• Published 12th Nov 2017
  • 937 Views, 49 Comments

Jack Spicer's Quest to Conquer Equestria - CrazedLaughter



Jack Spicer and Wuya are teleported to Equestria after a fight with Omi and his friends. Jack, using his evil genius, plots a magnificent and fool proof plan to take over the new land he finds himself in. Also Wuya is there.

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Chapter 4 - A Princess Defeated, A Dragon Taken

Jack tumbled down from the tall Castle, screaming for his life "AHHHH, THIS IS IT! I'M DONE FOR!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! IF ONLY I HAD MY HELIPACK!! AHHH!!"

Suddenly, a very small Jack appeared before Jack and stared at him angrily. Of course, it was an illusion produced by a panicked mind. "HEY JACK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

Jack just stared at it, confused and frightened "BWWWAAA, WHO ARE YOU?!"

"I'm you, geez, can't you tell by my dashing good looks?" The mini-jack made a pose as it fell along with him

"oh right...I am pretty good looking...oh and WERE FALLING TOO OUR DOOM! WAAAHHH!" Cried Jack as he flapped his arms

The mini jack slapped his larger self. "Get a hold of yourself Jack, you're so scared that you're hallucinating a calmer smaller version of yourself to get it through your Intelligent but thick skull that you do have your helipack! SO USE IT!"

Jack stopped screaming and realized it himself "Oh...right...I knew that....but wait...who's that then?" he points to an even smaller Jack.

The mini-mini Jack just floats in "I represent the mommy issues of Jack Spicer, it's a pretty big problem"

The Mini Jack walks up to the Mini-Mini Jack and shoves him away "Will you beat it! There's more important things going on right now! Like living!"

the Mini-Mini jack pushes Mini Jack's hands away. "Living? what? What's going on?"

Mini Jack pointed down, the moment Mini-Mini jack looked down. He started to panic "MOMMY! MOMMY! HELP WE'RE GONNA SHATTER INTO PIECES! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!"

Jack just sighed at this point "I really need to get my mind in order. This is too much...even for me"

he flicks his figments away and activates his Helipack just before hitting the ground. Though, it wasn’t quite in time. Causing him to crash into the ground. Leaving a small crater in the shape of his body.

“Hahaha! J-just in time!” He snickered in a dizzy state as he stood up and wobbled about.

After some time. He recovered from his crashed state and took to hiding in a nearby bush to figure out the next steps to his master plan.
"Great Jack, Wuya is gone..I think..And you're on your own. Now you know you can make Jackbots at one point but those ponies are definitely gonna take awhile. She did say something about Shen Gong Wu though...."
he pokes his head out and looks at the castle "and she said some dragon is in there that can point me directly to them...but how to get in there....how to get in...hmmmm..Oh wait! HAHAHA!"

Jack pulled out a small spider like robot from inside his black coat and put it down. "I forgot I made one of these, hahaha. Sometimes I forget how much of a genius I really am...ahrm..SPYBOT! INFILTRATE THAT CASTLE AND PERFORM SOME RECONNAISSANCE , GET ME THE DIRT ON THAT PLACE. THE GUARDS, THE DEFENSES, EVERYTHING. I'M IN A HURRY!"

The small spider spy rushes towards the Castle, and crawls along the walls in search of a stealthy entrance.

Jack sits down in the bushes and crosses his legs as he sits. "And now we wait...oh man, why didn't I think of this before!" he started to rub his hands together evilly "This is gonna be great...Oh man, are those dweebs gonna get it when I get back" He suddenly stands up and points in the air "YOU HEAR THAT OMI! WHEN I GET BACK! I'M GONNA BEAT YOU SO BAD YOU'LL ACTUALLY START TO MAKE PROPER WORDPLAY!"

Jack then realized how loud he was being and covered his mouth and lowered himself back into the bushes. He tried not to get too excited.

Day turned into night

Jack was asleep in the bushes when his spider spy bot came back to him. Noticed he was asleep, and poked his hand with it's needle like leg. Making him wake up with a high pitched shrill. "OW! WHO WHAT WHO?! WHO...oh...Hey you're back....DON'T DO THAT AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME! I'M YOUR MASTER, NOT A PIN CUSHION!"

The robot didn't seem to care what he had to say. It just ignored him and started projecting small images in the air of the castle interior and recordings of it's only 2 occupants at the time.

Jack sighed "..no respect. You didn't even pay attention did you?"

The spybot says nothing...it can't say anything.

Jack bent down and pointed at it angrily "Don't you have anything to say for yourself?"

the spybot says nothing

"......You can't talk..can you?" Jack sighed, he forgot it couldn't. But just being woken up like that can make one forget...and then seem foolish. It was a good thing Wuya blew up. Jack didn't even care that she did at this point. She couldn't sense Shen Gong Wu, making her useless. And all she was doing was insulting him. Something he didn't need. "Ok....ok..let's see what you got"

He started observing the screens and recording image holograms the spybot was producing from it’s single glass eye. The castle seemed devoid of life besides the dragon and the pretty purple princess. The dragon seemed like a punk, but probably nothing he couldn't handle. He started sifting through his coat for anything he may have forgotten. "Let's see...House keys? nope. Rubber Ducky? awww..so cute...but no..Monkey Staff? Already used it...two tickets to Nurturing Koalas? aww....I really wanted Wuya to see that with me...oh well, she's gone now..HAHA...anyway...Reversing Mirror? nope, left that ba.....WHAT! HEY! I STILL HAVE THIS! OH WOW..hahaha, oh wow, would Wuya flip her top if she could see me now. hrmmm...I could use this. And let's see...Snare gun? ehh..not as good as the Tangle Web Comb. But good in a pinch. I just need a place to convince that dragon to work for me after I captured him....Looks Like I have no choice. Gotta get back to that abandoned castle and try to make at least one more Knightbot to pal around with me before making more Jackbots. Ok...Jack, you got this. Go team Jack!"

He then looked at the castle "Now...what would be the best way to approach this....ahh yeah!"

He holds up the Monkey Staff and cries it's name. Transforming into his monkey self

"It's a giant tree Castle, and what better way to climb a tree than being a monkey. Oh Jack, you're so clever."

With that, he made his way into climbing to one of the upper windows of the tree like castle to sneak his way. at this point the occupants have to be asleep by now. Making capturing the small dragon an easy feat.

Jack started zipping and sneaking around the Castle. Noting how girly it looked. Like a child's playset kind of of girly.
He started to stealthily move from room to room, whispering "here dragon dragon dragon, come to uncle Jack...where is he? at this rate. I'll never find him"

During Jack's search, he had to change back to his normal form to keep the monkey staff from fully messing with his mind. He wasn't as agile in this form. and some of his steps made small squeaks. But he hadn't been found out yet.
Suddenly, he can hear voices coming from behind a door. "aha! that's must be him."

Jack slowly opened the door enough to see past it. He took a peek, and could see the princess of the land conversing with the dragon about something. He seemed to be jotting things down as she read from a huge host of books.

"Darnit...that princess is with him." Jack sighed and stepped back, pulling out the Reversing Mirror. "Alright Jack, now is your time to shine. You've done this a million times before....and lost most of them, but this time it's different. It's just a stupid froo froo princess. Totally easy."

This probably wasn't the best plan Jack could come up with. But it was a plan, no matter how poorly thought out. He kicks open the door and points at the princess and her dragon immediately "Alright Princess! Hand over your pet dragon and nobody gets hurt!"

The Princess turns her head to look upon Jack Spicer."What in the?...Spike do you know that guy?"

Spike looked over, surprised at the sudden outburst "No! But...." Suddenly shook his clawed fist at Jack "I'm NOT A PET! IF THIS IS SOME SORT OF JOKE IT ISN'T FUNNY! geez, if this is a joke from Pinkie..it's pretty awful."

"I don't think it's a joke Spike.." Twilight suddenly stood at the ready "I think he might be asking for trouble"

Jack pointed at her "Oh you can bet your cushiony butt I'm asking for trouble! Like I said...hand over the dragon!"

"I don't know who you are, but I'm giving you a single warning to leave or else I'm going to give you trouble!" Twilight threatened




Jack didn't even think that as a threat. It was pathetic, sort of like a pestering monk he knows of. "ugh...that's so lame. I'm the one who is already bringing trouble in actuality. So you can't give me what I already have. Seriously, why is it everybody I meet can't come up with a clever comeback."

Spike growled at him "Hey! Just because Twilight is terrible at comebacks doesn't mean she can't eventually come up with a better one later on!"

Twilight sighed "...uhh...thanks...Spike...ahrm..Anyway, Are you going to leave? or turn yourself in? Because I AM NOT going to let you take my friend!" Twilight's horn began to glow

Jack smirked at her "nah, I think I'll be taking him...JACKBOTS ATTACK!"
nothing happens.

"Twilight...do you see anything?" Spike asked

Twilight looked around, ready to defend herself and her assistant "They might be invisible Spike, keep on your toes!"

"a-a-actually...I sorta do that all the time. But haha...I don't have any at the moment so...forgot about that..silly me..so..how about THIS THEN!" Jack takes out his snare gun and fires it at Spike. Trapping him.

"Gah! Twilight Help!" Spike cried out as he tried to claw out. The snare was made out of some odd pseudo rope metal binding.

"Spike! GGRR..THATS IT! I WARNED YOU!" Twilight rose up and released a magical blast at Jack

Jack just smiled as the blast came towards him, then he brought it out. with a cry of "REVERSING MIRROR"

Jack easily sent the blast back at the angered and unsuspecting Twilight, the blast itself was enough to knock her out of the air and send her sliding across the floor. The magic wasn't meant to do any actual harm. Just blow back any intruder and stun them.

"TWILIGHT!" Spike called out "Are you ok? Come on, Get up!"

"I-I can't...t-that was my disabling spell...n..ngh..hh-how did he?" Twilight struggled to get up. But to no avail.

Jack just laughed as he walked up to Twilight and mocked her "Easy Horse-for-Brains. I used my Shen Gong Wu. Too bad you're too stupid to even know what that is! hahaha! You should have seen the look on your face right before you got zapped! It was priceless! Well, I'll be taking my dragon now! later loser!"

Jack walked up to the snared dragon and grabbed the connecting rope and began to drag him along

"Why you! When I get out of this. I'm gonna rip you apart! Nobody hurts Twilight and gets away with it!"

Jack rolled his eyes "Can it dog breath, you're mine now. Deal with it."

Twilight dragged herself the best she could over to Jack, trying to stop him. Jack just looked at her eyes and snickered "Awww, why such a long face? HAHAHA GET IT! LONG!..BECAUSE YOU’RE A HORSE?! OH MAN, THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE EASIEST WIN I EVER HAD! LATER PRINCESS! I HAVE SOME SHEN GONG WU TO COLLECT!"

Twilight could only watch as Jack activated his Helipack and flew out a window. Cackling as he headed back to the abandoned castle. Figuring flying to it would definitely be the better plan.

Spike was crying out for Twilight. But could do nothing as he got taken through the air in the dead of night.

Twilight began to cry. Easily defeated and losing one of her closest friends in mere minutes.

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