• Member Since 28th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

LILDASHIEGRINGO


A polite gun owner. Just don't tread on me.

Comments ( 13 )

So... Sunset keeps going back to the demon because she feels it's the only being in this world that truly loves her? And that, sooner or later, she will eventually allow the demon to take her over once more, which is what the demon truly want?

8844222
Pretty much. Very simple plot.:twilightsheepish:

Hm... that's a very interesting take on Sunset's relationship with her demon.

I like it!

8844662
Wouldn't be possible without jidbrony. Really cool dude!

She destroyed the school, almost damaged their sensitive minds, and even crippled their reputation as a strong educational system.

Okay, I'm not sure these are really bad as she made it out to be. 1) She didn't destroy the school, it was just one wall 2) Sunset believes her friends are sensitive? That's one heck of an insult. Was that on purpose or...? 3) The fact that one girl can easily topple such a "reputation" is proof in itself that this is not a strong education system, and the term education system refers to schools in general to at least the district level

Overall, I do this fic is great, keep on swimming!:twilightsmile:

8846861
This was what she just felt emotionally. For someone that actually caused the actions, it's a different thought process. It's self-shaming.

As for the school system thing... Eh, I wasn't thinking.:twilightsheepish:

8846948
Wasn't thinking? Let me guess... The word school makes you think less?:rainbowkiss:

8846979

I mean school isn't my favorite thing in the world. :rainbowlaugh:

8847217
Because school forces you to depend on others to tell you what to do without consideration of your own thoughts?:trollestia:

8849919
Funny how I'm dealing with that in college. :rainbowlaugh:

8850592
That's why I wish to be an Unshooler, but I'm just about too old for high school and there aren't any sudbury colleges I know of:raritydespair:s

And so I return to find that you have improved your craft. Well done, I must say, well done. intriguing plot seeing how this style of clop has not been used a whole lot. There could have been more detail to increase its effectiveness, so to speak, as well as inputting descriptive language in her emotions, thoughts, etc. for others to feel that themselves. (Unless there was a restraint you had to work with then there were no problems)
Apart from all that, you did pretty well to execute this story. But you can always improve!
-Mr.User

8874480
Thanks! I was going to make it longer, but then I saw users starting to do this 1000 challenge and I thought, 'let's do this'. This was mainly made for two reasons: Sunset is my favorite character and she deserves the best of writing. And this was to make sure I didn't fall off from my usual.

From the past couple of stories, I felt I was being lazy because they just didn't sit right in my heart. So I asked Jidbrony to give me a simple picture of anything so I could test myself. He liked what I wrote and suggested that I post it.

Login or register to comment