Applejack had dealt with wandering eyes before. Usually the ponies they were attached to looked away and blushed when she glared at them. The rest of the time, those wandering eyes ended up black and blue.
This was looking to be one of those times.
The stallion didn’t seem worried, or ashamed, or even happy that she was approaching him. He just sat there, face blank and eyes narrowed, like he was deciding which apples to use for a pie. Applejack got a glimpse of his cutie mark as she drew closer, a sketch of a griffon, not that any mark would justify staring at her rump. She stopped in front of him and cleared her throat.
“Yes?” the stallion asked, expression never changing. His eyes didn’t meet hers. Instead, they seemed to be tracing her form, never resting on one place for long.
“Just what the hay do you think you’re doing?”
“Studying you.” His tone was distant, like he was sleepwalking or something.
“Studying me?” Applejack paused. “Is this some kinda sociological study that Twi set up?”
“No.”
“Then what are you studying me for?”
“Art.”
Applejack sighed. It was like trying to have a conversation with Big Mac when he wasn’t in the mood to talk. “Care to elaborate on that?”
“No.”
She grit her teeth. “Let me put that a different way.” She leaned over the table threatening-like. “Elaborate, or you’ll be wearing an eye patch for the rest of the week.”
That snapped him out his weird trance-like state. He shook his head and blinked a few times. “I don’t understand.” He returned his gaze to her, but they didn’t meet her eyes this time either.
“What’s not to understand? Keep your eyes off my rear.”
He frowned. “Why?”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Applejack muttered. “You’re telling me you don’t see why it’s rude to stare at a mare’s rump?”
“Not really.” He sat back and reached into the saddlebags at his side. “Why is it rude? I can pay you to explain it. Does three bits sound acceptable?” He held out the bits to her.
Applejack stared at the bits, then at him, then back to the bits, then back to him. “You ain’t from around here, are you?”
“So you want to exchange answers instead of bits?” He put the coins away. “Okay, I was raised in Griffonstone and only came to Equestria last month. Now why is looking at a mare’s butt rude?”
Raised by griffons. Applejack thought about that for a second. So he hadn’t meant to be rude, he just didn’t understand how they did things here in Equestria. Okay, she’d spare him the business end of her hoof. Now to set him straight. “Staring at a mare is just bad manners, and staring at her rump is even worse.”
The stallion frowned and pointed at another booth. “But those two have been staring at each other since I got here.”
Applejack followed his hoof and found Lyra and Bonbon looking into each other’s eyes. “That’s different. Them two are dating.”
His frown only got deeper. “So it would be acceptable if one stared at the other’s butt?”
“Uh, maybe?” Applejack put a hoof to her chin. “I guess it just depends.”
“On what?”
She sighed “Look, Pinkie said your name was Frameless something-or-other?”
“Frameless Sketcher,” the stallion said, then quietly added, “Most griffons called me Sketchy.”
“Fine then, Sketchy, I get that griffons and ponies are different, but for now, just stop staring at mares, especially their keisters.”
Sketchy sighed and looked down. “I wish I could be back home.”
That calmed Applejack down. She knew what it was like to be away from home, stuck in a place full of customs she didn’t understand. “It’s okay,” she said gently. “You can come ask me if you have any other questions. I’ll do what I can to help you adjust.”
He smiled weakly. “Thank you. Is it alright if I focus on the stallions instead.”
“What?” Applejack asked, then her eyes widened. “Oh, I didn’t realize you swung that way.”
He gave her another confused look. “Swung?”
She could feel her cheeks flushing, and for a change, she was glad that he wasn’t looking into her eyes. “I didn’t know you were attracted to stallions, okay?”
Sketchy looked even more confused. “I’m not attracted to stallions.”
Applejack stared at him. “Then why in the hay do you wanna stare at their rears?” Couldn’t anything be simple with this stallion?
“I’m a professional sketch artist,” Sketchy said. “I draw pictures of models and sell them for my income. Having both male and female models doubles my potential customers.”
At least that was one more piece to the puzzle. Too bad there were dozens of other pieces still in hiding. “How did that lead to you staring at my butt?”
He looked her right in the face and calmly said, “I think you’re the most beautiful mare here. At least, most of the stallions were giving you appreciative looks, especially toward your butt. I wanted to commit your form to memory.”
Applejack couldn’t help but blush a little. “Um, thank you?” She shook her head. “Wait, other stallions were staring at me too?”
Sketchy nodded. “That stallion sitting by himself, that one with the mare I assume is his significant other, and the group of stallions in the booth next to ours.” He frowned again. “That last group also said some things I didn’t understand. ‘I’d like to hit that,’ ‘I wish I could plow her fields,’ and several other such phrases.”
“Dude, he’s tattling on us!” a voice in the other booth said.
“Violation of the bro code!”
“Run!”
Three stallions stumbled out of their booth and rushed to the exit.
“Serves y’all right,” Applejack shouted after them, “saying stuff like that in public!” She shook her head and turned back to Sketchy. “Now then, I don’t know how griffons do it, but around here, if a pony catches you staring at their butt, expect to get smacked upside the head.”
Sketchy nodded. “Unless it’s with a pony I’m dating, correct?”
“Right.” Applejack smiled. Maybe she’d finally gotten through to him.
“In that case,” Sketchy said, “join me for a date tonight?”
She gave him a deadpan look. “You’re only asking me out so you can keep staring at my rump, aren’t you?”
“Not just your rump, all of you, preferably from different angles and in different positions.” And somehow, he said it without the slightest hint of innuendo.
Applejack facehoofed. “Look, I don’t rightly know how attractive or not I am to the stallions around here. Never paid much attention to my looks past combing out the snarls in my tail. If you want some sort of a model and a bunch of advice on what looks good, go talk to my friend Rarity. She lives and works at Carousel Boutique, just over that-a-way.” She gestured with her hoof. “The stallions all seem to lose their minds over her, so she must be a couple different flavors of beautiful.”
Sketchy pursed his lips thoughtfully before nodding. “Thank you for your advice.” He reached into his saddlebags and passed her a small pile of bits. “That should cover the cost of your help.”
“Let me stop you right there.” Applejack pushed the bits back. “I’m helping because I wanna be nice, not for bits. That’s how we do things in Ponyville.” She walked away before he could object. “Anyways, I’m off. You take care of yourself, Sketchy.”
He was back to giving her that confused look. “I, um, very well.” He returned the bits to his bag. “Take care of yourself as well, miss …?”
“Applejack.” She tipped her hat to him. “And I’ll see you around.”
...
Huh. This was...interesting.
I like it.
Keep up the good work my good man
9044160
I'm glad you liked it, and yeah, "Interesting" is a good way to describe pretty much everything in this particular bit of insanity.
I rather like the concept of this story. Sketchy is unaware, but he comes off as charming, and I think he's going to pair well with Applejack. I can't wait to see the rest of this.
9044222
I suppose that's a good thing. Regardless, thanks for taking the time to check it out.
9044216
Thanks! Expect updates daily.
The proper term is "Badonkadonk".
9044281
Lol, I'll keep that in mind.
9044281
9044281
Honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm make you want to swing along
Got it goin' on like Donkey Kong
And ooh well shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There ought to be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy how'd she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
9044516
Gotta love this brand of insanity.
9044516
This song holds a lot of sentimental value to me, as hearing it as a child was the first time my virgin ears ever came to experience the wonders of the badonadonk.
It's also the first and only time I've ever slapped my grandma.
On another note, I've only just now actually read the story, and it's... Surprisingly tame and rational. Actually interested to see where this goes.
9044546
Sometimes my insanity gets so bad it loops back around and becomes sanity.
Very interesting idea, though I think it's out-of-character for Applejack to want to beat somepony up over bad manners.
I'm also not sure how exactly a pony would determine somepony is staring at their butt, given butts on ponies are level with most of the body, and only barely below the head; the angle of difference would just be so small as to be hard to measure, let alone notice.
9044845
Admittedly, I've taken some liberties with how Applejack would deal with unwanted advances. As for how a pony could tell if someone's staring at their butt, the difference in side profile between butt and head is fairly large, at least a few feet, and the vertical difference between butt and head is roughly comparable to the difference between staring at a woman's chest and her head. You wouldn't even need to rotate your head to switch between them, but people would still be able to tell which you're looking at. Finally, if a pony is staring at the body of another pony, from behind, then pretty much by definition they'd be staring at the other pony's butt. I hope that helps clear up any confusion.
9044883
But normally, with staring at a chest, it's noticed from very close up. I guess the main issue is the distance involved. I imagined that there's at least a few tables between Applejack and Sketchy, given how he's overhearing conversations and remarks she isn't.
I don't know but Sketchy being so innocent is a little bit cute.
And giving bits for help and other stuff...the good old griffon behaviour
Gonna have a closer look to this story
9044894
I'm a guy, so I can't claim any firsthand experience, but several women I know say they've caught a guy staring at their chest from across a room. Actually, that's where I got the idea for this story" "What if a girl caught a guy staring and confronted him, but he had no idea he'd been doing something wrong?"
9045025
Thanks, I hope you enjoy it!
Finally a story made for me.
This is actually a interesting read! Good job, will follow!
9045415
And a loving tribute to my inner 13-year-old.
9045453
Thanks, and I hope you enjoy it.
Nahh he did a good job.
This is quite nice and I can see why he would think he would need to pay her and stuff with how the griffons where in the show the first time.
Somehow when he said he wanted to draw her to sell her pictures or something I expected her to smack him, but maybe you didn't really thought about that.
Ummmmmmm, the "bro code" only applies to your BROS, not some random dudes in the booth next to your's.
Just saying
All I can imagine is Sketchy talking like Sheldon Cooper. Rarity's in for a world of weird.
9046665
Sheldon was definitely an influence on Sketchy's character for me.
This is anime-levels of unnecessary violence for being caught being interested in someone. Sketch pointed out the involved couple, mare and stallion, were looking, and they weren't even paid attention by AJ. The three who made the remarks privately amongst themselves, which honestly anyone staring was probably thinking themselves anyway, were subjected to sudden violence. But neither the stallion of the couple or the mare of the couple were spared time of day or a hoof to the face. Was that just part of the story or meant to be a comedy segment?
Good premise so far, all the same.
Ah yes, The Bro Code of course exists with ponies, as it does with humans, griffons, diamond dogs and sentient balls of gas. The Bro Code is universal.
Uh, I stop here. Tbh, manner of thinking is almost out of character of AJ. She might talk like southerner, but she is anything but one. While she had tendency to overreact in other cases, she was acting tolerant otherwise. Even says so in her part of "work in progress" song. I see here a) cultural intolerance; b) sexism or/and possible c) strange social anxiety, which is not unheard of: do not look at me, do not look at my avatar, it's rude to visit my facebook page, argh, why you stare at my character in-game, it's rude, are you maniac??! AJ had never shown tendency for last two, pretty much she's opposite (well, she wouldn't lie to herself?)
GET REKT YA KIDS
I can understand the way he is thinking. He is one of the kind who don’t mean to be rude or anything, they just don’t know that it even is rude, and are innocent due to that.
9051970
Exactly.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+baby+got+back+sir+mix+a+lot&&view=detail&mid=7EE421692649208E45087EE421692649208E4508&&FORM=VRDGAR
9047113
I think it was more of a thing like obvious staring vs. non-obvious staring. Applejack didn't notice it since the others were less obvious. At least that is how I think things went.
This stallion is so dense he could be on the periodic table right next to osmium and iridium.
9068973
Nice science joke.
Who ever it was that spoke about wanting to "plow through Applejack's field," I wouldn't blame him.
Understand
10182980
Got it. Thanks!
Dude bro code. lol that was awesome.