it was so stupid