A Disparate Bond

by the7Saviors

A Creature Within

Twilight once again found herself sprawled upon the cold, unforgiving stone floor of the Crystal Castle's courtyard pavilion, tears streaking down her face and her teeth grit in shame and frustration. Panting, the exhausted filly tried to rise to her hooves but failed. She would have slammed a hoof down into the stone, but she just didn't have the energy anymore.

Why? She inwardly snarled at herself, Why can't I control my emotions? Why can't I get my own magic to obey me? I told myself I wouldn't fail again! I'm trying so hard, but... but I...

"I see..." came the calm and speculative voice of her instructor from above her. Twilight looked up to see Sombra looking down at her, brow furrowed not in anger or disappointment, but in thought as he said, "I believe I'm beginning to grasp what the issue might be, Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight looked back at him with a mix of confusion and hope in her teary eyes. During this last attempt to gain control over her emotions, Sombra had done... something. The filly had no idea what, but whatever it had been, it was clearly magical in nature. Just before she'd closed her eyes to concentrate, she'd caught a glimpse of her teacher's own eyes flaring to life with sickly green light.

Just then, Twilight had gotten a sense that the ruler of this unsettling castle was peering directly into her soul. He hadn't explained himself, and Twilight had done her best to ignore the sensation, figuring he had his reasons and trusting that he wasn't trying to harm her in any way. She certainly wouldn't have extended that trust in the beginning, but that had changed over the course of her training.

The regal stallion had been an excellent teacher in her opinion. He was strict but fair, and though he held nothing back with his criticisms, his demeanor was both calm and patient—for the most part. No, it wasn't that Sombra failed as a teacher, but that Twilight had failed the King as his student. At least, that's what the filly told herself.

It was due to these reasons that, despite the sinister air about the stallion, Twilight had decided to at least put her faith in his lessons if nothing else. If he could determine what she was missing, point out what she was clearly failing to see, then all the better. The filly looked up at Sombra expectantly, but he fell silent, seemingly lost in thought as he watched her. Thankfully, before things could get too uncomfortable, he finally spoke.

"You, my dear student, are hiding something," he stated, his tone was casual, but Twilight could hear a hint of irritation in his voice. She reeled back slightly, somewhat stricken by the accusation. She opened her mouth to deny the claim, but Sombra cut her off with a raised hoof before continuing, "Not from me, but rather yourself. I peered into your mind as you attempted to master yourself, and in doing so, I've stumbled across something quite interesting."

Twilight blushed at that, her shame and embarrassment only growing as she realized he'd likely seen everything. She wanted to be angry at the blatant and casual invasion of privacy, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. The fact that he could so easily peruse her thoughts unnerved Twilight, but at the same time, she recognized that he'd done it for her own sake. She didn't know how to feel about what he'd done, but didn't get the time to dwell on it as the stallion pressed on.

"This is not the first time I've witnessed the trauma you hold within you," he explained, "and each time I've seen it, I felt that something is amiss. After having delved into your past this last time, I believe I've figured out what the issue is."

"A-And what's that?" Twilight asked hesitantly.

"I'm unsure if you yourself are aware of it," Sombra replied, "but each time you lose control, whether in fear or in anger, your memory always unravels at the same exact point."

Twilight blinked in confusion, trying to scour her mind for answers as she asked, "What do you mean?"

Sombra gave the filly a look she couldn't quite parse before letting out a small sigh and shaking his head. "Your recollection of events regarding your family's murder is vivid—every detail viciously etched into your mind. That much I can see, and yet it is... incomplete."

He looked at Twilight with an expression of mild consternation as he continued, "The conclusion is always the same; you cower in your closet as your family's killers approach and then... nothing. You've told me of the dark magic surge that brought you to the region where you currently reside, but there is a large gap between your would-be killer's approach and your arrival in the wastes."

"I don't... that's not," Twilight frowned, her troubled gaze falling to her hooves. She'd been so caught up in Sombra's explanation that she hadn't realized she'd already picked herself back up from the ground. She shook her head, as if denying her mentor's words, "I mean... yeah, things get a bit hazy at the end, but that's only because of the magic surge and my escape. I was disoriented. Lost. I just... I wasn't thinking at the time. I was too scared."

Scared? Was that it? Was I just scared?

That's what she told both Sombra and herself, but even as she spoke, she suddenly realized the explanation felt wrong somehow. She also realized she'd never actually spoken about what happened at the end in any real detail. She hadn't even thought about it. Not really. But now that Sombra had pointed it out, and she was giving it some actual consideration, Twilight couldn't help but wonder if he was right.

"You say you were consumed by fear, but think on this, Twilight Sparkle," Sombra countered with a small, but wicked and knowing grin, "if fear is all that held sway over you, then where did all that fury come from during your last training session? That raw, violent emotion was a deep-seated thing, and if the story you told me of your encounter with the manticore is anything to go by, you've displayed such viciousness before."

Twilight... didn't have an answer for him. All she could do was stare at her hooves, her mind racing as she tried to put together all the pieces of a puzzle she hadn't even known existed until just now. Or rather, a puzzle she'd forgotten about entirely. A puzzle shoved somewhere deep down in her mind. The more Twilight thought on Sombra's words, the more she realized he was likely right, and that terrified her.

Sombra watched Twilight for another few moments as his student attempted to come to grips with the potential gap in her memory and what that could mean. Sombra, for his part, knew very well what it meant. He could even guess what had likely happened back then. Twilight was a brilliant student, but this wasn't the first time he'd taught somepony in her situation—far from it, in fact, but he held his tongue.

Twilight herself didn't know it, but Sombra could see that the filly had come to a crossroad on her path to learning the darker arts. She would soon break through her mental barriers and walk the road to greatness—becoming one of the greatest dark mages since Sombra himself—or she herself would break and likely fall to madness and despair. Sombra had seen the latter happen to too many would-be dark mages to count, and it was never a pretty sight to behold.

But in Twilight Sparkle, Sombra had faith. He himself couldn't say what it was about the filly that inspired such faith, but somehow he knew she would come out of this stronger than perhaps even he could imagine. That said, the filly was standing on a knife's edge, and she'd have to take that next step on her own. With that in mind, the stallion moved past the ruminating filly, only stopping to give her some final advice.

"Take the rest of the day to think on what I've told you, Twilight Sparkle," he said, "you already know what hides beneath the surface, you need only muster the courage to look deep enough to find it. And you will. Of that, I have no doubt."

And with that, Sombra vanished, leaving Twilight to further ponder what he meant. A flash of something flickered across her mind—a flitting shadow in the dark—but it was gone before she could even register that anything had happened. Twilight stood lost in thought for another few minutes before finally leaving the snowy courtyard and heading back to her provided room. All the while, that final moment before she whisked herself away from her home played itself in her mind again and again.

What does it mean? What am I missing?

Twilight's bleary eyes scanned the surrounding desert, the disoriented filly taking in the dry, cracked ground and blood-red sky with groggy confusion. Her mind felt as though it was in a haze, and she found her thoughts excruciatingly slow to come. It was hard to think clearly, and yet through the haze, she could tell that something wasn't quite right. Muddled as her mind was, one thought came through loud and clear.

She wasn't sure what this place was or how or when she'd gotten here, but she knew she'd been here before.

The place was unsettling to be sure, but Twilight's somnolent confusion dulled her unease. She tried to recall what she'd been doing last, but her memories before the desert were shrouded in a fog. With nothing else to go off of, and getting nowhere fast in this eerie landscape, Twilight called out for somepony. Anypony. Her voice echoed strangely in her ears, the sound seeming to carry on for miles.

And to her shock, something responded.

And here we are once again, crowed a deep, feminine voice oozing with self-satisfaction, welcome back, little mageling.

Something in the atmosphere shifted as the voice spoke, and Twilight suddenly found herself snapped back to full clarity. She swept her gaze about with new eyes and gasped as the memories came rushing back. She'd been lying awake in bed, trying and failing to get any sleep as she pondered what secret could possibly lay hidden within her memory of that tragic night. And then... and then...

"I fell asleep at some point," the filly realized with wide eyes, "I'm... I'm dreaming right now."

Indeed, you are, Twilight Sparkle, came the disembodied voice once more, its tone growing serious, but this is no mere nocturnal reverie. Not this time.

"What are you talking about?" Twilight called back, searching the crimson sky for the source of the voice, "Who are you? Where are you?"

It matters not who I am. What matters is that you focus, child. You've a decision to make, and this time there shall be no waffling.

"A decision?" Twilight repeated, confused and unable to quell the growing unease in her chest, "What do you mean? What decision am I supposed to—"

The filly shuddered as another presence suddenly made itself known behind her. Without even turning around, Twilight knew. She'd felt this sensation before. This pitch-black malevolence that was so alien yet so familiar. At that same moment, she remembered the previous conversation she'd had with the enigmatic and imperious voice in the sky.

It all clicked together then, and Twilight found she didn't have the strength to face the creature that stood behind her, waiting even now for her acceptance. A decision had to be made, the voice said, and Twilight understood. She knew very well what decision had to be made, and still, she wasn't ready to make it. It was too sudden! Too soon! She hadn't prepared for—

Still hesitant to accept who and what you truly are, I see...

The voice sounded disappointed, but somehow Twilight got the impression whoever was behind that voice was smiling, and it wasn't a pleasant smile either. Before the filly could even think of a response, the voice spoke again, its tone disarmingly casual.

A shame, that. Though I suppose being put on the spot would make most nervous. The voice paused briefly, then, in a tone that made it clear the voice had been waiting for this moment, it said, Ah, but what if I told you that little piece of yourself you've been shying away from all this time held the answers you've so desperately been searching for?

That caught Twilight's attention and she once more raised wide eyes to the sky. She didn't reply aloud, but her expression spoke volumes. How did you know? Are you telling the truth? Who are you, really? How can I trust you? All these questions and more flitted across the filly's face in an instant and the voice laughed as it caught them all.

Oh yes, whelp, I know all about your painful past—better than you do even, and I'll tell you something else. Sombra knows what you're hiding from yourself as well, but he won't tell you, and neither will I. No, that truth must be earned, little mageling, and you know exactly what you have to do to earn it, don't you?

Twilight's gaping mouth snapped shut. Her eyes fell to the ground, her expression twisting into a bitter and indecisive grimace. Overwhelmed by her current situation as she was, Twilight did, in fact, know what she needed to do. She'd known all along that the voice was right. Even back during their first meeting in this nightmarish desert, she'd known somewhere deep down that she'd have to face the creature that lurked within.

She didn't want to face the creature—to face that part of herself. It was cold. It was dark. It was scary. It felt evil. She hated it. Hated to think that something that malicious could be a part of her, and yet it was, undeniably, Twilight Sparkle. She could feel it, knew it on a fundamental level, even if she didn't fully understand how or why that piece of her existed. But in the end, what choice did she have but to accept it?

Not only was the creature a part of herself—not only could she not progress until she embraced it—but that part of her also carried with it that crucial bit of her memory. A memory Twilight hadn't even known she'd been hiding from. A memory she was beginning to realize she'd likely kept buried for good reason. And yet, she couldn't move on without it. The thought of what that single memory contained terrified her.

It made her hooves shake and her heart pound painfully in her chest, but the voice was right. Sombra was right. All the hesitation was holding her back. Her failure to accept that malevolence lurking within her was hindering her growth. Making control of her emotions nigh impossible. Whatever this part of her was, she had to face it head on. Look it in the eye and embrace it, no matter what form it took.

And besides, hadn't she already resolved to do whatever was necessary to grow stronger?

She had, and with one last shuddering breath, Twilight raised her head, jaw set, and turned to face the creature behind her. Cold amethyst eyes met her gaze, piercing right through the filly with their bottomless cruelty. Twilight swallowed, her entire body trembling, but she refused to look away. The voice had fallen silent, but Twilight could feel its eager anticipation like a shroud. She ignored it.

"W-Well?" Twilight began, unable to keep her own voice steady as she challenged the shadowy, filly-shaped mass of malevolence before her, "What are you waiting for? J-Just... do what you need to do, already!"

For a long, tense moment, nothing happened. The creature continued to stare at Twilight, and Twilight continued to stare back. Her nerve began to slip more than once, but each time Twilight viciously clamped down on it, refusing to give ground in this unnerving starting contest. And then, after what felt like an age, the creature smiled.

Eyes wide and razor sharp teeth flashing with malicious glee, it stepped forward before Twilight could react with anything more than a startled gasp. Then it stepped into the filly, and her entire world shattered. Somewhere in the endless nothingness, Twilight's heart began to pound. She could hear her blood pumping in her ears. She could feel the mana boiling in her wellspring. Emotion, raw and violent, threatened to tear her mind apart, but somehow Twilight held on. She had to, or else—

The memory hit her like a tidal wave, and like a tidal wave, it washed everything else away.

Somewhere within herself, Twilight listened as horrified screams turned to broken laughter. The sound echoed strangely throughout the small confines of her bloodstained bedroom, but the laughing filly paid it no mind. Twilight watched transfixed as the vicious smiles of her family's killers faltered. She watched confusion on the twins' faces as they looked around the room, then at each other, then back to the cackling filly.

She watched as the pegasus twin's confusion turned to alarm, then terror, then agony as a pair of bubbling, purple-black tendrils lashed out and tore her wings from her barrel. A third tendril grabbed at one of her legs and tore that away, then more and more came to pull the wailing pegasus apart piece by piece.

The pegasus screamed. She begged, she sobbed, she cursed, but the filly with her smoky purple-green eyes just laughed as countless tendrils continued to pour out of one miniature black portal after another. Twilight looked on, a dark sense of satisfaction bubbling to the surface as she watched the dozens of tendrils pull each and every piece of the pegasus back into the pitch-black void of those portals.

Once the deed was done, the portals snapped shut and the giggling filly stepped out of the closet, her radiant green eyes fixed on her next victim. The filly—the creature—saw the remaining twin. She saw his rage, his despair, his fear. She saw the unicorn's attempts to summon the demon that smashed her father to paste. She registered none of it. There was no conscious thought. There was no consideration. There was no guilt or sympathy or mercy.

There was only the image of the filly's father crushed to death. The image of the filly's mother cut to ribbons. The images of the filly's brother, his body impaled and dragged away to who knew where. Over and over again, the scenes played out in her mind as the filly thoughtlessly lashed out with dark magic far beyond her ken. There was despair, yes. There was also rage. Twilight could feel so much of both that it made her ill, but beneath it all, she could also feel something else.

There was power, and the sick joy it brought to the filly. She was drunk on the raw power of her own twisted mana, and she hadn't even noticed. Twilight saw this and understood that it was bad, but as the filly used another massive black tentacle to tear apart the unicorn twin's summoned demon arm—as she drank in the utter horror on the unicorn's face—Twilight found it harder and harder to fault her past self.

After all, that was the power she wanted. The power she needed. If she could only learn to control herself, all of that could be hers without the mental baggage. Twilight watched the writhing tentacle wrap itself around the struggling unicorn. She looked on with uncharacteristic relish as the giant limb smashed her father and brother's killer into the ground again and again and again and again.

The stallion had died after the first drop, his entire front half rendered to nothing but a messy red pulp. Yet, the filly kept going, heedless of the fact. Her laughter never stopped for a moment, and neither did the tears. Eventually, some semblance of sanity returned to the filly, and she finally released the pile of viscera that was once a unicorn stallion.

All that was left now was the silence, save for the filly's choked giggles, and the overpowering stench of blood and entrails. Twilight gave a mental wince as the scene before her flickered. The filly stumbled backwards, her sickly green eyes flaring and her horn bubbling and sparking with dark mana. She'd used power she wasn't meant to have in an emotionally charged magic surge, and now she was about to pay the price.

Twilight could feel it coming, the pain, the fear, the horror of what she'd done. The filly had been dragged along by her emotions and let her own dark affinity take the reins. Now that she had no other targets for her rage and despair, her consciousness began to seep back in. The filly flinched, and Twilight flinched right along with her in sympathy. Eyes still blazing with dark magic, the filly looked around her gore drenched bedroom.

"No... N-No..."

That was all the filly could rasp out as she slowly shook her head in denial. Her horn discharged a small bolt of purple-black lightning, and she cried out at the resulting shock to her wellspring. The mana in her wellspring was still boiling over, desperately in need of release but blocked off by the partial return of the filly's sanity.

Twilight herself knew what came next. In terrible pain and desperate to escape the horror of her circumstances, the filly turned and leapt right into a black portal she'd unwittingly torn open in her half-mad attempt to abandon her home. The remaining power in her magic surge had been enough to throw the filly halfway across Equestria, penetrating Celestia's barrier and knocking the filly unconscious in the process.

By the time Twilight had woken up in that rocky desert, she'd already divorced her mind from the wanton slaughter she'd committed. It hadn't been a conscious decision on her part, and Twilight found it both interesting and baffling that her vengeance—unintentional as it was—had been what her mind had chosen to block out instead of her family's murder.

She couldn't help but wonder why that was. Both events were equally traumatizing. Why hold on to one and not the other? Twilight didn't understand, but now that she'd uncovered the truth of what happened immediately following her family's murder, she had a chance to ruminate on what she saw. It didn't take her long to realize that, as gruesome as her actions were, now that's she'd faced them head on, it didn't bother her all that much.

It left her a bit sick at first, but the more she thought about it, the more she couldn't help but see it as justified revenge. Those monsters had slaughtered her family with brutal smiles and cruel laughter. Now they were dead, and Twilight was the one left laughing in the end. Was this closure? Twilight didn't feel like it was, but she could accept what she'd done with far more ease than she expected.

She'd embraced and accepted the memory of what she'd done, but Twilight also understood on some level that she hadn't been right in the head back then. The question still remained whether she could willingly rend her enemies asunder with such vicious brutality. Twilight didn't know for sure, but something told her she'd get her chance to find out sooner rather than later.

The Equestrian Outlands were a dangerous place, after all.

It took Twilight a moment to realize she'd woken up, and had been awake for quite some time. Feeling like a new pony, she opened her eyes and sat up in her bed. Rubbing the crust from her eyes, Twilight tried to understand where this elation and sense of accomplishment were coming from. She'd finally accepted the creature within and discovered the truth of what she'd done, but she could feel there was more to it than that.

She looked around her room, then froze in shock as a thought hit her.

No... it couldn't be... could it?

With her heart pounding its way into her throat, Twilight hurriedly threw off her blanket and scrambled out of bed before turning to get a good look at her flank. A wide smile split her face as she took in the newly embossed design she found there. A violet six-pointed star wrapped in stylized swirls of green and black. Any potential worries about what the design itself could mean were thrown to the wayside in the filly's excitement.

The only thing that mattered to Twilight Sparkle right then was the fact that she had finally gotten her cutie mark.

Comments

[Octoskan]

Always happy to see an update! Enthralled as always.

[Nihi]

This was a fantastic read, hope there is more to come!