• Published 12th Nov 2017
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Jack Spicer's Quest to Conquer Equestria - CrazedLaughter

Jack Spicer and Wuya are teleported to Equestria after a fight with Omi and his friends. Jack, using his evil genius, plots a magnificent and fool proof plan to take over the new land he finds himself in. Also Wuya is there.

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Chapter 17 - A Short Interlude

Jack left his lab throne to the chamber of gems where the white horse and Spike was at. having to have been consoled by his Jackbots to get over the stress of being a bad dancer. He had somewhere to be, and he wasn't going to let an insult get him down...well, he had to have help for that...but just the same..

He threw the doors open with both hands and took a deep breath "You smell that peons! That's the smell of sweet sweet evil coming to ruin everyone's day! That's right! Nothing can stop me now! Not even your stupid insults!"

Spike was too busy munching on a gem to care at the moment. The white horse however, lifted her sunglasses and spoke in protest "Nopony cares. You made me miss my gig, man!"

Jack walked up to her and smirked "And I care why? The only gig you'll be doing is at my coronation as Emperor of the World. And you're gonna be the key to it all!...you dig?" Jack snapped his fingers at her, with a smug look on his face.

"I ain't helping you with anything like that! And please...please..don't use words like that, you aren't really what I'd call..."cool" " The white horse used her hooves to make the quotations.

"Please, you don't have a choice. I don't know if you've realized it yet. But you're MY prisoner..so DEAL WITH IT!" Jack yelled at her with his final words, getting his spit on her sunglasses.

"ughh...say it, don't spray it" The white horse removed her sunglasses to wipe off the spit with her magic "Besides, if I'm your prisoner, then where is the grub?" she huffed on her sunglasses then wiped it again.

"Grub? Are you seriously asking me for food right now? How many times do I have to tell you!? I'm your captor, so I make the rules! GOT IT!?" Jack again, was starting to lose his temper with this uncooperative horse.

"Really good attitude,man. But let me ask ya a question. How am I suppose to "Do your bidding" if I'm dead from hunger?" The white horse looked to Spike "Does this guy understand the concept...of like...anything?"

Spike shook his head "I've been asking that question for a while now myself. Like, seriously. The only reason I have this food is because he forgot to tell his robot to STOP gathering gems. It's not half bad really. Once you get used to it." Spike munches on a gem "Vinyl, didn't you eat anything before he captured you? I mean, I'm sure he wasn't that hard to shove away while you got a bite to eat. I only got captured because he knocked Twilight out."

The white horse, Vinyl Scratch, shook her head "Nope, was too busy trying to relax. Had a gig to do until this joker showed up."

"Man that stinks, I bet all those ponies are gonna get really upset that you didn't show up." Spike frowned, those poor ponies.

"Hey! Evil boy Genius over here! Your future ruler! Probably not good to ignore him you know!" Jack was pointing to himself, giving them both a big stink eye.

"Yeah whatever. Make with the food already!" Vinyl barked back at him.

"What are you gonna do? smack me around again? I got my Jackbots in the next room ready to rough you up if you even think about it!" Jack warned her, with a smug smile. "So go ahead, try it. Let's see what happens."

Vinyl stayed silent for a moment, then started to whine, rolling her hoof along her stomach "Oh man...my stomach...ogghhh...If I don't get food soon. I'm going to waste away to nothing...oghhh...ahhh.."

Jack crossed his arms, standing his ground "Oh please, you know how many movies i've watched to know how stupid that kind of ploy is?"

Spike looked to Jack, raising a claw "Actually, she's being serious. Unicorns without food waste away into dust. fwoom" Spike snapped his claws "Just like that"

"What?!" Jack was surprised, that's pretty morbid "That can't be true!"

Vinyl whined "ooghhh...I can already feel my insides turning to salt..."

Jack suddenly got scared, He didn't know this was an actual thing. "You can't turn into dust! You're the only unicorn I could find that was easy to capture! I need you!"

Vinyl just whined, not even responding to him.

"Your choice dude, I mean, you got some time. But she won't last the night." Spike cautioned Jack.

"ngh.....nmmm..FINE!" Jack sighed "What do you stupid horses eat anyway, hay?"

Vinyl sprung back to life, giving Jack a smile "I'll take a couple of hayburgers, a drink..Either Apple Cider or Equine Delight Diet...gotta watch my figure you know....Some good ole fries...and a slice of pie..I'm not too picky on the flavor really. You got that?" Vinyl smiled at him

Jack was writing it down "fries...and pie...yeah I got it...what do you want pipsqueak?" Jack pointed his pencil at Spike

Spike just looked at the pile of gems, then back to Jack "I'm good, don't want to stress you out or anything."

"Fine, but don't whine about it when I get back. Or I'll just kick you...or something..I dunno..." then Jack pointed his pencil at Vinyl "And you, if you turn to dust before I get back..I'm going to kill you! Got that?"

Vinyl just laid on her back and looked to the ceiling, chuckling "Loud and clear, also..you can take your time if you want. I don't really mind."

"I thought you said you'd turn to dust if you didn't eat" Jack reminded her

"Yeah, but...I dunno...Unicorns also turn to dust when they get bothered by evil boy geniuses too much. Besides, I can wait it out a little bit..Sheer willpower is a great thing." Vinyl said as she closed her eyes behind her shades.

"THAT DOESN'T"T EVEN MAKE SENSE! HOW MANY EVIL BOY GENIUSES WOULD A UNICORN EVEN RUN INTO!?" Jack was befuddled, He had never heard such nonsense. He then turned to Spike "TELL ME SHE'S MAKING THAT UP!"

Spike shrugged "Hey man, I don't make the rules."

"..ugh...whatever! Normally, annoying a pony like you would be awesome! Because..you know! I'm annoying on purpose to make my enemies suffer! HAHAHAHAH!" Jack cackled

"Yeah..but...you apparently need me for something. So you're just being the normal kind of annoying. The kind of annoying that really kills a party, ya know?" Vinyl lifted her shades slightly to show him she was physically annoyed.

Jack activates his helipack, growling at Vinyl "under normal circumstances, I would have turned you into dust just for the fun of it! Consider how lucky you are that you're important to my grand master plan! G-got it!?"

Vinyl just turned and waved her hoof at him "Yeah yeah, sheesh. Just go already" Vinyl shooed him away

Jack groaned, he didn't know what more to say without risking turning her to dust. He didn't even know how he'd get the food. He hoped the CMC were at the clubhouse, so he could give them Vinyl's order for them to hunt down. He huffed, knowing he could do nothing else, and flew off.

Vinyl waited for him to leave before turning to Spike "Is that guy always so gullible?"

Spike shrugged "Couldn't tell you, haven't been here long. I only know that he's pretty dumb. Nothing to worry about."
Vinyl wrapped her left hindleg over her right and sighed "So....do we just wait here? or is there something fun to do?"

Spike sat down, chewing on a gem. "Well there's this robot I talk too, He's Scavengerbot number two, pretty nice guy. We could set up a game of ponecheesi, or play charades or something."

"Sounds like a plan little man, set it up!" Vinyl pointed her hooves at Spike as a gesture, smiling at him.

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