Sunset turned to leave as she dropped the facade and smiled to herself. Although it probably could have gone a lot better, it felt good to deal with a friendship problem that wouldn’t affect the fate of the world.
Okay, I'm pretty sure this is becoming the ultimate troll story. Like, Celestia can't amend her relationship with Twilight at all because she doesn't like what a future version of a Twilight she basically creates through her teaching. Sunset tries to fix Starlight Glimmer, while trying to fix Trixie and Sunburst, which are supposed to be Starlight's most important ponies in Starlight's life...and kinda messes it up? It didn't feel like she fully fixed that. Also, she traumatized her coltfriend when he was younger and Cadance knows this and knows she can't tell Sunset.
Geez louise, no one is allowed to say anything without making a mess in this story! Well done author, it must be super hard to balance such a mess in this well told story. Granted, I mainly read this for Cadance, as she's definitely the most entertaining character in this story, but the stuff with Celestia is definitely fun to watch too.
I wonder if Celestia will ever realize that Princess Twilight is basically the result of how Celestia would have raised her. Maybe some of that judgment based on her limited knowledge of Princess Twilight might turn back to herself.
Sunset turned to leave as she dropped the facade and smiled to herself. Although it probably could have gone a lot better, it felt good to deal with a friendship problem that wouldn’t affect the fate of the world.
Sunset turned to leave as she dropped the facade and smiled to herself. Although it probably could have gone a lot better, it felt good to deal with a friendship problem that wouldn’t affect the fate of the world.
Loved the chapter, especially the parts with Celestia. I'm glad you got Twilight and Celestia to makeup, and I can't wait to see what you concerning Celestia's lack of friendship. Also, I'm curious how you'll go about building Celestia's relationship with Twilight since Sunset kind of took her place as the center Twilight's world. Personally, I'm hoping both Celestia and Sunset teach Twilight and Celestia becomes something of a second mother to Twilight as opposed to Sunset being like an older sister.
then you have to be at least over one thousand, one hundred and ten years old.”
Interesting, I hope to see more of Starlight Sunburst and Trixy in the story especially with how Princess Twilight might find out about her, and see how desperate she will be to try and restore the Equestria we she knew.
Is it just me or could it be that Sunny unwittingly ruined Sunset's plan by spending so much time with Twilight? Twilight didn't seem to spend any time with the other filly!manes and she hasn't expressed any sentiment towards them (besides calling RD stupid)
With Fluttershy once again failing to stand up for herself or call out the unfairness of the situation at getting saddled with the lesser princess, Sunset stomped her hoof. “No it’s not!” The little pegasus needed to call Sunset on her ruining things, not be understanding about it!
8960075 I bet she will realize it, and it happens right when Sunset fully figures out what Celestia did to start this mess with Twilight. That would probably be the best way to reveal that.
I like how Fluttershy is just quietly developing a taste for adrenaline and a tolerance for terrifying animals without anyone really noticing. That's going to have some fun snowball effects in the future.
This version of Starlight is a full on stalker/borderline yandere. And Celestia is still a bitch, I can only imagine what will happen when main timeline twilight shows up, cause its going to happen.
“Hey there Fluttershy,” Dashie said as she stepped forward before reaching up to run her own shoulder uncomfortably. “Look, sorry I...embarrassed you. I didn’t mean to uh...be mean ...like that. I was just...excited when I remembered you is all.”
rub ______
“That ain't what I meant,” Applejack deadpanned.
A dismissive snort came from Applejack. “No. I mean what I say. And what I say is the style ribbon is the most worthless. Least the fastest kart is fast. Style is the most stupid.”
Ah _________
D'awww! Loved this chapter.
8965953 Last fic she almost murdered Sunburst in a fit of rage. A part of me thinks this is all future Starlight Glimmer's fault. Canon Starlight wasn't like that at all, nor all communistic / mass murderer. But her going far, far, far into the past to change her past self. Would explain why the one "future Twilight" is fighting is so different.
As well as the oddness of past Starlight having the mentality and dogma of the more evil / hate driven Starlight.
“Good,” Sunset told them. “Because, even though I’ll have a busy schedule, if I do come by to check up on the three of you, I hope that I’ll see the three of you have set this problem behind you and become good friends.”
Sunset turned to leave as she dropped the facade and smiled to herself. Although it probably could have gone a lot better, it felt good to deal with a friendship problem that wouldn’t affect the fate of the world.
Oh the Irony as the mess caused by that is the damn reason you are here.
Sunset turned to leave as she dropped the facade and smiled to herself. Although it probably could have gone a lot better, it felt good to deal with a friendship problem that wouldn’t affect the fate of the world.
Oh ye of little understanding of the butterfly effect
9088845 Now we just have to make sure Twilight doesn't meet herself or the paradox will cause chain a reaction unraveling the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe. But if we are lucky the destruction will be localized to galaxy that Equus is in.
9127467 Actually, not gonna happen. I mean paradox part. Current situation already should have caused paradox, but it didn't since time traveler detaches himself from history here when rewinds time and probably creates another branch. Not sure in which case traveler reattaches, though.
The hate Celestia harbors for original Twilight is getting kind of tiresome, considering how little of the overall situation was her fault (and even the rest is plausibly due to original Celestia counseling her in that direction). Like, Twilight didn't drag Sunset through the portal, what a cruel bitch I guess? Still, I suppose it could be read as a defense mechanism for Celestia to avoid self-destructive levels of blame ala what Sunset's been doing this entire time, which is ... less mentally unhealthy; and now that she's reconciling with the current Twilight it may not ever end up mattering that she's got a mad-on for an alternate version of her.
Corrections offered without malice. ch4: "because your not" you're "ferociousness" ferocity "Rainbows antics" Rainbow's "Starlight skill" Starlight's "scarey" scary "unobtrusive principals" principles "did she used to" use to [did already " a downing mare given a life preserver. "drowning "just road all three and-”rode "tackfully" tactfully " if I said that don’t really like" that I don't "Pavalon " Pavilion all of the princess" princesses "all consuming" all-consuming "pavalon" pavilion
"Luminessence" Luminescence "Pavalon?" Pavilion? " the paining." painting. "a herbivore.” an ". Is was" It "down their" there "No sure" Not "like to breath " breathe "was alright," all right, "that remind Celestia" reminded " her time since then had been nothing but energetic. " This is the opposite of what you mean. "anything but energetic." "Ms Sunset" Ms. (for US spelling)
It's never really speculated on often, but those other statues in the garden could absolutely be past enemies of Equestria. Whose actions were deemed to be so horrible and unforgivable that it led to a fate of equal punishment. Could make for some very interesting stories.
Look, I like the stories (aside from the weird... kinky crap...), but grammar is important. Past comments show that this has been filtered with a fine-toothed comb, and I still found a few errors from casual perusal. I can see that you don't want an editor, or whatever, but can you at least install Grammarly or something so that it's not so garbled and we can enjoy your work better? It won't even change your workflow. They've been posting all sorts of ads about how it can find all sorts of typos and catch syntax errors, even. For that matter, just look for words that are underlined in red, just in your normal browser or editor view (Chrome, for one, has spell-check built-in, and it's a common feature), and right-click them to see what is wrong.
95% of the time when I write fanfiction, I'm talking into a smartphone that transcribes it onto a google doc while in bed because I can't go to sleep and need something to distract my thoughts, then just go back and add all the ""s, paragraph returns, commas, and everything else after a quick spell check by Gdoc points out the errors before a quick read through by me at about 10PM for any glaring errors in this websites editing window, which will point out misspellings if my grammar check was on (there were a few months when an update of some type turned it off).
If I actually typed the whole thing out, there wouldn't be anywhere near the amount of material you see right now.
Report to Corporal Punishment for immediate disciplinary action
I kinda wonder if he's Hard Line's nephew or something, and what happens when he gets promoted to Sergeant.
thanks to Caddance’s comment.
*Cadance
random determination of what they were supposed to do seemed wasteful.
Shiny! What kind of a nerd are you, thinking disparaging thoughts about the Random Number God? You should be complaining that she's using straws instead of rolling dice!
If she told Princess Sunset the truth, she might not want to help her. “A-And Trixie.”
Well, to be honest, the best thing for Equestria is to snap Starlight's neck and stuff her down a well. Sadly, I don't see Sunny doing that.
Then, when Sunburst moved away and found Trixie, he got a...well...okay, the Trixie that Sunset knew was also pretty self absorbed and bossy, but maybe she and Sunburst just clicked better than him and Starlight did.
Trixie is, marginally, a more moral pony than Starlight. Unless Albinocorn is writing, then she's much better.
“I figure that it’s his turn to play with you.”
Sunset. Did you not just get a lesson in unintended consequences? Are you trying to ensure that Starlight turns into a time-space continuum destroying monster?
Sunset knew it was probably better to just toss her down the darkest hole she could find and never let her out.
Good idea! Banish her to the moon! ... no, wait. Then she might take over the Nightmare from Luna and that would be even worse.
Sunset knew from personal experience how hard it was to turn a life around when nobody else wanted anything to do with you.
Honestly, I'm not sure Starlight has it in her even with a friend.
Because I-think Princess Celestia
don't need the hyphen here.
Girls, I think clothes and apples are just fine! I used to wear and eat them every day!
You used to wear apples and eat clothes?
causing Shiny to go stuff in her forelegs
*stiff
“I wonder which pony you should believe. The one voice in front of you that’s saying one thing, or the hundreds of books that say otherwise?”
Usually I side with the books ... especially in this case.
Why would Sunny apologize for something Princess Celestia did?
*waits patiently for Twi to buy a clue*
You’re…” Twilight mumbled as she slowly raised a hoof to point at the little solar alicorn. “You’re Princess Celestia.”
“Because I-think Princess Celestia puts a shielding spell and a teleportation enchantment to remove them from the race when their kart gets destroyed,
Actually, the dash in between ''I'' and ''think'' should be there. Sunny a.k.a Celestia, is changing what she's saying from ''I put a shielding spell...'' to ''I think Princess Celestia puts a shielding spell...'' The dash is there to indicate that she's essentially interrupting herself. One dash works well enough, but I personally prefer to use an em-dash (the extra-long one) or two dashes to indicate interruptions, even when it's just someone changing what they're saying so fast, it would sound like an interruption if you were hearing it spoken.
Which Trixie actually...well, Sunset doubted that the blue unicorn actually wanted to save Starlight’s proverbial bacon and was just wanting to get some points for doing what she thought Sunset wanted her to do. So, it wasn’t all that altruistic.
You can be altruistic and get something out of it!
Both of them turned their attention to Princess Celestia after hearing a little squeal. “Cake flavored ice cream? You have ice cream that tastes like cake?”
...Yep, that’s Celestia.
Sunset turned to leave as she dropped the facade and smiled to herself. Although it probably could have gone a lot better, it felt good to deal with a friendship problem that wouldn’t affect the fate of the world.
And this, little ponies, is what we call dramatic irony.
Thankfully, Sunset didn’t look back to see the tears that were making her vision blurry.
...I’m probably gonna be punished for this blasphemy, but... Poor Celestia!
“Especially the fart noises,” Sunny told her with a smile that looked a little more genuine. Then she frowned a bit. “Besides, that mare deserved them. Star Butterfly didn’t invent the blazing rainbow, she just accidently set one on fire. It’s a completely different thing.”
Sunset turned to leave as she dropped the facade and smiled to herself. Although it probably could have gone a lot better, it felt good to deal with a friendship problem that wouldn’t affect the fate of the world.
A tiny laugh came from Sunset’s mouth. “Well, they’re a lot like some other friends I used to have,” she replied. Then, the amber alicorn gave both of the nine-year olds a disappointed look. “Maturity level and all.”
This chapter was really sweet, though I'm still a little sour over your characterization of Starlight. At least it seems she's now on the path to becoming the GlimGlam we know and love, without accidentally causing multiple apocalypses this time!
There's no way that brainwashed ponies after being unbrainwashed and having their Cutie Marks back. Would be so loving and forgiving to a murderous sociopath, who offed their friends and family.
Like, we get that she was violent, and more than willing to cross quite a few lines to get her way. But she's deep down a lonely sweet heart, that has 0 ideas how ponies or social skills work.
That and she lacks quite a bit of subtlety. Like a lot of subtlety. There's no way she wouldn't have gotten caught after pulling the shenanigans she did in this fic. So yeah, hopefully we get our cute Glim Glam, and when Cadance / Sunset Shimmer meet the original Glim Glam, they can beat the stupid out of her, and return her to her adorably inept walking disaster of a self. That we all cherish and adore.
Oh Sunny, if only you knew...
Okay, I'm pretty sure this is becoming the ultimate troll story. Like, Celestia can't amend her relationship with Twilight at all because she doesn't like what a future version of a Twilight she basically creates through her teaching. Sunset tries to fix Starlight Glimmer, while trying to fix Trixie and Sunburst, which are supposed to be Starlight's most important ponies in Starlight's life...and kinda messes it up? It didn't feel like she fully fixed that. Also, she traumatized her coltfriend when he was younger and Cadance knows this and knows she can't tell Sunset.
Geez louise, no one is allowed to say anything without making a mess in this story! Well done author, it must be super hard to balance such a mess in this well told story. Granted, I mainly read this for Cadance, as she's definitely the most entertaining character in this story, but the stuff with Celestia is definitely fun to watch too.
Hahahahahaha, I can't keep track of who's fucked up more!
I wonder if Celestia will ever realize that Princess Twilight is basically the result of how Celestia would have raised her. Maybe some of that judgment based on her limited knowledge of Princess Twilight might turn back to herself.
Just letting you know, the name of the game Starlight and Sunburst used to play was called Dragon Pit. Just thought I should clear things up.
Muahahahhahah
I like how Sunny has such disdain for those who mess up history tours.
Yes, yes! More!
I got to remember this description next time I go on a log flume.
"her time since then had been nothing but energetic"
"her time since then had been anything but energetic"?
I think you have a misspelled word in this chapter. Would you like me to point it out?
Loved the chapter, especially the parts with Celestia. I'm glad you got Twilight and Celestia to makeup, and I can't wait to see what you concerning Celestia's lack of friendship. Also, I'm curious how you'll go about building Celestia's relationship with Twilight since Sunset kind of took her place as the center Twilight's world. Personally, I'm hoping both Celestia and Sunset teach Twilight and Celestia becomes something of a second mother to Twilight as opposed to Sunset being like an older sister.
Onesversry???
Precisely. And since it's about her, she gets to do what she wants during it.
8959878
Yeah, and let's not forget the fact that Dash is about to have a race with Celestial. I can only see that ending hilariously.
Cute. Good to see this back, I missed it dearly
Interesting, I hope to see more of Starlight Sunburst and Trixy in the story especially with how Princess Twilight might find out about her, and see how desperate she will be to try and restore the Equestria we she knew.
Is it just me or could it be that Sunny unwittingly ruined Sunset's plan by spending so much time with Twilight? Twilight didn't seem to spend any time with the other filly!manes and she hasn't expressed any sentiment towards them (besides calling RD stupid)
I think this is my favorite AU.
And best chapter so far. I was afraid you’d written yourself into a corner.
Another great chapter.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/1/6/55__source+needed_suggestive_artist-colon-the+weaver_discord_fluttershy_princess+celestia_the+return+of+harmony_alicorn_alternate+scenario_aren%27t+you.png
8960075
I bet she will realize it, and it happens right when Sunset fully figures out what Celestia did to start this mess with Twilight. That would probably be the best way to reveal that.
I like how Fluttershy is just quietly developing a taste for adrenaline and a tolerance for terrifying animals without anyone really noticing. That's going to have some fun snowball effects in the future.
Oh, the irony of that little line... we need a changeling emoji, because that was delicious.
8960703
Maybe it will end with... a rainboom?
Good chapter. Keep it up.
I cracked up at Sunset being responsible for Shining's Ptsd
And Trollestia is in full force.
This version of Starlight is a full on stalker/borderline yandere. And Celestia is still a bitch, I can only imagine what will happen when main timeline twilight shows up, cause its going to happen.
8965953
Most likely Celestia and/or Cadence trying to crucify her while keeping it from Sunset.
rub
______
Ah
_________
D'awww! Loved this chapter.
8965953
Last fic she almost murdered Sunburst in a fit of rage. A part of me thinks this is all future Starlight Glimmer's fault. Canon Starlight wasn't like that at all, nor all communistic / mass murderer. But her going far, far, far into the past to change her past self. Would explain why the one "future Twilight" is fighting is so different.
As well as the oddness of past Starlight having the mentality and dogma of the more evil / hate driven Starlight.
9056292
Yep. Then light her on fire.
Absolutely awesome chapter! Great work!
Oh the Irony as the mess caused by that is the damn reason you are here.
Oh ye of little understanding of the butterfly effect
9088845
HAHAHA!
9088845
Now we just have to make sure Twilight doesn't meet herself or the paradox will cause chain a reaction unraveling the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe. But if we are lucky the destruction will be localized to galaxy that Equus is in.
9127467
Actually, not gonna happen. I mean paradox part. Current situation already should have caused paradox, but it didn't since time traveler detaches himself from history here when rewinds time and probably creates another branch. Not sure in which case traveler reattaches, though.
Filly Celestia is me.
The hate Celestia harbors for original Twilight is getting kind of tiresome, considering how little of the overall situation was her fault (and even the rest is plausibly due to original Celestia counseling her in that direction). Like, Twilight didn't drag Sunset through the portal, what a cruel bitch I guess? Still, I suppose it could be read as a defense mechanism for Celestia to avoid self-destructive levels of blame ala what Sunset's been doing this entire time, which is ... less mentally unhealthy; and now that she's reconciling with the current Twilight it may not ever end up mattering that she's got a mad-on for an alternate version of her.
Corrections offered without malice.
ch4:
"because your not" you're
"ferociousness" ferocity
"Rainbows antics" Rainbow's
"Starlight skill" Starlight's
"scarey" scary
"unobtrusive principals" principles
"did she used to" use to [did already
" a downing mare given a life preserver. "drowning
"just road all three and-”rode
"tackfully" tactfully
" if I said that don’t really like" that I don't
"Pavalon " Pavilion
all of the princess" princesses
"all consuming" all-consuming
"pavalon" pavilion
"Luminessence" Luminescence
"Pavalon?" Pavilion?
" the paining." painting.
"a herbivore.” an
". Is was" It
"down their" there
"No sure" Not
"like to breath " breathe
"was alright," all right,
"that remind Celestia" reminded
" her time since then had been nothing but energetic. " This is the opposite of what you mean. "anything but energetic."
"Ms Sunset" Ms. (for US spelling)
It's never really speculated on often, but those other statues in the garden could absolutely be past enemies of Equestria.
Whose actions were deemed to be so horrible and unforgivable that it led to a fate of equal punishment. Could make for some very interesting stories.
pavilion
terminology
distanced
Look, I like the stories (aside from the weird... kinky crap...), but grammar is important. Past comments show that this has been filtered with a fine-toothed comb, and I still found a few errors from casual perusal. I can see that you don't want an editor, or whatever, but can you at least install Grammarly or something so that it's not so garbled and we can enjoy your work better? It won't even change your workflow.
They've been posting all sorts of ads about how it can find all sorts of typos and catch syntax errors, even. For that matter, just look for words that are underlined in red, just in your normal browser or editor view (Chrome, for one, has spell-check built-in, and it's a common feature), and right-click them to see what is wrong.
9254384
95% of the time when I write fanfiction, I'm talking into a smartphone that transcribes it onto a google doc while in bed because I can't go to sleep and need something to distract my thoughts, then just go back and add all the ""s, paragraph returns, commas, and everything else after a quick spell check by Gdoc points out the errors before a quick read through by me at about 10PM for any glaring errors in this websites editing window, which will point out misspellings if my grammar check was on (there were a few months when an update of some type turned it off).
If I actually typed the whole thing out, there wouldn't be anywhere near the amount of material you see right now.
I kinda wonder if he's Hard Line's nephew or something, and what happens when he gets promoted to Sergeant.
*Cadance
Shiny! What kind of a nerd are you, thinking disparaging thoughts about the Random Number God? You should be complaining that she's using straws instead of rolling dice!
Well, to be honest, the best thing for Equestria is to snap Starlight's neck and stuff her down a well. Sadly, I don't see Sunny doing that.
Trixie is, marginally, a more moral pony than Starlight. Unless Albinocorn is writing, then she's much better.
Sunset. Did you not just get a lesson in unintended consequences? Are you trying to ensure that Starlight turns into a time-space continuum destroying monster?
Good idea! Banish her to the moon! ... no, wait. Then she might take over the Nightmare from Luna and that would be even worse.
Honestly, I'm not sure Starlight has it in her even with a friend.
don't need the hyphen here.
You used to wear apples and eat clothes?
*stiff
Usually I side with the books ... especially in this case.
*waits patiently for Twi to buy a clue*
That was rather anticlimactic of you, Twi.
9555305
Actually, the dash in between ''I'' and ''think'' should be there. Sunny a.k.a Celestia, is changing what she's saying from ''I put a shielding spell...'' to ''I think Princess Celestia puts a shielding spell...'' The dash is there to indicate that she's essentially interrupting herself. One dash works well enough, but I personally prefer to use an em-dash (the extra-long one) or two dashes to indicate interruptions, even when it's just someone changing what they're saying so fast, it would sound like an interruption if you were hearing it spoken.
You can be altruistic and get something out of it!
...Yep, that’s Celestia.
And this, little ponies, is what we call dramatic irony.
...I’m probably gonna be punished for this blasphemy, but... Poor Celestia!
“Especially the fart noises,” Sunny told her with a smile that looked a little more genuine. Then she frowned a bit. “Besides, that mare deserved them. Star Butterfly didn’t invent the blazing rainbow, she just accidently set one on fire. It’s a completely different thing.”
media1.tenor.com/images/8aaf55e598422817cad665b6c5dadd68/tenor.gif?itemid=14443955
Oh how wrong you are Sunset!
I thought Rarity was eleven?
This chapter was really sweet, though I'm still a little sour over your characterization of Starlight. At least it seems she's now on the path to becoming the GlimGlam we know and love, without accidentally causing multiple apocalypses this time!
10907182
Mhmm.
There's no way that brainwashed ponies after being unbrainwashed and having their Cutie Marks back. Would be so loving and forgiving to a murderous sociopath, who offed their friends and family.
Like, we get that she was violent, and more than willing to cross quite a few lines to get her way. But she's deep down a lonely sweet heart, that has 0 ideas how ponies or social skills work.
That and she lacks quite a bit of subtlety. Like a lot of subtlety. There's no way she wouldn't have gotten caught after pulling the shenanigans she did in this fic. So yeah, hopefully we get our cute Glim Glam, and when Cadance / Sunset Shimmer meet the original Glim Glam, they can beat the stupid out of her, and return her to her adorably inept walking disaster of a self. That we all cherish and adore.