Chapter 11 - For What Ails Thee
I woke up and gasped, my heart thumping wildly. My vision was blurred, but the last thing that I recalled was my terrifying ascent. I flared my wings in panic, only to hit something solid, making me flip and fall for a brief moment before I came to an abrupt halt. My nose, of course, bore the brunt.
“I advise that you calm before you do more harm.”
The voice was female with what I would call some kind of African accent – if that continent even existed on this world. I blinked rapidly to try to clear my vision as I turned my head and looked up at a figure looming over me. Gradually the view came into focus and I beheld an equine form with a Mohawk-style mane with grey and white stripes, gold earrings and necklets. She was looking at me with mild concern. She should be more worried – zebras don’t belong in the stratosphere! It took a long moment before my befuddled mind realized that I was lying on a wooden floor and not a cirrus cloud. I decided to ask some cogent questions.
“Wha—?” I croaked.
She lifted me with her front hooves and placed me on the cushioned surface nearby which I suppose I fell off. “Your body went too long without air. Now we must take extra care of what's in there.” She poked me with a hoof.
Now that she had brought it to my attention, my lungs felt as if I was breathing sand. They ached mightily, which is not too surprising as I think I had reached some rarified heights. This had to be a new achievement for me – I had endured many pratfalls in my life, but this was the first time that I had fallen up! So, how did I get here? And where was here?
I looked about me and noted the décor. Masks, bottles, jugs, and canisters adorned the walls and shelves inlaid into what appeared to be another tree-house, albeit a smaller one than Twilight’s library tree. A bubbling cauldron sat in the middle of the room and a strange smell permeated the air. As I watched, the zebra used a ladle to scoop some of the contents of the cauldron into a cup and brought it over to me.
“Five sips of this brew will help you heal true,” she said, holding out the cup to me.
I eyed it suspiciously, suddenly realizing that I seemed to be in a witch-doctor’s hut. “What’s that? And what’s with all the rhyming?” I rasped.
“A herbal potion made just for Mark Wells, and my way of speaking is one of my tells.”
“You know who I am? How?”
“Because I told her, dufus!” came a much more familiar voice.
I looked over to see Rainbow Dash standing in the doorway, scowling at me. She then turned to face outside and yelled, “Hey, girls! Sleeping Beauty is awake now!” The mare then went back to glaring daggers at me.
“Dash! What happened? How did I get here?”
The colorful mare trotted over and said, “First, take your medicine. Zecora’s cool.”
The zebra held out the cup once more. If Rainbow thought it was safe, I’d look stupid refusing it now. I took the cup and sipped the elixir. As expected, it tasted worse than my older brother’s socks (Don’t ask me how I know that!) Quickly, I sipped it four more times as directed. My sore and scratchy throat was immediately soothed, and the ache in my lungs dulled. I passed the cup back and said, “Thanks.”
“That should cure the painful wheeze. With my potions, I aim to please.”
“So why does every potion in Equestria taste so awful, anyway?”
“It is not a matter of style, why potions taste so vile. It is an incentive perhaps, not to do the same again and relapse. Now I insist you rest for a day. Only then will my concerns allay.”
I couldn’t fault that logic. With a sigh, I laid back down again. My memory was scattered and I tried to put the pieces together. “Remind me, Dash. Did our last flying lesson go super bad for me?”
She shook her head and furrowed her brow. “Nothing like that. Don’t you remember?”
I sighed. “Oh, you gave me mouth-to-mouth again and made me pass out.”
I heard her stammer. “No! I… I mean… well, I did give you mouth-to-mouth but only on the way here to get help.”
“Why don’t you just admit that your kisses are a danger to all stallions, darling… they are just too fragile.”
I turned to see Rarity trotting into the room and smiled. “Hey, Rares.”
“Hey yourself, Mark. Is that meanie Rainbow Dash threatening to kiss you into submission again?”
“You know that’s not how it happened, Rarity! I saved his sorry flank with my quick thinking and quicker flying!”
Applejack followed Rarity into the room. “And yer high-energy smooches, Ah reckon.”
Rainbow waved her forelegs for emphasis. “He wasn’t breathing! We were still at 50,000 feet! Of course I had to use desperate measures to try to get him to breathe again!”
Rarity smirked. “Oh, I’m quite certain you were desperate, darling. It’s a surprise you can think of anything except those lips of his.”
Rainbow stood with her mouth open in indignation, no words coming out.
Rarity glanced at Applejack long enough for a shared look and they burst out laughing. A few moments later Applejack spoke up. “Ah’m sorry, Rainbow. It was just too good an opportunity to razz ya a bit. Truth is, ya saved Mark and we’re very glad for yer heroics.”
Rarity nodded and pulled the pegasus into a hug. “Do forgive us, dear. We were just having a bit of fun at your expense.” She pulled back and looked Rainbow in the eyes. “Just think of it as repayment for the prank you pulled – the incident with the spaghetti.”
The blue pegasus lowered her wings as her agitation eased. “Yeah, that one may have gotten out of hoof, even for me. I suppose I might have deserved some payback.”
“Welcome back!” Pink suddenly filled my world. That could only mean one thing.
“Hi, Pinkie.”
She stopped hugging me and my face was released from the poofiness of her mane. She straddled me on what had to be the zebra’s… Zecora’s?... bed and gave me her trademark huge smile. Curiously, she wasn’t as heavy as I had expected. “Didja have any cool dreams while you were away? I bet you had the one where a 200-foot ice cream monster is attacking you and all you have is a plastic spork!”
Applejack said, “Pinkie, get off the patient. That’s not helpin’ him heal up none.”
I blinked and everything was dark. I used a hoof to lift what looked like a cowboy hat off of my face, only to see Pinkie riding on the back of a very unamused Applejack, her head where the orange mare’s hat used to be. Not wanting to get any further on the Element of Honesty’s bad side, I held it out to her. “So what happened, exactly? My recollection is somewhat spotty.”
Pinkie answered while Applejack took the offered Stetson in her teeth. “The Noodle Incident? We don’t talk about it.”
“No, I mean what happened to me? I really don’t know how I ended up here.”
Rainbow moved closer. “Do you remember being at Fluttershy’s?”
I frowned, thinking back. Everypony gave me time to collect my thoughts. I started to trace a path through my memories. Arriving, evil bunnies, Discord, on the roof, hovering practice, then the curvature of the planet. Oh.
I looked up. “Yeah, I remember now. My flight magic got stuck on full blast and I couldn’t stop climbing. I don’t know why or how. I blacked out when I got too high. After that – nothing until I woke up here. Where’s here, by the way?”
“Zecora’s home,” Rainbow explained, waving to the mare who smiled back at me while she ground some reagent in a mortar and pestle. “We were over the Everfree Forest by the time I got you down to a safe altitude, and she was the closest medical help.”
“The Everfree? Isn’t that the place that I was warned to stay away from?”
“Yeah, but me and the girls know the safe route here.”
“So, how did you find out I was in trouble?”
“I was working nearby and heard Flutters cry out, and if you ever can hear her from any distance, then you know there’s big trouble. I zoomed over, saw where she was pointing as you were taking off for the moon, and gave chase.”
“Where is Fluttershy, by the way?”
Rarity answered. “She was called away by one of her songbird friends. Apparently, there was an emergency with a spider.”
“Oh. A poisonous bite, then?”
She shook her head. “No. Some creature stepped on the poor thing.”
While I tried to wrap my head around that thought, Pinkie apparently sensed my confusion and went in for the kill. “Rainbow Dash is just too shy to give you the good news! Discord was taking measurements. He even gave me her old, obsolete award to re-jigger. You’re the new champ!” She hoofed over a plaque with several words struck out and new words stamped next to them.
Highest Altitude – Unassisted Flight Category
Mark Wells Rainbow Dash
72,143 ft 60,534 ft
Awarded by the Greater Equus Aeronautics Council
Two Sisters Year 2, Day 38 212
I looked over at the pegasus and started to have a better understanding of her foul mood. I held the award out to her. “Rainbow, I can’t take this. It’s yours.”
She rolled her eyes and grumbled. “Not anymore.”
Pinkie bounced over to Rainbow and gave her a hug. “Aww, don’t be a Gloomy Gus! Discord only gave me the one trophy out of all the ones you have. And sharing is caring!”
Rainbow shook herself free of Pinkie’s embrace and stomped over to my bedside. “Yeah, so what’s the big idea? I try my best to teach you and what do you do? You go on break my second-most-favorite record!”
Rarity spoke up. “Actually, darling, it would be more accurate to say Mark demolished your record. Completely obliterated it by over ten thousand feet.” That earned her a glare over Dash’s shoulder. Rarity was nonplused and shrugged. “It’s best to be accurate, dear.”
“Second-most-favorite?” I asked.
Rainbow’s attention returned to me. “Yeah. I totally would be hating you if you broke my Unassisted Ground Speed in Level Flight record. No pony better touch that one.”
I nodded to preserve my safety, but then remembered something. “You said ‘Unassisted’? ”
This got Dash into a better mood. “Hoo boy! That was a great moment in Equestrian history. You see, there was this crazy Wonderbolt second-stringer named Good Doer D. She loved to tinker and told Celestia that she could make a device out of fireworks and liquid candle wax that would allow pegasi to travel anywhere across the country in just minutes flat. With the Princess’ blessing, she got to work. About a year later, she was ready for her maiden assisted flight.”
“How did it go?”
“Do you want the good news or the bad news?”
That was an easy one. The longer Dash wasn’t thinking about how angry she was at me, the better. “All the news.”
The pegasus grinned. “She was the first, and to date, only pony other than myself to achieve a sonic rainboom. And that was more than a mile before she got to the judge’s stand. She topped out at well over a thousand miles-per-hour. Eyewitness accounts said she was grinning like a maniac the whole time. The bad news is that the heat from her device burned her back legs horribly, and her parachute only partially functioned. She was busted up pretty bad and Celestia confiscated her device and banned further research into the technology. She had to drop out of the Wonderbolts but gained immortality and the undying respect of all flyers. Heck, every single active and retired Wonderbolt, some griffons and even a young dragon visited her in the hospital!”
I smirked. “And you’ve been trying to figure out a way to convince Celestia and now Trixie to let you get your hooves on that device.”
She started to nod, then caught herself. She narrowed her eyes, looking at me. “Tell you what. You get me that thing, and I’ll consider us square and fair, sounds good?”
“Sorry I’m late.” Everyone in the room turned to the new arrival. Twilight Sparkle looked like she hadn’t slept since the day before. Her mane and tail were a mess and there were bags of fatigue under her eyes. “Spike convinced me it was a matter of life or death.”
Applejack responded, “Well, Ah reckon that may have been the truth at the time, but Mark’s out of danger now. Zecora’s done a right dandy job of treating him.”
Twilight observed me lying on Zecora’s bed and hurried over. “So, tell me what led up to this, Mark,” she asked, concern furrowing her brow.
I smiled and glanced at Rainbow Dash. “Well first, Rainbow tried her hoof at teaching me how to fly. After I got tired of the physical abuse—”
“Hey!”
I grinned. “...Applejack suggested I ask Fluttershy to teach me to hover. When I tried to push just a small amount of my magic into my wings, it seemed to get stuck in the ‘full blast’ position—”
Pinkie offered, “You mean the “have-a-drink-from-a-firehose position!”
I nodded. “That actually describes better how it felt. I’ve never felt even a fraction of that much magic go into my wings before.”
Applejack smirked and walked up to Rainbow. “Golly, Dash. Remin' me never to ask Fluttershy to teach anyone how ta buck trees. She's such an awesome teacher that Ah'd jus' end up with an orchard fulla matchsticks.”
Rainbow growled. “Look, I get it. But I'd like to point out that I did a sonic rainboom to get up to Mark’s altitude over the Everfree, even if I did have to wait for him to fall down to my flight ceiling. And I did another to get him here to Zecora’s. I knew she had something for altitude sickness.” She looked at me. “So technically, you're the third pony to achieve a sonic rainboom.”
She leaned closer and I could see the concern in her eyes. “My advice? Find out what went wrong before you try to fly again. Seriously, the last pony to get to that height was Nightmare Moon on the way to her all-expense-paid vacation.”
“Thank you for saving me, Dash,” I said with all sincerity. “You are truly awesome.” That seemed to perk her mood up a bit.
I then turned to Twilight with a grin. “Wow. The third to experience a sonic rainboom! Such a momentous achievement in my life and I can't remember one bit of it. I wonder what that's like?”
She smiled. “Well, I think we can rule out brain damage—”
Dash had to get one in. “You mean that wasn't already there!”
Twilight chuckled. “...which is the most troubling side effect of hypoxia, but I still want to do some scans.”
I nodded. “Go right ahead.”
Twilight’s horn lit up. Rather than the usual glow surrounding the target (me) such as with levitation, this time her magic drew a series of arcane scripts in a circular pattern. It then passed around me in a manner reminding me of a CAT scan. The mauve unicorn hummed thoughtfully.
“What’s the news, doc?” I asked.
“Oh. If you weren’t a pegasus, I would say that you should have died, but between your constitution and Zecora’s medication, I don’t think there’s any permanent damage. I’ll have to do some more detailed tests when we get back to my laboratory.”
I gulped. The laboratory that Spike had recommended that I avoid. Hooboy! “Any idea why this happened?”
Twilight shrugged. “Insufficient data for a firm conclusion yet, but my first hypothesis is that you simply panicked. Do you know of the ‘fight or flight’ response?” I nodded. “Well, I have a hunch that you were unnerved when you accelerated upwards much faster than you expected, and you went into the ‘flight’ option, and the further you went up, the harder you got locked into it. You just kept going until you lost consciousness due to hypoxia and the flight magic turned off.”
“But what turned me into a huma… equine rocket?” I asked skeptically.
“We’ll know more after I do my tests,” she replied. Then her smile grew a little too wide. Her twitching eyelid also did little to inspire confidence. “And now I have a great reason to run a series of experiments on you!”
Suddenly, Zecora’s potions didn’t seem so bad. What had I gotten myself into now?
While walking back along the path out of Everfree Forest, I realized how hungry I was. While not as bad as the Sobering Up potion, I had certainly run down my reserves. Since I was at the back of the pack of chatting mares, I looked around for something to snack on. Why not try this small blue flower? It looked just as good as the other flowers that I had been served lately. Sure enough, it tasted great but kind of felt like Pop Rocks once it got to my stomach. I belched loudly.
Applejack looked back over her shoulder. “Ya OK, there pardner?”
I trotted to catch up with a smile. “Yep, fine! Couldn't be better.” Maybe I could ask Spike to whip up a salad when we got to the library.
While the rest of the Elements waited for Fluttershy and visited upstairs, Twilight led me down into the depths of the Basement of Terror. When I asked Spike for a snack, he didn’t respond. He just gave me a very sad look as I headed to my science-y fate. That did not bode well.
Coming to the bottom of the Forbidden Kingdom, it was both exactly what I expected and not-so-much. Like upstairs, hollows in the walls of the room held books, although here the walls were made of dirt and roots. There were science instruments aplenty, most likely powered and operated through magic since there were no power cords anywhere. One somewhat blackened area of the lab held a solid stone lab table complete with flasks containing different liquids. One green bubbling solution in particular was heated by a guttering flame. The sign next to it said in bold letters: “DANGER! DO NOT ALLOW LIQUID TO STOP BOILING!” While I tried to point this out to Twilight, she assured me that everything was fine because she was the one doing the science here. Well, okay then.
“Yeah, you've definitely got the whole 'Mad Scientist's Lab' vibe going on, Twilight. All you need are some mutant animals in cages and a Jacob’s Ladder arcing electricity across its wires and it will be complete.”
The mare's head was down over one of her instruments. “Yep. That's what it’s for, alright.” Hadn't heard me at all.
“Twilight, can we take a break first and get some food? I’m super hungry right now.”
She finally looked up. I had to admit that in her padded lab coat and goggles, she looked absolutely adorkable. Wait. Was she wearing protective gear because she thought I might blow up?
“The sooner we discover the cause of your power surge the better, Mark. I have some theories, but until we know more, there’s the potential for it to happen again. That’s why I asked Rainbow Dash to stay around until we at least have a way to keep you from losing control again.”
I sighed. Hopefully Spike heard what I said earlier and would come down with something soon. “OK, fine. What’s first?”
She beamed. “Science is first! It’s always first!”
Wonderful. I just gave this universe’s biggest nerd the green light to experiment on me.
The purple unicorn turned her head and levitated something out from behind one of the cabinets of equipment. I stood in shock at the sight of what was undoubtedly a hypodermic needle, but it was literally longer than I was!
“Whoa! Whoa! Ease off on the science, lady! I’m not a whale you can drain ten gallons from for a blood test!”
She tittered unnervingly. “Oh, Mark. It only has a five gallon capacity, and, you know – Science!”
I surprised myself by raising my forehooves while backing away balanced on my rear hooves. “Now, now, Twilight! I don’t—YEOWCH!” I felt a sharp sting behind me. I turned to see a much smaller, full hypodermic needle float away from my hindquarters.
“See now? Wasn’t that not so bad?” She levitated the prop back to its original spot while the real McCoy floated over to what was certainly a microscope. “Pinkie Pie gave me that one as a gag gift for Hearthswarming, and it does a great job distracting the test subject.”
I rubbed the sore spot and glowered at her. “I would have given you a sample willingly. Your bedside manner needs a little work, Doctor Sparkle.”
I doubt she heard me. She was very carefully putting a few drops of my blood into a small pipette which she then put under the microscope. A purple field enveloped the sample and a bright lamp lit on the base directly under the pipette. Twilight levitated over a scroll and quill, then began dictating to herself as she stared into the twin eyepieces. “Test Subject: Mark Wells. Blood sample: A. Volume: 0.2 milliliters. Magic Potential Plateau test, trial one. Magic current applied: one micro-thaum per second.”
I moved a bit closer, curious despite myself.
For about two minutes, there was a slowly increasing red glow from the vial. All the while, Twilight frowned. “That just can’t be right. At mark, changing current applied: ten micro-thaums per second… and time mark.”
The glow increased faster. I decided backing up would be the prudent course of action.
After several seconds, she stated, “One hundred micro-thaums per second… and time mark.” Followed soon by, “One milli-thaum per second… time mark.”
The glow from the sample was getting hard to look at. I could only see Twilight by her silhouette.
“Thirty milli-thaums per second… time mark.”
The sample began to rattle audibly. I was getting very concerned. “Twilight, get out of there!”
“One thaum per second…”
I looked around for something sturdy to dive behind. I first saw the stone table but remembered the flask and warning notice on top. I settled for the niche where the giant hypodermic needle was hidden.
“…time mark.”
There was a large explosion followed by the sounds of tinkling glass and various debris landing around the room. When the noise settled down, I peeked out. Twilight’s mane was swept back and one lock was on fire. Her lab coat was much worse for wear but her goggles were intact. For that matter, the microscope looked untouched as well. Sturdy stuff! While I watched, Twilight muttered, “Hmmm,” then looked up from the eyepieces to jot more notes down. The parchment was intact, but only the nub of her quill remained.
I stumbled out from my makeshift bomb shelter and came up to her. “Twilight, are you alright?”
She held up a hoof to stop me while she wrote down what was apparently a very important observation. I took the time to lick the sole of a forehoof and used it to put out the bit of her mane that was still smoldering. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Your mane was on fire.”
She nodded like that was entirely expected and recorded the observation.
“Is everypony alright down there?” I heard Rarity call down the stairs.
“Just doing science on Mark!” yelled back Twilight. “I kind of caught fire for a bit but that was within expected outcome parameters!”
There was silence for a time. Finally, I heard Rarity call back. “You can call it what you like, Darling, but please don’t break the poor stallion.” I then heard the door close again.
This too was jotted down on Twilight’s scroll with a nod from the purple unicorn.
With a sigh, Twilight turned to me, using a hoof to raise her goggles onto her forehead. The raccoon mask created by the soot of the explosion made it hard to take her seriously.
“Do your experiments always end in explosions, Twilight?”
She tossed her head and smiled. “Only on good days. That’s how I know I’m on the right track!”
A slight crinkling sound made me turn my head. The flame that had been sporadically heating the green liquid had been blown out and the flask above it was riddled with cracks. The glass container suddenly failed, expelling the liquid onto the stone table’s surface which it quickly ate through with a release of a bright yellow gas.
“Yellow this time…”
I turned to see Twilight scribbling on a second parchment that appeared out of somewhere. “I was expecting baby blue…” She looked up with a sheepish grin. “Sorry! Multitasking!”
I shook my head. I felt a great deal of sympathy for Spike who must have been roped into the job of lab assistant for years. No wonder he had looked at me with so much pity when I started downstairs. “So the results of your… Something Potential Something test?”
She brightened. “Ah, yes! The Magic Potential Plateau test. I’m afraid you are defective, Mark.”
I blinked. “Excuse me?”
She nodded and walked over to a chalkboard. It pivoted around pins inserted on the middle of both sides, so she rotated to a clean piece of slate. Twilight drew some very crude red circles that I recognized as blood cells.
She continued. “Magical energy is stored in the cells of a pony’s body. For each pony type, the source is different.” The mare then added arrows in white chalk pointed into the cells. “For earth ponies, they get their energy from the ground. For unicorns, from nearby ley lines. For pegasi, from the magical energy carried in the air. Alicorns, obviously, have access to all three.”
Twilight now drew arrows in blue chalk going away from the cells. “Now normally, a pony doesn’t need to store much energy in their cells. The process of drawing magic pulls in replacement energy from the surroundings, and any excess charge from the constant energy draw just leaks out naturally.”
She turned to me and away from the chalkboard. “Now there are two obvious maladies that can happen. First, if the cells don’t have any magic in them or are completely drained of it, they won’t refill. Speculation is that the act of releasing a tiny trickle of magic opens pores that allow the larger ambient background flow to slowly replenish the cells. No magic out, no magic in.”
“The next is your condition.” She erased the blue lines. “On rare occasions, a pony’s cells have trouble releasing energy smoothly, resulting in bursts of extremely strong magic use. Unfortunately, you have the severest form of this. I’m afraid when your body was created, your cells were made without the ability to radiate out excess magic naturally. You can only release the tiny trickle needed to constantly receive a background charge.”
I sat on my rump. I started to see where this was going.
Twilight continued. “When you accessed your flight magic, the amount you had stored was beyond anything any pony has experienced before. When you opened your cells to release magic, your natural regulatory mechanisms were overwhelmed. Your cells spent all of their excess energy propelling you until that reserve was gone. You still have magic left in your cells, but we need to give you an artificial way to help you regulate it.”
She held out a forehoof, her horn glowed, and a boot of some sort appeared. It was tall enough to completely enclose a pony’s foot up to the pastern. “Your condition isn’t common, but like I said, your cells take it to a new level. This hoofshoe will ground out any excess energy your body stores. This one is sized and calibrated for an adult pegasus stallion. You need to wear it at least once per day, even if for just a few minutes.”
She floated it over to me and I tried the boot on a rear hoof. It was adjustable and soon I had the thing fitted well enough. I experienced what felt like a mild electric shock when it touched the ground the first time, but not the second.
Twilight nodded. “That was a discharge you felt. It might be a day or so before you build up enough charge to feel that again.”
I looked down at the floor and considered. “This is a lot to take in. Is there anything else I should know?”
“There are a couple of things. Your cells can store an incredible amount of energy before failing…”
I gulped. “You mean before I explode.”
She nodded. “Yes, exactly that. So it is important to use that shoe regularly.”
That wouldn’t be a problem to remember. I nodded as I took off the boot.
“I’m guessing that is another adaptation or misconstruction from your passage into this world and into your pony form.” She looked at my cutie mark. “Also, you probably want to avoid being repeatedly hit by some types of lightning. I don’t know if that is related to your cutie mark or not, but some storm clouds, such as those coming out of the Everfree Forest, have a large magical component. Those could potentially charge up your cells very quickly. Any other questions for now?”
I shook my head. ”That’s it for that topic. Thank you for helping me, Twilight.”
The purple mare smiled and her horn glowed. The soot fell off her body and her lab coat mended itself. Her mane and tail were still crazy, though. “No problem, Mark. Anything for Friendship!”
I smiled back. “Oh! I actually do have a question .”
Twilight smiled with welcoming eyes.
“Do I have the cells of an alicorn?”
Her smile fell and she chewed her lip for a moment. “I’ll have to say ‘no’ and ‘probably not.’ Why do you ask?”
“Well, since I seem to have this ridiculously large reserve of power, I thought there may be a possibility.”
“I see. I said ‘No’ because your cells only react to pegasus magic. I did a quick test with unicorn and earth pony magic while calibrating your sample. ‘Probably not’ because I don’t know how much magic an alicorn’s cells can contain before they fail. It’s not a well-known fact, but medical information about alicorns is protected at the same level as the most sensitive secrets in Equestria. Extreme measures are taken to ensure no enemy of the state could use that information to endanger their safety. The next time Princess Cadance visits, with your permission, I’ll show her your test results and ask for her opinion, but that’s the best I can do.”
I nodded. That all made sense, even if it probably wouldn’t amount to anything in the long run.
She clapped her hooves. “OK! I know you’re hungry, but I want to do one more test to ensure you are safe to move around upstairs. Got it in you for just one more?”
I sighed. “Just point me where you want me to be.”
In short order, I was standing in an open section in the middle of the room, a silver helmet on my head. The helmet had a random assortment of gems and gadgets hot glued on. A green wire led from it to a console with a printout that Twilight was studying while she pranced in place. A red and a blue wire came out of the console to another piece of equipment upon which my forelegs had been loosely restrained by metal bands. I could swear Twilight was happily singing the word ‘Science’ over and over again.
I glared at her from beneath my chrome dome. “Twilight, this is not a device for measuring magic, it is a colander for straining pasta. Please don’t run placebo trials on me.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she replied, then went back to her private, happy song.
She stepped back, put her goggles on, and a familiar purple glow surrounded me, twice.
“Mark, I have a magic inhibiting shield up now over you, and a shield spell if anything goes wrong. I want you to try to push a little magic into your wings. Don't worry, it's completely safe.”
Safe for her or safe for me? Regardless, I spread my wings cautiously and did as she asked. I felt my stomach gurgle again and heard a loud 'PING!' and suddenly Twilight looked shorter. I belched.
She gasped and stared at me with wide eyes. “What did I do!? I know I should never have changed the poles from plus to minus and from minus to plus! I must have reversed the polarity!”
I frowned, slid my forelegs out of the restraints, took the colander off my head, and looked at it in my hooves – that seemed daintier and were attached to very white forelegs. As I ruffled my wings, I noticed something new – a spiraling horn poking up from my forehead. With a much higher-pitched voice, I said, “Maybe there's something to this whole placebo thing after all.”
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Did he just, randomly turn into Celestia? Weird.
Ah poison joke. The Rod of Wonder flower of the MLP universe.
Also, slightly saddened that at no point did anypony scream “What has science done?!”
Oh wow, didn't expect this.
I wonder if Pinkie had that doozy code of her Pinkie Sense.
Ehh... that's a stretch, try
"I would advise that you calm down, before you bring more harm around."
Well, it works a bit better.
doofus
Almost twelve thousand.
CT scan.
Just be glad it wasn't an MRI.
Profit is the last. It'sa always the last.
hypodermic
That's why you don't romance the crazies Mark, you lose your balls in the weirdest possible way.
I imagine that those are much more (lacking a better term) dense than over here.
9157264
He ATE poison joke on the way to the library.... Something sure happened because of it.
Rarity will likely be amused or confused. Or both.
Interesting chapter, Mark apparently unwittingly became the new bearer of highest flier record, I wonder if that will be recored in the books for new rumors about his to circulate about the mystery that he is. Wonder if there could me even more of a mystery about Mark's new body to it.
Still, I am feel that this story arc is starting to be overstretched as there wasn't any clear aim for what Mark would be doing as it was supposed to just be a milk run that had turned into a side trip visit just hang around the Mane 6 with no real point to it other then having wait for Twilight to become an alicorn in the interim which starting to feel like stalling at the moment.
I am guessing Mark was turned into a female alicorn mainly because he had injected poison joke flower in the Everfree Forest and
Still I wonder his the fact that he was turned into an Alicorn has something to do with Celestia and the mirrors or their explosion in some way? I seeing that he was turned into an apparently white alicorn might let that it is further natural for him to be so radically different form his Pegasus form . Still, the tidbit about his biology being able store a lot of magic is interesting that he might be subject to becoming one if the criteria are right, the foreshadowing about being hit my Everfree weather seems to indicate something will be in store for him if that happen; and hopefully he won't become a mare. Also the new horseshoe that he will have to wear to dissipate the excess magic in his body would probably have to be paired off with at lest a second shoe, walking with just one shoe for us should be indicative as to why. Still I wonder what got him to try to eat a flower from the Everfree in the first place as it wasn't in his previous diet as I was aware and I am not sure that he had the chance to be fully aware what he can or can't eat just yet and just barely started to try out eating as the castle.
yep i was wondering when the poison joke would kick in.
hum mark as a unicorn, we need art work.
a grate chapter.
wait did... did mark just become a lady?
Since it is a bit of obscure Animal Management speak: A "good doer" is a animal (such as a horse) that with normal care produces or develops especially well.
The father of rocketry is Robert H. Goddard -- thus "Good Doer D"
Sundays are normally a day of rest before heading back to work Monday morning. Trixie is going to have a 'conniption fit' when she finds out what's going on with her Grand Vizier. That is, if Mark does go back to work Monday morning...
9157392
Yep, dude looks like a lady
I bet he's simply FABULOUS and will Rarity red with jealously. And then inspired for there's a new Alicorn to make dresses to, so Mark will subject to the only thing worse than SCIENCE! - FASHION!!
Huh. So Mark's cells have a defect that essentially turns him into a walking nuke? And eating Poison Joke caused him to turn into an alicorn?
This is fine.
9157608
Just remember – that was Poison Joke!
9157324
Actually, when they first came out they were called CAT scans. I know, because my cat got very sick and the Veterinary Hospital in Boston was stumped, so they snuck over to the Children's Hospital (which was, like, across the street), and, as the Head of the College told me, "used the CAT scan to scan a cat." They did that with puzzling cases on occasion (late at night when it wasn't in use on other patients), so my cat was not the first. And this was back in the early 1980's.
I see what you did there
TGAPT: "
Sorry, Rainbow Trash. Fart Smells already beat you on that one, too. It was just the other day that he performed a rainbow boom in the Canterlot Castle gardens, breaking your speed record by 20%. And for technical reasons, you're being disqualified for the Unassisted Ground Speed in Level Flight when you did yours...in that you weren't actually at Ground Level when you set your speed record. Zork Sails was. Coincidentally, he swiped Big Mac's Unassisted Plowing Distance and Unassisted Plowing Speed records in the same incident... Here's the proof: 
" camo.derpicdn.net/cc496e966cd8ffb7e727e7e016c4ccb32d01c4b8?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.furry.org.au%2Fchakat%2FPony%2Ffountainfolly.png
Rainbow Dash: "Whu--?
I'm SO going to kill him 
right after I finish laughing my cutie mark off 
"
"
Big Mac: "Eyuup! #MeToo!
You know, this is the Very. First. Post. I actually have a legit reason for using Trixie's* smilies here...
*--instead of using Trixie as a Substitute! For! Luna!
9157376
I'm betting that the Poison Joke's turned him into a copy of Celestia--at least he can now punk TGAPT when he gets back to the Castle!
9157627
I remember getting scanned when i was about ten. I was under the impression that CAT scan was a pun or a joke of some kind. Maybe just easier to say.
(And several MRIs came after that.)
poor Mark, can't cath a break
9157654
CAT Scan (Computerized Axial Tomography)
9157643
Punk her, heck everyone is going to think he IS Celestia! And he'll need TGAPT's help in ruling! The tables have turned.
9157643
Oh that is an interesting theory, I wonder if Twilight might actually think he was Celestia or or will try to get him to impersonate as Celestia, the issue with that is that Mark barely knows anything about Equestrian culture or have any intimate knowledge of it's inner-working of government and lets not forget hat he only knows about about her by second, no third hoof accounts and from Trixie or Twilight and even then that's not mot much to go by and is doomed to failure. I don'T think Mark will appreciate impersonating Celestia or what an alicorn is supposed for that that mater because. He could at least play the role of Sunbutt herself on occasion if ever any question in the confidence of the role of Trixie rule, but that would most likely undermine her authority in the long run. Or he could be coherent to undermined Trixie's position. I wonder how he would feel about seeing advances from stallions.
wow. way to put the "mad" in "mad scientist", Twilight
!
9157692
CT Scan: Computed Tomography Scan
I think we're both right.
That pic🤣 Kinky.
poison joke turning him into celesita that could be useful if they need to bluff celestia back in the future or just troll trixie
also
rarity: i know darling that you always had the hots for celestia but turning mark into her not a good way to live out your fantast darling
twilight: i didn't do it on purpose
everyone else: eyes of doubt
mark : ........
9157692
9157751
The scanning technology used in CAT and MRI are considerably different.
CAT scans use low-intensity X-Rays. MRIs use a mix of powerful electromagnets and radio waves to stimulate the hydrogen in your body.
Only the 3D computing & graphing methods used in them are similar.
9157811
What I was mostly concerned with is that MRIs are much louder and a LOT longer.
9157826
Oh, that's just the hospital hiring a dwarf to randomly bang on the side of a trash can while sitting in the big metal doughnut while the patient is inside the machine--they don't want the patients to fall asleep as they have to stay absolutely perfectly still....
9157864 Needless to say, i always asked for headphones AND earplugs
Then there's what they do at the halfway point.
I think that MAY HAVE influenced the result of those tests a bit, Mark.
9157692
9157751
You are. CAT scan is what they were originally called; somewhere along the way, the "Axial" part was dropped, and they became known as just CT scans.
(Why it got dropped, I'm not sure; "cat scan" is certainly easier to say than "cee tee scan", and it isn't like a CT scan isn't an axial scan anymore...)
You have got to be kidding...
Hehehehe
A wise decision
Rude
aaaawwwwww it ended again
9157811 And then there's SPECT: Single-Photon Emission Computed Tomography
It uses gamma rays, from an administered gamma-emitting isotope.
There's PET: Positron Emission Tomography (detects radioisotopes that emit positrons, such as fluorine-18)
Scintigraphy, which uses a gamma-camera. It's similar to SPECT, but only gives a 2-D image.
Each has advantages for either specific diagnostic or functional assessment of various conditions.
9161417
Dr. Banner's (and Fluttershy's) favorite, naturally
Of course he would eat a poison joke.
This sounds like a perfect time for the "Science Must Continue" song.
#1 The pic seems kinda lewd, but I like it!
#2 This fanfic got a whole lot more interesting.....
He ate Poison Joke.
I have no words for how much this'll come to nip him on his backside
You should have run while you had the chance, Mark.
don't you know? that is likely to set her off. then she might have to use kisses to keep him there. hmm, perhaps running was a good idea.