• Published 12th Nov 2017
  • 903 Views, 49 Comments

Jack Spicer's Quest to Conquer Equestria - CrazedLaughter



Jack Spicer and Wuya are teleported to Equestria after a fight with Omi and his friends. Jack, using his evil genius, plots a magnificent and fool proof plan to take over the new land he finds himself in. Also Wuya is there.

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Chapter 20 - Wuya's Proposition

Jack, in his PJs, immediately stood up to look at the ghostly figure that was in front of him "You're some sort of dream right? I saw you blow up."

"Jack, I'm immortal" Wuya said in an annoyed, condescending tone "meaning nothing can actually kill me....except perhaps your whining and blithering...but I digress." She then gave him a rather evil smile "How is my favorite evil boy genius doing?"

"Favor-..oh ho" Jack gave her a smirk and bounced his finger at her "I know what you're here for."

"you do?" Wuya gave a fake face of surprise "Gee Jack, whatever could I be here for?"

"I'm just going to take a very educated guess that you're here because you somehow figured out I have all the Shen Gong Wu I need." He got close to her face and gave her the biggest,smuggest smile he could "am I riiiighhtt?"

"You're right Jack, oh my. I can't get anything past you. But since we are having such a pleasant morning chat. I suppose I could ask my question....would you mind giving me my body back?" Wuya blinked her eyes at him.

Jack burst into laughter "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Are you serious?! Are..you...SERIOUS?!?! HAHAHAHA."

Wuya makes a pout "Oh Jack...that hurts. After all we've been through together. Is this how you treat me?"

"uhhh...DUH! All you ever say is "Jack, you idiot" or "Get off your lazy rear and do something, Jack!" or even "You can't do anything right, Jack". But look at me now! The moment you blew up, I became the toppest of top. The biggest of big. The future emperor of the UNIVERSE! And you.....just a floaty ghost...thing, so beat it! If you wanted your body so bad, you should have done what I did and actually USE YOUR BRAIN! HAHAHAHAHA" Jack laughed in a sinister tone, enough that lightning should have struck to add to it's sinister qualities.

"You're right Jack, if only I hadn't been sooooo foolish. I suppose I could never compare to you" Wuya hung her head in shame

"HAHAHAHA..hahaha...what? Ok, what's up with you? normally you'd be screeching like a banshee by now. What? Did you finally realize that I'm actually superior to you? I mean, I know I am since I'm not a useless old ghost!..haha" Jack chuckled, he didn't know what got into Wuya. But seeing her on the ropes was enjoyable.

"Hurtful words Jack Spicer...but there might be truth to those words after all...So then. What do you plan to do now? I'm just curious" Wuya said as she circled him

"What else? Conquer the world. It's on the top of my to-do list after all. Maybe I'll think of you when I rule the world....maybe" Jack said as he pressed a button on his PJs. turning it into his coat in a flash.

"Oh Jack, you really have thought of everything. I was such a fool to ever think I could challenge you." Wuya suddenly began to smile slowly


"Yeah.....I am pretty great" Jack said as he rubbed his hand on his chest arrogantly and blew on it "I'm hot stuff"

"Tell me Jack....how does little Scootaloo feel about this?" Her smile began to twist as she said this

"Scoots? bah, she'll come around eventually. But right now she's..pretty.....hold on.." He blinked and froze for a second, then looked at Wuya inquisitively"How do you know about Scoots?"

Wuya cackled "I know a lot of things Jack. About this world, it's inhabitants....your recent actions. If you thought I had been floating about doing nothing. Then you'd be quite wrong."

At first Jack was intimidated, but then he realized that she couldn't do anything in her current state "So you know a lot of stuff. Who cares? it's not gonna matter once I'm running this place, not like you can stop me if that's what you're thinking."

Wuya's smile became insidious now.It practically beaming an evil aura "Yes Jack, you're quite right. There is nothing I can do to stop you. I'm actually impressed you've come so far....but tell me. How would you feel if you didn't have your little general around?"

Jack was confused, did she mean Scootaloo? "I already got that covered. If you thought their were any holes in my plan. then I should tell you...it's air tight, baby! one hundred percent Jack approved!"

"Oh Jack...it's not a matter of her possibly not wanting to join you....It's a matter of her being completely unable to. gehehehe" She chuckled maliciously.

Jack felt a pain in the pit of his stomach "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh...I have a feeling you can figure it out, Jack. You are a genius after all. I'll leave you to your devices with only this in mind. You can conquer the world now...or you can come to my current residence. It is a rock quarry not too far off from the town. One of my new lackeys will be waiting for you. Just keep little Scootaloo in mind when you make this choice. It's very important."

Jack didn't like that insinuation one bit. "Hey! What are you talking about?! Stop talking like a weirdo and just tell me what the heck you're talking about"

Wuya started to drift backwards "I don't have to explain anything to you, Jack Spicer. If you're smart. You'll make the right decision. I'll give you some time to think about it. Ta-ta" She waved as she drifted through a wall.

Jack reached out for her "Hey wait! Tell me what you mean you stupid ghost!"

But she had already gone

Jack began to wonder. he was having a hard time trying to figure out what she meant. Or perhaps. He didn't want to imagine what she meant.

Jack tried to shrug it off. He walked over to his work table.



He held up the Alicorn Amulet, then looked at the Reversing Mirror "It's...so close." he was struggling to hold his head up high "So..close...come on Jack. You can't possibly be thinking that...."

Jack sighed "Wuya is just trying to mess with you. You've dreamed of this day. It's finally yours.....the statues of you, the people screaming your name in terror, having a neato crown. It's all yours.....but..Why do I feel something is wrong though? That's not like me..."

Jack didn't want to even think it. That Scootaloo was in some sort of trouble. He didn't want it to get the better of him. He always had an affection towards things he thought he could make his partner. From his own created RoboJacks to even a certain "bird of Paradise". And every one of them had stabbed him in the back. He tried to imagine Scootaloo as no different.

"Come on Jack! It's yours. Evil Boy Emperor! Just minutes away!...ngh..........ugh..." Jack walked around in a disillusioned, dreaded funk "...It's not like she'd even come to my side, right? Right? she'd just either be a goody two shoes and try to destroy me or steal my crown right from under my own nose..."

Jack sat down, taking a deep breath "It shouldn't matter right? I'm a Heylin, totally evil. Right to the core...and.....and..."

Jack let out a sigh "....And I'm just gonna screw up again.....ugh..Maybe Wuya is just bluffing...but I guess it's worth checking out. Maybe it'll just give me a chance to really gloat in her face...hmnnn.." He didn't feel enthusiastic about this thought. he felt as if a venomous omen has been brought to him.

Jack put on and activated his helipack. And took the Shen Gong Wu and amulet with him. To search for the location Wuya had mentioned

It didn't take him long to find it. He landed inbetween some rocks and started to sneak around. Looking for someone.

Finally, he sees some doglike creature with a spiked collar and red vest, "wow....Wuya sure can pick em...I swear I can smell him from here."

Jack stepped out and walked towards the doglike figure "Hey! you!"

The dogthing looked around, then silently pointed to itself in confusion

"Yeah you muttface! You one of Wuya's goons??" Jack pointed at him, yelling at him

"What?! Diamond Dog not goon! Diamond Dog is Diamond Dog!" It barked back

"Yeah whatever, do you know Wuya or not?" Jack asked rudely

"Of course, Wuya bring us diamond dogs many many many gems. More than we ever had before. So we do what she says" The dog replied

"tch, sounds like a goon to me" Jack said, crossing his arms. He stood tall, he didn't want any lip from something this dumb looking.


"You just jealous you don't have as many gems as us! But go away, I'm waiting on somepony named Jack Spicer." The Dog stated

"I'm Jack Spicer you nimrod. ugh" Jack facepalmed "Let's just cut to the chase, take me to Wuya right now! I got a world to rule! And I don't want to waste time talking to a dumby like you!"

"I'm no dumby, you dumby!" The dog barked back

Jack took out his snare gun and aimed it at the dog "Say it again...come on..I dare you." He was not in the mood for games.

"what is that thing?" The Diamond Dog drew closer, to inspect it.

Jack just sighed as he shot the dog into the net "you know, I really don't have time to explain it. You're supposed to be scared when I bring out a weapon by the way." He put his snare gun away "This place is just full of morons, geez. It's like nobody knows what anything normal is around here." Jack walked forward as the dog struggled in its net, he noticed a hole and surmised that's where he had to go next "oh, and FYI. I'm going to personally use this place as my toilet once I become Emperor. Seems like a good place to dump stuff, since this is where idiots like you seem to hang out, later dumby!" Jack jumped into the hole and used his helipack to float downwards to the cavernous bottom. Where torches lit a path.

Jack walked forward at a careful and cautious pace. His villainous instinct telling him he could be ambushed at any point if he wasn't careful.

But it never came to be, for as he went down a winding path and turned the corner. He came upon a huge chamber chock full of gems. At the end of the chamber were rows of burly Diamond dogs..and at the center...awaited Wuya.


Jack walked straight into the chamber without a thought, clapping at Wuya. "Wow..I really had to see it to believe it. The mighty Wuya, resorting to teaming up with flea bitten mutts. You've really gone downhill there, you ectodoofus."

Wuya noticed him, and turned "Oh my, how surprising. You actually came, and just as soothing as ever. Your words would cut deep if I had any skin, Jack. Besides...you should have seen my previous allies. I'm sure you met them before. Afterall, you stole their dragon"

Jack cackled "Oh nooo way! You actually teamed up with those goody two shoes rejects?! oh no Wuya, you didn't go downhill. You crashed a flippin plane straight into the ground!"

Wuya sighed "Yes, well...Not one of my finer moments. But it doesn't matter now since I'll be getting my body back very soon.

"If you think those mongrels can take me, then dream on! I got enough weaponry and Wu in this coat to take on these dogbrained morons." Jack rolled up his sleeves. "so why don't you just stop delaying the inevitable already? It's getting me pretty peeved."



Wuya nodded "I agree, the time for idle chit chat has passed. Let's get down to business" Wuya turned to the dogs and yelled "BRING HER OUT!"

some of the Diamond Dogs moved aside, revealing a pit. As one, armor clad diamond dog brought out Scootaloo. Bound by rope, gagged by a hankercheif. She was struggling to break free.

Jack immediately cringed. He tried to deny himself that Wuya had any means to actually do this. That this is what she meant all along. But he couldn't. Not with the obvious staring him in the face like that. Jack stood there, stunned..silent.

"Have any words now? Jack Spicer." Wuya was getting confident now. She knew she had the upper hand.

Jack tried to look as if he didn't care "Eh? what is this exactly? Is this supposed to make me give up? Because it doesn't. Now if you excuse me...I got a world to conquer..ciao!" Jack turned to walk away.

"I see, I should have known better than to bargain with you, Jack. I suppose you won't mind then if I give the order to have her tossed into that pit?" Wuya asked him, taking great notice of him stopping midstep as she mentioned the pit.

Jack didn't turn, but he stuttered a tad in his words "W-what do I care if you toss her in a little hole?"

""Little hole", is that what you think this is Jack? I hate to burst your bubble. But that pit is quite bottomless. Anything thrown into it will definitely be lost forever...but not like you care. I'll just give the or-"

"Wait!...mngh." Jack turned to her "Fine, but not because I care or anything. What do you want?"

Wuya smirked "Oh Jack, it truly is a wonder to see you lying through your teeth about something other than pure evil. To see you actually give up your life's goal over a putrid, silly, and abhorrent sentiment such as friendship. It's almost intoxicating to see you fall so far " she began to rub her tendrils together, savoring the moment.

"Shut up Wuya! you don-" Jack yelling is cutoff by Wuya's dominance

"SILENCE! Unless your very next action is putting the Wu down. Then it'll be your little friend thats going down!" suddenly her voice became slightly softer, more mocking "Go ahead Jack, show me how wrong I am..make me bow down to the great boy emperor Jack Spicer...walk away. The world is yours..."

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