Chapter 66 - Filly Point of View
I trotted back to our suite after a particularly good session of morning Day Court. On a dare from Penumbra, I stayed in my Marklestia form until my shift ended. The petitioners were unfailingly polite, even when I delivered a decision that didn’t go their way. OK, maybe playing off of the love and respect every pony had for alicorns was a bit manipulative, but I couldn’t knock the results. Of course, that meant I felt honor-bound to do something nice for my bodyguard. Good thing that wasn’t a hard one to figure out. Now I’d just had to find a greengrocer who could import mangoes when they were out of season.
When I reached the entrance of the chambers I shared with my wife, Ebon Flask and Spectral Blade saluted and opened the doors. I nodded to them both and walked inside. As usual, Penumbra stationed herself across the hall from the entrance. I didn’t find Trixie in bed where I had left her this morning, so I went to our bathroom. There I found her standing unsteadily. She was leaning against the wall and a long groan escaped her lips.
I started rubbing gently along her back. I don’t know if all equine pregnancies were like hers, but she was having a particularly hard time. Apparently, morning sickness considered 1 AM to be ‘morning’ and Trixie had woken up feeling awful at that time all week. She had only let me stay up for an hour with her each time, insisting that one of us be well-rested for the sake of Our Little Ponies. Besides, “Trixie has napped during the day and Trixie will be fine for our royal duties tomorrow.” That held true up until today.
After a minute of deep breaths, she opened her eyes and glared at me. “Trix…(gulp)… Trixie is sore displeased with what you have done to her. Trixie no longer has any questions about how you earned your true name, Dark Hells.”
It wouldn’t do me any good to point out that it was her decision to get pregnant, so I just smiled. This was an old argument anyway. It was just Trixie’s way of telling me she was feeling terrible.
I said, “You haven’t had anything to eat or drink yet, have you?”
She shook her head. “Just the thought of…” Her eyes went wide and she leaped to the toilet, making dry heaves. I helped hold her head and rubbed her withers. Not the most glamorous job, but being an expectant father meant you did whatever was needed. Which led me to my next decision.
After Trixie got her breath back, I said. “Dear, you are not going to preside over afternoon court.”
My wife sat up and pushed her mane back into some semblance of order. I retrieved a glass of water and a lathered toothbrush from the cabinet above her sink. After finishing with them, she said, “Non… Nonsense. Trixie lives for her little ponies. Trixie is merely pregnant, not an invalid.”
I returned the items to the marble counter-top. “Never said you were. But we need to make accommodations for both you and Twilight being pregnant. I will not be picking up all of the sessions for both of you, and that means your little ponies will need to be flexible when either or both of you are indisposed. That will officially start today. Instead, I propose we leave early to go see our friends in Ponyville. Full spa treatment. My treat.”
Trixie was nothing if not proud. “You cannot order us so. Need Trixie remind you that she is the senior triarch? Trixie can overcome this with her willpower alone.”
“And stress both your body and that of our foal? No, I’m afraid I’m pulling rank on you. Listen to your coach when he says you are not fit to go into the game this afternoon.”
The blue mare put on a tight frown and lifted her head high while still leaning into my hoof that was rubbing gently along her spine. Yep. She felt awful. Time to play dirty.
“If you don’t follow my… suggestion… I’ll feed you all of the foods you love.”
She furrowed her brow. “But I will just throw them…” Her eyes widened in realization. “You would make Trixie associate them with being sick! They would turn from my favorites into foods Trixie could never…”
She gave me a scowl that by all rights should have made me cringe. Instead, I started rubbing a second hoof on her back to help her relax and feel better.
She sighed. “Very well. But only because it is for the health of our foal.”
“Of course.” I tried not to grin. I really did. Before she could comment on my impertinence, I changed the subject. “I’ll have the portals set up to get us there.”
My wife shook her head. “No. Trixie wants to take the train. It has been too long since we used the Royal Carriage Car and Trixie needs the fresh air… but not as much as we get in the flying carriage.”
I nodded. “Alright. I’ll make the announcement to the remaining petitioners and get everything arranged. Are you going to be good for a walk to the station?”
“Trixie has grown accustomed to enduring this torture you have inflicted upon her. Trixie knows her recovery will be quick.” She demonstrated this by stepping away from me and walking on shaking hooves back into our bedroom. “Simply give us a half-hour to make ourselves presentable.”
That meant a half-hour in bed before starting with any beauty preparations. I’d also have the vis-à-vis carriage waiting just in case she didn’t want to walk. I stood by her side in case she needed help climbing into bed. “As my princess commands.”
“Thank you, Dowser.” She gave me a quick kiss, then followed it with a much longer one. “You take good care of us.” It took me a moment to realize she was not talking in the royal “we.”
I said, “As every husband and future father should.”
“But you are Trixie’s, you see. And I appreciate you more every day.”
She slipped under the covers and her breathing slowed. Silently leaving the room, I decided to take my time making the necessary arrangements.
There were a few advantages of the vis-à-vis carriage. Trixie and I could face each other, which meant she could stretch out on her bench seat. Because there was no canopy, it allowed her to get plenty of fresh air and wave to the ponies as we passed by. Lastly, the suspension was enchanted to provide the smoothest ride possible. My wife was feeling so good by the time we arrived at the train station that her hunger returned with a vengeance. I tried to object to her choice of artisanal hay with pickles and fudge syrup but was informed that the baby knew what it needed and I would have to discuss the matter with her, not Trixie.
Ten minutes into the train ride, either the food choice or the lurching compartment of our train car took their toll on my wife. She didn’t lose her long-overdue breakfast, but suffice it to say Trixie did not enjoy the train ride. Once again, I was called into my duty to provide gentle hugs and back massages.
Putting on a cheery face for the brief carriage ride to Friendship Castle sapped the last bit of strength out of Trixie. When we entered the Great Hall, I was practically carrying my wife.
Fluttershy zoomed to Trixie’s side and literally took the blue mare under her wing. “I’ve got you, dear. Let’s get you in a nice, warm bath. Doesn’t that sound nice?”
Spike yelled, “On it!” and ran out the back entrance. “I’ll get the water to exactly the temperature that Her Highness enjoys!”
The yellow pegasus pulled Trixie away from me so she could support my wife’s weight. Fluttershy said, “Mark, why don’t you help put up decorations?”
On cue, there was a pink blur and I found a coil of flower garland was in my hooves. I said to Trixie, “Are you—”
She interrupted me with a wave of her hoof. “The Great and Pregnant Trixie will be fine, Oligarch Dwells. Spend some time with your friends.” Trixie put an end to the conversation by starting forward. I caught up long enough to give her a kiss on the cheek before flying up to the top of the columns in the room. Belatedly, I flew back down to take off my jacket and shirt. No use getting them dirty or sweaty if I wanted to look my best for the party!
The welcome distraction had me hard at work with Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack; all of us preparing the room for Nyx’s birthday party. The filly and her parents had been at the Crystal Hive since Sunday and were due to return early this evening. All too soon, we were done.
Pinkie treated us to fruit punch then left to finish what she called “the ginormous every flavor cake.” I shuddered. With my luck, I’d get the “rancid guacamole” slice. Even so, maybe it would not be all bad. Perhaps I could get the party mare to point out the “cheesy quesadilla” quadrant so I could politely give that piece to Twilight and enjoy her reaction.
I think the unnatural quiet broke me out of my daydream. Why weren’t my friends talking to each other? Looking around showed that all three were staring at their cups with glum looks on their faces.
I cleared my throat. “OK, what’s up? This is supposed to be a happy occasion.”
Applejack adjusted her Stetson. “Uh, yeah. Well, that would be on account of the CMC breakin’ up.”
I perked my ears forward. “You’re kidding. What happened?”
Rarity said, “I’m afraid we don’t know, darling. They all met up last Saturday and… something happened.”
Rainbow Dash said, “Yeah, it’s like they hate each other’s guts now! None of them will talk to us about it.”
I looked between them. “But they’ll all come to Nyx’s party though?” I got three frowns in return. “Right?”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
Applejack said, “Ah don’t ever recall them bein’ this put out at each other for this long a spell.”
I frowned and put my cup down. “Well, that’s unacceptable. Let me see if I can get to the bottom of this.”
The three mares looked up. They shared the same hopeful expression.
Rarity said, “Would you darling? Perhaps they would talk to someone that isn’t family.”
“And they respect ya a bunch. Maybe they’ll even listen to ya,” said Applejack.
Rainbow Dash opened her wings and disappeared in a streak of rainbow-colored light. When I looked at the two remaining Element Bearers, they were counting out loud. “… six… seven… eight… nine… ten.”
Right on cue, the pegasus mare returned and back-winged to a stop. “Lemme tell you where they’re at…”
# # #
I clomped up the ramp leading to the Cutie Mark Crusaders Headquarters. Gently, I gave the door three raps. From inside, a muffled voice called out “Go away!”
“But I need your help!” After changing to my pegacorn form, I said, “I can’t figure out if I’m a Prince or Princess!”
The door opened and Sweetie Belle practically flew into my chest with a huge hug. I wrapped my wings around her and hugged back. After several seconds, the filly pulled back and attempted to hide that she was wiping away tears. She sniffed and tried to act all casual. “Oh hey, Mark. It’s great to see you.”
I smiled. “It’s great to see you too, Sweetie Belle. Would you mind if I come in?”
She looked up into my eyes. After a few seconds, she smirked. “Not unless you can teleport inside. Apple Bloom… we made the door a bit too small for ancient alicorns… or their knockoffs.”
I hammed it up with a hoof over my heart and an exaggerated gasp. That got me a chuckle and a wider smile. I switched back to my pegasus form. “How about now?”
The unicorn filly turned around and disappeared through the door. “Duck.”
I had to do more than just lower my head, but eventually, I squeezed my way inside. We sat cross-legged on the floor while I studied the walls. This was my first time inside the Temple of Cutie Mark Expertise. Dozens of pieces of paper were tacked to the walls, each containing ten or more crossed-out symbols of different professions, hobbies, interests, and… things. If it was a noun or verb, there was a good chance it was represented here. I had an inkling of how much dedication that the three fillies’ had put into finding their cutie marks and special talents, but being here reinforced how much time, effort, and property damage had been poured into their quest.
A sigh brought my attention back to Sweetie Belle. She was looking down at the wooden plank floor. “You wanna talk to me about what happened on Saturday with those two jerks, huh?”
I nodded. The young mare fidgeted a bit. I said, “Would you tell me, please? I promise not to judge.”
She hesitated then shook her head.
“Would it help if I Pinkie-Promised not to talk about it without your permission?”
Sweetie paused a little longer. “I… no. Not now. Maybe later.”
Time to approach the problem differently. “Sweetie Belle, you know I have the best interests of all three of you at heart. Let me help you fillies work through this.”
The unicorn filly flattened her ears against her head and slumped a bit. After waiting as long as I dared, I decided to try something else. “What about if we trade favors? You tell me what happened, and I do you a favor as Prince or Princess of Equestria.”
That got her to come out of her shell. Her ears perked forward and her eyes glistened. “Really? Anything I want?”
I shrugged. “As long as it doesn’t interfere with my personal commitments and my oath to serve my little ponies.”
“Oh, ah… well… there is one thing?” She looked up with questioning eyes.
I smiled and nodded, encouraging her to continue.
“Would you let me see Celestia’s secret room in Canterlot Castle?”
I froze a bit. “That’s supposed to be a state secret. How did you find out, and have you told anypony else?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t told anypony. I just figured it out. My sister talks in her sleep sometimes. A couple of months ago, she yelled out ‘the most magnificent secret! And you kept it hidden for so long!’”
The filly pulled out a thick stack of papers from a desk drawer. “All I had to do was stay up a couple of hours later each night and take notes. Six weeks ago, she said ‘secret entrance in Trixie’s chambers’. Two weeks ago, she said ‘carved out centuries ago by the Royal Sisters.’ Then on Thursday night, she said ‘Celestia’s private collection’.” She looked up. “So was I right?”
I had to curl up as tightly as I could, but there was just enough room below the ceiling for me to take on my Marklestia form. “Two things. Let’s take care of the important one first.” I levitated the stack of paper out of her hooves and floated it between us. I grabbed either side of the stack with my magic and started tearing.
At her shocked look, I said, “What you did was a very serious breach of your sister’s privacy. Pony’s show their most personal and intimate sides in their dreams. Things they never share with anypony. You were eavesdropping when Rarity was the most vulnerable.”
Sweetie Belle’s ears and nose sagged. “Oh. I didn’t…” After a bit, I got the puppy-dog-eyes treatment turned up to eleven. “You aren’t going to tell her, are you?”
Good thing my pegacorn form had a bit of immunity built-in. I frowned. “I won’t have to. You are going to apologize to her yourself.” The filly wiped tears away from her eyes for a minute or so, then she nodded.
“And yes, I can take you to Celestia’s secret chamber but only if you Pinkie Promise not to talk about it with anypony but the very few who are in on the secret. The same goes for the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
She gasped. “Really? My friends too?”
That was a good sign. She was referring to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo as her friends again. I nodded. “Trying to keep something like this a secret between such close friends would be torture. I couldn’t do that to you.”
Sweetie started dancing on her tippy-hooves with a huge, beaming smile on her face. “We get to go! We get to go!” She jumped forward and threw her forelegs around my neck. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I had to try a couple of times to get a wing free without knocking something over, but I was able to hug her back.
After a while, she shifted so she was nestled along my side with her front hooves holding my wing like an oversized blanket. The filly wiped her tears away again, but this time she was smiling.
“Well, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and I planned to meet up at the pier on Percheron Lake at noon on Saturday…”
~ ~ ~
I galloped up the wooden planks on the pier. I wrapped Apple Bloom up in a hug, both of us giggling like mad. Before we could really say anything, Scoots zoomed up on her kick scooter. She flipped the kickstand down, put her helmet on the handlebars, and swaggered her way over to us with her cheeky grin.
We all shared a hoof bump then Scootaloo’s smile slipped. “Where’s Nyx?”
Apple Bloom said, “Her mom was feeling right bad ‘bout ignorin’ her, so they’re spendin’ the day together.”
Scoots smiled a bit wickedly. “Too bad. She’s gonna miss out on all the fun.” My friend grabbed three buckets from the back of her scooter and returned. After setting them about ten feet apart in a triangle, she waved us over, indicating who should be by which bucket.
I trotted up to mine and looked at the red, yellow, green, and blue bags inside. “Water balloons? I suppose we could get into a water balloon fight…” I looked up at her with narrowed eyes and put some magic in my horn. I saw my light green aura on the edges of my vision. “…or I could just push you into the lake.”
Scootaloo ignored me and talked to Apple Bloom. “We could pelt each other, but I’d rather share them in town with ponies who look thirsty.”
Apple Bloom frowned. “I dunno, Scoots. Don’t ya think we’re gettin’ a mite bit old fer doin’ that?”
Scootaloo trotted up to her aggressively. “No. It’s called having fun. You haven’t forgotten ‘fun’ have you?”
The farm filly raised her forehoofs as if to ward off an attack. “Ah’m just sayin’ that adults aren’t as forgivin’ as they used ta be fer our antics. No reason why we cain’t hunt out Diamond Tiara, though.”
I came up beside Apple Bloom and said, “What’s up with her anyway? First she saves the school playground and we’re all buddy-buddy. Then she’s back to calling us names and laughing it off as a joke.”
“Don’t rightly know. All Ah know is that this week she was callin’ me ‘Pineapple Gloom, the entombed zombie nopony should assume to exhume’.”
Scootaloo snorted and tried to hide her smirk.
I said, “You have to admit that’s kinda funny.”
“No Ah do not!”
Scoots rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. So what did you two bring?”
I opened my mouth to speak but Apple Bloom cut me off. “Granny’s apple fritters... and some wine for our whiner.” She pointed both forehooves at Scootaloo. Apple Bloom also gave me a knowing glance while nodding her head into Scootaloo hard enough to almost knock her over. Yeah, pretty sure she was talking about Scoots. Typical earth pony subtlety.
“Huh. OK. What do you think, Scoots?”
My pegasus friend looked up. “Mmmm… I think we should get started doing whatever we’re gonna do.” She smirked. “I’m just getting older over here. And old people are boring.”
Apple Bloom said, “Ya mean like how Rainbow Dash is boring?”
“Yes.” Scoots’ eyes went wide. “I mean no!”
I said, “She’s got to be… what… over twenty. That sounds pretty old to me.”
My friend stammered. “It’s not… I mean… Rainbow is the exception! She’ll always be cool! Even when she’s a hundred years old she’ll be cooler than you!”
I rolled my eyes and smacked my lips. “Yeah, OK. Whatever you say.”
That earned me a frown. Scootaloo said, “OK, so what’d you bring?”
I tried to act all relaxed and cool. “Oh, nothing important.” I lifted the cover of my left saddlebag to show off a very old book. It was half-a-hoof thick and I could see some pink color on the spine. “Just the diary of Endless Laughter—a filly about our age from the Crystal Empire. She lived there before the time of Sombra.”
Apple Bloom pulled her lips to the side for a second. “OK, Ah’ll bite. What’s so darn cool about her?”
I let the saddlebag cover drop back down so I could wave that hoof. “Well first, she was the daughter of a minor noble family and had to put up with rich and snooty classmates, just like us.”
“And?” challenged Scootaloo after giving me a fake yawn.
“Sooooo, she outwitted her rivals at every turn… and me too.”
“Whatcha mean?” asked Scootaloo.
“The Hearts and Hoofs Day School Dance is coming up, right? On Monday I’m gonna ask Button Mash to be my date.”
“Ick!” shouted Scootaloo. “The colt who mashed a grasshopper in your mane?”
I yelled right back. “That was years ago! He said he just wanted to show it to me and tripped!”
Scoots snarked, “Oh, I’m sure he said that. He’s not good enough for ya. No good at hoofball, paddleball, hopscotch…”
“Yeah, but he crushes you at chess and checkers. And does he whine and moan when you beat him at ball games like Snips or Snails do? Or does he keep trying?”
Scootaloo frowned and fluttered her wings. “I… I guess he’s not all bad.”
Apple Bloom scoffed. “That don’t matter none. Diamond Tiara’s gonna get wind of it and ask him first—not ’cause she likes him. She jus’ don’t want ya ta get anythin’ or any colt ya want.”
I closed my eyes and waved a hoof. “Endless Laughter and I took care of that.” Both of my friends perked their ears forward. I smirked. “I let Silver Spoon overhear me confiding to Peachy Pie that I was going to ask Caramel.”
My friends chorused, “Oooooooooo.”
“Sneaky,” said Apple Bloom. “OK, Ah wanna hear the other tricks that filly got up ta. How about it, Scoots?”
“Mmmm. I guess. But we always go together, just the three of us. Why do you wanna mess that up? We always have more fun than you can with any dumb colt.”
I shrugged, “I dunno, I just wanna do something different.”
Apple Bloom turned to face Scootaloo. “She’s gotta point. We three are always the ones tryin’ somethin’ different.”
Scoots crossed her forelegs. “That was before we got our cutie marks.”
“So? Why stop havin’ fun tryin’ new stuff now?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not saying that. I’m just saying we always put our friendship first, right? Always!” She gave us an excited smile and put a hoof over her heart. “I’m ready to Pinkie Promise that I’ll always put you guys first. How about it? You two game?”
Apple Bloom scrunched her muzzle. “Mmmmmm…”
I frowned but didn’t say anything.
“What?” asked Scootaloo.
The farm filly sighed. “Ah figure Ah’ll be getting married someday. And Ah’ll have foals a mah own.”
I agreed with Apple Bloom. “So no. I won’t make that promise either. Who knows what will happen to us in ten years? Would you give up being in the Wonderbolts to stay in Ponyville just because of that promise?”
Scootaloo frowned and looked away. “I can’t believe you guys.”
I jogged up to my friend and out of the corner of my eye saw Apple Bloom do the same. “Hey! Don’t be all grumpy! I’ll Pinkie Promise that we’ll always be friends. OK?”
My pegasus friend snorted. “I already know that. That’s never gonna change no matter what.”
We all shared a grin and we each brought up our right forelegs together to share a hoof bump. Recognizing when to do so was so automatic that we never had to worry about our timing.
Trust Scoots to break up the cool moment because she was so impatient. “So what’s first?”
Apple Bloom said, “Well, Ah don’t rightly know about ya two, but Ah’m all sweaty from my mornin’ chores.”
I said, “My big sis tells me a true lady doesn’t sweat, she perspires.” If I do say so, my imitation of Rarity’s voice and hair flip was pretty good by now.
Apple Bloom said, “Well, this lady don’t perspire, she sweats! And Ah know Scoots agrees with me ‘cause she always smells worse than any colt Ah know when she gets herself back from playin’ in the playground.”
Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. “Maybe I’ll keep all three of the buckets and throw all of them at your head, farm pony.”
I laughed. “Well, she’s right.” That got Scootaloo’s death glare to change targets. “Come on, Scoots. It’s a hot day and I’ve got a volleyball. We can splash and dive around in the shallows, trying to keep the ball up as long as we can. Aren’t you hot?”
She shook her head. “Nope. I spent the morning inside doing homework.”
Apple Bloom and I rushed up until our noses were only an inch away from Scootaloo’s. My earth pony friend said, “I thought ya said ya done chores this mornin’. Who are ya and whatcha done with our friend?”
I tried to sound just as serious but couldn’t help the smile from taking over my face. “Yeah! Fess up! You’re Thorax, aren’t you?”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes again. “No, I’m not. My aunt forced me to get that done too before I could meet up with you guys.”
Apple Bloom gave her a mock glare. “So ya say. What would the real Scoots say if she got hit in the head with a water balloon?”
She turned quickly to snarl at her friend. “I’d say you’d better think twice before… wait…”
My horn lit up the moment Scootaloo’s attention was on Apple Bloom. I used my magic to lift a blue balloon from the bucket directly behind Scoots and sent the projectile into the back of her head. Globs of the shattered restraining field and water splashed everywhere. Unfortunately, quite a bit got on me and Apple Bloom.
All three of us retreated to our buckets and the fight started. We laughed and squealed like little foals for the next few minutes until all the water balloons were used up. Thanks to my magic protecting me, I barely got wet at all. Most of my tosses were right on target, too.
I panted until I got my voice back. “All done? Everypony out of balloons? You were right, Scoots. That was fun.”
Scootaloo sat down and put on the fakest shocked look ever. “It was? Really, that was fun?” Her face took on a sinister smile as she lifted the flaps on her saddlebags with both forehooves. “Good thing I brought more… just for me.”
Apple Bloom jumped between us and pointed her hoof. “Now that there’s just not fair, Scoots! Either ya share those with both of us…” She slammed one forehoof into the other with a loud crack. “… or we all see how far ya can fly upside down.”
I walked up behind Apple Bloom, staying out of her sight. From there, I stuck my tongue out at my pegasus friend.
Scootaloo hesitated then brought her forehooves back forward—empty. “OK, fine. I’ll refill the buckets, but I’m not going so easy on you two next time.”
While she did so, Apple Bloom turned to me. “Cooled off a mite now, Sweets?”
“Yep. Maybe it’s time for one of those apple snacks?”
“Well, ya never have ta ask me twice on that one.” She opened a saddlebag and pulled out a fritter. The fritter shot away when a water balloon hit it out of her hoof. “Hey!”
Apple Bloom glared at Scootaloo, just looking up from refilling her bucket. “What?”
“Why’d ya do that?”
Scootaloo stood up straighter. “Do what?”
“Ya done ruined one a Granny’s fritters with a water balloon, that’s what!”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, ya did!”
Scootaloo lowered her head and growled, “You calling me a liar? I don’t even like apple fritters.”
I jumped between the two. “Whoa, whoa! Everypony take a breath now. Calm down.”
Apple Bloom said, “Ya saw her throw it, right?”
I shook my head. “Nope. Sorry. Wasn’t looking her way. I would like a fritter, though. Please.”
Apple Bloom gave another dark glare at a sputtering Scootaloo before reaching into her saddlebag and pulling out one of the treats for me.
After I had it, I said, “Thanks, Bloom Baby.”
Her glare turned to me. “Dontcha go calling me that.”
“OK, Apple Zits.”
“Scoots, gimme one of them there buckets of balloons.”
I laughed and held up my forehooves. “Sorry! Sorry! I said I’m sorry!”
Apple Bloom eyed me suspiciously before snorting.
I smiled and pulled the ancient diary out of my saddlebags with my unoccupied hoof and started leafing through it. “Anyway, there’s an entry in here that I bookmarked. I know you both are gonna—” Anything else I was going to say was cut off by a water balloon that hit me in the face and blew up. If that wasn’t bad enough, I heard giggling from in front of me.
I yelled at Apple Bloom. “Hey! That hurt!”
She tried to play dumb. “What hurt?”
“And you got the book wet! It’s over a thousand years old!”
Scootaloo laughed. “What’s the big deal? Twilight puts a billion spells on the books to keep ‘em safe. Stop being so sensitive.”
I ground my teeth. Apple Bloom said, “Ah didn’t throw nuthin’ at ya, and Ah mean it.”
“So I’m just imagining that I heard you chuckling after?”
Before she could answer, Scoots cut in. “She’s got you there, Apple Doom. I heard you, too.”
Apple Bloom slammed her hooves into the ground. “If ya two would stop and listen for a minute, Ah’m sayin’ Ah was gettin’ me this here fritter!”
Scootaloo said, “While your other hoof was…” She looked at her friend expectantly. Apple Bloom’s ears were flattened down to her skull and she was scowling.
I sighed and looked down at the diary. I hoped Scoots was right about the protection spells. If not, first my sister then Twilight would yell my ears off for ruining the book I checked out of the library.
I saw a blue flash and then heard Scootaloo gasp. “Dang it, Sweets! I’m on your side! What was that for?”
I looked up to see Scootaloo’s face dripping wet. I looked down at the bucket by my side. “But… I didn’t…”
My friend turned around and walked towards her scooter. “I’ve had enough of both of you losers. Good-bye!” With a buzz of her wings, she was gone. I knew she was upset because she didn’t even put her helmet on.
I heard Apple Bloom cantering away. “Yeah, Ah think Ah’m done with you two also. And stop callin’ me a liar. Come back when yer willin’ to ‘pologize.”
I didn’t say anything to my retreating friend. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what happened.
I found Apple Bloom where Dash said she would be. She was sitting on the pier where everything had gone to Tartarus a week ago. It wasn’t hard to figure out from her body language that she was missing her friends terribly.
I turned back into my pegasus form and called out, “You don’t know how it all went so wrong, do you?”
The young earth pony gave me a glare before turning back to stare down into the water. “Sure don’t. Did mah sister send ya? Ah don’t wanna talk about it.”
I sat down next to her and likewise looked out into the water. “Actually, I think all of the Element Bearers want me to help. Well, I haven’t exactly talked to Twilight this week but it’s a pretty safe bet that she would.” I decided to not waste time. “I’ll tell you what. If you do me a big favor by telling me what happened, I’ll do you a big favor in return.”
The filly looked straight at me. “What kinda favor?”
I shrugged. “What kind of favor would you like?”
Apple Bloom’s eyes narrowed and she tapped her chin with a hoof. Her ears were pointed forward, showing her mood was much better already.
After a minute, she said, “OK, but ya gotta do my favor first.” I waved a hoof for her to continue. “The girls and Thorax and Ah kinda… lost Applejack’s canoe ‘bout a year ago.”
“Where, exactly?”
“Well, it’s stuck on the bottom, right over there.” She pointed with a hoof toward the center of the lake. The filly hesitated and moved her hoof to the left. “Maybe over thataway.” Then to the right. “Or was it thataway?”
I blinked. “The canoe is made out of wood, right? Isn’t wood supposed to float? I’m afraid to ask, but why did it sink?”
“Ah, yeah. That would be ’cause of the bloop.”
“The what?”
Apple Bloom waved her forehooves. “Ya know, the bloop! That’s the sound a rock makes when it hits the water. Scoots had the idea that if we got a big enough rock and hauled it out ta the center, she would toss it overboard and… BLOOP!”
I processed that for a while. “You fillies seriously tried to get your cutie marks in ‘blooping’?”
She smiled. “Hey, it made plenty a’ sense at the time. We’d already tried near everythin’ else!”
I couldn’t really fault their logic, such as it was. No wonder the CMC had won Discord’s ‘Favorite Chaos Makers – Group Act’ award twelve months in a row. I had seen the statuette in their clubhouse. “So what happened?”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Weren’t ya listening? Ah already told ya that ya’d have ta do me the favor first.”
“I meant ‘what happened to the canoe?’ ”
“Oh. Well, the rock took all four of us ta load inta the canoe. It was ridin’ mighty low in the water but we got it out ta the middle. Just when Scoots tried ta lift it, the canoe tipped a tad and filled with water lickitly split. Oh, and ya cain’t be blabbin’ ta my sister or nopony else ’bout this.”
“Got it. Just point me to where you think the canoe might be.”
One of the few areas where my pegasus body was superior to my pegacorn form was in the water. Especially after the struggles I had windsurfing during our honeymoon, I had learned not to fight it. An hour of diving later, I found the sunken canoe. After the rock was rolled out by brute strength, the canoe popped up back to the surface like a cork with me sprawled inside from the unexpected ‘up periscope’ ascent.
Once the canoe was on the shore and turned upside down to drain, Apple Bloom related her version of events.
~ ~ ~
Ah got ta the pier right at noon, like Ah was supposed ta. Even woke up early ta make sure Ah got the pigs run through the whole South Orchard ta clean up all the dropped apples. Maybe Ah shouldn’t a bothered with mah always tardy friends. Ah had ta wait fer maybe half an hour ’fore they bothered ta show up ’round the same time. Still, Ah didn’t hold nothin’ against ’em and hugged ’em both.
Sweetie said, “Scoots, it’s great ta see ya.”
My pegasus friend poked her with a hoof and said, “Ah’m always late, but ya done got no excuse. Yer actually Thorax, aintcha?”
Sweetie belted out part of a song in that unmistakable singin’ voice of hers. That still didn’t convince Scoots. “Not bad, Thorax, but yer not foolin’ me. Whadya do with our friend?”
Sweetie gave one of those meat-eater grins that she saves jus’ for folk that get her annoyed. “Would Thorax know ‘bout yer favorite kind a’ underwear we saw in that big fancy store in Canterlot? Ya know, the one ya was droolin’ over? With the red ribbons and—”
Scoots jumped inta another hug ta shut her up. “It’s good ta see ya, Sweets!”
Ah shared a nod and a wink with Sweetie over Scootaloo’s shoulder. Ah’d hear the rest of that story later. Ah then got mah friend’s attention. “So why are ya late this time, Scoots?”
She dropped out of the hug and turned ta face me. “Ah was supposed ta get done with all mah chores and homework, but only got ’bout half done ’fore mah Aunt finally lemme go.”
Ah just nodded then both of us looked at Sweetie Belle. She pushed her mane up with a hoof, blinked her eyes and declared, “Ah was re-jahoovinatin’ myself. Gettin’ me some beauty sleep.”
“Sleep harder!” both Scoots and Ah said together. We giggled and high-hooved. Ah heard Sweetie giggle too, but she was frownin’ when Ah looked back.
She said, “Jus’ fer that, maybe Ah won’t be readin’ ta ya from the diary of Endless Chuckles.”
“An who’s that supposed ta be?” asked Scoots.
“Jus’ a super-smart filly our age who was the Queen of Pranks back in the day.”
“OK, Ah’d like ta hear that. How ‘bout it, Scoots?”
“Mmmmm… nah.” Then Ah saw her look up at Sweetie’s face. Ma unicorn friend looked mighty disappointed. Scoots stammered out, “Uhhh… maybe later.” Nice save, dumb-flank. Scoots looked at me ta change the subject. “OK, so what didya bring?”
“Granny’s apple fritters.”
“Aaaaaand?” asked Scoots.
Ah rolled my eyes. “And a bit of zap apple wine that Red Delicious didn’t finish when he visited.”
“Yes!” my pegasus friend shouted with a hoof pump.
Sweetie shrugged. “What’s the big deal? My sis lets me taste her wine sometimes.”
Scoots narrowed her eyes. “The big deal is that this is zap apple wine, which is like, super ’spensive. Right, Apple Bloom?”
Ah nodded. “Forty bits a bottle for last year’s late squeezin’ like this here bottle. The early squeezin’ goes for right near a hun’red.”
Sweetie smirked. “So Red Delicious ain’t worth wastin’ a bottle of early sqeezin’?”
“Well, he’s family… so no.”
Ma friends got a chuckle out of that. Sweets asked, “How come ya know so much about the price of every bottle?”
“’Cause Ah figure Ah’ll be takin’ over the farm eventually. Ah need ta know all there is about every product we make, from applesauce ta zap apple brandy.”
Ma unicorn friend tilted her head. “Howdya figure that? Applejack ain’t gonna retire or nothin’, is she?”
“Nope. But she gets pulled every which way as the Element of Honesty and that’s only gonna get worse. Soon, Ah’ll need ta step in whenever and do whatever.”
“What about Big Mac?”
“He can run the farm but he don’t want ta run it. Not somethin’ he likes doin’. Which is fine by me.”
Sweets tapped her chin with a hoof. “Huh. OK. What do ya think, Scoots?”
Rather than say anythin’, Scoots trotted back ta her scooter and hoofed over a bucket ta each of us. “Ya guys ready? Set, Go!” ‘Efore Ah could even say one word crosswise, Ah was duckin’ out of the way of somethin’ green Scoots threw at me. Ah reached inta the bucket as Ah skittered back and away. Ah grabbed whatever it was on top and tossed it at mah pegasus friend. It was a red water balloon and it hit her right on the cutie mark!
A bit later, all of us was out a balloons. Ah wasn’t all that wet, least compared ta mah two friends, though Scoots and Ah teamed up a bit on Sweetie and her cheater shield and tele-ka-whatsis.
Sweetie and Ah had happy smiles but Scoots had a mean one. “Yer all out? Good. ‘Cause Ah’m not.”
Ah jumped between Scoots and Sweetie. “Ya better think that over real careful, young lady.” Ah slammed my hoof inta the ground hard enuf ta make a rock break. It was shale, but ya know, Ah didn’t need ta tell Scoots that. Ah heard Sweetie giggle from a ways behind me then she was right behind mah shoulder, quick as a wink.
Scoots frowned at both of us. “Alright. Ah’ll refill yer buckets with balloons, but Ah’m keepin’ the roundest ones for me.”
Ah just nodded and went back over ta mah bucket while Sweets did the same. Ah heard her call out, “Kin Ah get one of them fritters, please?”
“Sure can!” Ah reached inta my saddlebag and pulled one out, only ta see a purple blur headin’ mah way. It hit my hoof and the desert was knocked away.
Ah turned and yelled the direction the water balloon came from. “Hey! What’s the big idea!”
Scoots looked up from her bucket. She sneered at me and waited too long ta answer. “What?”
“Whydya go ruinin’ one a Granny’s fritters?”
She started ta smirk but then stopped. Sarcastically, she said, “Now why would Ah do that? Ah plumb hate ‘em anyway.”
“S’not funny, Scoots! Ah’m not laughin’!”
She was grinning openly now. “Snot isn’t funny? Pretty sure it is.”
Ah think Sweetie Belle jus’ didn’t want us fightin’. “Kin Ah have another, please?”
Keepin’ mah eyes on Scoots the whole time, Ah pulled out one more. Out of the corner of mah eye, Ah saw it float away in Sweetie’s green aura.
Ah was still starin’ at the pegasus when Ah heard somethin’ and Sweetie yelled at me. “Hey! This book is ancient! Ah’ll get my hide tanned if it gets ruined.”
Ah heard Scoots giggle as Ah turned ta face Sweetie. “What?” She was all wet, includin’ the fritter and what must be the diary she was talkin’ ‘bout earlier.
“Ya was laughin’ at me!”
Ah narrowed mah eyes. “Ah was not! And Ah didn’t throw no balloon at ya neither.”
“Yer a no-good rotten liar,’’ said Scoots.
Ah yelled at her. “Don’t ya ever call me that! And Ah’d never go ruinin’ one of Granny’s fritters, neither.”
Ma pegasus friend said, “Pretty neat, Pineapple Gloom. Been takin’ sleight-of-hoof lessons from Miss Trixie?”
Ah was about ta say more when Ah saw a bluish-green flash from my right, where Sweetie was at. Ah wasn’t displeased ta see a water balloon smash onta Scoots’ cheek and burst.
Scoots said, “Dang it all, Sweetie Belle! That hurt!”
Ah shrugged. “Might be that she knew ya deserved it.”
She glared at me but Sweetie didn’t say anything ta contradict what Ah’d said.
Scootaloo yelled, “That’s it! Ah’m done with both of y’all!” She galloped ta her scooter and was gone in seconds.
Ah figured Ah’d had mah fill, too. Ah cantered back ta Sweet Apple Acres without another word.
I found Scootaloo’s beat-up scooter at the base of the tallest tree in the park just north of the Ponyville Schoolhouse. There was rustling from somewhere in the canopy, but I couldn’t see anypony.
I called up, “Hey, Scootaloo!”
The noises stopped for a moment. “Hey what?”
“Hey, this is Mark Wells. Can you come down so we can talk?”
“’Bout what?”
“About what happened at the lakeshore last Saturday with your friends.”
“No way. Not interested. Too busy.” The sounds of movement resumed overhead.
I sighed. “I really would appreciate it if you would come down so I could talk to you face-to-face.”
“Then fly up here. Nopony is stopping you. Besides, anything you want to say can be said to my—”
That’s when I heard a loud snap and the pegasus filly yelled out “Whoa!”
As soon as I saw her body falling through the branches, I switched to my pegacorn form and threw a shield spell around her. It was a new one Twilight insisted I learn before becoming a father.
The sphere surrounding the filly hit the ground. A shower of small branches and leaves followed. Scootaloo opened one eye experimentally. “Why didn’t I feel that?”
I dissipated the shield and Scootaloo returned to all fours on the ground. “Because I threw a Foal’s Fall shield spell on you. All the kinetic energy is absorbed by the shield.”
She got a wicked grin. “That is so awesome! I want to get to the top of the tree and try again!”
I shook my head. “Not happening. And I still want to hear your side of the story.” Would she take the hint?
Her smile got even wider. “Tell ya what. I’ll tell you what happened for you protecting me on ten drops from the top of the tree.”
“Ten?!” I exclaimed in mock surprise. “More like one more from halfway up. You already got one so that makes two.”
“Nuh-uh. That was a freebie because you’re such a nice stallion. Three drops from medium and three from on top.”
I narrowed my eyes. Apparently, bartering was second nature to this filly. She had learned well from her mentor. “One from the same spot, one from three-quarters up, and one from the top. The height goes up only if I think I can handle the jump in magic drain.”
“Deal!” Scootaloo spat on the frog of a forehoof and extended it. I smiled and repeated the gesture, saliva and all.
Ten nerve-wracking minutes later that would not be spoken of ever again, Scootaloo started on her version of events.
“Well, first of all, you need to know that I spent all morning hard at work doing my chores and homework. When my aunt finally said I was done for the day, I spent at least thirty minutes making water balloons for the CMC get-together. Even after all that hard work, I got there on time… OK, maybe a few minutes late, but Apple Bloom got there just after me, so I don’t feel too bad…”
# # #
I bounded off my scooter and put on my biggest smile. My two friends met me where the pier started at the shoreline. Sweetie narrowed her eyes and poked me with a hoof. “Who are you and what did you do to Scootaloo?”
“Whadya mean?”
“The filly I know is always fashionably late. What did you do to the real Scootaloo?”
I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “Yeah, I don’t think so. Zero percent changeling. I’m soooo sorry to disappoint you.”
Sweets wouldn’t let it go. “That’s exactly what I’d expect Thorax to say!”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, clearly on my side. “Come on, Sweetie Belle—”
Sweetie Belle waved a hoof to cut her off. “No, listen! Do you know how long it’s been since Thorax pranked us? He used to hang out all the time and this is just like something he would do.” She faced me and folded her forelegs across her chest. “OK, so-called-Scootaloo. Prove to me that you aren’t Thorax pranking us.”
I grinned and tossed my helmet behind me. Only after it was airborne did I look back. My helmet sailed twenty feet or so and landed on the scooter’s handlebar. The helmet spun a bit but stayed on.
Turning back, I saw Apple Bloom gave our unicorn doubter a raised eyebrow and the corners of her mouth pulled up. “So are ya satisfied, sugarcube?”
She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Mmmmm…. Good enough for now. How ya doin’, Scoots?” She practically tackled me with a hug which I returned. I felt Apple Bloom glomp in from the side to give her hug on top of ours.
I said, “Good. I got my chores done this morning. Now I’m ready to have some fun!”
Sweetie pulled back and held me at foreleg’s length. “OK. Now I know you’re not Scootaloo.”
I chuckled. “Yeah? Tell me about it. My aunt forced me to. Worth it to get together with my posse again. Hold on a sec.”
I trotted back to my scooter and unstrapped the three buckets I had there. Coming back to my friends, I gave them each one. “Let’s start our fun with a bang… or a burst, I guess.”
Sweetie sighed. “Really? Do we have to?”
Don’t know why she was in such a bad mood. “Yeah, we do. It’s a hot day and it’ll be fun. I promise!”
“Ah figure Ah could use a bit of high-speed bathin’ myself,” said Apple Bloom. “C’mon, Sweets.”
My unicorn friend pulled her lips to the side, obviously uncertain. I started backing up. “Look, I’ll let you get the first shot.” Of course, I didn’t say anything about letting it land on me.
Sweetie’s green magic field lifted a big, round yellow water balloon. I could see the ripples in the magic skin surrounding the water as my friend bounced it up and down, getting a feel for its weight.
I sat on my haunches so I could wave both forehooves high in the air. “Any day now, Sweetie! I’m not getting any younger, ya know.” I lifted my rump off the ground a bit so I could leap sideways when the moment came. “I said you could have the first shot!”
She arched an eyebrow at me. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
I smiled and waved for her to bring it. “Born ready!”
That’s when a different water balloon slammed into Sweetie’s side. I barely heard Apple Bloom’s giggle right after Sweetie Belle’s gasp. What made it worse for her was that my unicorn friend instinctively jumped to the left just as her magic cut out. I guess she forgot she had been levitating her own water balloon which fell on her head and broke.
“It’s on!” I yelled and picked up a couple of balloons and threw them at Apple Bloom. She dodged one but the other hit her cutie mark dead center. Direct hit!
After I don’t know how long, we had all run out of balloons. Naturally, I had scored the most hits and been hit the least in return. I was just too quick and athletic for them to match up with me. When I asked if my friends wanted me to refill their buckets with the ones in my saddlebags, they both happily nodded their heads.
I was pouring out the last of the water balloons into my bucket when I felt a balloon hit my neck and burst. I stood back up. “Hey! I wasn’t ready!”
Apple Bloom snorted. “What happened to ya bein’ born ready and all that?” When my attention was on her, I saw a blue flash way off to my left. I tried to duck but it was too late. The balloon from Sweetie Belle hit me in the eye.
After I got the pain under control, I glared at both of my “friends.”
“You know what? I’m done. See ya.”
I was so mad, I just left my stuff there and buzzed off on my scooter.
~ ~ ~
“… and I haven’t talked to those two jerks since.” Every bit of the filly drooped. Her demeanor looked so much like Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom that it hurt.
I sat back and thought about everything I’d heard from the three fillies. The fact that they met on the lakeshore was about the only thing they agreed on.
Just about.
There were a couple of things…
I’d need to go back to Twilight’s Castle to be sure.
“Scootaloo, thanks for telling me. Of course, you wouldn’t let Nyx down by missing her birthday party, would you?”
The filly stammered for a moment. “Nuh… No way! I’ve already got the best present too!” Then her smile fell. “That’s tonight?”
I nodded. “Be at the castle at sundown.”
She threw on her helmet and pulled her scooter away from the tree. “I gotta go do… uh… stuff. See ya!”
I had enough experience with Scootaloo to raise up a protective wing to stop the gravel thrown up by her acceleration. After watching the dust cloud rocket away, I took off to get to the castle before Twilight and Nyx returned. That’s when I could find out if my hunch was right.
I entered the Great Hall to see Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and the rest of the Elements listening to my wife carry forth about her exploits during Day Court this week. The audience’s polite attention made my heart sing – truly I couldn’t ask for better friends anywhere.
“Ah, Dowser!” Trixie broke off her story and trotted up to kiss me. I quickly answered her kiss with one in my stallion form.
“Feeling better, aren’t ‘we’?”
“Yes, the little one and Trixie are indeed feeling much improved. Miss Fluttershy is quite the expert at the healing arts.”
The pegasus smiled and lowered her head as if ducking to avoid the complement. “Well, I do get to help many of my animal friends through their pregnancies. I’m just glad to help.”
“Your skills are exemplary. Trixie won’t hear any word to the contrary.” My wife turned her attention back to me. “Trixie understands you have been trying to repair friendships between the CMC fillies.”
I nodded. “Which I will discuss with Twilight first. For now, all I will say is that all three of them will be here for Nyx’s party.”
My wife turned to Penumbra, who had soundlessly entered the room behind me. “Sergeant Penumbra. Your Royal Highness Trixie Lulamoon orders you to tell us what my husband is up to.” Penny had been so discrete in shadowing me that none of the fillies had any idea she was there. Sigh. To be honest, I hadn’t seen any indication she had been there either.
I heard a chuckle behind me. “Sorry, Your Worship. I am tasked with protecting my charge from all threats, including impatient mares.”
Applejack said, “Uh, huh. Sure. You ain’t got no idea, do ya?”
I turned to see my bodyguard shrug. “Had other things to do than foalsit everything he did. So no clue.”
Before the mares tried some new angle to get information out of me, I said, “OK, ladies. Why don’t you catch me up on what you have been doing these last couple of weeks while we head down to the daggerscale portal room. Twilight, Thorax, and the filly-of-the-hour should be arriving any time now.”
The suspicious looks I got even from Fluttershy told me not a single one of them was fooled by my abrupt change of topic.
# # #
“… and now Griffonstone has allowed our hive to establish an embassy in the New Talon District which is already over half full with new projects. The future looks bright for resin and resin-enhanced building materials. The griffons are on board and might even let us showcase experimental designs in their city.” Twilight practically danced on her hooves and her beaming smile was constant. I could see the bags under her eyes, though. Once again, she was addressing new problems by working herself too hard rather than delegating. Trixie and I would have to sit her down for another long talk, but the occasion of Nyx’s birthday was not it.
“Say, Twilight, would you tell me something?”
The purple mare looked me in the eyes and nodded.
“What did you do with Nyx last Saturday? Trixie and I are curious how that Mother/Daughter day turned out.”
Twilight looked back down the corridor as we approached the Great Hall. “Oh, it was quite wonderful! First, we made breakfast for each other, then she asked me how to cast two spells at once. I showed Nyx how to levitate objects while invisible and she was pretty successful. Then we played hide-and-seek. After that we took a portal up to Cloudsdale and watched a Wonderbolt training session. From the way her eyes lit up, I think she might be the first alicorn member someday!”
It was obvious how proud Twilight was of her daughter, which made me hate to break my friend’s mood. “Just so you know, Twilight, I’ll make sure Nyx apologizes to her CMC friends tonight.”
My friend’s eyes grew concerned. “Oh, why is that?”
“I’ll let her tell everypony at once.”
Right then, we arrived at the Great Hall. Nyx gasped at the decorations and immediately took flight to inspect all the ribbons, banners, and flowers that lined the walls. Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo were all there but stood as far away from each other as physically possible while trying to look anywhere except at their former friends.
When the alicorn filly came back down to the floor, I motioned for Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity to bring their young charges over to where Nyx was gawking at her eleven or twelve layer cake.
Pinkie Pie brandished two pie slicers that were at least as long as she was. “Is the birthday alicorn ready to have some cake? Whoops! Forgot!” The pink mare turned around in place, facing the cake for only the briefest of moments. When she looked at Nyx again, every candle on the cake was lit. “Is the special-filly-of-the-day ready to blow out her candles first?”
“Sure am!” said Nyx. She took in a big, dramatic breath and let it out at the same time her horn flashed blue. The sudden gust of wind tore the top layer off and it hit the back wall with a splat. Please let that layer have the rancid guacamole flavor. The rest of the layers were caught in Twilight’s magic and gently floated back in place.
Nyx pouted. “Awww. I only got about half of the candles out. Can I try again?”
Her mother rustled her mane with a hoof. “You did just great, dear. How about instead, let’s have Pinkie serve your guests, OK?”
“Oh, that sounds good, too!”
As Pinkie’s blades of culinary doom flashed through the cake, the Cutie Mark Crusaders finally got close enough to wish Happy Birthday to Nyx, though from three different directions. With a squee, Nyx tackled each in turn to give them a hug.
Before Nyx could pick up on the sour mood, I asked, “Nyx, would you tell your friends what you learned from your mother on Saturday?”
With a huge grin, the young alicorn marched to a spot in the middle of her friends. Along the way, she levitated three forks off of the serving table and they floated in front of her. “Well, nothing major, just how to be invisible and levitate at the same time, even when I’m flying… like this!” Nyx opened her wings and disappeared, with only a brief flash of blue from her horn whenever she grabbed and threw one of the forks in a shower juggling pattern. A giggle escaped the space where she had previously been visible.
Her three friends stood with their eyes bugging out and their mouths gaping.
Apple Bloom said, “That giggle…”
Sweetie Belle said, “That blue flash…”
Scootaloo said, “The pranks…”
All three pointed a hoof at the open space that appeared to juggle the three forks with only an occasional spark of light. They chorused, “It was you!”
Nyx dropped her invisibility spell and the forks clattered to the floor. A moment later, she landed and folded her wings. Nyx frowned and reached up to touch her horn. “Really? You can still see my magic? Bumming.”
I smiled. “Now Nyx, I think you should—”
Scootaloo interrupted me while she moved to Nyx’s side. “That is so cool! Just think about what we can do now!”
I tried again. “Uh, yes. Nyx, don’t you feel—”
Apple Bloom trotted up to her friends. “Diamond Tiara is supposed to be havin’ a picnic with Silver Spoon on the far side of the lake. Scoots, you got any more water balloons?”
“Yep. I was planning to use them on you two.”
Sweetie Belle had come to join the other fillies and the four shared a laugh. The unicorn filly said, “As if! I won’t go easy on you next time!”
Apple Bloom said, “Ah… uh… found my sis’ canoe, so we can sneak up on ’em all quiet like and have Nyx drench ’em!”
I said, “Nyx, this is a good time—”
The four lifted their right forehooves as one, touching them together. “Cutie Mark Crusaders – Master Pranksters – yay!” In a clatter of hooves, they stormed off together.
In the silence that followed, I said to the party mare. “Sorry, Pinkie. Looks like because of me, the fillies will be having their cake slices later rather than sooner.”
“Pffft.” Pinkie waved a hoof in an unconcerned manner. “No worries, Mark. I’ll save a few slices for each of them.”
I thought to follow up by asking what exactly would happen to the metric ton of cake that wouldn’t be kept for the CMC members, then decided I probably didn’t want to know.
I turned around to see Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight giving me the same knowing smirk. The farm mare said, “Didn’t quite go like ya planned now did it?”
I shook my head. “Friendship lesson?”
“No,” said Twilight. “Parenting lesson. No plan with foals survives contact with their reality.”
Rarity said, “Darling, it would be best to simply disabuse yourself of the notion you can guide them where you want them to go. They will get there, just not at the pace or on the path that you wanted.”
Rainbow Dash laughed. “Yeah, what Rares said but with less fancy words. Just focus on how much you love 'em and the rest will turn out OK.”
I got a kiss from my wife who put an empty wineglass into my hoof. “Well done, Dowser. Trixie decrees that you have succeeded in your task. Now the adults can get to the serious matter of enjoying our time without having fillies underfoot.”
I sat down and waited for my wife to finish pouring. I took a sip then looked at the bottle she had in her hoof. Prench – doubtless like hundreds more that had been transferred over to the newly discovered wine cellar in Twilight’s basement.
Well, I supposed it was never too early for my first lesson in parenthood.
# # # # # # # # #
Airy Words felt the acute lack of a Rashomon effect chapter in Off The Mark. It took him many months to come up with a new spin on the PPOV episode... and almost as long to write it! 
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Now this is a model of an excellent husband.
It is true that when you try to teach certain lessons to very active kids of any type, it usually will 9/10 go not the way you planned it.
If the cutie mark crusaders got their cutie mark shouldn't they be friends with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon now?
9870626
They are more like “frenemies.” Some weeks they are best of friends. Other times they can’t stand each other. I get to see this with my teenage daughter all the time!
oh, in the recent episode "growing up is hard to do", they MISS their timing!
9870642
Whenever I see the word “frenemies” now, I want to reference either Phineas and Ferb or MLP, and I can’t decide which because both songs are amazing. Help.
No plans and enemies, right? Just, it doesn't always need to be enemies.
It's good to get practice in before the test.
Keep going! ;)
a grate chapter so much fun so much truth. after training foals for 30+ years i can say it is kind of like hearding cats.
now donkeys that is kind of like hearding ants on crack you don't train a donkey you ask and if it is in the mood it may do what you ask.
grin i just got a year old mini jack, let the fun start.
9870985
Phineas and Ferb: Frenemies
Better Way To Be Bad from the “Frenemies” episode
... Oh hi Mark!
... Am I the only one who got that? Dang, I really am a degenerate.
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What reference is that? Enquiring minds want to know!
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Its from a terrible movie that has been memed far too much called: The Room.
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Haven’t seen it.
Oh, no! I’m memeing without even trying!
Well, I'm surprised with the ending, I was expecting it was Diamond Tiara hidden somewhere and doing that so they fight between them
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Well...as long as it never becomes permanent or if he gets pregnant. There's too much about this story that makes me facehoof as it is
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Marklestia is a female form that Mark genuinely enjoys but doesn't regard as his true self. That's why he is normally a stallion. And no, Mark will not be getting pregnant.
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Any more big plans for Marklestia? The time he used the form to trick Tirek felt like it should have been enough and no longer necessary
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Keep reading and you'll find out.
Didn't they get there cutie Mark's in an earlier chapter
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Yes they did. I admit that one sentence made it seem as if they hadn't and I have rephrased it. Mark was seeing the evidence of their past efforts.
Chaos trio is now a quad
Discord must be pround that somepony still know this art 
Children and the very old are unpredictebel
Great chapter
Ok, so, it was Nyx doing it, but that doesn’t explain why they were all seemingly so rude and mean to each other? I mean, friendly banter is friendly banter, but that was not friendly banter. That was proper insults, uncaring for the feelings being hurt...
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A few reasons.
1) Each describes themselves as being in the right and as the innocent victim, regardless anyone else's memory, feelings, or point of view. Oh, My. God. Sum up my life as the father of two teenage girls in one sentence.
2) Teenage girls flip-flop between love and hate of their best friends -- sometimes multiple times per day. I have trouble keeping up with whether friend X is welcome to come over or in the doghouse.
3) You noticed how none of the stories lined up well with each other? The emotions they related feeling at the time were more accurate than the words they recalled being spoken.
oh. "ten seconds flat."
Alas, earwax!
I personally thought that the book was doing it.
The big CMC chapter. They for once don't burn 1/4 of Ponyville down... That comes next time
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Out of curiosity how do your spawn react to their sires propensity for furry and horse words?
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The books are there for them to read if they wish. None of them watch the show.
When the story calls for it, I consult with them to get fresh perspectives on how teenage girls would see different situations.