Yessss! This is easily in my top three stories on the site (including SR as the same group), up there with Rites of Ascension and Sharing the Night. Every time it updates my nerdboner shoots to fullmast and I drop what I'm doing to read it.
Can't wait to see Hard Line make a fool of himself smacking his sword uselessly against Sunset.
The white alicorn beamed under the praise of the two ponies as she stood tall while Rarity and Applejack looked up at her in amazement. While she knew it was good manners and junk to congratulate the winners, Dash just couldn’t find the energy to move from where she landed. Despite the fact that she was used to losing to older ponies and Princess Celestia was the oldest pony of them all, Rainbow still felt pretty lousy about the outcome of their race.
Naturally.
Cadance’s grip became as strong as iron and Rainbow’s breath caught when she saw the princess look up and the warmth go out of her eyes. “Yeah,” the alicorn said in a cold voice before she stood back up. “Twilight, play with Rainbow Dash while I go have a word with Celestia.”
Oh no.
“I like Shiny the way he is!” To emphasize that fact, Twilight held onto her not-big brother as tight as she could.
You would.
Twily raised a hoof and waited until the amber alicorn gestured for her to speak. “What’s a hand?”
The thing on the end of Minotaur arms.
“One moment, Shining Armor. Please step away from the colt,” Princess Celestia said. When Princess Sunset grabbed Twilight, the big princess’s horn lit up. There was a bright flash of golden light and when Twilight’s eyes cleared, she saw Shiny was standing in a circle made from his own hoof clippings and hair from his coat.
Nice.
Princess Sunset cleared her throat uneasily. “Uh, it’s not a good idea to use magic on a pony’s mane and tail,” she said. “No matter how powerful she is.”
For odd reasons.
Instead of continuing the argument, Princess Sunset spun back around pointed her horn at Shining Armor. “Shiny, hold still while I probe you,” she said before she frowned, blinked and then blanched. “Ugh...can’t believe I just said that. Just...don't move too much.”
HAH!
Princess Sunset rolled her eyes and lit up her horn. As she talked, her eyes moved back and forth, as if she was reading something only she could see. “His muscle mass has increased by the better part of fifteen percent while while body fat has gone down by more than ten! Mystic pathways have been strengthened by twenty, and his bone density has even gone up a little bit. And that’s not going into hoof and hair follicle strength, which I’m pretty sure has also gone up, but since the normal medical scan spell doesn’t cover that stuff, that’s just a guess.”
You basically made him into Captain America?
Disappointment set in as a vision of a state of the art laboratory with all the latest equipment was shattered by the reality that Princess Celestia’s private lab was barely bigger than a janitor’s closet by her scale of things. “...oh.”
HAH!
“Yeah well, that way of thinking doesn’t really cut it when your bike needs fixing and you can’t afford a mechanic,” Princess Sunset said a she looked away from her mother and blushed a bit. “And you don’t want them to run the license plate.”
I see.
With her mind trying to work out a problem and eager to show the princesses her intelligence, Twilight quickly absorbed the information and worked it into an explanation as to what brought about Shiny’s differences. “So Shiny’s bigger and everything because Princess Celestia’s potion made him eat healthy and get some exercise this time around?” she asked before frowning a little. “Because I don’t remember him doing either of those things before.”
OOF! Shots FIRED.
The room began to shake ever so slightly and Twilight blinked before she heard a slight growl that drew her attention. The little lavender unicorn turned in that direction and saw Princess Sunset standing there with an angry look on her face and a foreleg that was trembling in anger.
Yeah, that's the reaction I expected. It bothers me that in American media, bullies are so prominent when I went my entire high school time without meeting one. Then again, at the one I went to, teachers actually gave a damn.
The room stopped shaking and Princess Sunset looked over to Princess Cadance. “Uh, I already know Shiny’s new measurements thanks to my check-up.”
Not what she meant.
“Urk!” the Princess exclaimed before she looked down at the curious filly with an uneasy expression. “Um...that’s...well,” Princess Celestia said before just gave her a nervous smile. “Say, Twily. What’re you doing next weekend?”
She's trying SO hard.
For some reason Sunset couldn’t discern, Cadance turned to give her a little frown. “One of these days, somepony’s going to blink and you’re going to freeze time, and fuck Shiny right in front of them before they can open their eyes,” she told Sunset.
That sounds fun.
“No talking sex with my mom either!” Sunset snapped in embarrassment at the filly across the colt. She looked around and then settled on Twilight. The flush in her cheeks declined. “We should get her home.”
You should.
“Or think about what I’d have to deal with the day after tomorrow, or the day after that and so on,” Celestia added. “It’s been centuries since I was able to just live in the moment.”
Oh wow...
The fact that Sunset didn’t finish just made it worse for Celestia. It was stupid, really. She was stupid. Asking her daughter to regress her age so she could have some kind of weekly vacation wasn’t fair. She didn’t deserve a vacation from her responsibilities, her worries, her guilt. Luna didn’t get to leave her captivity, Sunset hadn’t been able to hop back to Equestria whenever she wanted to back when she was trapped on Earth, alone and crippled without her magic!
Celestia needs therapy. And a big fucking hug.
Celestia flushed and cleared her throat. “It’s not cheating if you don’t say its not allowed before the contest begins.”
Correct!
“That’s…” Cadance’s mouth went upwards into a smile. “Okay, I’ll say it. That’s adorable.”
It really freaking is.
“Uh, doesn’t true forgiveness have to come from within a part of you that is untouched by any acts done on the part of the other person as proof of their regret and desire to do good?” Sunset asked in an uneasy manner.
Sunset, not now.
“Sunset, you need to get over this fear of you turning into this corrupt monster if you should happen to cut lose.”
Something something the past can hurt.
Cadance looked up to the ceiling in thought before shrugging the comment off. “If that’s an insult, you should probably pick words that I know the meaning of, it works better.”
With Cadance giving her a bright smile, Sunset rolled her eyes. “It means you’re sex crazy.”
“Thank you!”
These 2 are great.
Our private maid had to give up her education because of her her pregnancy before I stepped in. That’s one of those example things ponies are supposed to learn from. Not to mention, we’re both girls, just in case that wasn’t apparent.
The question was answered by an uncomfortable silence from Cadance before she cleared a disturbed look off of her face. “I’m not really sure. It may be that the foals put a strain on our relationship that we’re not mature enough to handle without years of interaction and strengthening our ties, not to mention all the other stuff that’ll probably factor in as well.”
... Yeah, kids, can do unpleasant things to marriage.
As Sunset found herself blinking at Cadance’s bad imitation of her, the pink princesses expression changed of one from wide-eyed to half-lidded before she looked back down at the bigger pony. “That about cover it?”
That is FRIGHTENINGLY accurate.
As her fillyfriend just trailed off, Sunset frowned. “You really need to work on your threats,” Sunset told Cadance.
A lot.
“Well…” Sunset gulped and looked away from Cadance. “I was thinking about... petrification.”
I, huh.
Cadance shrugged. “I’m a romantic, not completely detached from reality,”
Fair.
“That potion Celestia made for Shiny,” Cadance pointed out. “What if Upper Crust drank some of it? Like, just a drop or two. If it aged her and the foal eleven months, she could have the baby and we could find somepony to take care of her or him. That’s what we’re doing, by the way. I’m not just going to pass it off to the local orphanage.”
GOOD.
“Okay, Cadance. I’m about seventy-four percent asleep here. You’re going to have to make more sense than usual,” Sunset told her.
HAH!
“No, but I’ll gladly wear one if you want after our next date,” Cadance assured her. Before Sunset could object, the pink pony kept talking. “Anyway, long story short, you would have ruled Equestria with an iron hoof...for about two weeks. Then you would have let your mom out of her cage, named her your representative on the throne then gone back to your apartments to lay around and do nothing because by then the novelty of being a princess would have worn off and let’s face it, the old you wouldn’t have liked doing all the other work that comes with a crown.
Probably.
Love had its dark side after all.
So it does.
Hard Line stood resolute as he watched what was surely the end up Equestria. Upon the dias above him sat the lowborn gutter trash Sunset Shimmer, daring to wear a crown as she sat upon the throne of Canterlot. Beside her, Princess Celestia sat with a collar around her neck that only Hard Line could see, a victim of Sunset’s dark magics and lies that clouded her vision to the truth of things.
You are REALLY paranoid.
“Look at her up there,” a sensual voice tickled the brave stallion’s ear. “She doesn’t belong on that throne.”
And you aren't helping.
Nightmare Moon withdrew herself from the stallion’s dream, sparing a moment to watch two weeks of her suggestions come to fruition in her pawn’s mind. The sight of such a thing brought her no pleasure, but she had tried other methods of removing the threat to her rule that was Sunset Shimmer to no avail. When opportunity presented itself, rulers took action.
This is going to end poorly.
Despite the fact that it was all a lie! Celestia would NEVER let anypony outshine her! She was a selfish, self-absorbed hose that only cared about herself!
... YOU need therapy too.
Sunset would receive no rest tonight and come the morrow, she would be slow and ponderous, her mind balanced on a razor’s edge. The perfect position to provide ample opportunity for Nightmare Moon’s pawn to...fulfill his task.
Nice we finally get a proper antagonist to the story and explain a lot about Sunset's being over written with gilt in her dreams by NMM. I wonder if Cadance is also influenced by the nightmare. I wonder if Sunset is already more powerful then NMM and the fact she doesn't give two rats ass about her and is an unknown variable that who can be as roughness and will react in strength of a hammer as she would, where Celestia would be more careful in her actions which NMM would more easily capitalize on that. It's nice to see that Shining has a second lease on his body heath and will be better to keep up with Sunset.
9037747 NMM is thinking to herself that in a direct confrontation, she would be a flea against Sunset's dragon lord. Sunset would win a straight up fight, there's no question about that in any canon you subscribe to, as she is currently holding the human EoH magic, which is the equivalent of the Rainbow Power EoH from Equestria. In the show, the Rainbow Power was able to cleanse Luna of Nightmare Moon in her own dream, which is...debate-ably canon to actually happening, but basically it's the same stuff set to a higher level. Also, the fact that Sunset is currently more powerful than Celestia is widely accepted; Celestia needed the EoH to win against NMM, and Sunset has them inside her.
This does bring up an interesting plot divergence, though. Celestia has told Cadence her plan is to die fighting NMM and Sunset would inherit Equestria. At her current power level, there is no possible way that would happen if Sunset was involved in the fight.
9037879 She most likely believes that if Sunset fights NMM the latter would become a smear on the ground. And she can't live with herself of she lets her daughter kill her sister.
There's also the possibility that for her the shoe didn't drop by her not realising that Sunset could simply play "stop hitting yourself" with NMM long enough for another solution to be procured. One thousand years of belief is hard to shake, after all.
The relief Celestia felt flooding hdr body was short-lived when Sunset’s expression turned into a dark smirk. “Of course, this means that you’ll have to give Dash a rematch where you don’t cheat.”
9038086 No doubt, and Celestia has been distracted with actually having "friends" and her daughter getting into a new relationship as well, so she probably hasn't thought it through fully yet. Still, at some point, she's going to have to realize that there's no reason for her to die in the fight; we've already seen Celestia recognize the Elements when Sunset listed them off earlier, and I'm fairly certain it's going to come up between them at some point. But without needing to actually inherit Equestria, I'm interested to see what happens between Celestia and Sunset once that revelation happens.
Cadence: “Don’t hesitate Sunset.” Sunset: “I promise I won’t.” Hard Line: “HAVE AT Y-“ Horrible explosions, glass everywhere, various beings around Equestria start new religions based on The One Who Sets the Sun and her terrible fury. And now, sports.
9037318 I'm pretty sure Nightmare Moon is aware of the changelings and probably allied with them, if not outright controlling/influencing them. They were part of the dream she sent Hard Line, after all.
I'm more curious about what kind of sword she expects him to use. On one hand, we're well aware that Celestia is keeping a small warehouse of doomsday devices and ancient artifacts right in the castle, and Nightmare Moon probably knows as well. On the other hand, one of the most dangerous of those didn't even last five minutes against Suntama the One Punch Horse.
If Hard Line even tries what NMM wants him to do, he will be nothing more than a pile of ash and that’s after what Sunset does to him.
I think NMM better not return when her 1,000 year exile ends, because she is going to get bucked up hard by Sunset and that’s probably before the Elements turn her back into Princess Luna.
Seriously, this lets all blame Twilight and take the respossibility off of Sunset is frustrating. What is their game with this, viewing things so one sided and trying to get Sunset to view Twilight as evil.
As much as I love this story, I absolutely hate how both Cadence and Celestia have heaped all the blame of everything wrong with Sunset onto Princess Twilight. She's just a convenient scapegoat, seeing as she can't defend herself or her actions. It's especially hypocritical of Cadence after all her speeches and whatnot to Celestia.
9039818 9039991 Celestia explains some of her reasoning for that at the end of SR. Sunset had literally told her that she deserved to die, and it scared Celestia pretty badly, so she'll use anything she can think of to alleviate Sunset's guilt - same for Cadence.
I love how NMM even thinks any mortal pony can injure Sunset... She endured a full-power punch from herself, one strong enough to shake the ground, for goodness sake!
9040018 While understandable, this absolving of Sunset's guilt through putting the majority of the blame on Twilight and acting like Sunset is just some poor victim in all of this who isn't really responsible for her own actions just because she was hurt is ridiculous. That is a piss poor excuse and is a terrible use of twisted logic that could be applied to Upper Crust if we used this mental gymnastic of an excuse. "It isn't really my fault I drugged a guy and raped him to get half his money in child support, Its my parents for disowning me and essentially hurting me (even though it was my own actions that led to them doing that, but whateves I'm the victim wahh)"
9040018 Except that is only going to make things worse. The only way for Sunset to get better is to come to terms with her mistakes. That won't happen if everyone keeps blaming Twilight.
Actually that is the logic for the majority of the ponies
Luna: Nobody appreciated her doing the thing she was talented in. (which actually may be a reasonable explanation for temporary pony insanity considering what happened to Fluttershy five minutes after she saw animals during the Gala). But nobody blames her. Twilight: Friends not paying attention to her made her start a riot with that doll. Plus, insanity plea. Shining Armor: Actually has a legit reason since the changeling mind controlled him into weakening his shield. Glimmer: Friend ran away and was left all alone, so had to become a dictator to make sure nobody else would escape! Tempest Shadow: Horn broke and some guy she met in a dark alley said he could fix it if she sold out her country. Sombra: Even he has a pony to blame someone else for his actions in the comics
And yes, Upper Crust did use the victim defense as her reason for what she did.
It's common theme for ponies to play the blame game or victim card. Although for the most part, the pony takes responsibility for her actions and before someone else comes up and goes, "Oh no, it's really X's fault you did that." Upper Crust just blamed someone else straight out.
Tjhis is also happening with Sunset. However, every time she starts to work herself out of the pit she's in, Nightmare Moon comes back and goes "no it's your fault" in the most traumatic way possible, making the cycle start all over again, or they run into something that reminds Sunset of the past like the fillies and slip a bit into her bad habits but to a much lesser degree.
9040358 Wow, a response from the author, I feel honored.
...Your right and that is not good.
Still though, its frustrating that this blame game is still being passed around, take some reasonability ponies. I know its difficult, but saying you are not at fault for the horrible things you did, that creates a narcissist. Saying Sunset isn't responsible because she got hurt and trying to pin the blame all on Twilight isn't helping and how they haven't gotten this yet is beyond me. Nothing good will come from this.
9040203 Agreed, it's not a long-term solution, and Cadence acknowledges that and tries to work on some other methods of getting Sunset to forgive herself (dom and humiliation in the bedroom to a degree). It seems likely they're using it in the short-term just to get Sunset into a place where she can even start recovering from it.
Great chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing Hardline inevitably destroy himself. I'm also looking forward to whatever you do with Nightmare Moon since it appears she will be replacing Chrysalis at the coronation. Lastly, I'm hoping Sunset, Cadance, and Celestia eventually reconcile with Princess Twilight soon enough.
Sticking Sunny with a sword is what is know as "a very bad idea."
First, assuming Hard Line successfully attacks Sunset, either his sword fails to actually pierce Sunset's skin or it succeeds. Let's call these scenarios A and B, respectively.
Second, after an attempt to kill Sunset many other things will happen, the specifics of which depend on multiple variables. Let's label these various permutations with a number.
A1: The sword glances off of Sunny's hide. Sunset is amused and tells the Captain that his act of fealty didn't quite feel genuine enough. Then she proceeds to do something ridiculous and ridiculously OP, as usual.
A2: The sword glances off of Empress Sunset's royal hide. She is not amused. After a flash of light Captain Hard Line is never heard from again, but on sleepless nights, when you are far from another soul and certain that you are alone, you might sometimes imagine that you can hear the echoes of his distant screams coming from the deepest and darkest of shadows.
A3: The sword glances off of Sunset's sheer level of OPness. She immediately suspects changeling infiltration and, for the completely wrong reason, finds traces of mental magic on the Captain. Sunset then proceeds to put on her bug-stompin' boots.
A4: The sword glances off of Sunset. Celestia instantly turns the Captain into a greasy spot on the floor.
B1: The sword pierces Sunny's chest. Sunset looks down at the sword and then gives Hard Line an epic level frown.
"This is not an acceptable act of fealty. I'll have to think something up for you to do at a later time."
Then she continues the ceremony.
The hilt sticking out of her chest makes some of the ponies moderately uncomfortable.
B2: The sword pierces Empress Sunset's chest. She starts glowing. After a few moments the hilt clatters to the floor, globs of molten metal splash around it as what is left of the blade dribbles out of the wound before it seals itself. Light, echoes, screams, deepest shadow, yadda, yadda.
B3: The sword pierces Sunset's chest. She pulls it out, heals the wound, and sends Hard Line to the dungeon.
B4: The sword pierces Sunset's chest. Sunset dies. The only reason Hard Line doesn't immediately join her is because Princesses Celestia and Cadence want to explain their displeasure with him at length. Equestria enters an age of darkness. Nightmare Moon arrives and is hailed as the saviour of pony kind, or at least as the lesser evil.
I can't help but notice that Nightmare Moon didn't so much as mention Princess Twilight. It's a bit unclear whether she'd be Sunset's magical equal, but if she noticed another Alicorn showing up out of nowhere, one would expect it would affect her plan. It could be that Nightmare Moon just didn't notice—she didn't seem to know what was going on at first in the timeline where she won—or maybe Princess Twilight and Starlight just haven't landed yet. They were supposed to arrive on the day of the Sonic Rainboom. It could be that the orange blur Twilight saw was Sunset going even further back into the past than she did.
It's really just idle speculation at this phase, but I enjoy idle speculation.
Sunset would receive no rest tonight and come the morrow, she would be slow and ponderous, her mind balanced on a razor’s edge. The perfect position to provide ample opportunity for Nightmare Moon’s pawn to...fulfill his task.
Having got no sleep last night Sunset freezes time and takes a 3 month nap. Take that NMM!
Aaah, after reading your Changeling Queen series, I just had to check these out once they came to my attention, and I was not disappointed in the least. You've made me love the Sunset/Cadance/Shining Armor herd a great deal, and its fascinating to see how their emotions play out and the roller coaster of their emotions. So much could be said, but I honestly enjoy this alternate history. A good What If...? in perfect detail. Because Sunset might have indeed embarked on such a situation had the fates not intervened... and realizing she might have ended up in the loving forelegs of Cadance and Shining Armor, my favorite pony couple, makes me smile.
She deserves love and tenderness and affection.
I look forward to seeing what happens, and the changes that will spiral out from this. Of course, there is a major event that needs to play out, and the wonder of it, the possibilities of change and different paths of destiny... the Rainboom is coming, will it grant the six their cutie marks and unite them in their destiny? Chrysalis is watching. Will her hidden agent be discovered? I'm onto you, Mare. The Hour of Nightmare Moon's release draws near...
I look forward to seeing what comes of this as much as I hope to one day see you continue the Changeling Queen story.
Thanks for writing this! Its been wonderful and can't wait for more!
The spell that altered Mom is very imprecise, she spent hours on the calculations and even the there was a three year margin of error. Even then, it’s an unnatural form, not a permanent change.
then _____________
“Well, as happy as I am to see some of the old you rearing her head, I’m much more interested in getting Shiny to get his up,” Cadance said before she spun around and reared up so she was even with Shining Armor’s chest, if he had been a human, that is. “So, what do you think we should do, Shiny? Lip wrestling? Soft petting? Or how about...oral stimulation of of the important area?”
of ___________
She laid down on the bigger alicorn and nuzzled her as hard as she could, took in her scent and did everything she could to drown herself in Sunset’s presence. It didn’t do anything to push the anxiety out of her mind. The problem was...working oneself into a proper mood when he threat of death hung overhead tended to be...impossible.
the ___________
The comment got a little snort from Cadance. “No, you’ll dote on yours almost as much as I’ll obsess over mine,” she said before sighing. “And that’s why we’re going to have to wait more than ten years to have foals. Not to mention get pregnant at the same time.”
Sunset tired to just put Cadance’s words into the back of her mind, but with the Princess of Love saying even she could fail to hold a relationship together, it made what her lover said impossible to dismiss. “How...um…does something like that happen?”
Where does she say that? In the dialog above she never mentions anything about the strain on the relationship, or failing to hold it together. _____________
“Cadance, I spent three years in a completely different culture, as a completely different species. I wasn’t just surrounded by different philosophies, way my brain worked was different than the way it works now,” Sunset told her. “And one of the main forces driving human civilization is guilt. Consciously, I know it’s stupid, but I was surrounded by an entire society that told me every day I needed to not only feel bad for things I did, but for what my mother and my mother’s mother did too. Maybe something I heard there got stuck in my subconscious.”
the way ____________
“Why’re you so instant that I stayed on Earth because of some weird geas?”
insistent _______________
Hard Line stood resolute as he watched what was surely the end up Equestria.
of _________
Despite the fact that it was all a lie! Celestia would NEVER let anypony outshine her! She was a selfish, self-absorbed hose that only cared about herself!
whorse
the word you're looking for is whorse. ___________
9066782 While I do agree with the sentiment. This is more than a simple 'What if?'. This AU's past and preset (up to Friendship Games) is radically different from canon in lots of ways. Many, many, many variables of canon needed to be different for this to be a thing (including but not limited to using the butchery and fanon that is the Comics (Hasbro confirmed that the comics are not canon. Someone just paid them the rights to use their characters and brand.)).
That said, as an AU. With an unknown amount of changes to the past. Both naturally occurring, and from Starlight Glimmer raping timelines. This is an amazing read, and I enjoy rereading both fics when I have the free time.
Am I the only one that thinks petrifying Upper Crust is beyond the pale? Because she's just a teenager? She was raised wrong and then her parents (who raised her like that) kicked her out because she was acting like she was raised. They kicked her out so that they wouldn't be punished, and she was no longer of use in their marriage plans, that's reprehensible. There are so many better things available with magic that could correct the situation than using a punishment reserved for Discord who did a lot more harm than Upper Crust. Not only that they're going to let her have the child then stone her? That's just abominable. Making her a scullery maid for the castle and being ordered around by the nobles would be more fitting as well as some community service. She might, I say might, even become a nice pony eventually. Diamond Tiara eventually got straightened out and I thought that was impossible.
Thirded. Does Equestria not have normal prisons for her to be incarcerated in? Actually, from what Sunset said, it sounds like the ponies don't even have lawyers. I shudder to think what passes for due process in Equestria.
9135418 A Zone of Truth, or Truth Potion / Spell is all they'd need actually. No need for lawyers, due process, etc. A simple bit of magic is all that it'd take to know if someone was truly guilty. In someways it's easier than what we have, costs less money, and sees less innocent people behind bars (not 100% since there are memory alteration spells, or a pony truly believing what they are saying, even if false. But less).
And there sentence thing seems to be a bit wonky. With outside of extreme circumstances (that'd land you in a cell), it's either built around to reform and give additional chances to be a better pony. Or you get turned to stone.
9191068 Putting aside the need for lawyers outside of criminal trials. Wouldn't the potential use of memory alteration spells completely nullify the admissibility of any truth/lie detection magic? For example, I could envision a scenario where the guilty party could have their own memory altered to create an alibi. Or, more horrifically, a husband could be framed for their spouse's murder by having their memory forcibly altered or erased. Both of these scenarios further highlights the need for a thorough investigative process as well as the need for an attorney tasked with defending the accused.
9096812 Tbh, a part of me agrees that petrification may be a tad bit overkill. And I do agree that it's the fault of the parents.
But on the other hoof, she mind raped a pony to get his fortune so she would never have to work (the reason she did the mind rape in the first place). And has proven time and time again she has no compassion for anyone, or anything but herself. And would be more than willing to harm, destroy, or torment anyone who got in her way.
Community Service sadly wouldn't have done her a lick of good (Cadance started the work towards doing that for her, and was setting her up to succeed if she worked hard), showing her the consequences of her actions (ala Starlight Glimmer, and DT) wouldn't have mattered (as shown by her using a love potion and pregnancy potion to do an attempted robbery of an stallion. Because Cadance had the "audacity" of saying she would help Upper Crust get a job. Where she'd have to "work for a living"), and the EoH can't cleanse her (since she hasn't turned into a literal monster).
So yeah, they needed a punishment to make doing that far worse than the crime as a detriment. But they could've probably thought of something slightly less horrible than turned to stone ... but at the same time, nothing comes to mind. Especially since the lesser punishments wouldn't have worked.
9040358 Sorry, but I don't think your response is on point. There's a difference between on the one hand the examples you gave where some ponies may have been given slack because of something that precipitated the bad behavior, and on the other hand actually shifting all blame to the thing that precipitated the bad behavior. To use one of your examples, I can't recall anyone other than Starlight herself blaming Sunburst for Our Town, do you?
I just...you know, I’m not as... casual about sex as you and Shiny, you know that.
Cadance, the sex session you just had was entirely your idea and you took the lead every step of the way.
Speaking of Cadance being weird, I don't see how locking Upper Crust up for a year before petrifying her is that cruel. If you never reverse the petrification it's functionally the same as an execution. I think most people would choose an extra year of life even if it was in prison. Maybe it's a pony thing. And hey, maybe the situation will develop in such a way that a lesser punishment than petrification becomes sufficient.
And the rest from mobile. Corrections offered without malice. long blurb "celebrate it's new princess" its short blurb lacks its period ch1 "Going the two of us in reality with " I can't parse this. "your...pony...princess...plump...plot" princess's "impacking" impacting "pittible" pitiable "pump mare" plump "this weeks schedule," week's "about turning down sex was a bad thing. " about how "whos family title" whose "wince the the sting " "threw you needs" your "centres of negotiation" centuries "Let’s be honest Celestia, " honest, "along with Cadance panic" Cadance's "have very simply solutions. " simple "curiosity peaked" piqued "absolvement" absolution "not my proudest moment" Not "repete" repeat "when you one the wrestling match,” you won the "internally groan" This usage grinds my gears. "after its done. " it's "dias" daïs "Nothing could possibly go wrong." Cut to mushroom cloud stock footage. …okay, this is much better. Nicely averted. Another Element, completely separated from how they'd go. "a mite to young" too "her parents faces." parents' ch2 "had born such wonderful fruit" borne "AJ parents" AJ's "before to Sunset " before [verb]ing to Sunset "when reality remind her " reminded "on a ground society-level scale " grand, society-level "convect of multiple partners!" concept "to talk bad about Sunset" to badmouth Sunset "been geassed" geas isn't a verb. "had a geas laid upon her" perhaps "paralisis" paralysis (some of these make me think you never had an automated spellcheck) "all important" all-important “Is that why she always has all those ponies with the trumpets and loud voices announce her all the time?” You made me laugh rather loud at 0200! "creture’s" creatures "them sprung" sprang "Not if it’s played by a princess, see?” Wow. Royal Privilege in card games. "pegasis" pegasus "the didn’t" they "transmitted into a piece of clean parchment. " transmuted "punishing creature’s" creatures "amesia" amnesia "caltrip" caltrop "then let out a long exhale." Exhale is not a noun. "then exhaled at length." "festivals been ruined! " festival's "marehandeled" marehandled Are we going to need to have angry words with Celestia? "wince had Sunset doubled " which "marehandeling" marehandling "truely" truly "extreeting" excreting "making Sunset pulled " pull "explain to hear" to her "Chrysalysis" Chrysalis "Chrysilysis" Chrysalis "mental facilities" mental faculties "least.m" least. ch3? "Crumbels " Crumbles "dirk" dirt “Mare too,” Cheerilee said. (er, Mare who?) "mare’s blinked" mares "give him another queue" cue "que laughter " cue "While it might have appear" delete 'have' "way she wants them too" to "spell let me expedience" experience "pegasai" pegasi ch4: posted ch5: "Princes Celestia" Princess "even the there" even then "fuz" fuzz "Princes Sunset" Princess "ran he tongue" her «Ah, so…”» needs opening quote "screaming their houses" to their houses «end.“I’m» needs a space "cut lose" loose mouth. “”If» delete one quote "the pink princesses expression" princess's "Servent" Servant (twice) "dias" dais (multiple locations) "pidgeon" pigeon "psycho-amalyzy" analyzy "you so instant" insistent "then Sunset magic could" Sunset's "posting up up" delete one up "burry" bury "surely the end up Equestria. " end of Equestria. "as yet another pony that was ten steps above Sunset’s proper station." missing verb at end "shinned" shone "self-absorbed hose " horse ch6 "unlit pire" pyre "what you’re idiocy" your "burt skin" burnt "hash refusal" harsh "everything it okay" is "So we need to get those feather’s fixed." feathers "But preperation’s aren’t quite done" preparations "had laid" had lain "Cooked was" Crooked "That’s our que,” cue, "ahead of here" her "The spaces set for their signatures was mystically receptive," were "my houses dedication to you all!” house's
Yessss! This is easily in my top three stories on the site (including SR as the same group), up there with Rites of Ascension and Sharing the Night. Every time it updates my nerdboner shoots to fullmast and I drop what I'm doing to read it.
Can't wait to see Hard Line make a fool of himself smacking his sword uselessly against Sunset.
ANd just like that, I am eagerly waiting for the next chapter and the confrontation to come
I'm imagining Hard Line as a smear on the wall with a melted sword in the center of it all and NMM just cursing up a storm.
Naturally.
Oh no.
You would.
The thing on the end of Minotaur arms.
Nice.
For odd reasons.
HAH!
You basically made him into Captain America?
HAH!
I see.
OOF! Shots FIRED.
Yeah, that's the reaction I expected. It bothers me that in American media, bullies are so prominent when I went my entire high school time without meeting one. Then again, at the one I went to, teachers actually gave a damn.
Not what she meant.
She's trying SO hard.
That sounds fun.
You should.
Oh wow...
Celestia needs therapy. And a big fucking hug.
Correct!
It really freaking is.
Sunset, not now.
Something something the past can hurt.
These 2 are great.
... Yeah, kids, can do unpleasant things to marriage.
That is FRIGHTENINGLY accurate.
A lot.
I, huh.
Fair.
GOOD.
HAH!
Probably.
So it does.
You are REALLY paranoid.
And you aren't helping.
This is going to end poorly.
... YOU need therapy too.
Oh hell.
And now I'm wondering if the Changlings are going to attack and screw over Nightmare's plan.
Not that it's a good one, unless it's making everyone utterly terrified of Sunset's power? Hard Line is a joke of the joke that is the guard.
With Sunset's word being given that she will go full God Empress at the first sign of trouble, it's going to be exciting to say the lest.
After that last section with Nightmare Moon, I feel obliged to go, "dun dun DUNNNN!!!!"
A couple of typos I noticed:
"dote" (It belongs to the mote/note/rote/tote/vote family of pronunciations, not boat/coat/goat/moat.)
aglow ("a-" and "glow", just like "aflame", "apace", "aboil", etc. where a- is a remnant of the Old English for in/on/at. "in glow")
9037211
Why do you do this?
Nightmare Moon
Suddenly a dozen pieces click into place. (Or was that already revealed? There’s a lot of story to this story.)
Nice we finally get a proper antagonist to the story and explain a lot about Sunset's being over written with gilt in her dreams by NMM. I wonder if Cadance is also influenced by the nightmare. I wonder if Sunset is already more powerful then NMM and the fact she doesn't give two rats ass about her and is an unknown variable that who can be as roughness and will react in strength of a hammer as she would, where Celestia would be more careful in her actions which NMM would more easily capitalize on that. It's nice to see that Shining has a second lease on his body heath and will be better to keep up with Sunset.
9037747
NMM is thinking to herself that in a direct confrontation, she would be a flea against Sunset's dragon lord. Sunset would win a straight up fight, there's no question about that in any canon you subscribe to, as she is currently holding the human EoH magic, which is the equivalent of the Rainbow Power EoH from Equestria. In the show, the Rainbow Power was able to cleanse Luna of Nightmare Moon in her own dream, which is...debate-ably canon to actually happening, but basically it's the same stuff set to a higher level. Also, the fact that Sunset is currently more powerful than Celestia is widely accepted; Celestia needed the EoH to win against NMM, and Sunset has them inside her.
This does bring up an interesting plot divergence, though. Celestia has told Cadence her plan is to die fighting NMM and Sunset would inherit Equestria. At her current power level, there is no possible way that would happen if Sunset was involved in the fight.
9037879
She most likely believes that if Sunset fights NMM the latter would become a smear on the ground. And she can't live with herself of she lets her daughter kill her sister.
There's also the possibility that for her the shoe didn't drop by her not realising that Sunset could simply play "stop hitting yourself" with NMM long enough for another solution to be procured. One thousand years of belief is hard to shake, after all.
Error detected. Recommend destruction.
Just noticed the update, dropping everything to read this. Project: Sunflower will have to wait.
9038086
No doubt, and Celestia has been distracted with actually having "friends" and her daughter getting into a new relationship as well, so she probably hasn't thought it through fully yet. Still, at some point, she's going to have to realize that there's no reason for her to die in the fight; we've already seen Celestia recognize the Elements when Sunset listed them off earlier, and I'm fairly certain it's going to come up between them at some point. But without needing to actually inherit Equestria, I'm interested to see what happens between Celestia and Sunset once that revelation happens.
Cadence: “Don’t hesitate Sunset.”
Sunset: “I promise I won’t.”
Hard Line: “HAVE AT Y-“
Horrible explosions, glass everywhere, various beings around Equestria start new religions based on The One Who Sets the Sun and her terrible fury.
And now, sports.
"She ah...wants to turn me into a filly again"
Isn't that backwards?
9037318
I'm pretty sure Nightmare Moon is aware of the changelings and probably allied with them, if not outright controlling/influencing them. They were part of the dream she sent Hard Line, after all.
I'm more curious about what kind of sword she expects him to use. On one hand, we're well aware that Celestia is keeping a small warehouse of doomsday devices and ancient artifacts right in the castle, and Nightmare Moon probably knows as well. On the other hand, one of the most dangerous of those didn't even last five minutes against Suntama the One Punch Horse.
If Hard Line even tries what NMM wants him to do, he will be nothing more than a pile of ash and that’s after what Sunset does to him.
I think NMM better not return when her 1,000 year exile ends, because she is going to get bucked up hard by Sunset and that’s probably before the Elements turn her back into Princess Luna.
The plot thickens and thickens and thickens some more. I'm at the edge of my literal and imaginary seat.
Dang, Cadence is right just not in the cause.
Seriously, this lets all blame Twilight and take the respossibility off of Sunset is frustrating. What is their game with this, viewing things so one sided and trying to get Sunset to view Twilight as evil.
As much as I love this story, I absolutely hate how both Cadence and Celestia have heaped all the blame of everything wrong with Sunset onto Princess Twilight. She's just a convenient scapegoat, seeing as she can't defend herself or her actions. It's especially hypocritical of Cadence after all her speeches and whatnot to Celestia.
9039818
9039991
Celestia explains some of her reasoning for that at the end of SR. Sunset had literally told her that she deserved to die, and it scared Celestia pretty badly, so she'll use anything she can think of to alleviate Sunset's guilt - same for Cadence.
I love how NMM even thinks any mortal pony can injure Sunset... She endured a full-power punch from herself, one strong enough to shake the ground, for goodness sake!
9040018
While understandable, this absolving of Sunset's guilt through putting the majority of the blame on Twilight and acting like Sunset is just some poor victim in all of this who isn't really responsible for her own actions just because she was hurt is ridiculous. That is a piss poor excuse and is a terrible use of twisted logic that could be applied to Upper Crust if we used this mental gymnastic of an excuse. "It isn't really my fault I drugged a guy and raped him to get half his money in child support, Its my parents for disowning me and essentially hurting me (even though it was my own actions that led to them doing that, but whateves I'm the victim wahh)"
9040018
Except that is only going to make things worse. The only way for Sunset to get better is to come to terms with her mistakes. That won't happen if everyone keeps blaming Twilight.
9040124
Actually that is the logic for the majority of the ponies
Luna: Nobody appreciated her doing the thing she was talented in. (which actually may be a reasonable explanation for temporary pony insanity considering what happened to Fluttershy five minutes after she saw animals during the Gala). But nobody blames her.
Twilight: Friends not paying attention to her made her start a riot with that doll. Plus, insanity plea.
Shining Armor: Actually has a legit reason since the changeling mind controlled him into weakening his shield.
Glimmer: Friend ran away and was left all alone, so had to become a dictator to make sure nobody else would escape!
Tempest Shadow: Horn broke and some guy she met in a dark alley said he could fix it if she sold out her country.
Sombra: Even he has a pony to blame someone else for his actions in the comics
And yes, Upper Crust did use the victim defense as her reason for what she did.
It's common theme for ponies to play the blame game or victim card. Although for the most part, the pony takes responsibility for her actions and before someone else comes up and goes, "Oh no, it's really X's fault you did that." Upper Crust just blamed someone else straight out.
Tjhis is also happening with Sunset. However, every time she starts to work herself out of the pit she's in, Nightmare Moon comes back and goes "no it's your fault" in the most traumatic way possible, making the cycle start all over again, or they run into something that reminds Sunset of the past like the fillies and slip a bit into her bad habits but to a much lesser degree.
9040358
Wow, a response from the author, I feel honored.
...Your right and that is not good.
Still though, its frustrating that this blame game is still being passed around, take some reasonability ponies. I know its difficult, but saying you are not at fault for the horrible things you did, that creates a narcissist. Saying Sunset isn't responsible because she got hurt and trying to pin the blame all on Twilight isn't helping and how they haven't gotten this yet is beyond me. Nothing good will come from this.
Oh well, sooner or later something has to give.
You deserved it, Sunnybuns.
Even if the alternative was seventy or eighty years of Rainbow Dash bragging about beating Princess Celestia in a flying race.
Cheating against fillies. Tsk, tsk!
I could have told you that'd be her response to that little crack, Cadey-wadey.
Ap! Stop right there, missy! Do we need to bring Cadence back in here to warm some flanks again?
9040203
Agreed, it's not a long-term solution, and Cadence acknowledges that and tries to work on some other methods of getting Sunset to forgive herself (dom and humiliation in the bedroom to a degree). It seems likely they're using it in the short-term just to get Sunset into a place where she can even start recovering from it.
In what chapter did Sunset deal with NMM?
Great chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing Hardline inevitably destroy himself. I'm also looking forward to whatever you do with Nightmare Moon since it appears she will be replacing Chrysalis at the coronation. Lastly, I'm hoping Sunset, Cadance, and Celestia eventually reconcile with Princess Twilight soon enough.
Sticking Sunny with a sword is what is know as "a very bad idea."
First, assuming Hard Line successfully attacks Sunset, either his sword fails to actually pierce Sunset's skin or it succeeds. Let's call these scenarios A and B, respectively.
Second, after an attempt to kill Sunset many other things will happen, the specifics of which depend on multiple variables. Let's label these various permutations with a number.
A1: The sword glances off of Sunny's hide. Sunset is amused and tells the Captain that his act of fealty didn't quite feel genuine enough. Then she proceeds to do something ridiculous and ridiculously OP, as usual.
A2: The sword glances off of Empress Sunset's royal hide. She is not amused. After a flash of light Captain Hard Line is never heard from again, but on sleepless nights, when you are far from another soul and certain that you are alone, you might sometimes imagine that you can hear the echoes of his distant screams coming from the deepest and darkest of shadows.
A3: The sword glances off of Sunset's sheer level of OPness. She immediately suspects changeling infiltration and, for the completely wrong reason, finds traces of mental magic on the Captain. Sunset then proceeds to put on her bug-stompin' boots.
A4: The sword glances off of Sunset. Celestia instantly turns the Captain into a greasy spot on the floor.
B1: The sword pierces Sunny's chest. Sunset looks down at the sword and then gives Hard Line an epic level frown.
"This is not an acceptable act of fealty. I'll have to think something up for you to do at a later time."
Then she continues the ceremony.
The hilt sticking out of her chest makes some of the ponies moderately uncomfortable.
B2: The sword pierces Empress Sunset's chest. She starts glowing. After a few moments the hilt clatters to the floor, globs of molten metal splash around it as what is left of the blade dribbles out of the wound before it seals itself. Light, echoes, screams, deepest shadow, yadda, yadda.
B3: The sword pierces Sunset's chest. She pulls it out, heals the wound, and sends Hard Line to the dungeon.
B4: The sword pierces Sunset's chest. Sunset dies. The only reason Hard Line doesn't immediately join her is because Princesses Celestia and Cadence want to explain their displeasure with him at length. Equestria enters an age of darkness. Nightmare Moon arrives and is hailed as the saviour of pony kind, or at least as the lesser evil.
9045703
This reads like a DM scenario sheet.
"Sunset is not amused"
lol
I can't help but notice that Nightmare Moon didn't so much as mention Princess Twilight. It's a bit unclear whether she'd be Sunset's magical equal, but if she noticed another Alicorn showing up out of nowhere, one would expect it would affect her plan. It could be that Nightmare Moon just didn't notice—she didn't seem to know what was going on at first in the timeline where she won—or maybe Princess Twilight and Starlight just haven't landed yet. They were supposed to arrive on the day of the Sonic Rainboom. It could be that the orange blur Twilight saw was Sunset going even further back into the past than she did.
It's really just idle speculation at this phase, but I enjoy idle speculation.
9055402
Sonic Rainboom hasn't happened yet.
Sunset would receive no rest tonight and come the morrow, she would be slow and ponderous, her mind balanced on a razor’s edge. The perfect position to provide ample opportunity for Nightmare Moon’s pawn to...fulfill his task.
Having got no sleep last night Sunset freezes time and takes a 3 month nap.
Take that NMM!
Aaah, after reading your Changeling Queen series, I just had to check these out once they came to my attention, and I was not disappointed in the least. You've made me love the Sunset/Cadance/Shining Armor herd a great deal, and its fascinating to see how their emotions play out and the roller coaster of their emotions. So much could be said, but I honestly enjoy this alternate history. A good What If...? in perfect detail. Because Sunset might have indeed embarked on such a situation had the fates not intervened... and realizing she might have ended up in the loving forelegs of Cadance and Shining Armor, my favorite pony couple, makes me smile.
She deserves love and tenderness and affection.
I look forward to seeing what happens, and the changes that will spiral out from this. Of course, there is a major event that needs to play out, and the wonder of it, the possibilities of change and different paths of destiny... the Rainboom is coming, will it grant the six their cutie marks and unite them in their destiny? Chrysalis is watching. Will her hidden agent be discovered? I'm onto you, Mare. The Hour of Nightmare Moon's release draws near...
I look forward to seeing what comes of this as much as I hope to one day see you continue the Changeling Queen story.
Thanks for writing this! Its been wonderful and can't wait for more!
then
_____________
of
___________
the
___________
Where does she say that? In the dialog above she never mentions anything about the strain on the relationship, or failing to hold it together.
_____________
the way
____________
insistent
_______________
of
_________
whorse
the word you're looking for is whorse.
___________
9066782
While I do agree with the sentiment. This is more than a simple 'What if?'. This AU's past and preset (up to Friendship Games) is radically different from canon in lots of ways. Many, many, many variables of canon needed to be different for this to be a thing (including but not limited to using the butchery and fanon that is the Comics (Hasbro confirmed that the comics are not canon. Someone just paid them the rights to use their characters and brand.)).
That said, as an AU. With an unknown amount of changes to the past. Both naturally occurring, and from Starlight Glimmer raping timelines. This is an amazing read, and I enjoy rereading both fics when I have the free time.
Am I the only one that thinks petrifying Upper Crust is beyond the pale? Because she's just a teenager? She was raised wrong and then her parents (who raised her like that) kicked her out because she was acting like she was raised. They kicked her out so that they wouldn't be punished, and she was no longer of use in their marriage plans, that's reprehensible. There are so many better things available with magic that could correct the situation than using a punishment reserved for Discord who did a lot more harm than Upper Crust. Not only that they're going to let her have the child then stone her? That's just abominable. Making her a scullery maid for the castle and being ordered around by the nobles would be more fitting as well as some community service. She might, I say might, even become a nice pony eventually. Diamond Tiara eventually got straightened out and I thought that was impossible.
*She was a selfish, self-absorbed hose*
Well, to think NMM thinks of Celestia as a gardening implement...
9096812
I agree completly
9096812
9127637
Thirded. Does Equestria not have normal prisons for her to be incarcerated in? Actually, from what Sunset said, it sounds like the ponies don't even have lawyers. I shudder to think what passes for due process in Equestria.
9135418
A Zone of Truth, or Truth Potion / Spell is all they'd need actually. No need for lawyers, due process, etc. A simple bit of magic is all that it'd take to know if someone was truly guilty. In someways it's easier than what we have, costs less money, and sees less innocent people behind bars (not 100% since there are memory alteration spells, or a pony truly believing what they are saying, even if false. But less).
And there sentence thing seems to be a bit wonky. With outside of extreme circumstances (that'd land you in a cell), it's either built around to reform and give additional chances to be a better pony. Or you get turned to stone.
9191068
Putting aside the need for lawyers outside of criminal trials. Wouldn't the potential use of memory alteration spells completely nullify the admissibility of any truth/lie detection magic? For example, I could envision a scenario where the guilty party could have their own memory altered to create an alibi. Or, more horrifically, a husband could be framed for their spouse's murder by having their memory forcibly altered or erased. Both of these scenarios further highlights the need for a thorough investigative process as well as the need for an attorney tasked with defending the accused.
9096812>
Considering that Upper Crust is a rapist I honestly don't have any sympathy for her.
Rapists deserve whatever they get and worse.
9096812
Tbh, a part of me agrees that petrification may be a tad bit overkill. And I do agree that it's the fault of the parents.
But on the other hoof, she mind raped a pony to get his fortune so she would never have to work (the reason she did the mind rape in the first place). And has proven time and time again she has no compassion for anyone, or anything but herself. And would be more than willing to harm, destroy, or torment anyone who got in her way.
Community Service sadly wouldn't have done her a lick of good (Cadance started the work towards doing that for her, and was setting her up to succeed if she worked hard), showing her the consequences of her actions (ala Starlight Glimmer, and DT) wouldn't have mattered (as shown by her using a love potion and pregnancy potion to do an attempted robbery of an stallion. Because Cadance had the "audacity" of saying she would help Upper Crust get a job. Where she'd have to "work for a living"), and the EoH can't cleanse her (since she hasn't turned into a literal monster).
So yeah, they needed a punishment to make doing that far worse than the crime as a detriment. But they could've probably thought of something slightly less horrible than turned to stone ... but at the same time, nothing comes to mind. Especially since the lesser punishments wouldn't have worked.
9040358
Sorry, but I don't think your response is on point. There's a difference between on the one hand the examples you gave where some ponies may have been given slack because of something that precipitated the bad behavior, and on the other hand actually shifting all blame to the thing that precipitated the bad behavior. To use one of your examples, I can't recall anyone other than Starlight herself blaming Sunburst for Our Town, do you?
Cadance, the sex session you just had was entirely your idea and you took the lead every step of the way.
Speaking of Cadance being weird, I don't see how locking Upper Crust up for a year before petrifying her is that cruel. If you never reverse the petrification it's functionally the same as an execution. I think most people would choose an extra year of life even if it was in prison. Maybe it's a pony thing. And hey, maybe the situation will develop in such a way that a lesser punishment than petrification becomes sufficient.
And the rest from mobile.
Corrections offered without malice.
long blurb "celebrate it's new princess" its
short blurb lacks its period
ch1 "Going the two of us in reality with " I can't parse this.
"your...pony...princess...plump...plot" princess's
"impacking" impacting
"pittible" pitiable
"pump mare" plump
"this weeks schedule," week's
"about turning down sex was a bad thing. " about how
"whos family title" whose
"wince the the sting "
"threw you needs" your
"centres of negotiation" centuries
"Let’s be honest Celestia, " honest,
"along with Cadance panic" Cadance's
"have very simply solutions. " simple
"curiosity peaked" piqued
"absolvement" absolution
"not my proudest moment" Not
"repete" repeat
"when you one the wrestling match,” you won the
"internally groan" This usage grinds my gears.
"after its done. " it's
"dias" daïs
"Nothing could possibly go wrong." Cut to mushroom cloud stock footage. …okay, this is much better. Nicely averted. Another Element, completely separated from how they'd go.
"a mite to young" too
"her parents faces." parents'
ch2
"had born such wonderful fruit" borne
"AJ parents" AJ's
"before to Sunset " before [verb]ing to Sunset
"when reality remind her " reminded
"on a ground society-level scale " grand, society-level
"convect of multiple partners!" concept
"to talk bad about Sunset" to badmouth Sunset
"been geassed" geas isn't a verb. "had a geas laid upon her" perhaps
"paralisis" paralysis
(some of these make me think you never had an automated spellcheck)
"all important" all-important
“Is that why she always has all those ponies with the trumpets and loud voices announce her all the time?”
You made me laugh rather loud at 0200!
"creture’s" creatures
"them sprung" sprang
"Not if it’s played by a princess, see?” Wow. Royal Privilege in card games.
"pegasis" pegasus
"the didn’t" they
"transmitted into a piece of clean parchment. " transmuted
"punishing creature’s" creatures
"amesia" amnesia
"caltrip" caltrop
"then let out a long exhale." Exhale is not a noun. "then exhaled at length."
"festivals been ruined! " festival's
"marehandeled" marehandled
Are we going to need to have angry words with Celestia?
"wince had Sunset doubled " which
"marehandeling" marehandling
"truely" truly
"extreeting" excreting
"making Sunset pulled " pull
"explain to hear" to her
"Chrysalysis" Chrysalis
"Chrysilysis" Chrysalis
"mental facilities" mental faculties
"least.m" least.
ch3?
"Crumbels " Crumbles
"dirk" dirt
“Mare too,” Cheerilee said. (er, Mare who?)
"mare’s blinked" mares
"give him another queue" cue
"que laughter " cue
"While it might have appear" delete 'have'
"way she wants them too" to
"spell let me expedience" experience
"pegasai" pegasi
ch4: posted
ch5:
"Princes Celestia" Princess
"even the there" even then
"fuz" fuzz
"Princes Sunset" Princess
"ran he tongue" her
«Ah, so…”» needs opening quote
"screaming their houses" to their houses
«end.“I’m» needs a space
"cut lose" loose
mouth. “”If» delete one quote
"the pink princesses expression" princess's
"Servent" Servant (twice)
"dias" dais (multiple locations)
"pidgeon" pigeon
"psycho-amalyzy" analyzy
"you so instant" insistent
"then Sunset magic could" Sunset's
"posting up up" delete one up
"burry" bury
"surely the end up Equestria. " end of Equestria.
"as yet another pony that was ten steps above Sunset’s proper station." missing verb at end
"shinned" shone
"self-absorbed hose " horse
ch6
"unlit pire" pyre
"what you’re idiocy" your
"burt skin" burnt
"hash refusal" harsh
"everything it okay" is
"So we need to get those feather’s fixed." feathers
"But preperation’s aren’t quite done" preparations
"had laid" had lain
"Cooked was" Crooked
"That’s our que,” cue,
"ahead of here" her
"The spaces set for their signatures was mystically receptive," were
"my houses dedication to you all!” house's