• Published 12th Nov 2017
  • 927 Views, 49 Comments

Jack Spicer's Quest to Conquer Equestria - CrazedLaughter



Jack Spicer and Wuya are teleported to Equestria after a fight with Omi and his friends. Jack, using his evil genius, plots a magnificent and fool proof plan to take over the new land he finds himself in. Also Wuya is there.

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Chapter 28 - Raiding Wuya's Castle

meanwhile in the depths of Wuya's castle. In the dungeons.

Spike was bouncing a ball off the wall of his cage. "Ugh.."

Vinyl was putting her horn on the stone bars of her cage. emitting sparks "come on....."

Fluttershy was in a cage with one of Jack's Robots, it was Scavenger bot 2. "I must say, you are very kindly for a...uhm...robot. But I think you should eat this, to conserve your strength" She was trying to pass a small bowl of hay to him.

"Do not worry. I do not need to engage in normal consummation of foodstuff to operate. It will be better if you eat it." He was sputtering. It seemed he had taken a small beating at some point. Probably from Wuya. He was the only survivor of the purge. Probably only kept in operation for later use.

"Are you sure?" Fluttershy asked, not knowing anything about machines.

"Affirmative" Said the Jackbot

"o-ok" Fluttershy began eating

Then suddenly Fluttershy's ear perked up, as she heard a small whirring sound "does anypony else hear that?"

"Yeah, it's the sound of us going crazy....come on..come on.." Vinyl wasn't making any progress.

"No no...shhh.." Fluttershy put her ear to the ground. "....it's coming from below"

Spike got up and looked through his bars, he didn't see anything "Below? Fluttershy..I don't think we can get lower than this."

"no..I definitely hear something.....and it's getting closer....oh no..." Fluttershy began to get nervous.

Vinyl stopped her breakout and listened "now that you mention it. There is a really nasty beat coming from somewhere....hmmm"

Spike started to get excited "Maybe it's somepony coming to rescue us. FREEDOM AT LAST!"

Suddenly, from the ground. Jack came bursting through. Crawling out of the hole and spitting out dirt.

Spike's feelings instantly became opposite of what he was was previously feeling.
" OH COME ON! DON'T TELL ME WERE ABOUT TO GET REPONYNAPPED! HOW COULD THIS GET ANY WORSE!" Spike said as he threw his hands into the air.

As Jack was adjusting, hitting his ear to knock out the dirt from his ear form the long trip. Pinkie popped her head out from the hole "Wow, now I know how a mole feels!"

"Pinkie?" Spike said "What are you doing here....with him?"

"Oh it's not just me, Applejack is here to-whooop!" Pinkie suddenly found herself being pushed out of the hole as Applejack popped her head out to take a breath "Ahhh! Wheeewie, that was a trip! Did we make it?
Applejack turned her head to see Fluttershy, the jackbot, Vinyl, and Spike in their cages. "You're all here. Thank goodness... Don't worry ya'll, we'll get ya out!"

Fluttershy was overjoyed "It's good to see you all! Does that mean Wuya listened to reason and stopped being evil? It was so surprising when she suddenly decided to pay a visit and well....ponynap me"

"Hate to break it to ya sugarcube, but she did a lot more than just ponynappin', Equestria ain't lookin too good right now" Applejack said as she bucked at the cage bars, shattering them with a mighty kick.

"Oh my....what's happened? And who is that?" Fluttershy said as she walked over to Jack to introduce herself.

"Don't go near that guy Fluttershy! That's Jack! The stupid evil guy I was telling you about!" Spike yelled to her for her safety.

Jack was still busy getting dirt out of ears, they were also ringing from having to listen to so much drill noise from the trip from Twilight's castle to this one. He wasn't hearing anything that was going on.

Jack looked towards Spike and gave him a thumbs up "Yeah! We've come to rescue you!" He yelled, unable to hear his own voice.

Applejack then wrecked Spike's cage bars.

Fluttershy walked up to Jack, a little timid to know this was the person who had caused such trouble. "But...he doesn't look that bad, especially since he came with Applejack and Pinkie Pie...Umm...h-hello, I'm Fluttershy." She greeted Jack


Jack span his finger in his ear, then looked down at Fluttershy "What are you looking at me for? Get out of here you dumb horse, we just freed you. go on, shoo!" Jack was motioning her to leave as his hearing started coming back.

Fluttershy gave Jack a sad look as she backed up "There's no reason to call me such a bad name...I was just saying hello"

"Hello?" Jack said, confused

"Yes hello" Fluttershy said back

"No, I mean...is that what you were telling me?" Jack inquired

"Why yes, I was. I just wanted to say hi. And..umm...how are you today?" Fluttershy said, trying to give him a peaceful smile.

"are you serious? We don't have time for this! Just get in that hole and get out of here! all of you! Jack stammered, pointing at the hole. It was obvious he was still upset. Fluttershy could tell something was wrong.

Applejack then freed Vinyl, Spike meanwhile, hopped out of his cage and pointed at Jack "What's his problem, Applejack? You guys are aware he's the guy who ponynapped us all right?"

"ohh ohh, I got this!" Pinkie hopped up in front of Spike to explain, making him step back in surprise. Suddenly Pinkie entered a super fast expository speech about everything that has happened from her viewpoint. Taking super quick breaths every few sentences.

Everyone in the room was taken aback, even Jack.

"did everypony get that? Or should I say it again" Pinkie smiled

"n-no, I think I got it....but.." Spike looked to Jack then back to Pinkie "You're telling me this moron is here to help save Equestria?...are you sure he's not just leading you all into a trap? I mean, it'd be pretty easy to tell"

Jack was walking towards the dungeon steps. Then looked back the moment Spike finished those words "Think whatever you want. I don't have time for this...Let's just kick Wuya's butt already."

As Jack walked up the steps, Spike found his reaction confusing "Geez, what's his problem?"


"Ah know it's gonna sound strange, but he's havin' some friendship problems" Applejack said, feeling sympathetic after seeing how things went sour for him.

".....and everypony should care why?...he's a bad guy...you guys know that right?" Spike was in disbelief, he was sure he was just tricking his friends.

"Ah know how yer probably feelin' right now Spike, I was right there with ya. But if ya saw what ah saw. You'd feel mighty sad for him too. The fella may be bad. But surprisingly,he's got a heart somewhere down there...and it's sorta crushed right now" Applejack told Spike

"annnnnnnnd?" Spike was rolling around his hand "I ask again....everypony should care why?"

"Spike, just get in that there hole and get outta here. We don't got time to be explaining everything right now" Applejack pointed to the hole

"nu uh! Now that i'm outta that cage, I wanna show at least somepony a piece of my mind!" Spike said as he flexed his arm. "You guys might need some of my firepower!"

Applejack sighed, stayed silent for a moment, then spoke "Rarity is evacuating the townsponies on her own and might need you in case she gets ambushed"

"WHAT?!?! YOU GUYS LEFT RARITY BY HERSELF?! SHE CAN'T DO THAT KIND OF THING ON HER OWN! THATS A LOT OF PONIES TO MANAGE!" Spike yelled, freaking out.

"then ya better get going then" Applejack lowered her head to his, her eyes halfcocked.

"DON'T WORRY RARITY! I'M COMING!" Spike said as he jumped into the hole.

Vinyl walked up to Pinkie "yo, hey. Sorry I missed the party" She rubbed the back of her head "sooooooorta was tied up with other things"

Pinkie gave her a smile and a hug "It's no biggie, party was cancelled due to a nasty case of evil. You're good."

"Right right..heh..you don't mind if I get outta here do ya?Fighting ain't really my jam, you won't think bad of me, will ya?" Vinyl said, feeling bad she wanted to leave. But she knew she couldn't handle anything this insane.

"It's ok, but do you mind keeping an eye on Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked, her expression unchanging, she was ok with Vinyl leaving

"an eye on me? You're not going to ask me to leave...are you?" Fluttershy asked, it didn't seem she wanted to leave.

"Sorry sugarcube, but things are gonna get hairy pretty quick. And we don't want ya to get hurt" Applejack told her, showing concern

"..mmmm..surely we can reason with Wuya? She seemed so nice" Fluttershy wanted to solve the issue without a fight.

"Ain't gonna happen. Wuya is bad to the bone. Even managed to crush that there Jack's feelings. She's got none of her own. Hate to say it, but she can't be helped. She's worse than even those dang ole' changelings."

Fluttershy looked down, feeling sad "B-but, if what you say about Jack is true, then sure-"

"Ain't gonna happen Fluttershy, sorry. She wasn't anypony's friend. She just wanted to use us to get what she wanted. ah think right now she and Twilight are dukin' it out. So we gotta hurry. Just get outta here ok? We'll take care of that no good Wuya"

Fluttershy reluctantly nodded. She didn't want to necessarily leave. But she didn't want to argue with her friend either. And if Twilight was in danger. Then things were serious. "Alright,but please please please please please pleaseeeee be careful. Ok? Pinkie, you too"

They both nodded

"Don't worry about us, as long as we all have our backs. Then nopony is going to stop us!" Pinkie Pie assured Fluttershy.
With that, Vinyl and Fluttershy exited through the hole.
The Jackbot had nothing to say as he exited, he only silently set his mission to protect his new friends.

Jack was already up the steps, looking down a hallway, there seemed to be a labyrinth ahead of him. "where's that good for nothing Good version of me?"


Suddenly, he could hear a couple of voices coming down one of the hallways.

Jack hid to the side, it was a couple of diamond dogs. Seemed they were talking about how teaming up with Wuya may have been a bad idea. Since they'd have to go up against the entirety of Equestria. They thought she was crazy.

Jack let them pass, then behind them, he could hear another voice. he looked over to see what it was, as it sounded familiar

"let's see, and if I go that way, it should lead me here...so if I got everything mapped correctly, turning the corner here should take me to the....OH HI JACK! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU ALREADY GOT HERE!" Good Jack had just turned the corner, and waved to his good self

"Get over here!" Jack pointed straight down, to signify him to step forward.

Good Jack rushed up "Alrighty! I got the whole castle mapped out! Aren't you proud?"

"What? Of something I could do? No, of course not. It's easy to do when nobody can see you." Jack's tone was near venomous.

"...come on Jack...you don't need to be so harsh, I know what happened back there looked bad. But she'll come around. You just gotta be good!" Good Jack tried to raise the spirits of his other half.

Jack took his snare gun and shot at Good Jack, the net going right through him. He just gave a stoic stare ".....I wish that worked..."

Good Jack frowned "....come on...you gotta turn that frown upside down! You've bounced back before, everytime! You can do it again! Do it for Scoots!"

"Yeah, do it for Scoots...And tell me, why should I when she hates me, huh? Do me a favor and just do your job. And get us to the throne room without us getting torn up, alright? When this is all over, you're going to leave me alone so I can get back to doing what I do best. Got that?" Jack's expression was emotionless, his heart just wasn't in it.

"o-ok Jack...if that's what you want. Let's just wait for the others..ok?" Good Jack didn't know what else to say, and could just lament on the pain his other half was feeling.

"Ugh...fine...this is taking forever" Jack groaned.

Applejack and Pinkie made there way up the stairs. Pinkie waving to Good Jack. "heya other Jack..hey.." Pinkie noticed his less than jovial look "what's the matter?"

"I can't get Jack to cheer up" Good Jack said

"oh?...maybe a song will cheer him up? Do you want a song Jack?I got plenty of gooooood ones" Pinkie went and nudged at him, causing him to groan



"Er, ah don't think now is the time for a song and dance number. If Jack is right, Wuya is gettin more powerful by the minute. We better mosey as quick as we can." Applejack suggested

"Yeah, let's listen to the country bumpkin and everyone be quiet. I don't want to talk about anything other than the mission" Jack brought his face inches to his good self "Got that?"

Good Jack nodded, his frown only worsened "..you're right...I'll lead the way" Good Jack turned "Everypony follow me! Pinkie, can you relay everything I say to Applejack?"

Pinkie nodded "Of course! Come on Applejack, he wants us to go this way."

They started to follow good Jack down the corridors and stairways. Jack staying a little ways back from the group. "....look at him, not even fully here and still happy as a clam. I don't get it. He's just me, but without the class, the style. And yet nobody hates him.....Ok so I did lie...but come on, I saved Scoots life. That should be like, automatic forgiveness. But nooooooo, apparently being evil is a bad thing and should be condemned. Nobody can let me have my way."

"Welllll, if we let you have your way. how are you supposed to learn anything?" A voice said from Jack's side.

He turned and jumped back in surprise "You?!" It was Pinkie "but, weren't you just ahead..what?!...how did you get there!?"

"Well, you were kind of speaking out loud and you sounded kind of sad and good Jack said you were really feeling awful, so I thought I'd try to help" Pinkie said "Just call me Dr.Pinkie!"

"I don't need any help from a silly pink horse. I'm fine, absolutely peachy" Jack put on an absurdly fake smile. "see?"

"aww come on, don't be like that. Why don't you tell me what's getting you down" Pinkie poked at him

Jack shoved her hoof away "Don't touch me.And nothing's wrong. Other than being stuck with a dweeby version of me, a hick, and you. And the possibility that we're all going to die. Everything is just fine!"

"So, you don't care about Scootaloo then?" Pinkie asked

".......Of course I don't..I'm evil, duh. If she doesn't want to join me at my side then fine. It's no skin off my nose, it happens all the time. stupid ingrates..." Jack looked to the side, his face didn't match his words.

"Well, I don't think anypony was going to let you just walk off with her. But you know what I think? I don't think it was about her being your evil general. I think at some point...it really was more of just being your friend. I think inside, you had given up on the whole general thing." Pinkie said

"yeah, uh huh. You think I was just going to turn over a new leaf and skip across meadows and pick flowers? Nice try, but I'm no wimp" Jack was giving Pinkie an annoyed look


"Oh no, I don't think you we're going to turn super good or anything. But I gotta admit. How you were when you attacked compared to when you were talking to Scootaloo was reeeaaallly different. I think you really did like having a friend. Just as much as you like being evil. And while I don't think you'd give up being evil...I DO think you wouldn't be evil around Scootaloo if it meant hurting her" Pinkie was absolutely sure of it.

Jack got into her face, shaking his finger "That's not....You...not even close...that's...I'm no......................." Jack raised himself back up and continued walking


"I knew it! you still care! Why act like you don't and be all mean if you still care?" Pinkie was curious

"are you really that stupid? She doesn't want to be my friend anymore. And you know what? That's fine, because when it's all over. I can get back to my world and get back to conquering it. Maybe I'll conquer you all first. Since you're all so easy to beat, how does that sound? Does it scare you? huh?" Jack looked into her eyes, but saw no fear

"Nope. you know what you need, Jack?" Pinkie asked

"Headache medicine?....because you're giving me a headache" Jack sighed

"I think you need another friend. sort of a training friend. To show you how to be a friend. That way when Scootaloo comes around. You'll know how to act. Jack.....will you let me be your friend?" Pinkie looked into his eyes, her eyes glistening.

".....get out of my face" Jack said, but for some reason. Pinkie wasn't stung by his words.

"ok. But you'll see. you may not think it'll happen. But it'll happen. and you'll feel so silly!" Pinkie giggled

"Just leave me alone, geez. why do you ponies have to be so grossly goody goody. It makes me sick!" Jack gagged

"Ok....but don't get sick. We still gotta beat Wuya" Pinkie jumped forward back to Applejack and Good Jack.

They were nearing the throne room.

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