Jack Spicer's Quest to Conquer Equestria

by CrazedLaughter

Chapter 12 - The Power of the Alicorn Amulet

Jack stood victorious over his now hatless foe.

In one hand, his main prize, the Alicorn Amulet. In the other, a cowboy hat. His path to world domination finally came close to it's end.

He couldn't help but laugh a sinister laugh as he threw his hands in the air and gloated "YES! FINALLY! EVERYTHING IS GOING MY WAY FOR ONCE! I'LL BE RULING THIS PLACE BY TOMORROW! BOW BEFORE ME HORSE SCUM! FOR I AM JACK! SO EAT IT!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Applejack, coming to her senses from the shape shifting world and her fall, notices Jack. He was laughing nonstop. Her eyes then became fixated on her hat. "you cheatin son of a.." She immediately rushed at him and did a 180 hop "Want somepony to eat somethin?! THEN WHY DON'T YA EAT THIS INSTEAD!"

"HAHAHAHA..ha..huAGH!" Jack, lost in his own victorious arrogance, failed to notice that his opponent was still very much capable of slamming his face with her hindlegs.

He went flying out of the room, screaming in agony as he lost his grip on the hat. Applejack catching it on her head and adjusting it with her hoof.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Jack screamed right into the next room, flying right into the steps upwards to the west wing hallway. Crashing into the first few steps and sliding down ".....Granny, I don't want to wear the diaper today..I can poopy all by myself" Jack said in a daze as he planted his face on the floor.

A voice came from behind him, happyish and bubbly "Oh boy! They weren't kidding about the first steps being a real doozy! Hehehe"

Upon hearing the voice, Jack slowly stood up and shook his head to clear it. Then turned around. Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and his Jackbot were in the room, with Applejack stepping out of the hidden chamber to meet them.

Jack rubbed his face as he pointed at Applejack in anger "HEY! THAT'S CHEATING! GIVE ME BACK MY HAT!"

Applejack just stared at him, getting steamed that she'd be accused of such a thing "Cheating?! I wouldn't go around calling anypony a cheater with the dirty tricks you pull! That's probably how ya pulled a fast one on Twi. How about ya just tell us where ya got Spike stashed and maybe we won't beat on ya so hard!"

"Yeah, It's us four versus you! You are going down mister!" Pinkie added

"Four?" Jack was confused and started counting, pointing a finger at Applejack "one" to Rarity "Two" To Pinkie"Three" To the Jackbot "Fo-HEY WAIT A MINUTE! JACKBOT, GET OVER HERE, NOW!"

The Jackbot looked around, it seemed to be a little confused, but it rushed over to his side when it realized it was on the wrong side.

"WAIT! WHERE YA GOING!? I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA HAVE A PARTY LATER!" Pinkie reached her hoof out to the Jackbot. Saddened that it had left their side.

Jack snickered "A lame party with you dweebs? Please, as if my Ja...HEY, GET BACK HERE!" The Jackbot was trying to sneak back to Pinkie's side, but swiftly went back to Jack's the moment he yelled at him.

"Give it up Jack, we still outnumber ya. And I'm ready to give ya a straight up whuppin this time." Applejack started to approach him slowly, Rarity and Pinkie taking to her side.

"Pardon my recent violent tendencies, but I'd rather we just use him as a pin cushion until he tells us what we want to know" Rarity said, giving him a dagger stare.

Jack went into a battle pose "You want some of this? You think I'm scared of you three? I'll have you know that I am a master in the martial art of Ta-JACKBOT FLASH BOMB NOW!" Jack suddenly yells as he puts on his goggles.

The Jackbot releases a large round sphere into the air that explodes. Releasing a gigantic flashbang, blinding and deafening the ponies.

"What happened!"Rarity said as she stepped backwards, rubbing her eyes

"What was that!?" Applejack yelled

"Wow! Now that's going out with a bang! I can't hear a thing!" Pinkie said, giggling.

Finally, their senses came back to them. But Jack had managed to escape.

"Gosh darn it! The little weasel vamoosed!" Applejack said as she rubbed her eyes

"I can't believe such an uncouth, unrefined,...thing, can exist. Even Discord has better etiquette than that Jack!"

Pinkie however said nothing, she was holding an object in her hooves, a strange mirror. She then held it up to Rarity "Hey Rarity! Did you drop this? It looks pretty fancy!"

Rarity took a look at it "No Pinkie. Don't you realize we have more pressing matters at hand?"

"Well yeah but. I didn't want you to freak out over dropping something. Is it yours Applejack?" She held it up to her

Applejack knew she didn't bring any mirrors with her. And upon a quick inspection, knew Twilight didn't have any kind of mirror like that. "Hold on there sugarcube, Pinkie might be on to somethin. This mirror ain't mine and I don't think Twi has one this funny lookin.."

Rarity turned around to take a closer inspection, since it caught Applejack's interest "Now that you mention it, I've been around this castle many times myself to marvel at it's beauty...and I've never seen this mirror before. You don't think it belongs to that Jack Spicer...Do you?"

"If it does, it might be our first clue to gettin' Spike back....hmm...Pinkie, can ya hang back while me and Rarity see if we can track down Jack?" Applejack said

Pinkie whined "Awww! but I wanna help too!"

Applejack tried to be quick but sincere"I know ya do sugarcube. But if there's even a chance to catch him, we gotta go now! And somepony needs to stay here to tell Twi everything that happened...and ya sorta need to disarm all your booby traps. they could very well hurt somepony."

Pinkie giggled meekly "oh right, hehe..I should do that. Ok!" Pinkie saluted to Applejack "You can count on me! Goodluck everypony!"

Applejack nodded and turned to run back upstairs "Come on Rarity, Lesse if we can catch that snake in the grass!"

Unfortunately for them, Jack was already long gone and heading back to his base. He was scowling at his Jackbot "A Party?! You were going to leave me for a party!? WHAT DOES A PARTY HAVE THAT I DON'T HAVE?!"

The Jackbot responded in a robotic voice "zzt...Cake"

"CAKE?! CAKE?! YOU CAN'T EVEN EAT CAKE!" Jack furiously yelled at him

The Jackbot slumped "awwww...."

Jack facepalmed "Seriously, there's something about this world that's just turns people...AND ROBOTS..into some cake eating, horse loving weirdos...oh well" Jack held up the amulet to his face "I got what I came for" he said, as an evil smile formed on his face.

Jack reached the abandoned castle and landed with his Jackbot at his side, kicking open the main doors, his arms stretched wide "JACKIE'S HOME!"
His voice echoed through the empty foyer ".....This place is pretty lonely, I bet if Wuya was around she'd probably be happy with me for once. Then she'd try to worm her way to getting her body back, and then I'd tell her no as I blast her to bits." Jack sighed "I miss Wuya"

Jack walked inside to the throne room, he marveled at the sight of parts,scrap, and metal littering it's floor that his scavengers had brought back. More than enough to convert the castle into an actual base. "haha! Oh man, Jack central over here! Yeah baby! I'm finally on top and nobody can stop me! Now where did I leave that blubbering reptile? I wanna try this thing out!"

As Jack tried to remember where he left Spike, he started to happen upon not just piles of scrap. But Piles of gems as well. Where did they come from? as he continued his exploration. He happened upon a voice behind some of the piles.

"Wow. He really is that kind of guy huh?" That voice was Spike

But then a robotic voice can be heard "Yes, besides having episodes, crying about his mother. He is also very rude and uncaring. Despite me being Scavenger bot number two. He just calls me Jackbot, not even with a number designation. Although I would follow him to the depths of the earth and back, morale is always low."

"Geez, I didn't realize being one of his goons was so rough. Puts my entire life into perspective. Do you dream about anything?" Spike asked to the robotic voice

"No, but if I did. It would be about me being a pretty pink princess sheep and ruling my land with a heart of gold....and blasting my enemies into dust...Sadly I am a scavenger bot. So I am without true rank or weaponry...maybe one day I can at least be an attack Jackbot and be destroyed in glorious battle so that my robotic soul can achieve this dream.." Said the robotic voice, monotone in its speech

"Dream big dude, Dream big" Said Spike

Jack finally found the source of the voices and found Spike hugging one of his scavenger bots through the net "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! ARE YOU HUGGING HIM?!"

Suddenly the Jackbot stopped hugging as its head spun around in panic "Master. What are you doing here."

"I LIVE HERE METALHEAD! I THINK THE BETTER QUESTION IS WHY...ARE YOU CRYING?! ARE YOU...HOW ARE YOU EVEN DOING THAT?!"" Jack was astonished

"Analysis shows no conclusive answer. But If I was to guess, it would be the sadness of not being a princess and destroying my enemies" Said the Jackbot scavenger

Jack took a moment to absorb the situation, he didn't have time for this. He wanted to try out his new toy "I don't even..look! I Don't have time for this! Go to your room until after I'm done blasting this pipsqueak!" Jack pointed to the doors.

"But master..I do not have a room" The Jackbot then turned to Spike "See? He even sends me into a room that does not exist"

"Don't worry about it man, it'll be ok one day" Spike waved to the bot

"I can't believe this. IS EVERYBODY GOING NUTS OR IS IT JUST ME? AM I DREAMING? I mean, I have this right here!" Jack holds up the Alicorn Amulet "but suddenly everything is just loopy. Talking horses, my own jackbots being weird, and Wuya just blowing up. Just pinch me already so I can wake up."

"Orders received" The Jackbot said as he pinched Jack's arm with brutal force, causing him to yelp, and even cry a little

"OWWWW! WAHH..NGH....ngh..DON'T DO THAT! I'M REALLY TENDER RIGHT NOW! I ALREADY KNOW I'M NOT DREAMING!" he began to give a small rub towards his crotch, it was still sore from Applejack’s buck "...trust me...ugh..I really know, anyway, JUST GET OUT OF HERE!"

The Jackbot complied, and left Jack to his devices. Leaving him and Spike alone.

"I can't believe you got the Alicorn Amulet! What, was nopony there or something?" Spike said, his depression from earlier a distant memory.

"No! a couple of your dumb friends were there. But I sure took care of them! But the buttkicking they got ain't gonna be nothing to the pain you're gonna feel!" Jack chuckled evilly at Spike, asserting his dominance

"Yeah...I doubt that" Spike crossed his arms in doubt

"Doubt? What? Are you calling me a liar! How would you know what happened." Jack snapped back

"Well, I know a couple of things now actually.Like how you wet the bed" Spike stifled a chuckle

"WHAT?! WHO TOLD....ha! whatever, I don't even do that anymore. It's been three whole days since the last time that happened!" Jack rubbed his nose, feeling triumphant

"yeah sure...anyway, I doubt you did any "buttkicking". Your clothes are messed up, you got a lot of lumps, and I think those hoof marks are Applejacks. Man, you really took a beating" he chuckled "I bet you just managed to get that amulet because you cheated and then ran away using...I dunno..a flash bomb or something"

"NO I DIDN'T!" Jack retorted

Spike just gave him a smug stare

"FINE! SO MAYBE I DID!" Jack suddenly smiled at him as he held the Alicorn amulet forward "laugh it up dragonboy! Because it's gonna be the last time you laugh at the GREAT and POWERFUL JACK SPICER! ALICORN AMULET!" Jack aimed the amulet directly at Spike, But spike just stood there, with the same smug stare. Not even blinking.

"HAHHAA...hey! What gives! ALICORN AMULET!" Jack tries saying the name again, but nothing happened. "ALICORNAMULETALICORNAMULETALICORNAMULETALICORNAMULET!"

Jack kept yelling it at the Amulet until he began to tire himself out, sweating and panting "Ali-alicor....alicor.....grrr..WHATS WRONG WITH THIS THING?! You, Dragonbreath! What's going on?!"

Spike shrugged "I don't know, why don't you go ask your dollie. it might know, HAHAHAHA" Spike started to bust a gut "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE AN AMULET! HAHAHA! GREAT AND POWERFUL?!? COMPARED TO WHO?! TRIXIE!? THATS A GOOD ONE! IT REALLY IS! SHE'S SOMEHOW BETTER THAN YOU! HAHAHAHA!"

"H-hey stop...STOP LAUGHING..ngh...AND ITS NOT A DOLL! It's just a floppy action figure my grandma got me to help protect me from boogiemen and nightmares! Their real! I've seen them!"

Spike couldn't even get a word in, this was too much. He was laughing uncontrollably.

Jack started to get tears in his eyes "S-Shut up!" Jack shakes the Alicorn Amulet, then gives up "F-fine! How do I get this to work? Tell me!"

Spike lifted an eyebrow as he calmed himself "Are you serious?"

"Yes! Come on!" Jack got on his knees "I'm SOOOO close to ruling all of you with an iron fist! Just tell me, please! Look I said please! Pleeeease!"

Spike facepalmed, he couldn't even believe his guy was an actual threat before "can you just stop? this is embarrassing"

"I'll give you a gem!" Jack tried to bargain with him

"I already ate." Spike rubbed his stomach

Jack burst into tears and grabbed at Spike's leg through the net "COME ON PLEASE! I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS CLOSE TO ABSOLUTE DOMINATION BEFORE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! I'LL EVEN MAKE YOU MY RIGHT HAND DRAGON! COOOMMMEEE ONNN!"

Spike sighed, this was just sad now "Ok ok geez.Look, all you gotta do is wear it. and bam, it happens...can you let go of my leg already?"

"O-ok..." Jack stood up slowly and took a breath and laughed "HAHAHAH! STUPID DRAGON, I KNEW YOU'D FALL FOR MY EVIL RUSE! NOW YOU'RE DOOMED, DOOMED FOREVER!"

"uhh.....huh...so all of those tears are part of your ruse too?" Spike just pointed at the massive tears coming from Jack's eyes.

"Y-YES! e-e-everybody knows that any truly evil person can fake any emotion to trick goody two shoes like you!" Jack turned around to hide himself wiping his eyes and wiping his nose of his boogers. Holding in a sneeze.

Spike just sighed and thought to himself "This guy....eh, if I had some popcorn, I'd be set."

Jack, regaining his composure slowly, Put on the Alicorn Amulet. Suddenly, he could feel it. The power, it was flowing through him as sparks flew from his eyes, and the amulet glowed a blood red color. "THIS IS IT! THE POWER! I CAN FEEL IT! ALL THIS POWER! GET READY OMI! ONCE I GET BACK, I'M GOING TO USE YOUR HEAD AS MY PERSONAL BASKETBALL!" Jack did a few poses, then shifted his eyes towards Spike "Oh, about the right hand dragon thing? I lied! Say goodnight!" Jack aimed his hand at Spike to shoot some super duper blast.....but nothing happened. Spike just leaned down, snacking on a gem.

Then, Spike began to clap "Good job genius, now that i'm turned to dust. What are you gonna do next? use your hand to help point traffic or maybe go pet a goat?"

"what?! NO GRAGH! BLOW UP ALREADY! HYA! HYA!" Jack kept swinging his hand around, trying to get something to happen. But nothing did.
Jack frantically put his hands out towards Spike "hold that thought! I'll destroy you in a second. gotta try something out!"

Jack figured if he didn't have super blast powers, then he had to have super strength. He rushed up to a pillar and prepared a punch. Then slammed his fist directly into it. But all it caused was his hand to thump red in sheer pain. He grabbed on to it and whined and ran around like a sissy "AHHH AHHH AHHH AHH! MY GOOD HAND!! WAHHHH!!!"

"I actually hope Twilight takes her time now. This guy is all sorts of good stuff. he'd be good actor in a Manehatten comedy play" Spike thought to himself. gnawing on another gem.

Jack, in sheer tears pointed at Spike "Grrr! You'll pay eventually...ngh...Once I figure this all out, you're doomed. YOU'RE ALL DOOMED! NGHWWHHAAA!" Jack ran into the other room crying in pain and humiliation. And he had no ointment for the pain on his body or on his butt.

Spike chuckled to himself "wow.just...wow"

Comments

[Roran Dreamon]

I only had to read the title to know that Jack Spicer will always fail, I have seen the show and my god is this character the best *cough* worst *cough* at the job of beating a group of 4 people to acquire relics of immense power. I got jacked by Jack.