• Published 12th Nov 2017
  • 927 Views, 49 Comments

Jack Spicer's Quest to Conquer Equestria - CrazedLaughter



Jack Spicer and Wuya are teleported to Equestria after a fight with Omi and his friends. Jack, using his evil genius, plots a magnificent and fool proof plan to take over the new land he finds himself in. Also Wuya is there.

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Chapter 5 - "Get to Work, Dragon!"

Jack carried off Spike to the abandoned castle in the forest.

Try as he might. The wayward baby dragon was unable to claw his way out. His small flames couldn't even make a burn mark on the fibers of the net.

Any insult Spike gave to Jack was met with him shaking the net in his hands to shut him up. He didn't want to deal with any replying at the moment. In case a monster from the forest showed up from nowhere and knocked him out of his flight path

Luckily for Jack, he managed to get back to the castle unscathed and tosses the netted dragon to a corner as he shook his hands, trying to get feeling back in them from carrying such a load. "ugh, you're pretty heavy for a small fry, you know that?"

Spike just crossed his arms and sat down while in the net, giving Jack the stink eye.

"I know that look. But sorry to break it to you lizard lips but you're mine now. Unfair but square. I went through a lot of trouble to capture you!" Jack said as he took out his own Shen Gong Wu and placed them on a table to lighten his weight. "So don't whine and do your job!"

Spike raised an eyebrow. Did he seriously get captured and have to watch his best friend get zapped because this guy needed a personal assistant? "You have to be KIDDING ME! YOU BARGED IN AND ATTACKED TWILIGHT...JUST FOR AN ASSISTANT?! YOU MONSTER!”

Jack just turned to him, smiled and bowed "Thank you, I try to keep my evil rep as high as possible. NOW GET TO WORK! I got robot making to do!"

Spike tried to get up to him to attack, but the net itself seemed fixed on it's position "IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO WRITE ANY LETTERS FOR YOU OR GET YOU NEW QUILLS, YOU GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!"

"letters? Quills? What? Don't play dumb with me dragon. I know what you are! now get to sensing some Shen Gong Wu or whatever you call it in this world!" Jack told Spike

Spike was getting confused, he had no idea what Jack was talking about "Shen Gong What? I don't even..." Spike couldn't even figure out what was the point of capturing him for something he knew doesn't exist in this world. Furthermore, Spike started to realize where he was taken to "....are you just insane? or stupid?"

Jack felt a flash of anger at such an insinuation and pointed his finger directly at Spike "Watch who you're talking to, I'm trying to be a little nice in hopes you see things my way. But things can get ugly...oh ho...you can bet one way or another, I'm gonna get what I need from you."

Spike just gave him an arrogant and confident smile "I don't hear a no"

"THATS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME TIME TO...GRRR..FINE, I TRIED TO BE NICE.....JACKBOTS, PERSUADE THIS PIPSQUEAK TO GIVE UP THE GOODS!!!"

Spike just looked around, expecting something to pop out since they were at Jack's "Homebase"......but nothing happened.


"uhhh..." Spike looked around, then he whispered to himself "definitely insane."

Jack, once again making a fool of himself, tries to make the best recovery he can muster "I-I mean they will eventually force you to do what I want...uhmm..later...they went out for coffee...So don't go sitting there thinking they don't exist. BECAUSE THEY DO! So you better be scared dragon, oh so scared, SUPER SCARED. Think about that before you cross someone like me again! huh! HMM!"

Spike just looks at him like he's crazy

Jack didn't know what else to say, and he didn't want his prisoner thinking he had nothing to actually threaten him with...at least not at the moment. Jack just blinked, quietly turned around, and went to gather more knight armor to use to make a second Knightbot.

Spike just took his claw and span it around the side of his own head, silently whispering "crraazzyyyy"

Spike wasn't very scared of his predicament at all at this point. Not only did his captor seem dumb, meaning he probably only got lucky against Twilight. But the screwball set his "home base" in the former castle of the two sisters. Which meant, sooner or later. His friends would show up for a "visit". The only thing he couldn't figure out was how he easily deflected Twilight's spell. It looked like he used some sort of mirror. But. Mirrors don't deflect spells like that.

Then suddenly, Spike began to cringe as Jack started to sing. "You put the screw in there and you put the bolt in here, you put the node right there and you shake it all about. You do the Jacky Spicer and you kick Omi in the face! That's what it's all about. Come on Ev....oh right..." Jack immediately stopped singing after that verse, he kept forgetting he had no actual company.

Jack continued working on his Knightbot. He planned to use it as his personal guard until the CMC could get him the scraps he needed to build his army. But as he worked on it, he noticed his little prisoner hasn't had any kind of usual Shen Gong Wu reaction yet. "Hey! What's taking you so long. You should have sensed something by now!"

Spike was still confused by this "sensing" stuff "I don't know who you think I am but I have NO idea what you're talking about. Maybe we should get you back to Ponyville to get you to a doctor...possibly a psychiatrist."

Jack stopped what he was doing and walked up to Spike "Listen here small fry, dragons are known to to be able to sense all kinds of magical artifacts! So if you think you're gonna fool me. You can forget it. I know you know what Shen Gong Wu are, and I'm going to prove it right now....by giving you a chance to escape."

Spike said nothing, this guy was clearly off his rocker.

Jack smirked as he went to grab his monkey staff and dropped it in front of Spike to grab within the open holes of the net. "This Shen Gong Wu will help you escape by allowing you to make that tail of yours well...longer and monkeyish.." Jack then tossed his keys to the floor, just out of reach of Spike, "I know you wanna get out little man. Just use the staff to grab the keys to unlock the netlock and you're free to go." Jack smiled happily "I give you my word as a honorable Heylin"


Spike wondered if he should trust him...he reluctantly reached out for the staff and grabbed it.

Spike then began to inspect the staff. Looked a tad creepy, but whatever works. He uses the staff to grab the keys and drag it towards him "...well...that was easy"

"THA..WHAT NO!" Jack smacked the keys away from spike "You can't do it that way!"

Spike glared at him, anger in his words "BUT YOU SAID IF I COULD GET THE KEYS I'M FREE TO GO!"

Jack snarled "ONLY IF YOU DID IT RIGHT, YOU GOTTA USE THE STAFF!"

"I DID USE THE STAFF!" Spike Yelled

"YOU GOTTA USE IT RIGHT!" Jack retorted

"ooooohhh.....you mean...LIKE THIS!" Spike revved up for a swing and hit Jack right at the knee cap with the staff, making him scream out like a little girl and fall over. holding his knee.

"ooowwiiiiaaahhh...w..WHY DID YOU...OH NO NOT THE FACE!" Before Jack could pull up his hands to block. Spike had managed to beat on his face with the staff....repeatedly. Every hit making Jack squeal in pain.

After a few hits, Jack managed to roll and crawl away. Holding his face as lumps formed. "O...oo..OWie!!..Y-You'll PAY FOR THAT....owww!..mmgh" Jack began to cry "B-b-but later!..I...I gotta go put ointment on my face.."

Jack crawled away and out of the room as Spike chuckled. "ha..that was pretty fun."

once Jack was out of the room, Spike noticed he had left the keys. "too easy, ha." Spike used the staff to once again bring it over. He grabbed the keys and quickly put it in the lock of the net....but it didn't unlock it...the key was a fake.

Spike grumped and tossed the key aside "figures..."

Jack was huddled over in another room, rubbing his face. Sadly, he had not brought any ointment with him. He was looking through the reversing mirror "...oh man..why did he have to hit my moneymaker like that? Stupid dragon, oygh.."

Jack slowly got back up, taking a deep breath to try to get over the pain. "I hope those three little ponies are doing a good job...they're so cute! I think it'll actually be nice to have them around as generals once I get my evil plan underway....What were their names again? Pineapple?..Creepy Smell? and umm...Shootapoop? Bah whatever, I can ask them when I see them again. Back to business."

With one more rub of his face, Jack went back into the main room where the thrones were and continued his work on the Knightbot. Spike at this point was trying to get some sleep, since he wasn't going anywhere


Unfortunately, Jack's workings were keeping him awake "Can you keep it down? I'm trying to get some sleep over here!"

"Shut it scales! I'm the evil mastermind here! So what I say goes around here!" Jack told him as he began to solder some metal.

Spike just grumbled...covering his ears

Jack just continued his work. He was going to give this knightbot a mace this time. To bash those wolf monsters into dust. They couldn't reform then...or so he hoped.

Spike was getting restless. He was trying to come up with a way to keep him quiet. Then..it hit him. "WOOOAHH...I'M SENSING A SHEN....SOMETHING!"

Jack stopped and immediately grinned as he rushed up to Spike "YOU ARE?! QUICK! WHERE IS IT?! TELL ME!"

Spike smirked "You really wanna know?"

"DUH! NOW OUT WITH IT SHORTSTUFF!" Jack barked

Spike waved at him to come closer "psst, come closer, don't need anypony else to hear right?"

Jack, aside from wondering what the heck "anypony" meant, did consider there might be spies about. And moved closer to spike "..ok..so where is it?"

Spike smiled more evilly "closer man, closer."

Jack brought his face close to Spike's.

"Well....it's right..over..BWOOSH" Spike let out a wisp of flame onto Jack's hair. Immediately sending the evil boy genius into a panic.

"AHHHH MY HAIR! MY HAIR!!!" Jack ran around screaming, calling for help or water. He was so blinded by his hysteria that he tripped on a bucket by the wall, causing him to fall and hit his head, knocking him into a huge daze. The bucket then lands on his head...dousing him in a yellow liquid. "...wuah...that smells..like....oh..it's..my...pee.." Too dazed from the knock on the noggin, Jack falls unconscious in his own liquid waste. He had been using the bucket to take a piss, and possibly another for dumps. Scared to do it outside in the open incase anyone would see. Wuya gave him his privacy for it...for her own sanity.

Spike yawned with a small giggle "Well that shut him up...mnnn" He laid himself down on the net and tried to get cozy "...nothing to worry about...this guy is an idiot...you'll be rescued eventually Spike...mnn...I hope you're ok Twilight...don't worry too much about me...I'll be ok..."

and with that, Spike dozed off. The castle falling into complete silence.

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