• Published 12th Nov 2017
  • 904 Views, 49 Comments

Jack Spicer's Quest to Conquer Equestria - CrazedLaughter



Jack Spicer and Wuya are teleported to Equestria after a fight with Omi and his friends. Jack, using his evil genius, plots a magnificent and fool proof plan to take over the new land he finds himself in. Also Wuya is there.

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Chapter 23 - The Plan to Defeat Wuya

"ok...so then...let me get things straight. There are two of these "Jacks". And the one I can't see is good...Do I have it so far?" Twilight looked to Pinkie for confirmation.

Pinkie nodded "mhmm! looks like it to me!"

"so then...The Jack I see...since he isn't the good one...is a bad one right?" Twilight looked to Jack as she spoke, still asking Pinkie however.

"I think so...I mean" Pinkie looked towards Jack "You did some really awful things. It didn't even look like you cared about hitting Applejack with your stick thingy."

"Ok, one. I hit her with my Monkey Staff, get it right!...and two...eeheh..it was kind of funny. She didn't even see it com-...ahrm...yeah" Jack was having a hard time keeping his nature in check.

"mnnn..come on Jack, you can't go around being evil like that. You have to make friends with the ponies remember?" Good Jack reminded him.

"Hey! It's not my fault that she didn't realize the showdown wasn't over! I'm innocent!" Jack barked at his good self, feeling he was being ganged up on.

"Was it her first showdown?" Good Jack asked

"Yeah...so what?" Jack saw no problem in this

"for shame, tsk tsk tsk. Taking advantage of someone new to showdowns is awful." Good Jack shook his head in shame.

"Yeah, what he said!" Pinkie added

"....what did he say?" Twilight asked, annoyed that she couldn't fully keep up with the conversation. Due to being unable to see or hear the other Jack.

"He said that Jack...that that Jack" Pinkie pointed towards Jack "was pretty much awful for taking advantage of Applejack's newness..to...the..erm...xiaolono thingy!"

"....yeah...that does sound pretty awful." Twilight was told about the showdown, but even she was skeptical on how an arena could sprawl out from nowhere. she assumed it was some sort of cheap trick.

"OH COME ON! AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT?...like I dunno"....STOPPING WUYA!?" Jack was getting sick of being ganged up on, and tried to shift the conversation.

"..we should be....but the problem is you" Twilight points to Jack "You can't still expect us to trust you after everything you have done. I think we can handle Wuya without you. If your "good self" is truly good, then he should be the one to help us, Not you....We know enough about you to know how you operate. You're lucky Rarity and Applejack are out there right now. I don't know how they'd react knowing you were fooling their little sisters all this time...and poor Scootaloo..."



"And what?! I had a schedule to keep and a world to rule. Anything goes when it come to me!" Jack said, with dominance and pride.

Good Jack rushed up to Jack, and tried to appeal to Jack's sensibilities. "Jack! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU CAN'T SAY SUCH MEAN BAD THINGS! WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS!"

"I am trying! I'm being honest aren't I?!" Jack retorted, and then turned to Twilight "And another thing "Your Highness". I really did consider Scootaloo my friend! and Applebloom! and Sweetie Belle! But especially Scootaloo.Sure I was going to make her my top general....sure I wanted her by my side while we destroy things together....sure..I..lied to her" Jack slowed his speech as he said that, bringing some hurt into his heart. A feeling that Good Jack is able to feel. "But...my FEELINGS were true! You wanna know how true? I gave up conquering the world myself so I could make sure she was ok!" Jack was stepping up and shoving his finger at the vulnerable Twilight "So you can take your little imperial attitude and shove it! I'm going to help you whether you like it or not! Besides...you can't leave anything up to him!" Jack kept his eyes locked to Twilight's as he pointed to his good self.

Twilight's ears drooped down, a little fearful of Jack's encroachment. "W-why not?"

"Because, despite him being as good looking and smart as I am......He's also a gigantic wuss. He even takes time to clean his own toenails!" Jack's eye twitched


"w-well...it's good to have clean hygiene" Good Jack tried to defend himself.

"waaaaaiiiitttt...I just realized something important" Pinkie interjected as she stepped up in front of Jack.

Good Jack, Jack, and Twilight looked upon Pinkie for her supposed wisdom.

"...so....if he cleans his toenails...does that mean yours are super gross?" Pinkie asked Jack.

Twilight slapped her own forehead with her hoof "Pinkie....."

"Yea-ah and? So? I don't have time to do that you know..I got important...things...a-" Jack was trying to defend his actions until Twilight slammed down her hooves. Getting all their attention.

"CAN WE STOP, PLEASE!?" Twilight yelled, and then took a moment to catch her breath "WE DO HAVE A CRISIS GOING ON IF ALL OF YOU FORGOT!"

They all stared at her silently
Twilight brushed up and fixed her mane, clearing her throat, feeling a little surprised with herself. "ahrm...anyway. mnn...If you are that adamant in helping. I guess..I guess we can try to trust you. But..did you really do what you said you did? Did you give up the world to rescue Scootaloo?....or is that a lie?" Twilight had to know

Jack took a depressed sigh, knowing that he gave up his life's goal did depress him "yeah....I did...I had the stuff I needed. I just needed to make a power suit to utilize it all. But Wuya one upped me...So you can think what you want. Am I still Jack? evil boy genius...yeah. To the end. but..." Jack took in a huge breath, and then sighed "But...I guess you can call me Jack...Sorta good boy genius...at least for this world...only for this world. I'm still gonna try to conquer my world...but..I don't need to rule two worlds right? I mean, you can't fault me, right? I am telling the truth" Jack was feeling unsure now, he didn't want to lie, in fear of retaliation.

"Couldn't you...you know...not rule either world? I don't see why you have to be so evil" Twilight was now trying to convince him to fully change sides "I'm su-" Jack cuts her off

"Save it for somebody who cares about that mushy stuff. You're lucky i'm willing to be a sorta good guy in your world. Besides, you're gonna need someone as evil as I am if you even want to get close to Wuya. I mean..come on, I stomped all of you and I didn't even need to bring my A-game" Jack crossed his arms.

"He's got a point Twilight, he did manage to nearly rule the world and raid the castle twice.." Pinkie said

"...That's right?! Ugh...how could I forget! What did you to Spike!" Twilight said, her anger suddenly raising.

"Woah woah! He's ok. sort of left him enough food to survive a few years I think....well..at least I hope he's ok...since...I think Wuya has him now...that's not a problem right?" Jack chuckled nervously

"HE'S WHERE!?! WITH WUYA! YOU...YOOUU!" Twilight's horn began to glow near it's tip.

"H-he's probably ok...ehehe" Jack was getting worried, he didn't like the angry look in Twilight's eyes.

Pinkie could see Twilight was losing her grip. She was about to drop the barrier to blast Jack herself out of the anger she possibly lost Spike forever. Pinkie jumped in front of Jack and held her hooves up "WAIT TWILIGHT! DON'T DO IT! YOU GOTTA CALM DOWN!....I know you're really stressed out and scared...we all are...But I think Jack is reeeeaaalllllyyyy trying to be good...in his own way...Please...maybe we should give him another chance?"

Twilight's anger dissolved into worry and fear "But..but..Spike...and what if..Fluttershy..?"

Pinkie rushed up to give her friend a hug. "It'll be ok. We just have to believe."

Good Jack, getting caught in the moment asks Pinkie to tell Twilight that if he could, he'd hug her too. in which Pinkie relays the message.

Jack just stands there, tapping his foot.

"ahrm ahrm" Good Jack coughed to get Jack's attention, then gestured at Jack to hug them

Jack looked to his good self with disapproval "what?"

"Stop being such a meanie pants and show some compassion! I know you have it in you...or else I wouldn't have been able to find you!" Good Jack was really trying to make this all work




"Listen he-" Jack was about to tell his good self off

But his Good self rushed up and told him off "NO YOU LISTEN! STOP BEING SUCH A MEAN MEANIE PANTS AND GET IN THERE AND HUG! AND BE NICER!"

"B-but..h-" Jack tried to talk, but good Jack was finally having none of it.

"NO BUTS MISTER! IF YOU CAN’t BE NICE THEN THIS THE WHOLE WORLD IS DOOMED! AND EVERYPONY WILL BE SAD FOREVER! DO YOU WANT THAT? DO YOU WANT SCOOTALOO TO BE SAD?"

"n-no....b-" Jack couldn't get a word in, his good self was literally fuming from the nose

"AND WHAT?! YOU CAN MAKE FRIENDS WITH HER AGAIN IF YOU SHOW HER YOU CARE! YOU KNOW WHY YOU EVEN CARE? BECAUSE YOU MADE A WONDERFUL CONNECTION! AND IF YOU CAN TELL HER THE TRUTH, AND STILL BE THE JACK SHE BECAME FRIENDS WITH. THEN GUESS WHAT?! IT MEANS YOU HAVE A CHANCE! FRIENDS ALWAYS GIVE FRIENDS A CHANCE! NOW..GET IN THERE..AND HUG THEM!"

"..u-...o-ok..." Jack nervously stepped away from his good self. and joined in on the hug, he felt very awkward.

Good Jack immediately calmed down and gave a wide smile "See, don't you feel all ooey gooey mcpooty now?"

"......sorta...I guess" Jack didn't know how to feel

"...uhh....why are yo-" Twilight said, before Pinkie gently shushed her

"Just let it go Twilight, this is a good thing. It means we made a connection." Pinkie said as she hugged tighter, raising her hoof to get Jack into it.

It was the most awkward hug ever to be seen.

After the hug, things actually managed to calm down enough to have a discussion on what to do next.

"Ok, if you say that having you be...well..evil..is advantageous...then you're going to have to explain." Twilight stated, wanting to hear what Jack actually could bring to the table.

"Easy, Wuya is one of the most evil forces known to my dimension...next to me of course. But still pretty bad. She is bad to the very bone. ergo, she thinks of nothing but evil. And since I know evil. I could actually anticipate most of what she probably is gonna do. Like right now, if you look out there" Jack pointed out the window "She hasn't actually made any attacks yet because she's biding her time until she's at full power."

"How do you know she isn't at full power?" Twilight inquired, she wanted to learn as much as she can.



"Simple, she didn't reduce the entire world to rubble and rocks yet. She's done this once before. And it was pretty instant that time. I can only guess her magic is having trouble adjusting to the amulet's power." Jack surmised

"Right, so we have time. How was she beat last time?" Twilight asked

"Well, through some time travel and crazy shenanigans. We..that's right..I helped save the world too!...but yeah...we trapped her in a puzzle box." Jack stated

"Alright. I'm with you so far.So we can take advantage of her weakened state. and capture her in the puzzle box right?" Twilight asked, feeling hopeful.

"yup!......you wouldn't have some kind of puzzle box...would you?" Jack asked, being completely serious

"WHAT?! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE ONE!" Twilight yelled at him

"IT'S NOT LIKE I CARRY ONE AROUND! YOU'RE MAGICAL PONIES! DON'T YOU TRAP YOUR BAD GUYS IN BOXES?" Jack yelled back

"NO! WE JUST SEAL THEM UP FOR ONE THOUSAND YEARS..PERI-...ugh...why are we yelling?" Twilight did her best to calm down

"I dunno...tensions are high I guess....anyway..since we don't have a box. The only way I can think of beating her is getting the amulet off of her. Meaning one of us has to get close enough to grab it, I think that's what's actually giving her body form" Jack stated, as he calmed down himself

"I'm so proud, he didn't continue yelling" Good Jack said, with hope in his eyes.

"Does he yell a lot?" Pinkie asked

"Only when he's losing...or scared...or wanting mommy..or getting stung,kicked,zapped,stuck,popped,beat,sma-" Good Jack stopped the moment he noticed Jack was giving him a glare. "ehehe...but he always manages to get back on his feet.."

"...anyway, what we need to do is sneak into Wuya's castle straight from the bottom. Drill right into her dungeon. She'd never expect us to go where she'd want to throw us into. Then, free any of your friends she might have in there. Meanwhile, we need an army outside her castle to distract her. There's nothing Wuya loves more than flaunting her stupid evil butt around. Her guards are pretty dumb, and her dog..ally...whatever things don't look too smart either.If we can get into her throne room. We could sneak up and take the amulet." Jack laid out his plan clearly

"Wait..distract? I don't want to use any innocent ponies as fodder!" Twilight protested

"You don't have a choice princess, If we don't do something a "Good Guy" would normally do..like..you know...thinking you can win with an army. Then she's going to think we are actually planning to sneak in. We have to make it look like that WE THINK we can just roll up and kick her rear. When in actuality we are sneaking up to her rear to kick it." Jack tried to convince Twilight this was the best way.

"But to sacrifice that many..." Twilight didn't want to do it.

"If they can actually fight then they should be able to survive Wuya's stupid rock guards. Face it Princess, unless you got some kind of power that can blast that whole castle to kingdom come. Then we are going to have to be sneaky about it." Jack was sure of it.

Twilight did have a power, the power of her friends, the rainbow power. But without Fluttershy....it wouldn't be usable.

"speaking of which, where is your army anyway? I haven't seen one actual guard here..since..you know..I raided this place...twice" Jack looked around

"I..don't have any..I never felt the need to...I don't have an army either." Twilight frowned, if Jack was right. Then..

"What?! How do you...ok never mind. The townspeople w-"

Twilight stops him
"HOLD IT!......If you think I'm going to put the lives of the ponies of Ponyville at stake. Then get it out of your head right now. I won't allow it." Twilight was adamant about that

"Then what army do you suppose we use, Princess?" Jack said in a rather nasty tone.

"...Rainbow Dash is on the way with Canterlot and the Crystal Empire's finest. If...If your plan is the only way...then..I...then we'll have to go with them" Twilight didn't want to that either. But they were trained in combat, she had to come to terms that they would indeed lay down their lives for Equestria.

"We don't have time for that! Every moment, Wuya gets stronger! We gotta do this soon..or else we might not get the chance. I don't feel like Wuya getting the best of me! I can't let that happen!" Jack gripped his fist.

"...then I'll be the bait.." Twilight looked up at Jack, her eyes serious. She would not sacrifice her friends or her people.

"Twilight, you can't! What about the barrier?" Pinkie gasped, scared that Twilight would even think such a thing.

"It won't mean much if what Jack said is true. If Wuya is that powerful. Then eventually she'll tear right through it. And if she needs to be distracted...well...there's no better distraction than the princess herself. Blindly defending her subjects...that's how an evil doer would see it..right Jack?" Twilight looked to him, for assurance

Jack was surprised, she seemed to be getting it. And he had no qualms with her sacrificing herself. "Right, that would definitely work too. Now, we just need a team to actually go in and grab the amulet."

"Right...So what exactly will you do when you get inside? What's the plan?" Twilight wanted it detail by detail.


"ok...first, we release any prisoners Wuya has and let them go through the tunnel I would make..I guess..since...I guess saving people is..what a hero would do...anyway, after that.We got to get past whatever guards she's got. Shouldn't be a problem since my good self could scope things out without being a problem."

Good Jack chimed in "I'm gonna be able to help?! YAYYY! I'M USEFUL!"

Jack sighed "Yeah yeah...you're only useful because nobody can see you...ahrm..anyway. We sneak into Wuya's throne room. and just...distract her and take the amulet...easy stuff"

"ok...but..how exactly will you distract her to take the amulet." Twilight needed to know this. She had to make sure all bases were covered.

"..well...I dunno....by..uhh..distracting her?" Jack shrugged, he didn't exactly have that part thought through well.

"but how are you going to distract her?" Twilight asked more forcibly

"I dunno ok?! Wuya is the kind of girl to shoot first and ask questions later. If she vaporizes the distraction super fast...then..well...we'd be next.." Jack gulped.

"......I see..Wuya..I can't believe she managed to trick all of us...I really thought she was good. But I guess I only believed her because she said she was trying to stop you too" Twilight looked down in shame.

"It's ok Twilight, we were all fooled...even me! And for missing that..I'd be happy to volunteer for the diversion!" Pinkie smiled

"Pinkie you can't! What if-" Pinkie raised her hoof to Twilight to stop her

"ahhh, don't worry about ole Pinkie Pie. There's one thing I actually did notice about Wuya...and that's" Pinkie Pie suddenly put on some sunglasses " she can't groove"

"what does that..." Jack started

"...even mean?" Twilight ended

"Oh I get it! You're going to make Wuya angry and then dodge all her stinky blasty beams with funky fresh style?" Good Jack understood

"Yup! wow Other Jack! You really get me!.....I wish I could give you a hug" Pinkie looked at him, giving him a happy grin

Good Jack's eyes glisten in happy sorrow "I wish I could give you a hug too, Pinkie Pie!"

Jack rolled his eyes "This is wrong on so many levels...."



although Twilight was reluctant. She'd have to make due with it for now. She wished she at least had RD for support as well given her speed. She at least suggested to wait on Rarity and Applejack as they should be returning to the castle soon. Jack was going to need his team. And they would have to do. The fight against Wuya...was about to begin.

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