Chapter 26 - Surprises
“Who’s yer foul-mouthed friend, Sunset?” growled the orange cowgirl. She glared at me under her Stetson.
I face-palmed. Instant bad first impression with Applejack. Some things never change.
“And why is that boy wearing that weird dress?” Rainbow Dash asked, her expression torn between puzzlement and amusement.
Rarity gave the blue-skinned girl a disappointed look. “I disagree in the strongest terms, darling. The fashion sense that went into that dress is on par with my own.” She looked at the dress critically then came up and started pulling at it to look at the seam work. I was used to Equestria’s Rarity doing this but a bit taken aback by this world’s version automatically treating me like a fashion model. “In fact… if I didn’t know better, I would say I designed and made this.”
I was about to protest when she pulled the bottom of the skirt up to chest level, exposing a large swath of my leg… and maybe more. I yelped and fought to keep my private parts private. Rarity pointed at a seam. “Do you see this covering chain stitch? I don’t know any other designer who uses it on fabric to fabric seams on the lower half of their skirts.” Sunset wasn’t much help as she was trying to keep from falling over with laughter.
I attempted to turn into Marklestia… well, either world’s Celestia, I suppose. Nothing. It was worth a shot.
Pinkie Pie was tilting her head and was probably looking at more than just the stitching. Fluttershy was blushing madly with only one eye peeking out from behind her hair. Even Applejack’s face was a bit redder. “Rares, maybe ya don’t wanna be showing off that boy’s derriere in public.”
The fashionista looked back and just then seemed to be aware that I existed. She dropped the hem and retreated a bit at seeing my frown.
“A bit forward no matter the dimension, aren’t you?” I groused.
“Yes she is!” declared Rainbow Dash with a huge grin.
Rarity blinked rapidly as she backed up a few steps. “Oh! I’m terribly sorry, sir! I saw fashion and just…”
I waved a hand dismissively and then stopped, looking at it with a smile and wiggling my fingers experimentally. Just like riding a bicycle, it seemed you never forgot how. I looked at Rarity again. “This dress was indeed made by your counterpart in Equestria.” I looked up to the oddly familiar sight of the five friends. “I bet the special talents for all of you are the same there.”
While the other girls gasped at the news, Pinkie Pie’s left leg trembled and she pointed at me. “You came from another dimension, too! One where you had hands and walked upright!” Oh yeah, I forgot. Pinkie was Sunset’s physical therapist in this world. Trust her to notice my coordination right away.
I smiled. “That’s right. My name is Mark Wells. I’m sorry for cursing earlier, but I had my hopes up that this was my home dimension.”
Rarity said, “And the dress?”
I grimaced. “The only thing big enough to cover my larger form here. My Rarity was kind enough to loan it to me.”
Rainbow snorted. “More like she wanted to be the first fashionista able to claim she had an inter-dimensional fashion show.” For some reason that made the Rarity in front of me blush profusely.
I smirked. “Now you wish that you had thought of that, don’t you?”
Rarity stammered, trying to formulate a reply. The other girls got a light-hearted laugh in at her expense. Applejack came up and hugged Rarity from the side. “We’re just teasin’ ya, sugarcube. We don’t mean nothing by it.” Yep. Definitely like the same group of friends in Equestria.
I took a closer look at my arm. The same exact light green color of my equine form. Now I wanted to try coming across in my Marklestia form to see how that would turn out. I chuckled to myself. Apparently being around Twilight increased my tolerance to experiments. “At the risk of sounding vain, may I borrow a mirror?”
The fashionista had one out of her purse so fast that it made me wonder if it was in her hand already. Even Trixie would have been impressed at the apparent sleight-of-hand.
I took the offered clamshell case, popped it open and studied my face… or should I say my face when I was in high school. “Huh,” I said aloud. I then snapped the compact closed and gave it back. “Thanks, Rarity. Your fashions took a good ten years off of my body.”
Fluttershy said, “Umm… what do you mean? If you don’t mind telling us, that is.”
“In my home dimension, I’m twenty-six years old. But passing through the mirror to this land reset me to about sixteen, I think.” I nodded towards Sunset. “The same happened to her.”
All eyes swiveled to their returned friend, who shrunk a bit. If these humans had swiveling ears, I’m sure all would have been pointed directly at her.
“Is that true?” asked Rainbow Dash. “How old are you, really?”
Sunset fidgeted with her shirt. “Well, it’s not polite for a ma… lady to say her age in front of a man.”
“Pfffffft!” Pinkie Pie waved both hands dismissively. “That only counts when you’ve got the hots for him!”
If anything, the stares got more intense and every other girl there leaned forward a bit with the same amused smile on their faces.
Sunset backed up a step. “No, no! It’s nothing like that! I just…”
Since she was laughing at my expense earlier and she ran out of words, I’d supply them for her. “Sunset Shimmer, dear. Why won’t you tell them how much you love me? How I sacrificed not one but two lives to be with you here?”
Her open-mouthed shock was priceless and I couldn’t keep a straight face, doubling over with laughter. The rest of the girls caught on and joined in.
When I got my breath back, I saw Sunset standing with her legs apart, her arms crossed, and a scowl on her face. “Alright, mister. That’s two that I owe you now.”
“Two?” chorused her friends.
Rarity said, “Now you have to tell us all about the first one.” Sunset’s eyes went wide and she face-palmed to more chuckles.
Rainbow waved an arm at me. “Actually, this dude is perfect for you, Sunset. Finally a guy with some backbone who isn’t intimidated by how mean you are!” That got a groan from the yellow-skinned girl.
Fluttershy came up to hug her friend. “We’re just glad you’re back, Sunset.” After a bit, Sunset returned it. This was quickly followed by the rest of her friends joining in.
When the hugs were done with, trust Rainbow Dash to ruin the mood. “You’re not getting out of answering the question, Sunset! How old are you?”
The flame-haired girl glared at me for some reason then looked at Rainbow. “I left Equestria when I was 28 years old.”
All the girls gasped, but I saw Applejack wink at me. They were just being theatrical. I smirked. “And if you went back to Equestria right now, how old would you be?”
Now she was really frowning. “That doesn’t count! Time passes… like… ten days in Equestria for every day here!”
“She’s actually forty-three,” I supplied helpfully. This time the gasps were punctuated with laughter. Sunset shook a fist at me along with her glare.
Before she could move towards me, Applejack held her by the shoulder. “Sunset. If time moves that much faster there, the longer ya stay here, the more ya will lose touch with folks ya know there.”
Everyone fell silent. Sunset deflated. “Yes… I know. But… I’m going to finish out the school year here with my friends before I decide what to do.” That got her another round of hugs.
I fidgeted a bit. “Ummm… I’m sorry to interrupt…” The girls all looked my way. “…but now that I know this isn’t my dimension, I need to get back. I’d like to ask if I can return at some point though, please.”
The friends all shared a look. Rainbow grinned. “As long as you promise to keep giving Sunset grief every time you show up, then sure!”
I smiled. “If I could ask a favor from you, Rarity. Would you mind taking my measurements so I can tell your counterpart in Equestria how to make clothes for me?”
Rarity strode up, brandishing a cloth tape measure. “Nothing easier, darling.” In surprisingly little time, she had taken about a dozen measurements on me, moving my arms as needed.
“Inseam!” she demanded. It took a stern look and a couple of seconds before I figured out what she meant. After I held the end of the measuring tape where Rarity indicated, she took the last measurement. The fashionista stood up with a beaming smile. “And done! I hope you don’t disapprove, Mark, but I think I might be able to make something for you with your coloration in mind.”
I opened my mouth to protest but then turned to her friends. “There’s no point in my arguing is there?” They laughed and shook their heads. I looked back at this world’s personification of generosity. “That would be wonderful, Rarity, but please keep in mind that my closet is already full of dresses.”
She chuckled. “Yes, you are a bit more mature than the average boy that we meet at school, aren’t you?” Rarity cocked an eyebrow and stared at Sunset who shook her head.
“Not happening, Rarity! Don’t even try to set us up.”
“I’m finally realizing what you have been looking for all along, darling.”
Rainbow was having a field day. “Yeah! A guy with a walker and dentures!” More laughs from all around.
Pinkie was bouncing up and down. “Can all of your friends come visit? Can we have the first ever Pinkie-to-Pinkie Party Extravaganza?”
“Maybe,” I said. “I’ll run it past the gir— mares but I think they’d love to.” I stopped. “But they would all need one outfit.”
Rarity opened her mouth but Applejack beat her to it. “Before we put Rares any more out of her sleep schedule, how’s about each of us toss in an outfit and send it to our counterparts?”
That did sound good. “Thank you, ladies.” I emphasized the last word with a bow.
This was met by smirks and a round of “oooOOOOOOooo’s” from the girls. I rolled my eyes. “But if you would also put in an outfit for Twilight Sparkle, that would be great.”
Pinkie Pie tapped her chin. “Why does that name sound familiar… other than the fact that her birthday is in three days, of course.”
Fluttershy said, “It is?”
Pinkie Pie smiled. “Yep! I hacked into the databases for all the schools in the area and downloaded the pertinent student data. I didn’t keep the school name field, though. Didn’t see the point.” This was met by a chorus of stares. The pink girl raised her arms up. “What? It was for a good cause!”
Rarity asked me, “What does she look like?”
“Well, in your world, she’d be your age, and have lavender skin, I suppose.”
Sunset said, “Dark blue hair with a purple and mulberry streak.”
Rarity looked at me sideways. “Glasses?”
I shrugged. “Possibly. She’s super smart. May not have many friends though.”
Fluttershy said, “Umm… do you all remember that girl from Crystal Prep Academy? The one that beat our entire school at the Quiz Bowl while her teammates slept?”
Applejack groused, “And the 4-H Photography, Horticulture, and Mechanics blue ribbons.”
Rarity said, “And the Science Olympiad.”
“You might want to get to know her. The six of you are the best of friends in Equestria.”
Pinkie waved her hand like she wanted to be picked in class. “I know! Let’s show up at her house on her birthday!”
Fluttershy’s whole body shook. “You mean… uninvited?”
Pinkie grinned. “I’ll bring a cake!”
“You have her address?” Sunset asked.
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Well, duh! I only said I deleted the school names. How else would I know where to send birthday cards?”
Rarity handed me a sheet of paper torn from a small notepad. “Here are your human measurements for my counterpart. I’ll include the measurements of all of us when I send your care package, darling.”
“Thanks, Rarity.” I turned towards the statue with the intention of returning to Equestria when I suddenly remembered something. “Oops! Almost forgot.” I pulled a camera from within the folds of my dress. “I’m supposed to take a few pictures while I’m here.”
Sunset Shimmer winced. “Sorry, Mark – I should have reminded you.”
“No problem, Sunset. I can’t get really good shots of the neighborhood at night, but I should get a few of you and the girls at least.”
The six of them posed as a group and individually. I didn’t try anything fancy as time was against me, although Rarity unsurprisingly was a bit fussier about her portrait. Those completed, I reached behind me and tried tapping the portal. It was solid stone again. “Sunset, if you wouldn’t mind? It seems it’s time to try out that medallion.”
I stepped out of the mirror on the Equestrian side of the portal and promptly fell on my face. What hurt more than my poor abused muzzle was the humiliation of forgetting that I would be returning to quadrupedal form upon my exit. At least, it seemed that only Spike was there to witness it. Belatedly, I clicked the button on my stopwatch before getting to my hooves again.
“Welcome back, Mark,” the dragon said cheerfully as he put down the other stopwatch.
“Where’s everypony?” I asked.
“Twilight’s in the bathroom and asked me to keep watch. The others are still asleep. Because they had no idea when you would return, Applejack apparently convinced the rest of the girls that they needed a full night’s rest.”
“Ever the practical mare,” I agreed. “So, did Twilight wake you up to keep watch in her place?”
“Nah. It’s morning and I had just gotten up to start breakfast for everypony. I found a note telling me that Twilight was here, watching and waiting for you. She was in urgent need to go to the little filly’s room, and that was just a few minutes ago. I’m glad I was here to see you come through that mirror though; that was amazing! Almost as amazing as how silly you look in that dress.”
“Laugh it up, lizard-breath – it’s not half as ridiculous as I looked on the other side of that portal.”
The young dragon smirked. “Is that a camera I see?”
Damn. Pinkie had insisted on taking a picture of me too in human form. I groaned. Me and my big mouth!
Twilight was excited that I had returned and annoyed that she had not been there to see it. She quickly got down to business though and checked the stopwatches for their elapsed times. She calculated that within a small margin of error due to the crudity of the measurement technique, clocks progressed 10.13 times faster here in Equestria than in Sunset’s Earth. She queried me about my experience in travelling through the portal and would have given me a thorough debriefing on my visit if I hadn’t stopped her and insisted on telling everypony at the same time. The purple alicorn settled for taking the camera to get the photographs printed.
I gave a jaw-cracking yawn as tiredness caught up to me. After all, I’d been woken in the middle of the night. Of course, so had Twilight, but the Princess of Books regularly burned the midnight oil. I told Spike that I was going to take a nap and to call me when breakfast was ready. I headed to my room and finally got out of my inappropriate garment. I carefully hung it up in the closet – Rarity would not forgive me for abusing it any further. Then I sprawled on the bed and was asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.
I was amused to find Twilight asleep in her pancakes. I still felt a bit groggy from insufficient sleep, but that sight made it worth it. I’m sure that the one that was speared on her horn didn’t get there by accident though. I suspected Rainbow Dash but everyone had guilty looks, perhaps because no one was doing anything about fixing it. I reminded myself to not nod off at the table with those mares around. The sight of Twilight’s camera perked me up. As I framed the first shot of the sleeping, pancake-decorated alicorn, I knew she was definitely going to regret bringing that to the table.
As I had said to Twilight, I intended to tell everypony about my interdimensional visit all at once, but as the alicorn was asleep, that meant that I got to eat my breakfast and drink my coffee with only a modicum of nagging from the girls. Aside from confirming that they all indeed had counterparts over there, I kept them hanging until Twilight awoke with a snort and a defiant, “I’m pancake! I mean... awake!”
How we all kept a straight face while she carried on oblivious to said breakfast item impaled on her horn, I don’t know, but the longer it was there, the funnier it got. I got an even deeper appreciation of Twilight’s ability to focus to the exclusion of anything extraneous! The purple mare asked me twice if everything was okay as I tried to give my reconnaissance report without bursting into laughter. There is nothing more distracting than a deadly serious Alicorn of Magic gravely listening with a flapjack on her head.
Rarity was thrilled at the news that she was going to get detailed measurements from her doppelganger, secure in the knowledge that they would be exactly what she needed. Plans were made for a visit next weekend, which would be around midday tomorrow in Alt-Earth time. Apparently, it had been Friday night over there, so there ought not to be anyone at the school when we arrived. As long as Sunset sent human Rarity’s package through the portal before then, we should all be attired far more suitably than I had been.
Applejack had to head back to the farm and Fluttershy had her animals to feed. Twilight was already lost to us as her mind worked on the ramifications of what we had learned from Sunset and my interdimensional foray. Pinkie was in a tizzy about planning a ‘Welcome Back to Equestria’ party for Sunset when she returned and the prospect of what she could bring to her counterpart’s welcoming party. That just left Rarity and Rainbow Dash to keep Spike and me company, and I could tell that the fashionista was torn between politely staying and galloping back to her boutique to start working on an outfit for me. So I gave her a way out.
“Rainbow and I want to get in some more flying, Rares. You’re welcome to come watch if you like?”
The white unicorn smiled and shook her head. “Go ahead and have your fun, darling. I hear inspiration calling me anyway. Enjoy yourselves, dears.”
Rainbow’s ears had pricked up when I had mentioned flying, and as soon as Rarity had given us her blessing, the prismatic mare hooked a foreleg around mine and dragged me off at ludicrous speeds through the castle. The Guards at the front door barely glimpsed us as we sped past, and I wasn’t even in my Marklestia form yet!
It had been a great weekend, but all good things come to an end eventually. Crimson and I caught an earlier train than normal, and during the ride back to Canterlot, I was on the receiving end of a severe tongue-lashing from him for not putting enough trust in the guards assigned to me. He had several valid points. For instance, the fact that they had dedicated their lives to protecting me specifically, and that I would not want the general alarm raised if they came in to find their former ruler standing in my suite. When I admitted that Trixie’s personal guard also knew because of where we held Twilight’s magic lessons, he just stared at me until I caved.
I was glad to arrive at the Canterlot Train Station if only to get a distraction from Crimson Boulder’s stern glare. That was just his way of telling me things would not be right between the two of us until I fulfilled my obligation.
Steady and my two day guards greeted us after we disembarked. The guards took our bags and flew them back to the room while we traveled the rest of the way on hoof. Once we entered the castle proper, I noticed Steady and Crimson were being much more jovial than normal. I tuned into their conversation.
Steady said, “But seriously, one of the worst parts of living with a mare? Having to clean out the drains daily. I mean…” He glanced back at me briefly. “…you’d think multi-color pastel hairs would do something magical like turn into cotton candy or something, but I can tell you for sure that’s not the case.”
Crimson laughed uproariously. “Yeah, but have you ever had a situation where you have a mare as a roommate but none of the benefits? That was me in Drill Sergeant School. Having only brothers to grow up with, let me tell you, that was an eye-opener. Mares are gross! Picking the dirt out of their frogs and leaving it wherever, their hair gets everywhere, and the snuffling noises they make at all hours of the day.”
Steady rolled his eyes so hard, I could see it from walking behind the two of them. “Tell me about it! I get to live that every day!”
Now it was Crimson’s turn to give me a quick look. I’m fairly sure my tight frown just made him smile wider. “So tell me, are magical royalty farts any sweeter than regular gas?”
“Nope. If anything, they are worse. Something about a certain mare’s–” He not-so-subtly pointed back to me. “…delicate feminine makeup gives them outgasses that smell like a decaying swamp. And that’s something that carries over for every other part of the day, too!”
I thought the stained glass was in jeopardy of cracking at the braying laugh that Crimson let out.
Steady continued. “And the mess they make! It’s like they manufacture half-filled glasses of water wherever they walk and leave them as a trap! If you take it back to the kitchen, you weren’t supposed to, they were still using it. If you refill it, they wonder why you didn’t clean it up. If you just leave it, you’re lazy.” He shook his head. “I tell you, Crimson, it’s a no-win situation.”
I suppressed a growl and kept repeating to myself, “Patience…patience.” Sometimes I wonder if it had been a mistake to tell my friends to ignore my status and treat me like one of the guys. What does a stallion have to do to get a little respect?! They didn’t see me smirk a bit before I immediately repressed it.
Not being willing to let me delay it any further, Crimson made arrangements for all four ponies to be present in my quarters at the next shift change after we returned.
I looked over the four guardsponies standing at attention in my living room. The thestral stallions Ebon Flight and Nightbloom stood next to the pegasus mare Easy Breeze and unicorn stallion Far Sight.
I smiled. “Guardsponies, at ease.” Their muscles appeared to lose a small amount of their stiffness. I glowered. “Around me, that means sit down and relax.”
With apparent reluctance and a few glances at Crimson Boulder standing next to me, they did so in stages. I punched my assistant in the shoulder. “Cut it out. You’re making them all nervous.” Steady snorted once but then went back to making lemonade for everypony. I had instructed him not to serve anypony until I was done unless he wanted to clean up broken glass.
Crimson sat also, then shook his head. “Actually, sir, you have a bit of a reputation after sacking so much of the brass and the senior non-coms.”
My eyes widened a bit. I hadn’t considered that. Still, I could use it to my advantage. I turned back to the guardsponies. “In that case, please keep in mind that the kind of shit that was being pulled by the stay-the-course-until-Equestria-is-defeated Old Guard will not be tolerated by me. If I ask you for your opinion, I expect it to be your honest one, not some namby-pamby crap that you think I want to hear. Is that perfectly clear?”
“Yes, sir!” the four said in sync. Far Sight started to stand up to give his response in proper attention stance, but thought better of it and sat down again.
I nodded. “Good. Now, gentlestallions and mare, what I am about to reveal to you will not leave this room. I don’t want to hear about you discussing this even amongst yourselves outside of these chambers.”
I received a chorus of “Yes, sirs.”
I stood so that my side was facing them. “Would you all please keep your eyes on my cutie mark? I am going to show you a bit of magic that even the Great and Illustrious Trixie cannot perform.” I waited until their eyes were set, then switched in and out of the long-maned and tailed Celestia form as quickly as I could – perhaps a tenth of a second total. The reactions were as entertaining as I had hoped.
Far Sight gaped and fell over on his side. Ebon Flight narrowed his eyes and tapped his chin thoughtfully with a forehoof. Easy Breeze prostrated herself fully. Nightbloom looked around in confusion. “What? I think I blinked.”
“I’ll do it again,” I offered.
Apparently, he saw it this time. His mouth dropped open. “Celestia’s flaming teats!” Then he slammed a hoof against his mouth.
Crimson burst out laughing. “Well, you wanted honest reactions.”
Easy Breeze returned to a sitting position and said, “Are you… a changeling?”
Far Sight had recovered and shook his head. “Changeling magic looks like green flames that last for a half second or so. There’s a burning sound associated with it also. No, that’s more like near-instantaneous unicorn magic.”
“Yes, I have the ability to turn into…” I shifted forms. “…a copy of your former ruler at will…” Now the short-maned and tailed version “…excepting the cutie mark which remains constant.” I followed this with the pink haired version then back to their familiar long-maned version.
I ignored Steady muttering something like “Show off”.
I continued talking in Celestia’s dulcet tones. “But despite the exterior appearance, I am still Mark Wells.” I was receiving several skeptical looks. I sighed.
I spread my wings, did a half roll and used my flight magic to stand on the ceiling. “In case you are all not already aware, I’m receiving flight lessons from Steady Flight.” I nodded towards him as I walked in a circle around the chandelier. “My flying ability in my stallion form is still not very good. Something like this would be completely beyond me otherwise.” By this point, I had walked a full circle so I pulled in my wings, did a quick half roll then spread them out to halt my fall an inch above the floor. I rose up gently until I settled on my hooves again and furled my wings.
“I believe you are who you say you are, sir,” said Easy Breeze.
I smiled. “And what convinced you?”
“Well, a true mare, especially one of Celestia’s refinement, would have kept her tail down to cover her lady parts, even while upside down.”
There was no mistaking Crimson’s and Steady’s suppressed laughter for anything else now. I glanced over to glare at my valet and noticed myself in a mirror. My cheeks were quite pink.
Ebon Flight looked up at me critically. “This is how you got close to Tirek, isn’t it, sir?”
I added Ebon Flight to a list I was compiling in my head. He would be attending one of the strategy sessions Shining Armor and I would be holding this week. “Very good, Sergeant.” I was also glad for the distraction. “What made you realize that I used this form, Ebon Flight?”
“Well, sir. Other than your straight-line speed, your flight ability is absolute shit, so it has been an ongoing mystery exactly how you were able to get close enough to the centaur to apply the emetic. The tactical report is deliberately vague, but this certainly helps clear things up.”
Both Steady and Crimson were still trying hard to hold their laughter in. I wasn’t very pleased and I’m pretty sure is showed in my voice. I switched back to my stallion form. “Really?”
The thestral nodded. “Yes, sir. But don’t take it personally. This is just the standard Equestrian rating scale for recruits in all areas of their training. It starts at ‘Dog Shit’, then ‘Rat Shit’, ‘Absolute Shit’, ‘Plain Old Fashioned Shit’…” The other guards in front of me all nodded their heads in remembrance. “…and so on until you achieve ‘Barely Acceptable Shit’ and you know you’ve made it. Sir.”
I processed this. “I suppose I’ll have to keep at my lessons until I at least get to ‘Just Smells Like Shit’.” They all made sounds of agreement. Apparently, that was a thing, too. “So please keep this a secret, guardsponies. My ability was the ace-in-the-hole that allowed Equestria to survive the attack from Tirek. Rumors of Celestia’s return are one thing, but I’d like to keep my ability confidential for as long as possible. I’m sure you have a million questions, but I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to say more about my situation. Because all of you are risking your lives for me, it’s only proper that I put some faith in you as well. Plus, if you have to enter my rooms unexpectedly, you need to be able to act without hesitation.” I glanced to the side. “Crimson Boulder was able to cure my Craniorectal vision on this matter.”
Taking this as their cue, all four ponies stood. Ebon Flight spoke up. “You can count on us, sir.”
I smiled. “I know I can.” I looked up to Steady. “How about that lemonade?”
I was feeling the itch to get back at Steady. After all, he had known about my Marklestia form for two weeks and had been teasing me about it without my realizing what he was doing. This simply could not stand. Add that to his yuck-up session with Crimson plus laughing at my misstep in front of my guards and payback was now a necessity.
I waved a wing towards the bathroom. “Steady, would you draw a bath for me? I need to try out some mane-care products I got from the girls.”
“Of course. Your Lad—Lordship.” He bowed and trotted towards the bathroom.
Oh, just you wait, buster.
After he left the room, I locked the bay windows and put the key in my bedroom. Returning to the living room and my saddlebags, I pulled out a couple of bottles, a curry comb, a brush, and a round flask I had gotten from a certain Zebrican shaman. When I heard the squeak of the bath faucet being turned off, I removed the stopper from the flask, shifted to my Marklestia form, and used my wings to waft the fumes from the bottle towards the bathroom. I then set down the flask and waited.
Steady walked back into the living room and froze. “Sir, it’s rea…gurk!” His body went rigid and his eyes opened wide at the sultry look I was giving him, plus his noticing the scent in the air. Zecora was sympathetic to my quest to prank Steady and had provided me with an herbal concoction that mimicked the smell of a mare in heat… without the hormones, of course.
I licked my lips. “Oh, Steady. All those flights together. I should have known.” I slowly started to walk forward swaying my hips comically.
Steady opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and bolted to the bay windows, finding that he couldn’t open them.
I chuckled. “Did you want me to chase you? Is that the standard thing here to get your hot stallion blood boiling? I’m game. Just try to outfly me now.” Yeah, sure I was laying it on a bit thick, but oh well.
He turned around with genuine fear in his eyes. “N-n-now, Mark, you don’t know what you’re doing. Your heat cycle just isn’t synced with the mares in Canterlot is all.” My smile deepened and I lolled my tongue out. He gulped and started to circle around me. “L-l-let me go get a doctor to—”
I cut him off by spreading my wings. “Oh, I’ve got all the help I need right in front of me. What do you say, Steady? Want to play doctor?” Oh, my lord, the cheese! Surely he was catching on?
He held his forehooves in front of himself protectively as he stood up and backpedaled. I jumped to the side to put the door to the bathroom directly behind him. “Mark, Mark! You aren’t thinking straight. Just lie down and relax for a while.”
“OK,” I said sweetly.
He paused. “OK?”
My predatory grin returned tenfold. “As long as you are on top of me.”
He walked backwards into the bathroom, hastened by a coy attempt of mine to nip at him. “Th-that’s not a good idea.”
This was just too easy. “You’re right. Once again.”
He was standing right next to the tub now. He looked up at me hopefully.
“A stallion like you would be much more at home on the bottom.”
As soon as I was completely inside the bathroom, I reared to my full height and spread my wings wide. Steady tried to take a step back but instead toppled into the tub. As he sputtered to the surface, I put a gentle hoof on his mouth and moved my lips next to his ear as he froze.
“Gotcha!”
I roared with laughter as I fell back on my haunches. He looked at me in bewilderment until it finally sank in. “Mark! You don’t joke with a stallion about stuff like that!”
Eventually, I got my guffaws somewhat under control. “Oh, you so had that one coming! That was epic! Even Phil would have loved this one!”
Steady slowly climbed out of the tub, water streaming off of his clothes and feathers. “Fill? Who is Fill?” His head was lowered and he did not look like my friendly valet anymore.
I backed up a step. “Oh! Oh... ah... yeah! That's right! My best buddy Fill! Didn't I tell you that I had suddenly remembered him? Must have slipped my mind.”
By this time, he had backed me up until we both had left the bathroom. Steady glared at me. “Fill? Is that a griffon name?”
“Oh... Oh... I meant... that’s his first name... the first part of his name, you know, his nickname. He's actually called...” Think! Think! “Fill Agreed!”
“Filigreed?” repeated Steady as he stalked me. “I suppose his brother's names are 'Fill Buster' and 'Fill Turd'?”
“Well, actually they are... I mean he's an only child!”
His eyes narrowed. “You certainly seem to remember a lot about ‘Fill’ all of a sudden.”
By this point, he had marched me up against the bay windows. I stammered, “Uh, I can see you'll need some time to dry off and cool down, so I'll just... leave you for a bit.”
I turned around and tried to open the windows, only to remember that I had locked them to prevent Steady from escaping, and the key was in the next room. Drat.
I heard from behind me, “But this is your room. And you can't go anywhere in that form.” I turned around to doubtless say something else brilliant but was met with a leaping pegasus who in no time at all was on top of me with his hooves around my throat and his face in mine.
“Enough of these games! I want the truth, and I want it now! Give it to me! Give it to me!”
I struggled to get my forehooves on his forelegs in an attempt to push him off of me when we both froze at an unexpected sound.
Knock! Knock!
The front door swung open to reveal Trixie, complete with cape and her large crown.
She looked at the two of us, blinked once, then turned around, not bothering to close the door. “Trixie does not want to know.”
I was in my stallion form again. Steady and I had gone through half a bottle of Eyrish Whiskey.
“…and that’s what my life was like before I ended up in this magical horse-land,” I concluded.
Steady had stopped drinking a few minutes ago, just staring at his glass. I had continued on, figuring his body would catch up to his brain eventually. I waited for him to speak for a couple of minutes. At that point, I lost patience.
I put down the glass and made to stand up. “Of course, if you don’t believe me and would rather accept the reality where Celestia has the hots for you…” That earned me a venomous glare, so I sat down with a smirk. “Sorry. Wasn’t sure if you were ever coming back to the conversation.”
He rolled the glass in his hoof then motioned for me to fill it. “That’s a lot to take in, but… well… I believe you. It explains a lot that I had been noticing. Plus why you think so differently from every other pony I know.”
After fulfilling his request, I put the bottle back down. “Steady, I value your friendship as much as I valued Phil’s and I don’t want to lose it over this… minor spat.”
His glance caught me chuckling and he looked back at his glass but with a smile.
“I’m sure you have questions.”
He took a sip. “So what happened when you arrived?”
I thought about the portals I destroyed, possibly stranding the Royal Sisters forever. I thought about waking up in the hospital, making a deal with Trixie, and everything she told me. When I opened my mouth to speak, I felt a gentle breath across my neck and my nose caught the hint of cotton candy. That’s when I also remembered my Pinkie Promise. I shivered, closed my mouth, and reconsidered.
“That’s… not something I’m supposed to talk about, sorry. I mean, you’re already in a pretty select group. The Element Bearers, Spike, Trixie, and… uh… one guard are the only ones who know about my true origins. Even Raven doesn’t know.”
He sighed. “Well, that’s understandable, I guess.” He looked thoughtful for a long moment before putting down his glass. “Mark, as you’re a newcomer to Equestria and its customs, I can’t emphasize this in stronger terms – you simply, absolutely, positively cannot pull a trick like you just did on any male ever.”
I looked up and may have slurred my words a bit. “So – do the same to Crimson?”
“Absolutely. Give me some time to get hold of an invisibility charm first. I gotta see that.”
I considered through an alcohol-imbued haze. “Problem. If I do the same thing to him, he might punch the door open or buck a hole in the wall. If he tried to escape via the balcony, the bay windows wouldn't even slow him down. His forte is strength, after all.”
“Hmmm. Better planning needed.” Steady was quiet for a while before he unsteadily got to his hooves. “I think I’m going to sleep this one off and give myself time to think about it.”
As he started for the door, I said, “No, you’re not.”
He wobbled to a stop and narrowed his eyes at me.
I pointed with a forehoof. “You left some in your glass. Fine whiskey should never be wasted.”
He grinned and turned back to the table. With one hoof on it to keep from falling over, Steady finished his glass. He smacked his lips.
He had a wide smile when he stepped next to me again. “And before I forget, thanks for choosing to trust me… and I’m glad that you think of me on par with your lifelong friend Filigreed.”
He made it four more steps before he collapsed in a heap and started snoring.
I rolled my eyes. “Lightweight.” I put a blanket on him before deciding to skip the now very cold bath and hauling myself off to sleep.
The hardest part of arranging the visit to Alt-Earth was convincing Trixie to let us go away for several days. Even half a day spent in Sunset’s world meant five days back in Equestria. Starting on Saturday morning saved us two working days, but both Twilight and I had to skip Monday through Wednesday’s courts at least. Nevertheless, there was little point in making the interdimensional trip if we didn’t make the most of it. I did find it amusing though that the true alicorn had to plead with the fake one to be allowed to go.
Shining Armor and I finished our challenge classes with the remaining candidates. After giving my input, I trusted Shining's judgment to make the final decisions on interim ranks for the newly assigned staff officers and senior non-coms. Each candidate would have to prove their ability in their new roles to make their positions permanent. All told, about a quarter of the new leaders consisted of the old guard, though Shining promised the final list would not assign anyone their old rank or previous responsibilities. In between classes, Shining tried to teach me a variety of shield spells, since he was the expert. Ultimately, I proved capable of creating a generic shield bubble that stopped both magical and physical attacks. I could vary its size from barely larger than my Marklestia form to about ten body lengths in size. It grew stronger the more magic I poured into it. At my maximum regulated output, Shining called the results "very good." When I asked if this was on the recruit "shit" scale, he laughed and said that it actually was.
Human Rarity had come through in plenty of time for mare Rarity to fashion clothing for all the girls. So while the spares sent through with the care package proved instructional for our fashionista, the mares ultimately did not need to wear them. My Rarity already had my outfit ready before I had left Ponyville the previous weekend. I had left them in my room in Twilight’s castle as there was no point taking them with me. I had examined them with some bemusement. Rarity’s idea of street casual was a lot different from mine, but I supposed that it was better to be overdressed than under, or ridiculously so.
Despite the amount of time that she would be forced to stay away from the farm, even Applejack was curious enough to spend the time on Earth, and she didn’t want to let her friends down. Big Macintosh assured her several times that they could cope without her for a week as it wasn’t the busy season. Fluttershy arranged with a friend to feed her animals, and the rest had arranged time off from their jobs. We were all dressed in our new clothes and waiting for Twilight to arrive.
The alicorn eventually showed up with two books carried in the glow of her magic. She passed one to Spike and smiled at us. “Is everypony ready?”
We all assured her that we were eager to go, and I asked, “What’s the book for?”
“Oh. I figured that communications would be a bit awkward if somepony had to go through the portal every time, so I magically linked these two books. Anything written in one will also appear on the pages of the other, and the receiving book will glow when the sending book is closed upon completion of the message. I’ll leave our book somewhere conspicuous so that it can be checked easily. Anyway, enough of that – let’s go!”
Twilight activated the portal and I led the way. This time I was ready for the change to bipedal status and I straightened up and looked around. It was daylight this time, and all the girls were gathered around the statue. I realized that they were deliberately obscuring the portal exit in case of curious eyes – smart thinking on their part.
“Hi girls! What do you think?” I spread my arms and did a partial spin to show off my outfit.
“Much better than the dress!” Rainbow said with a chuckle.
“Exactly what I would have designed,” Rarity said as she came over to examine the fit.
“I’m glad that you approve. Anyhow, you’d better stand back and give some room for the rest of my friends. They expected me to clear the way for them. Better stand by to help them though. None of them have had experience being bipedal.”
About ten seconds later, Twilight stepped through. Damned if she didn’t look cute as a human. Not unexpectedly, she was disoriented and she lifted up a hand and gawked at it in amazement.
Sunset helped Twilight to her feet. “Don’t worry – you’ll get used to that eventually. Better not block the exit now though.”
Moments later, Rainbow Dash stepped through, just as colorful as ever. She looked at herself and laughed. “This is so crazy!” When her counterpart helped her to stand up, they both stared at each other before my Rainbow said, “Yeah, you’re nearly as awesome as me.”
Her mirror self replied, “Whaddaya mean? You can only dream of being as amazing as me!”
We all laughed – that was so Dash regardless of which world she belonged to.
Pinkie Pie came through next. To my astonishment, she was up on her feet like she’d had them since birth. She and her counterpart exchanged enthusiastic hugs and moved off to chatter excitedly with each other.
Rarity came next. I helped her up and the first thing that she did was check out how her clothes fit on her new body. Human Rarity came over to greet her counterpart and, of course, start discussing the design and fit.
Fluttershy fell through the portal with an “Eep!” Fortunately, a blanket spread on the pavement saved her from scraped knees, her skirt being too short to protect them. Sunset had probably foreseen the need.
“Oh, you poor dear! Let me help you,” human Fluttershy said.
Between her and me, we lifted the yellow girl up, then the two of them shyly looked at each other with half their faces hidden by their long hair. They blushed and giggled. I figured that would be about as much conversation as they would have for the moment and ushered them out of the way just in time to allow Applejack to come barreling through.
She hauled herself to her feet showing better preparedness for her change of status than anyone bar me and Pinkie. She looked about and grinned. “Boy and howdy! Ain’t this a treat?! You shor do look mighty like mah friends. Matter of fact, if’n it weren’t fer the clothes, Ah’d have a tough time pickin’ you apart!”
Sunset grinned and said, “Well, now that you’re all here, welcome to Earth. I hope you enjoy visiting my home of the past eighteen months… or fifteen years, if you will.”
“I can’t wait to look around,” Twilight replied.
Sunset continued, “Due to the time differential, we know that you’re on a tight schedule, so we’ve taken the liberty of planning an itinerary for you. However, we have one more person to pick up before we proceed. Fortunately, the local bus will be here in about eight minutes and you will get to see some of our city along the way.”
Sunset picked up the blanket, folded it, and put it in her backpack, confirming my guess that she had provided it. We were then ushered over to the bus stop. I hung back to keep a watch on my friends in case they needed help. I had no trouble adapting to this version of Earth, but I knew it would be as confusing to them as Equestria had been to me upon my arrival there.
The bus trip revealed little different from my Earth with the exception that it seemed a bit brighter and cleaner than what I was familiar with. My friends found it all fascinating though. The bus itself was an object of immense curiosity. Twilight found the concept of internal combustion engines quite interesting, but the others soon found many more things to grab their attention, both inside the bus and out the windows as we passed through the suburban areas of the city.
When we alighted from the bus, Pinkie led the way down a street to a nondescript house.
“Are you sure this is where she lives?” human Rarity asked.
“Yepperoonie!” the pink one replied, skipping down the path to the front door. She pushed the doorbell long before the rest of us got there.
The young man who answered had white skin and two-tone blue hair. I realized that this had to be Shining Armor and almost burst out laughing at how much like a surfer dude he looked. His voice matched his appearance too as he asked, “What is this? A twins convention?” Then he spotted Twilight and gaped. “Sis? What are you…? But you were just…”
“Who’s at the door, Shiny?” came a familiar voice from within the house.
Without taking his eyes off the girl in front of him, he replied, “You’d better come see this, Twily.”
A lavender-skinned girl with dark-blue hair with purple and pink stripes came to the door. With the exception of the spectacles she was wearing, she was Twilight’s twin. She too stared at the people gathered at the door before my Twilight stepped forward.
“Are you familiar with the multiverse theory and the concept of parallel worlds?” she asked her twin who nodded. “Great! Because that’s where I and my friends just came from. Our world is called Equus and we come from a nation named Equestria where we are actually ponies. But in passing through the portal to this world, we get transformed into humans. I’m your counterpart from another world, and so are the other five twins that you see.”
“Are you believing any of this, Twily?” Shining asked dubiously.
“Yes, actually. It’s easier to believe than six identical twins just turning up all of a sudden, including one of me. In fact, I think I recognize some of them. Canterlot High, right?”
“That’s right,” human Applejack replied.
“But why me?” Twilight asked. “What have five students from Canterlot High got in common with me?”
Equestria Twilight replied, “Because the six of us are the very best of friends in Equestria, and these girls seem to think that they and you could be the same here.”
Shining said, “Dean Cadance has been trying to get you to make some friends, Twily. I guess if everything they’ve said is true, these girls are a great way to start.”
Human Twilight still looked uncertain, but mine said, “Come with me and I’ll tell you about my world, and you can tell me about yours. We can then write up papers on them afterward.”
Her counterpart brightened, her interest piqued. “That sounds like a great idea. Sorry, BBBFF, but do you mind if I cancel our plans for today?”
The young man chuckled. “Just go, Twily. Opportunities like these don’t come around every day.”
“Let me go grab a few things!” She dashed off into the house, no doubt to fetch several notebooks, pens, and her phone. Just like my Twilight! Except for the phone, of course, but maybe not for much longer.
As Sunset had said, they had an itinerary planned for us. That consisted of a guided tour of the city that concentrated on places and sights that were significantly different from those in Equestria. I was struck by how similar to my world it was, and yet with a surreal edge to everything. Nevertheless, I was far more at home than the Equestrians. Lunch was at a vegetarian Thai restaurant, which I thought was very considerate of our hosts. The only downside was human Rainbow Dash and Equestrian Rainbow Dash challenging each other to eat “Thai hot” jungle curry. They were both much more subdued for the rest of the journey as they nursed their aching tongues and stomachs. Neither had been able to outdo the other, which at least meant they could commiserate in their suffering. I had no illusions that this lesson would be the end of their future attempts to outdo each other.
Perhaps it was a good thing that we only had half a day before we had to go back. I think even Twilight was a bit overwhelmed by the time we returned to Canterlot High.
Twilight gave Sunset the book that she had prepared and instructed her on its use. Then Pinkie stepped up to Sunset.
“I’ll have a party ready for you and all your friends when you visit Equestria next time.”
“Thanks, Pinkie,” Sunset said with a smile.
“And I’m inviting your parents too,” Pinkie added.
Sunset’s smile fell. “Oh. I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Don’t be a Silly Billy! Of course they’ll want to see you again.”
“I didn’t exactly leave under pleasant circumstances, Pinkie. Princess Celestia wasn’t the only pony with whom I burned my bridges.”
“All the more reason to rebuild those bridges!” Pinkie replied cheerfully. “Am I right?”
“Listen to her, Sunny,” human Applejack said. “Family is more important than anything.”
“You won’t let me skip this, will you?” Sunset asked of her friends.
There was a chorus of ‘Nope’ from everyone present and we all laughed.
There were hugs all around before we made our final farewells and stepped back through the portal. The final thing that I saw before I took my turn was Earth’s Twilight with Sunset’s arm around her waist. I was the last person to start shipping people, but damned if I didn’t think those two had hit it off. Made me wonder about my Twilight.
Crimson Boulder was the watcher on duty on the other side. Once he had ascertained that our trip had gone without a hitch, he left to have Spike send a report to Trixie via dragonfire. We divested ourselves of our ill-fitting human clothing before heading off to our rooms to freshen up. Then we gathered again in the dining room for a snack and drink while Spike prepared a proper meal for us. Not surprisingly, Rainbow Dash wasn’t hungry and probably wouldn’t be for a while. We had plenty to discuss while we waited, but we all agreed that the visit had been a rousing success.
We were sitting around the dining table after finishing our meal when Spike spoke up.
“By the way, Twilight – the table that you ordered turned up yesterday. I had the delivery ponies put it into place.”
“Oh! That’s wonderful! Everypony – you have to see this,” Twilight replied, getting out of her chair and heading out of the room.
We all followed, wondering what was so special about this new addition to the furniture. When we entered the throne room, the answer became clear. A large, circular table occupied the area between the thrones and Twilight examined it closely.
“Yes, it’s perfect! Now we can all sit here and discuss our plans for the future. Come on everypony – take your places!” she insisted excitedly.
We all chuckled but the girls indulged her. I watched as the marks on the chair backs lit up as each took their throne. Fluttershy was the last to settle herself on the cushioned seat and that’s when things started getting wild. Beams of light shot out from the marks on the chairs and through the table. The floor shook and rumbled as crystal formations started pushing up out of the floor, knocking the table askew. Then something else started emerging from the center under the table which only I could see from my vantage point outside the circle of thrones. It shot up abruptly, flipping the table into the air. I froze for a moment as I realized that it was heading for me! Belatedly, I hastened to get out of its way, but it still caught me, trapping me beneath it.
Moments later, Twilight’s magic lifted the table off of me.
“Mark! Are you okay?”
I swayed dizzily on my hooves. “That’s new. Something crashed into me instead of me into it.”
“He’s okay,” Rainbow concluded. “Now would somepony tell me what this is?”
A new crystal table had replaced the wooden one which was now slightly worse for wear. Unlike that one, the new one sported a 3D map on its surface featuring towns and landmarks that even I was familiar with.
Spike hopped up onto the table and started walking through the map. “This is incredible! It’s got all of Equestria.”
“It is incredible,” Twilight agreed, “but what is it for?”
“I’ve got a better question,” I said. “Why are your butts glowing?”
Each of the mare’s cutie marks was now flashing brightly, and they stared at them in confusion. Then Twilight said, “We’re not the only ones, Mark.”
I looked around and saw mine was flashing too. Weird. Suddenly it and everypony else’s cutie marks projected a copy of itself out and over the map table. They orbited Twilight’s for a moment before lowering down to hover over a point in north-eastern Equestria.
Fluttershy pointed to the map and said, “If this is Ponyville, why are our cutie marks over there?”
“I don’t know, but it seems like the map wants us to find out. That must be the reason behind the Tree of Harmony giving us this castle. It finally makes sense! We have to follow it,” Twilight declared.
“Aw, shoot! Ah reckon yer right,” Applejack said.
Rainbow Dash hovered over the map, examining it more closely. “I’m all for it. Seems like there’s tons of opportunity for fun adventures.”
Pinkie and Rarity were willing to go along with them, but Fluttershy was a bit more reluctant. Then all six turned to me.
“What about you, Mark?”
“You’ve gotta be kidding! Trixie will kill me if I’m not back soon.”
“But you’ve been summoned by the map too,” Rarity argued.
Applejack grinned. “Plus, she’s likely to lock ya up in yer room because yer cutie mark will be glowin’ the whole time. That would distract everypony’s attention away from her.”
They all looked at me expectantly and I groaned. “Okay! Okay! I give up. I’ll go too.”
You only live once.
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This story surely hasn't gone off the Mark.
I have to know - was there a plaid trail in the air behind them?
9312835
Oh balls! There was one of them jokes to make and I totally spaced on it.
Alright so how will starlight effect mark
Mark make the right choice choose trixie
9312863
Mark I think will notice right away the Stalinist dictatorship style that she will be using.
Mark(lestia?) versus Our Town? This should be fun.
The question is will Stank Bells be able to fly properly once
Sunset ShimmerStarlight Glimmer steals his cutie mark?Thanks for the correction, admkline
...Did he just YOLO? why, mark? Why have you forgotten about Murphey and his law?
I am... concerned
Now i wonder how Mark will deal with Starlight
FINALLY!
Heh, half surprised Sci Twi didn't ask to time share over to Equestria to eke out more study time! Think about it: night time, cross over to Equus, sleep eight hours, forty hours later doing whatever, return!
AMrk wasn't in Marklestia form goign through? WAY TO MESS WITH MY FUN!
And ooohhh Starlight next...wonder when the sirens will play?
9313078
You meant to say Starlight Glimmer here I believe.
why you know make picture of EQG Mark!
Not to nick pick to much but on the other side of the portal I believe the word girls should have been used, unless this is meant to show how internal thinking of females as mares is to Mark at this point.
no one else has posted this yet, so...
9313357
Ooo, numbers... 10.13 time ratio... eight hours equals 81.04 hours in Equestria... calculating to minimize jetlag... diurnal cycle matchup at... 3 days 7 hours 53 minutes Equestrian time (7 hours 53 minutes EQG time). Or 5 days 10 hours 31 minutes, which she'd probably try for more, being Twilight... but her main problem (presumably) would be the number of nights she could find an excuse to be away from home. There are only so many "study sleepovers with Sunset" which can be had...
Of course, there's always the 'study weekends with Sunset' version - Friday night to Monday morning. 2 days, 9 hours, 50 minutes EQG-side, and add another 22 days Equestria-side. Effectively, 1 week (5 days) in EQG and three weeks in Equestria. (Although from Equestria's perspective, she'd appear to spend just under seven weeks away, three weeks locally.)
And now, it's over to Sunset for her commentary:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/8/14/1224733__safe_edit_edited+screencap_screencap_sci-dash-twi_sunset+shimmer_twilight+sparkle_equestria+girls_friendship+games_image+macro_meme_nerd_sunse.jpeg
9312835
Even if not, I'm sure that the air would have seen some marked whirls.
9313841
(in plaid, no less)
9313725
The story is told from Mark's perspective. This could just be an indicator of how much his default mode of thinking has changed--seeing (colourful) human analogues, he can still barely avoid saying "mares" around them, you might notice.
tl;dr First person narrative makes this appropriate, if it is intentional.
9314081
9313725
You're both right. I used "mares" because Mark's point-of-view is shifting, but I've had second thoughts about it because it does seem unlikely that he would use that word when he has actual "humans" in front of him. So I have changed the word to "girls".
Wonder what bothered Steady so much of about Mark leading on? Nice can't wait to see what will happen in Our Town, I don't think he would suspect anything of what happen there, and would just guess it's as a cult town that do no harm, I wonder what effect having Mark's cutie mark removed on him, could it correct the issue of his magic on his stallion form?
I am really getting tired of the Celesmark part it doesn't seem to add anything to the story other then trolling other characters, would like that it either stick with it or get rid of it, because it's used to keep things interesting and keep the attention on Mark and be around the Mane six.
Sorry. I won't be coming to work today on the account of radient flanks.
9315574
On the plus side, if you tell your boss that you can’t concentrate on your work because of their “radiant flanks,” then you won’t have to worry about that job tomorrow!
Oh boy! I know where we're going next!
Oh boy, I hope Starlight survives Mark...
Damn... great story so far! Just finished reading from the start, and woohoo, it just keeps getting better!
Soo... time for some theories. Since the actual episode In Our Town shows that including their magic being stripped away from them, the equal mark also changes a bit of the Mane 6’s personalities (or somethin) ... for example, Pinkie isn’t her cheerful self anymore and Applejack losing her farmer accent. So, I’m guessing that if Mark gets equalized as well, he might lose his klutziness??? Meh, it’s just my theory.
9313822
I feel like it would be more sensible for the Humane 7 to meet up in Equestria as it would allow both parties more time.
Over a 2 day weekend, the girls could get in 20 days in Equestria and the mares could spend more than half a day hanging out as well.
Of course, Twilight still has duties, but without the commute time, she could just meet them when she is free. The rest of the ponies apart from Mark would be pretty free to do so.
"Would you" needs a quotation, Mark.
I'm beginning to notice Trixie is falling way off to the wayside here.
Where's the "hi mom and dad" part
I’m kinda concerned over the intelligence of ancient Equestrian wizards... When you make a portal to another world that also changes your form, it’s important to include a mechanism to provide garments/utilities/IDK that are proper for local species. I’m certain there are quite a few appraisal and duplication spells that could pull it off, as well as photosynthesis ones to power it. Jeeze... Starswhirl and his bunch really were shut-ins if they didn’t think of the consequences of cultural norms being violated by other-worldly trespassers.
...Well that’s 3 minutes of my time thinking about this I’ll never get back.
Mwahahahaha, Mark vs Starlight.. FIGHT!
Priceless Prank
related to littlepip down the line?
This has been quite interesting thus far.
I got to check out MLP original content at some point. Reading countless Fan Fiction really start messing with my memorys of the original show
But its like DBZ TFS in the way that the original is less entertaining 
> The hardest part of arranging the visit to Alt-Earth was convincing Trixie to let us go away for several days. Even half a day spent in Sunset’s world meant five days back in Equestria
Why are they holding the part on the human side of the portal? At least do the FIRST party on the side where time moves faster!
The image in this chapter and the one before didn’t load. Says there’s a network error?
I just checked the source URL’s, looks like the server is down :/
oh, Estee recently wrote this silly story:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/485976/princesses-produce-persistent-plumbing-problems
derpicdn.net/img/2015/1/6/800848/medium.jpg
Odd... I most have mixed up storys. I remember Equestria girl Chrysalis busting the Dimension hopping Equestrias alongside their human counterparts.
A very interesting question for me is how the human world has not been torn to pieces if there are a lot of doubles from a parallel universe.
11450618
If I understand the Equestria Girls lore correctly, only Sunset Shimmer and the Dazzlings migrated from Equestria to that world. None of them have counterparts in the Equestria Girls universe.
Equestria's Mane Six were just brief visitors to that world, or does your question relate to a different aspect of dimensional stability?
Mark missed a golden opportunity to grab as many technical manuals and military history/strategy books as possible from the human world.
Disappointing from someone as pragmatic as him.